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Join the ServerAs if awakening at the center of an indescribably violent vortex, everything felt hazy and hopelessly tangled.
What were those fragments he had just witnessed? While every formal title pointing to the key figures had been drowned out into silence, the sole name that rang clear was Anok’s—a name already so deeply etched into his soul.
To move Anok’s mortuary tablet to the Imperial Ancestral Shrine…… Does that mean Anok died in that world? What did the woman mean by turning back time? And what did it mean that no memories would remain?
“Ugh……!”
A excruciating pain, incomparable to any headache he had suffered before, felt as though it were clamping down around his skull. Yeo Jae-won, who had fallen into an uncomfortable drowse resting on a small chair beside Anok’s bed, forced himself upright.
The pain was so blinding that he could barely see what lay directly before him. Stumbling as if on the verge of collapsing, he barely managed to steady himself by grabbing hold of the wooden pillar supporting the bed curtains. Gradually, his vision swam back into focus.
“Anok.”
The man in the dream had undoubtedly uttered Anok’s name. As Yeo Jae-won’s gaze drifted toward the bed, he saw Anok sleeping peacefully, his complexion looking a bit more relieved as his fever began to break.
“The only thing that can be guaranteed is the act of turning back time itself……”
Yeo Jae-won softly recited the words spoken by the man in his dream. You will remember nothing. The mysterious woman had stated with absolute certainty that the child knew nothing of the spell.
He could not piece together the full truth, leaving his mind in utter chaos. Yet, an undeniable intuition pierced through the fog.
The Anok of that past world had died. And someone—that man—had sacrificed his very life to turn back time.
The youth Yeo Jae-won had glimpsed within those dreamlike fragments was surely Anok. The one who lay motionless, pale as wax. The one who wept over the small coffin, calling the deceased infant his child. ……Every single one of those visions belonged to Anok.
And the man who, even in the face of the child’s death, worried first and foremost for Anok’s well-being—the man who willingly surrendered his own life to undo it all—was undoubtedly……
“……”
Himself.
The person Yeo Jae-won felt he had lost in the past—the person he swore he could never bear to lose a second time—was none other than Anok. And the reason Anok had ultimately turned his back on the world in that past life…… was him.
Yeo Jae-won had no idea how contorted, pained, and utterly devastated his own face looked in that moment. He traced his fingers along his skin, desperately trying to make sense of the uncanny sense of dissonance filling his chest.
It was impossible to comprehend everything merely from shattered fragments of memory. There were likely countless unremembered emotions and events buried far deeper.
Even Yeo Jae-won himself could not recall why his past self had treated Anok with such harsh indifference, nor why their bond had rotted away into such a tragic, twisted state.
He felt as though he were drowning beneath a surging wave of overwhelming emotion. Yet, Yeo Jae-won slowly stepped back toward the bedside he had just retreated from.
It was human nature to pull away from the unknown rather than draw near to it. But he was terrified that if he took another step back, he might remain ignorant forever—that he might lose Anok entirely in the process.
It terrified him to an irrational degree whenever Anok pulled away from him. Even when he knew nothing of the past, he had felt an intense aversion when Anok asked to break their engagement; he had felt an absolute unwillingness when asked to let him go. He had despised the very thought of it.
Yeo Jae-won knew he was not so weak-willed a person as to feel tormented or desperate over someone he held no affection for walking away.
In truth, he possessed an exceptionally detached nature. If he had felt nothing for Anok, he would have readily granted his wish the moment the youth asked to be freed. Yet Yeo Jae-won had refused. Instead, he had masked his intense anxiety behind a layer of sharp displeasure, adamantly denying the request.
When Anok first arrived at the estate and presented his proposition, it had been entirely reasonable from a rational standpoint. Even so, Yeo Jae-won had rejected it. At the time, he had used the absurd excuse of finding the situation amusing, but deep down, the true foundation of his refusal was a singular, fierce desire: he simply could not let Anok go.
Yet Anok seemed constantly consumed by thoughts of fleeing, repeatedly asking to be released. It was as though he wished to settle their bond naturally and depart peacefully before resorting to running away on his own two feet.
Though his fever had subsided somewhat, Anok’s body still seemed to ache, fine beads of cold sweat clinging to his forehead. Yeo Jae-won reached out a large hand, gently wiping the sweat from Anok’s brow and sweeping away the loose strands of hair clinging to his temple.
“I am sorry.”
The barely audible apology was offered for the forgotten days of the past, as well as for the days yet to come.
He was sorry for driving Anok to choose death himself, and he was sorry for acting cold and distant even after selfishly turning back time to meet him once more. He was sorry for failing to properly define his own emotions, taking far too long to admit that the only thing he truly desired was Anok himself.
Yet, despite it all, he could not let him go. And for that ultimate selfishness, he was deeply sorry.
Neither his emotions nor his memories had returned intact. The mysterious woman’s warning had proven true: the only guarantee was the reset of time itself. This was a second chance at life, and the current Yeo Jae-won had no intention of letting Anok slip away. That was all that mattered.
“I cannot let you go.”
I cannot lose you twice.
His thumb, filled with tender affection, brushed gently across the temple previously covered by untidy hair, traced down the fever-flushed skin around his eyes and cheekbones, and finally lingered briefly over Anok’s dry, chapped lips before pulling away.
There was no telling how deeply he would regret this once every memory prior to the reset returned. Even from the brief glimpses he had seen, Yeo Jae-won could guess how harsh a husband the man had been to the youth.
He knew full well that love could not be used as an excuse to erase past cruelties. But the present Yeo Jae-won—with his fragmented, incomplete memories—could offer no defense. He could not explain or justify any of the actions committed by his past self.
Thus, in this very moment, he had no choice but to devote himself entirely to holding onto the Anok before him.
Suddenly, Yeo Jae-won wondered how intact Anok’s own memories were. Seeing how the youth constantly sought to distance himself, it seemed likely that Anok remembered the past life in its entirety. Was that why he was so desperate to escape?
Yet even that was a debt Yeo Jae-won would have to bear. In a past conversation, Anok had once stated that he would grant opportunities to anyone else, but never to him. Given that Anok had granted him countless chances throughout a lifetime, it was entirely understandable that none remained.
“If you will not give me a chance, I shall simply have to create one.”
A faint, crooked smile touched Yeo Jae-won’s lips. A subtle dimple formed along his right cheek as the corner of his mouth curved upward. He pressed a soft, gentle kiss against Anok’s temple before drawing back.
The sensation of freezing water rising up to his thighs felt unsettling and bizarre to Anok. The liquid, somewhat thicker and stickier than ordinary water, actively hampered his forward movement.
With every step he took, Anok realized his body was gradually sinking deeper. In truth, it was a dark, suffocating swamp. Yet its color was nothing but absolute blackness.
As if it were the night of a new moon, the dark blue sky past midnight hung overhead in silent, heavy darkness. All around him, the eerie sound of a chilling wind whistled past without pause.
Huddling his body against the unseasonal cold wind, Anok continued walking forward, oblivious to what he was even trudging toward. And with every step, he sank further into the abyss.
If I simply let this dark water submerge my head entirely, will I finally be able to die? Will I finally be freed from all this agony?
“……!”
At that moment, a firm hand violently seized Anok’s wrist. Catching his breath sharply, Anok turned his head to look at the man who had stepped into the pitch-black swamp alongside him.
It was an intensely familiar face. Looking down at Anok with a cold, unreadable expression—as though nothing in this world could easily stir his emotions—was Yeo Jae-won.
“……Let go.”
“……”
“Please…… let me go.”
Anok tried to shake off the grip with desperate force, but Yeo Jae-won did not budge in the slightest. On the contrary, the more Anok struggled, the more the man used the momentum to draw even closer.
At this rate, Yeo Jae-won would end up sinking into the abyss alongside him. While Anok cared nothing for a life he wished to drown in this mire, the same could not be said for Yeo Jae-won. Anok desperately swung his free arm, pushing against the man’s shoulder in a desperate attempt to shove him away.
Yet even that arm was promptly caught. While Anok’s face turned bright red from the sheer exertion of trying to push him off, Yeo Jae-won maintained an icy, composed countenance amidst the shadowy gloom of the night sky.
“I told you to let go!”
Rarely in his life had Anok ever shouted at someone with such fierce intensity. He raised his voice in desperation, straining to pull his arms free. Yet Yeo Jae-won merely stared down at his frantic struggle with an unreadable expression.
As Anok thrashed his trapped arms and legs in total futility, his entire body froze at the sudden warmth of the man drawing close to pull him into a tight, unyielding embrace.
“I cannot let you go.”
“……”
“I told you, did I not? I will not lose you a second time.”
Hearing the low voice whispered directly into his ear, Anok found himself completely paralyzed, unable to move a single muscle.
He knew he ought to tell the man that he was not the person he was searching for—that he ought to release him at once. Yet the words refused to form.
Stiff and motionless, Anok felt the ground beneath his feet completely give way. The cold, damp sensation surged past his waist, swallowed his ribs, and ultimately engulfed not only Anok, but also Yeo Jae-won, who held him in a tight lock.
Though the dark swamp that swallowed the intruders remained cold, damp, and unforgiving, Anok felt a paradoxical sense of profound tranquility held within the man’s firm embrace.
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