Chapter 3 Part 5: The Last Sound of Sand

The basin was quite deep—deeper than it appeared from the outside, enough to wet the sleeve rolled up just above the elbow.

The water was cold, but not unbearable, and there were no floating particles or sediment, so it didn’t feel particularly off-putting.

The only thoughts that crossed my mind were that I’d ruined a perfectly good set of clothes, and that I’d need to wash my arm once it turned black from the water before going back.

“Oh…….”

But the other two people’s atmosphere had grown even more serious than before.

“It won’t purify.”

They seemed to have expected the water to turn clear when I put my hand in—but rather than clearing, it had actually grown darker than before.

The old man trembled, muttering in a voice filled with despair.

“……This may be a sign of war.”

War?

Abaddon seemed to think for a moment, then shook his head.

“No, that’s not it.

War is likely, but it has nothing to do with this.”

“Then has Secreta withdrawn her blessing?”

The ashen-faced priest turned his head toward me.

His eyes, which had been warm toward me moments ago, now swirled with hostile emotion, as if looking at someone who had committed a sin.

Feeling slightly wronged, I slowly withdrew my hand from the basin.

Just then—as if someone else’s hand were in the water I’d been casually dipping mine in—my hand was firmly grasped, and what I’d been pulling out was sucked back in.

“Ngh!”

Thump!

The moment my bare skin struck the floor hard, the auditory hallucinations began.

‘You must endure.’

‘You have the right…….’

‘It will all end.’

‘Fake!’

Multiple voices overlapped, with a somber chant mixed in.

Every word I heard was fragmenting in my mind.

Even though they were clearly in a language I understood, I couldn’t grasp their meaning properly.

‘Die!’

What I heard most clearly was a hysterical curse.

I remembered hearing on some TV program that schizophrenia symptoms were similar to this.

Even these thoughts, which still held some trace of rationality, scattered without a trace the moment they passed through my mind.

Along with a bizarre sensation, as if someone were squeezing my brain, my stomach churned so violently I felt like vomiting up all my insides.

The intense despair I’d experienced before when hearing Secreta’s voice settled over me.

“Krrrr…….”

There was no way to stop the disgusting sounds escaping from my throat.

Soon, what was beneath my hand vibrated violently.

With a tremor strong enough to rattle my bones, my vision, which had gone white, hazily returned.

What I’d thought was clean black water was now stained bright red.

And from it emanated a foul stench I’d never smelled before in my life.

“Ugh…….”

The moment I retched and convulsed—A violent noise burst forth.

With a sharp clang! the pedestal that had reached above my waist and the basin shattered at once.

How could metal break like that?

My body trembled at the sight my mind couldn’t comprehend.

“Hurk, ugh!”

I wanted to cover my mouth, but I couldn’t bring the hand that had touched that thing anywhere near my face.

“Calm down, Rudan.”

The man whispered lowly, supporting my reeling body from behind.

But even that felt like another stimulus adding to the confusion.

“Let go!”

“I’m sorry.

I was wrong, so…….”

Thump.

A strong impact struck the back of my neck.

“I’m apologizing in advance.”

I didn’t even have time to turn my head, but I could imagine his expression.

He was wearing a calm face, neither surprised nor flustered, spouting an insincere apology.

“You…… bastard…….”

My vision flipped sharply, and then—blackout.

***

The temple at night.

The scenery was no different from what I’d been looking at moments ago, just without sunlight—for a moment I thought I had simply fainted and woken up there.

But the sensation of floating in the air, and the sight of a man huddled against the altar sobbing, made me realize this was a dream—or more precisely, within Rudan’s memories.

“It hurts.”

The familiar clothes—plain attire that Killian would have loathed, with a dark-colored robe draped over it.

Rudan, his face wet with tears, poured out words as if confessing sins to someone.

“I didn’t want to become like this.

If this is how it’s going to be, then I’d rather…….”

It would be better to cry until his eyes were swollen.

The exposed amethyst eyes had no light in them.

Eyes that held no will to live, where it wouldn’t be strange if he walked out and made a wrong choice at any moment.

“You just need to endure a little longer.”

Just then, a woman’s voice came from beyond the altar.

“I even gave you an oracle, and you’re being this weak—what am I to do with you?”

My child, you will become a symbol of peace.

You will rise to a position no one can challenge, and you will enjoy glory that will never fade.

The voice, like the temptation of a cunning serpent, continued without pause.

Rudan waited with a resigned face for her words to stop.

“I never wanted to be a symbol of peace.”

“Rudan…….”

“I just wanted to live an ordinary life.

To love ordinarily, to start an ordinary family, to be among ordinary people…… just to live peacefully and happily.”

“That would be throwing away your worth.”

Secreta.

The god’s favored one called the god’s name.

“What meaning is there in the glory I’ve gained while being betrayed in love and used as someone’s plaything?”

He wanted to go back to when he had nothing, when he was nothing.

Saying that, Rudan smiled bitterly.

‘Young wizard, the era of upheaval that will pass in the blink of an eye holds no more weight in your long life than a single grain of sand.’

The god, who could not sympathize with his words at all, placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s just a fleeting moment.

Think of it as a trial I give you…….”

Their conversation held no value whatsoever.

“Secreta, please only give such trials to those who say they can endure them.”

The wizard declared he would turn his back on the god.

“I can no longer endure.”

At the words hinting at death, the god paced around him like a child rejected by a close friend.

What to do.

This won’t do.

At the clumsy muttering, Rudan didn’t even blink.

“I can’t let you die.”

The god made up her mind.

“I’ll find a way.”

She decided to do something insane.

***

“Wow…… f*ck…….”

“Rudan wakes up cursing too.”

My head was throbbing, which snapped me fully awake.

The overwhelming pain and noise that seemed like they’d leave trauma had disappeared without a trace.

Instead, Ezekiel, sitting by the bed, shoved something into my mouth without warning.

Clink.

Along with the feeling of metal hitting my teeth, something with an unpleasant taste flowed down my throat.

“What are you doing?”

“Feeding a carefully prepared medicine to a patient with mobility issues.”

“……Oh, thanks.”

Having heard that filial piety comment earlier, it oddly moved me.

“No, how many times have I cursed in front of you?”

“You held back a lot, though?

You just cursed with your eyes instead.”

He was so articulate and adorable it was infuriating.

If I weren’t this drained, I’d have smacked him.

Thoughts I couldn’t have had when he was in his child form bubbled up.

“I have a message from Abaddon.”

“I refuse.”

“You might want to hear it though?”

“Hah…….”

Even as he spoke, Ezekiel didn’t stop his hand holding the spoon.

Was he trying to keep feeding me medicine so I couldn’t answer?

“One: he says he truly didn’t expect things to turn out that way.

Not to misunderstand, because he didn’t do it on purpose.

He says he just wanted to let you rest because you seemed so exhausted, but he’s sorry for knocking you out.”

Well.

The “not on purpose” part was a bit suspicious, but if I’d been left in that state, I might have gone mad.

Knocking me out was a sensible decision.

“And two: Imera has sent a provocative message.

So…….”

“So?”

“Once you recover, regardless of Rudan’s wishes, he says he needs to receive magical power.”

He could just take it now, couldn’t he?

All he had to do was touch me.

“Ah, for your information, Abaddon has some special circumstances, so you can’t think of it as ordinary magical power charging.”

To put it simply— Ezekiel opened his mouth lightly.

“It means he’s suggesting you spend about three days with the bed never drying.”

“f*cking insane…….”

“Yeah, I figured you’d hate it.”

As if I didn’t already have enough on my mind, now he was adding more irritation.

Picking exactly the most annoying things to say was a talent in itself.

“I understand for now.”

“Shall I tell him that?”

“No, tell him to drop dead.”

“Hmm…… understood.”

Ezekiel answered vaguely and placed the empty bowl on the bedside table.

It felt like he wouldn’t deliver the message, and when asked later, he’d say he forgot.

I understood perfectly.

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