Chapter 2 Part 2: A Delusion for the Sake of Delusion

“……Lord Rudan!”

The large man, upon spotting me, strode over with a face overcome with emotion.

He was in simpler attire than before—apparently having finished his work and been taking a rest.

After closing the distance to an almost overwhelming degree, his hands, which had been flailing in the air, came to rest on his own thighs.

It looked like he was restraining the urge to embrace or grab hold of me.

“I thought…… you would never seek me out again.”

“That was the plan.”

At my words, mixed half with intention and half with sincerity, the man’s face stiffened.

It was the reaction I’d expected.

I reached out my right hand and placed it on Gideon’s cheek.

“But everyone should be given at least one chance to make amends, don’t you think?”

Gideon, having eagerly taken the bait I’d cast to find an angle to use him, had his expression soften again.

The man placed his large, solid hand over mine, which was stroking his cheek.

“I am grateful for your magnanimity.”

A face with strong features.

A physique packed with muscle.

A man who exuded the atmosphere of a tamed beast—docile, yet not gentle.

Truth be told, if we hadn’t gotten entangled in this way, he was exactly my type—the kind I’d want to play with fire with.

Not that it mattered now.

I wasn’t some parasite, and I couldn’t go around poking at everything that looked attractive without regard for consequences.

“Enough.

Are you going to keep me standing here?”

“Ah.”

Only after I shook off his hand did Gideon seem to register the presence of the accompanying wizards, giving a slight bow to the Tower’s mages.

The two, having received the greeting, simultaneously bowed with elaborate gestures.

It was nice to see the hierarchy so clearly displayed.

Gideon’s gaze lingered for a while on the small boy, who was about half his height.

Feeling intimidated, El grabbed my sleeve and hid behind me.

“……The meeting room should be vacant.

I’ll escort you there.”

***

I had imagined a somewhat modern-looking meeting room, but the place we entered boasted a desolate landscape.

Maybe a bit better than the stone castle, but not by much.

The maps attached here and there, with red lines drawn across them, gave a rough idea of what this meeting room was used for.

The Tower’s mages, reading the room, waited outside the door.

Since they seemed uncertain about what to do with the child, I sat El on my lap.

Gideon looked less than pleased but didn’t explicitly demand the boy be sent out.

“I thought they were sent to keep an eye on me, but they’re giving us space.”

At my absent-minded mutter, Gideon tilted his head in puzzlement.

“It was likely for protection, not surveillance.

The capital is relatively wizard-friendly, but an Absorption-type wizard is especially vulnerable when alone.”

“Isn’t an Emission-type wizard just as helpless without magic?”

“That’s true, but…… if you have a partner, you can carry some surplus mana.”

Gideon pulled out a necklace that had been hidden under his clothes.

At the end of a leather cord hung a pendant about the size of a thumb joint.

“Like this, you can store it in a magic stone and use it.

This one’s useless now, though.”

Ah.

No wonder the Tower Lord used magic freely on his own.

There was a separate method.

“Why carry around something useless?

You could just replace it.”

“……Because it’s a gift from you.”

I’d unintentionally wounded him this time.

Unfortunate.

“More than anything, I’m not particularly specialized in spatial magic or the like, so being alone with you wouldn’t even make me a target worth guarding against.”

Before he even finished speaking, El tapped the table with his small, fern-like hand.

“I’m here too, so that makes three.”

“Right, I know.”

This kid was asserting himself quite clearly today.

I roughly patted his white head while gauging what to say to Gideon.

What approach would make him open up—how should I prod his heart to find out exactly how far he’d go for me?

It was an unpleasant memory to recall, but that would probably work best.

“As you know, I’m afraid of the Tower Lord.”

I muttered in a hesitant tone, lowering my gaze.

Feel sorry for me.

Sympathize with me.

Rudan’s fragile appearance would be highly effective at eliciting pity and provoking him.

“I’m afraid that something like…… last time might happen again.”

“Lord Rudan…….”

To cut to the chase, I’d judged that the priority was to escape Killian’s grasp—the leader of Imera—in order to make contact with Nieta.

But I couldn’t say that outright.

I needed to appear as if I was moving solely out of fear, with no other intentions.

After a moment of hesitation, Gideon gripped my hand tightly.

“If you so wish, I am prepared to run away with you at any time.”

What the hell is this bastard saying?

“……Don’t you have family in the capital?”

“You are more important to me than them.”

“What about the knight order?”

“More important to me than that paltry position.”

What use was a composed and courteous demeanor?

When I glanced up, Gideon had half-crazed eyes.

I had no idea what had made him like this.

“If you can’t catch both rabbits, it’s right to choose the more precious one.

I learned enough from this incident.

I don’t want to make the same mistake again.”

This could blow up in my face if I handled it wrong.

But if I timed it well, I could use him to my advantage.

Rather than a flat refusal, a hold—about that much should be fine.

“I’m sorry, Gideon.

I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“Not at all.

You are simply far too kind.”

Gideon seemed to interpret it as me being worried about his situation falling apart.

I couldn’t care less about that.

Whether a man I’d only met twice ended up ruined or not was none of my concern.

Well, if he wanted to delude himself, that was fortunate for me.

***

“That’s excessive.”

On the way back, mulling over the conversation, I couldn’t see any sense in Gideon’s feelings.

I understood they’d had mutual feelings for each other.

I also understood his blind devotion.

But his position aside, he had dozens of family members, not just one or two.

He’d throw them all away for Rudan?

With that personality?

“What is?”

The child asked back innocently.

I hadn’t expected him to understand, but I spoke out of frustration anyway.

“I don’t get how he could abandon his family of hundreds of years for someone he’s barely seen.”

“Hmm…….”

El walked along with a skipping gait as he answered.

“Wizards live a long time.

For humans, it’s an incomprehensibly long span.”

“Right.”

“Because of that, many things gradually become dulled.

Especially emotional fluctuations—they fade more and more.

That’s why older wizards give humans an uncanny feeling—it’s hard to read what they’re thinking.

The unknown always instills fear in the weak.”

What did that have to do with my question?

I gazed at the boy, puzzled by the seemingly irrelevant comment.

As if reading my thoughts, El smiled shyly.

“But the laws of the world like to keep balance.

So instead of everything becoming dull, one emotion becomes magnified.

Perhaps for that knight, it’s the desire to protect someone.”

At that moment, Killian’s red eyes, which had felt as emotionless as glass, came to mind.

I couldn’t accept it all immediately, but understanding it intellectually wasn’t difficult.

“So his obsessive protective instinct shifted from his family to me.”

“Exactly.

It’s just a guess, though.”

The information the boy had given me seemed like it would be a great help when facing powerful wizards.

I’d made a good choice picking him up.

Having an NPC around felt reassuring.

I patted his shoulder in thanks, and El puffed up triumphantly, telling me to ask anything else I was curious about.

Then what emotion was magnified in Killian?

The question suddenly occurred to me.

To preempt any disastrous situations from poking at the wrong spot, maybe I could find a weakness to exploit.

He was the oldest wizard and the Tower Lord.

Perhaps I could find a clue to returning to reality without even contacting Nieta.

Just then, an unfamiliar voice echoed in my head.

‘Young wizard, the era of upheaval that will pass in the blink of an eye holds no more weight in your long life than a single grain of sand.’

A buzzing, tinnitus-like noise mixed in and whirred.

“……Rudan?”

Someone rushed over and caught my collapsing body.

Suddenly, everything happening around me felt like someone else’s business.

It was someone else’s business—this was Rudan’s body after all.

Soon, a sensation like cold wind piercing my bones followed.

A biting chill that seemed ready to freeze my entire body.

At the same time, an indescribably deep despair settled over me—so intense I’d never felt anything like it in my life.

This isn’t my emotion.

I could tell instinctively.

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