Chapter 19: An Impossible Escape

The ruin of their relationship had already begun back then. It was only Ahnok who had struggled in denial, desperately stitching and quilting his mangled heart together to endure it all.

“But I am an Eumin.”

“…?”

“Your Highness loathes Eumin, do you not?”

This was the only card Ahnok had left to lean on. Yet, it was also the most certain card in his hand.

Taking a “liking” to him was surely nothing more than a momentary curiosity. Perhaps the sight of a trivial youth from the humble Baekya-bu prattling on about the Crown Prince’s death had piqued his interest for a second.

However, unless every memory related to Noble Consort Sa was excavated from Yeo Jae-won’s mind, the fact that he hated Eumin would never change.

Ahnok was the one who had asked to be let go, claiming the Prince wouldn’t want him anyway, but saying those words felt like gouging out his own heart. His eyes, which had been staring directly at Yeo Jae-won, lost their strength for a moment and wavered.

“And?”

Yeo Jae-won, who had maintained an unusually long silence, countered. The question was so simple that Ahnok was momentarily speechless.

As Yeo Jae-won crossed his arms, the dark purple fabric of his official robe made a crisp, rustling sound. His attitude suggested that if Ahnok had more to say, he should go ahead and try.

I have to push harder here. Ahnok brought forth words he had carefully chosen.

“…Rather than marrying an Eumin like me, would it not be better to take a lady from a prestigious family as your consort?”

In truth, facing him and speaking for this long felt incredibly awkward. What Ahnok was accustomed to was Yeo Jae-won’s back.

When he had first arrived at the Myeong residence in his past life, he used to walk slowly, following the traces left by the man’s shadow, hoping to catch up—even if only to the back of the man who had coldly turned away from him.

Every time he heard people say the Prince of Myeong was perfect in every way except for the flaw that was his consort, Ahnok had wondered: what would it have been like if the Prince had rejected him entirely or refused this marriage from the start?

If he had married a talented woman from a powerful family, the Prince wouldn’t have been the subject of gossip, and Ahnok wouldn’t have had to suffer this much by coming to the capital…

Ahnok even went as far as to say that if the marriage was difficult to cancel because it was an Imperial decree, he would take the full responsibility for the fallout. Having said this much, there was no reason for Yeo Jae-won to refuse, yet he remained strangely quiet.

The concubine who had coveted Ahnok’s position in his previous life was Consort Seong, Hyeon Hee-yeon. Her father was Hyeon Sang-eun, who would later become a high-ranking official. Even with Ahnok’s limited knowledge of court politics, he knew Hyeon Sang-eun held a solid position and became a focal point for the supporters of the late Crown Prince after his early death.

It would be better to marry Hyeon Hee-yeon now; with her father’s power behind him, Yeo Jae-won could contend with Prince Hye much earlier. Since Yeo Jae-won would ascend to the throne again in this life, Hyeon Hee-yeon could stably obtain the position she desired without having to dirty her hands by harming another’s child.

Wasn’t this path better for everyone? For Yeo Jae-won, for Hyeon Hee-yeon, and… for Ahnok himself.

“Indeed, you are right.”

Uncrossing his arms and straightening his posture, Yeo Jae-won looked down at Ahnok with an unreadable gaze. The words came after a long silence.

Even though Ahnok was the one who suggested the Prince marry someone else, hearing Yeo Jae-won agree made his heart feel as if it had dropped into a bottomless pit. As his head slumped forward, Yeo Jae-won’s voice continued.

“I dislike Eumin, and your background is insufficient to support what I desire. Although this marriage was ordered by His Imperial Majesty, it wouldn’t be impossible to manufacture a suitable excuse, place the blame for the annulment on Baekya-bu, and act as if this match never happened.”

“…”

“It is a self-evident fact that it would be better to break the engagement and take a lady from a prestigious house as a consort.”

“Then…”

“However, is it not all too perfect?”

Ahnok stared at the Yeo Jae-won who was the same age he had been when he died. Twenty-seven. Even though he was facing Yeo Jae-won with that much life experience behind him, he still couldn’t understand the man at all.

“It is so perfect that it is suspicious.”

Yeo Jae-won leaned down to close the distance, causing Ahnok to instinctively lean back. But he couldn’t avoid him.

What thoughts were spinning behind those eyes?

He was a man who hated things he couldn’t control. Even reflecting on the words he said on their wedding night proved it. Those words about how he would decide everything Ahnok saw, heard, said, and did.

Because something still felt off to him now, he wouldn’t easily let it go, even when presented with satisfactory conditions.

“Did you not come to the capital precisely to marry me?”

“…”

He couldn’t say he had come to break the engagement. Ahnok kept his mouth shut and waited for Yeo Jae-won to continue.

“What is the reason you desire an annulment?”

Now, Yeo Jae-won’s face had cooled completely, without a trace of a smile.

It was the face Ahnok had drawn in his heart countless times and captured with his eyes tens of thousands of times. There wasn’t a single corner of it that wasn’t familiar, yet for some reason, it felt foreign. It shouldn’t be strange to see the face that treated him with such coldness.

Should I tell him the truth? The thought flickered for a moment.

It was a naive and foolish idea. Who would believe him? Who would believe that he attempted suicide only to wake up in the past? Even Ahnok himself could hardly believe it.

Perhaps the other side was the dream? That seven-year life, so tedious, painful, and disjointed that he wanted to let it all go? If it was a dream, there could be no nightmare more cruel.

He could have manufactured a plausible excuse, but Ahnok, buried in the seven years of memories that flashed like afterimages, asked the nightmare of a man before him:

“Does it… matter?”

Based only on the way the Prince had treated him in his past life, Ahnok hadn’t doubted for a second that he would readily nod at the proposal to break the engagement. Yeo Jae-won had been that indifferent to him, acting as if he didn’t even care to hold onto him.

Yeo Jae-won straightened his back and walked halfway around the round table to return to his original seat. Sitting down, he adjusted his sleeves with his characteristic elegant gestures and continued nonchalantly.

“It matters. Unless you have a lover left behind in your hometown, a person who throws away the chance to become a Grand Prince’s Consort and begs for an annulment does not seem sane.”

That confidence, without a shred of doubt in his own status, was something Ahnok had once admired.

Yeo Jae-won was still Yeo Jae-won. He was once again shaking Ahnok—who had vowed never to make this man the reason for his existence again—just by the fact of his presence.

But he must not be shaken. Even if this second life was like a curse, he did not want to repeat the suffering he already knew.

“Ah, perhaps I hit the mark? You truly must have a lover left behind.”

A dimple formed along the slightly upturned right corner of his lip. At a glance, it looked like a smile, but it felt like anything but.

If he had a lover left behind, they weren’t in his hometown—they were in his past life. At this thought, Ahnok lowered his head and let out a hollow laugh.

When their eyes met again, Yeo Jae-won’s face was frozen in a terrifyingly cold mask. He had likely taken Ahnok’s hollow laugh as a sign of mockery. Ahnok straightened his expression.

“And what if I do?”

At the somewhat provocative question, Yeo Jae-won arched one eyebrow sharply.

During the brief silence, the sound of Yeo Jae-won tapping his index finger on the round table repeated rhythmically. When even that concise, repetitive movement stopped, Ahnok briefly regretted provoking him.

However, he didn’t want to be at Yeo Jae-won’s mercy in his second life either. In reality, even if he did have a lover, the man wouldn’t care anyway.

“Then I must eliminate them.”

Resting his fingers flat on the table, Yeo Jae-won responded in a casual tone and continued.

“Whether I eliminate the person you call your lover, or eliminate that heart you harbor for them.”

In his past life, when he had craved a single look or a single touch, the man had been so cruel and unwilling to give anything. So why was he holding onto him now when he was trying to run away?

He was an unchangingly selfish man. Yeo Jae-won, who had allowed Ahnok the space beside him but refused to give his heart, now refused to even tolerate the idea of Ahnok liking someone else.

Of course, that “someone else” was also Yeo Jae-won. Ahnok bit his lip hard, wondering why on earth he could never escape from this man.

“It is not a marriage based on mutual affection anyway, so what does it matter if I have a lover? Whether I fold my heart or you eliminate my lover, I will never love Your Highness.”

This was a vow. He could not spend his second life chasing Yeo Jae-won’s back and pining for him. He must not.

But could he truly keep this vow until the end? Beneath the round table, Ahnok’s clenched hands trembled slightly.