Chapter 1 Part 1: I, Who Was a Top in Reality

“……So, I’ve put in a coin, could you just give it a light once-over for me?”

To my coworker, who spoke to me with an embarrassed and cautious tone, I replied with my usual impassive face.

“Yes.

Understood.”

I am a sound designer at an audio drama production company, and my job is editing audio sources.

It’s a role that processes the recorded voice actors’ lines, background music, sound effects, and so on, so they blend well and are clearly conveyed to the listener.

To create a work of high quality, a sufficient understanding of the original source material was necessary.

When I joined my current company, from the interview stage, I was asked if I was okay with primarily handling BL works.

I nodded, saying that I was.

Since then, I’ve worked on everything from mild pieces to hardcore ones, so there are no longer any coworkers who awkwardly think, ‘A guy…… doing BL?’

Well, that’s because I consistently produced stable, high-quality output.

So, thinking it was odd that my counterpart was particularly hesitant today, I began reading the BL webtoon that was about to be adapted into an audio drama.

‘Ah.’

I soon understood the reason.

‘Since it’s a high-steam fantasy setting, unrealistic scenes come up often…… I think you should check it out for reference.’

That meant I should brace myself because tentacles appear and men get pregnant.

Got it.

Unpacking the magic-using scenes, since all the main characters are wizards, without making them look cheesy would be one of my homework assignments.

But honestly, that kind of thing actually sparks a sense of challenge, so it didn’t bother me at all.

After lightly skimming the first part, I turned off the screen, planning to read the rest carefully at home.

“There are a lot of elements I’m trying for the first time, so it should be fun.”

When I replied plainly without showing any particular interest, everyone finally looked relieved.

Anyway, it’s a workplace where even watching my coworkers is entertaining.

It seems they never imagine that someone working on this kind of material might actually be a homosexual themselves.

“Hah…….”

I’m fucked.

It would have been better if my sexual orientation had been exposed at work.

Let’s assess the situation.

I was in the middle of an early leave, protected by the praiseworthy flexible working hours system.

My plan for getting home early was to lounge on the sofa and read the assigned work, which was technically an extension of my job.

Still, it was a task I chose willingly.

But I have no memory of anything after boarding the elevator to my officetel, almost home.

It’s because I’ve been reading way too many web novels for work.

That’s why I’m having this insane dream.

What kind of possession is this?

Have I lost my mind?

……But thinking that way, every single sensation was too vivid.

“I’m going crazy.”

No, don’t lose it.

I have to go back.

I have a well-maintained life waiting for me.

But no matter how much I thought about it, the situation was perfect for going to shit with just one wrong step.

Why?

“Rudan.

It’s Rudan.”

The face reflected in the broken mirror lying on the stone floor, covered in dust and dirt……

It was the face of the main bottom from the webtoon I had been skimming just a few hours ago.

To be honest, since there’s a difference between 2D and 3D faces, I couldn’t really tell if they looked alike, but the characteristic design elements overlapped.

Black hair, just long enough to tie back.

Violet eyes.

A tattoo engraved on the neck.

Faded robes.

Looking at that handsome face gave me a headache.

The main keywords of the BL webtoon Endless Darkness are #MultipleTopsOneBottom #FleeingBottom #TossedAroundBottom #PregnantBottom #Angst.

To explain in a bit more detail what I’d properly gleaned from skimming it:

In this world’s setting, wizards are divided into two opposing factions.

Imera, who wants to maintain the current world, and Nieta, who wants to overturn light and shadow.

Ah, the setting regarding wizards themselves is also important.

Wizards here cannot use magic on their own.

If two wizards with different forms of power don’t form a pair, they become close to ordinary humans.

There are Absorption-type wizards, who can obtain mana from the outside and store magical power within their bodies.

And there are Emission-type wizards, who don’t have a vessel to store magical power in their bodies but can use powerful magic.

Simply put, even the strongest Emission-type wizard can’t do anything without an Absorption-type wizard to serve as their ‘mana vessel.’

Four male leads appear in Endless Darkness.

Two are from Imera, two are from Nieta.

And all four are Emission-type wizards.

So what does that mean?

There’s always a reason why a work popular enough to be adapted into an audio drama becomes a hit.

It contains the cliché elements that everyone expects and enjoys.

The main bottom, Rudan, is naturally an Absorption-type wizard.

He possesses a mana vessel so vast that no one else could replace him.

However, due to his low status, sickly body, and ignorance of the world, he fails to properly understand his unique position and is fatefully tossed around by the male leads.

As the chapters progress, the male leads smoothly become obsessed with Rudan.

Why?

Because Emission-type wizards instinctively feel an emotional and sexual attraction to the Absorption-type wizard who supplies them with power.

It’s a cleverly constructed setting, similar to but distinct from the Guideverse or Omegaverse.

“The art was great too.

The potential is insane.”

No, that’s not what’s important right now.

No matter how I look at my current appearance or my surroundings, it doesn’t seem like the early part of the story.

Tracing my memory of skimming the thumbnails……

Yeah, it’s probably around the middle.

“Ugh…….”

And this nauseating, gut-wrenching feeling that’s been persistent for a while.

This feeling is ominous.

There was definitely a #PregnantBottom keyword……?

A man getting pregnant.

I think I’ve heard somewhere that such a thing is possible nowadays with the boundless advancement of modern medicine, but naturally, in this world, it’s not achieved through medical science.

For wizards, the concept of gender is useless.

Depending on their abilities, the scope differs, but a wizard can live in any form they desire.

From a single blade of grass to a giant beast.

Some wizards even deliberately live for hundreds of years in the form of a gemstone, so what use is mere gender?

……That’s all just the story’s setting, of course.

If you ask what I thought reading it—it’s a convenient setting tacked on just to include the pregnant bottom keyword.

Anyway, pregnancy itself isn’t a common occurrence among wizards, but there are rare cases where even those of the same s*x can conceive.

I clutched my churning chest and sat down, taking a long time before I got back up.

Once it started, the dry heaving didn’t stop and continued for about two hours.

That’s not an exaggeration; I’m judging based on the change in sunlight.

Since Rudan hadn’t eaten anything recently, nothing came up, and I was just left exhausted from retching.

I sat on the window frame, where the glass should have been, staring outside.

There’s absolutely no strength in my body.

This kind of sensation was a first for me.

“Hah…….”

So that’s why he kept collapsing at the drop of a hat.

With a body like this, it made sense.

I had no means to measure figures or anything to compare against, so I couldn’t tell what was considered normal, but Rudan was definitely a hand’s span shorter than me.

His face was handsome enough that if it were modern times, he’d be an idol, and when he blinked, his long, thick eyelashes fluttered like a butterfly.

To put it bluntly and honestly, he was pretty enough to make you think, ‘Did you leave your male hormones in your mother’s womb?’

His skin was pale, his limbs were gaunt, and his eyes looked so fragile that they seemed like they’d well up with tears at the slightest touch.

If someone who looked like this approached me in reality, honestly, I think I’d feel a little, how should I put it, burdened.

Like I wouldn’t know how to handle them.

In other words, he wasn’t my type.

Being thin and light meant having no muscle.

And without muscle, naturally, your limbs lack strength, so you end up walking all wobbly.

Despite supposedly having a child inside him, Rudan’s stomach was flat—no, it was actually sunken in.

How many months along was the baby?

When does morning sickness usually start?

I had never had any plans for children, and I’d never been around a pregnant woman before, so I didn’t have a clue.

The only thing that was certain was:

“Ugh…… here it comes again.”

Just when I thought it had calmed down a bit, the dry heaving would start again, as if taunting me.

It was clearly an abandoned castle that had been left to rot for a long time.

Setting aside food, it was unclear whether I could even find clean drinking water nearby.

At this rate, I wouldn’t even have the energy left to try going down the stairs.

Truth be told, I’d been holding back the blurriness creeping into my vision with sheer willpower for a while now.

Am I going to die like this?

As the question crossed my mind, my body tilted to one side.

Fortunately, the direction seemed to be toward the inside of the building.

Fainting.

There goes the pride of a strong top……

As I felt my vision flipping over, I thought blankly.

Isn’t this actually for the best?

I have no interest in fantasy worlds or whatever, and I don’t want to live in this frail, pathetic body anyway.

If I crack my head open on the stone floor, won’t I go back to reality?

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