Chapter 60: A Twisted Truth

Though Yeo Jae-won’s memories were not yet complete, he knew one thing with absolute certainty: the Anok of his past life possessed no such paramour.

Had he not witnessed it within those dreamlike fragments? The youth who so bitterly resented the man had, beneath all that pain, harbored a soul-crushing, desperate love for him.

Looking back, Anok had never given a clear answer when asked if he had a lover left behind at the Baekya estate. He had merely raised the possibility by countering with a question of his own, but he had never explicitly confirmed it.

Meanwhile, Anok blinked his eyes slowly, completely bewildered by Yeo Jae-won’s sudden query. He had no idea why the man was bringing up that topic out of nowhere.

It was not at the Baekya estate, but Anok did have a paramour he had left behind in a past life. Unable to speak such a truth aloud, Anok hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding his head.

“Why would I ever speak a falsehood before Your Highness?”

“Did you truly believe saying that would make me let you go?”

Lowering his head with an unreadable expression, Anok licked his dry lips with the tip of his tongue, attempting to hide his trembling hands beneath the silk quilt. Yet those hands were promptly caught in Yeo Jae-won’s firm grasp.

“That lover of yours.”

“……”

“Is it possible he wasn’t left behind at the Baekya estate, but in a past life?”

Anok’s slender neck bore not a trace of excess flesh. Tightening with sudden tension, the veins and tendons beneath his pale skin stood out starkly for a moment before quietly settling back down.

Yeo Jae-won could not be certain where Anok’s timeline of regression had begun. Thus, he could not entirely rule out the possibility that Anok truly did have someone waiting at the Baekya estate.

Yet despite knowing the risk, Yeo Jae-won took the gamble—and instantly confirmed his victory. The Anok standing before him was concocting a lie, desperately trying to deceive even himself.

“Your Highness……”

How does this man know about my second life? And so abruptly?

Anok struggled to draw breath, feeling as though an invisible hand were constricting his throat. At his choked call, Yeo Jae-won stepped even closer in silent response.

Since opening his eyes in despair to begin this second life, Anok had never once let slip a single hint that his existence was repeating. How, then, did Yeo Jae-won know? Could it be, as he had once vaguely conjectured, that the prince was also repeating this life alongside him?

As Anok unconsciously shook his head in denial, a broad, warm hand wrapped gently around the back of his neck.

“I told you, did I not? I will not lose you a second time.”

The very words Yeo Jae-won had spoken while holding him tightly in the middle of that cold, pitch-black swamp echoed once more. The two voices overlapped in his mind, seamlessly merging into one. Anok’s hollow, vacant eyes reflected nothing but Yeo Jae-won’s face.

Was Yeo Jae-won dragged into my regression as well? Did his clouded memories return while I lay bedridden, making him realize that this life is a repetition?

To pull a man who lived triumphantly as Emperor back to a time before the struggle for the throne even began, and to leave even his memories fragmented…… How much deeper must his resentment toward me grow?

Shaking his head frantically, Anok tried to pull away from Yeo Jae-won. He was in such absolute shock that he seemed entirely unaware his internal thoughts were spilling aloud.

“Let…… let me go. ……If you know everything, if you remember, then please just let me go.”

“Anok.”

“I have suffered enough. I have been in enough agony. ……Is that not enough? I will not ask for your heart. I will no longer be greedy for your affection or your presence. So please……”

Anok’s words cut off abruptly as a unfamiliar, yet strangely accustomed warmth suddenly covered his lips.

Yeo Jae-won, who had merely pressed his lips gently against Anok’s as a quiet comfort, drew back slowly only when the youth’s trembling shoulders finally stilled.

“You look as though you want to strike me.”

“……”

“You may hit me if you wish.”

His tone made it clear that even so, he had no intention of letting him go. In a surge of resentment and retaliation for the sudden action, Anok clenched his fist tight and struck Yeo Jae-won across the cheek with considerable force.

Fortunately, the blow did not split the skin inside his mouth. Turning his head back after taking the strike, Yeo Jae-won rubbed his stinging cheek and let out a soft, amused chuckle.

“How much of the past life do you recall? When did your second life begin?”

“……”

“Answer me, Anok.”

Though Anok was the one who had landed the strike, he was the one gritting his teeth in frustration. He barely parted his trembling lips.

Is it wise to tell him? He deliberated dozens of times in a brief second, but hiding it now would change nothing.

“I remember everything. When I opened my eyes, it was during the funeral of the person who raised me like a grandmother. Shortly after, I arrived at the capital. That is all.”

“Let me ask one more thing.”

Anok nodded his head in quiet resignation.

“Is your heart still the same?”

The moment he heard that question, bitter resentment welled up in Anok’s dark eyes.

“I am asking if your lover still remains in the past life.”

“Does that even matter?”

“It matters immensely. Because from this moment on, I intend to become your new lover.”

Those words were spoken with absolute sincerity. Yeo Jae-won intended to pour every ounce of his strength and devotion into holding onto Anok from here on out. He was willing to grant everything Anok desired this time around, but he had no intention of releasing him—even if that happened to be Anok’s single greatest wish.

After all, this time had been reset solely for the sake of claiming Anok.

Anok, on the other hand, furrowed his brow as if he had heard something utterly absurd. There was no way Yeo Jae-won would entertain such thoughts; the man clearly despised him and held him in contempt, so Anok could not comprehend why he would utter such words.

Faced with something inexplicable, a person’s instinct was to pull away. Anok shook his head.

“Perhaps you preferred the me from the past?” Yeo Jae-won asked playfully, prompting Anok to part his tightly sealed lips.

“Your joke goes too far.”

“What if I am being sincere?”

“I cannot bring myself to believe it.”

“You are terribly heartless only to me.”

“Surely you know the reason why.”

Since Yeo Jae-won was aware that their lives were repeating, Anok no longer saw a point in hiding anything. Reflecting upon his past actions, the prince could not possibly be ignorant of why Anok pushed him away so fiercely.

For a brief second, Yeo Jae-won considered asking if it was because of the child, but he held his tongue. He knew that without all his memories restored, it was not a topic to be brought up recklessly.

Instead, he stood up composedly and gently pressed against Anok’s shoulders, easing him back down onto the bed. Looking down at Anok, who lay there staring up at him with wide, clear eyes, Yeo Jae-won found the sight quite endearing and offered a faint smile.

“Stay lying down. I shall fetch the physician.”

He patted Anok’s chest gently a couple of times, a gesture resembling how one might comfort a young child.

Stepping away from the bed before Anok could even attempt to stop him, Yeo Jae-won quickly exited the room. Even long after his back disappeared, Anok remained staring blankly at the doorway.

How long must I continue to be swayed by his unpredictable behavior?

Lying there helplessly, Anok forced himself upright. The deep, dark shadow of depression that had consumed him without leaving a shred of sanity was beginning to swallow him whole once more.

As he took a faltering step, his stumbling body collided with the chair Yeo Jae-won had been sitting on, sending it sliding past the silk curtains with a loud thud.

A sharp noise echoed through the room, but Anok paid it no mind. He simply continued walking forward. The door rattled as though someone outside was trying to enter, but no one stepped in, likely checked by Yeo Jae-won’s prior instructions.

“Your Highness, are you all right?”

“I am fine.”

The voice outside belonged to Eunuch Im. Anok replied calmly, though his own voice sounded strangely distant and foreign to his own ears, as if spoken by someone else entirely.

The ornate sword that had decorated the wall had been pulled down by Anok’s own hands earlier, only failing in its attempt to cut his throat. He had been terrified of dying. In that moment, it wasn’t merely the pain of slicing his flesh and severing the warm, pulsing veins in his neck that terrified him.

He could not deny it. He had been terrified that no further chances would be granted to him.

Anok did not know the mechanism behind his regression. Thus, he had previously worried that dying would simply cause him to wake up again and repeat time all over. But this time, he had been terrified that he would receive no second chance at all.

It was not merely about the chance to regress. Having lived through this life, Anok had personally witnessed the things he had chosen to alter, catching a glimpse of new possibilities. He dreaded losing the chance to explore those possibilities.

And at the center of it all, he could no longer deny that a lingering affection for Yeo Jae-won remained—that a heart bruised and tattered a hundred times over was dangerously beginning to sprout anew at the man’s incomprehensible warmth.

Paradoxically, that very realization made him yearn for death all the more. Even while fearing death and clinging to lingering regrets and attachments in this life, the sheer weight of it all made him want to surrender everything instead.

Perhaps the unpredictable one was not just Yeo Jae-won, but himself as well. Living was so overwhelmingly complex and agonizing; would it not be far simpler to bring it all to an end through death?

Anok’s mind became thoroughly tangled in distorted thoughts. At last, he came to a complete, vacant standstill right on the spot where he had retched earlier.

📚 Also on NHV Novels

An Undeniable Pull

ChaebolDominant TopObsessive

Read Now →
Not interested