Chapter 2 Part 9: A Delusion for the Sake of Delusion

“Hah…….”

Whether it was Rudan himself or someone else showing me his past through dreams, one thing was certain.

‘Are they doing this on purpose to confuse me?’

The order clearly seemed malicious.

My assumption that Abaddon was the one who got Rudan pregnant had been shattered.

Well, not completely shattered—maybe about half?

He’d been hurt enough to cry like that, knowing his feelings would never be returned, so unless something was wrong with his head, would he willingly sleep with that person again?

Normally, he wouldn’t, he couldn’t.

But…… if this was the type of angst story where the plot exists for the sake of bed scenes.

‘Then it could have been forced.’

Even if I pinned Gideon as the culprit, it wouldn’t add up.

At least from what I’d seen, Rudan didn’t seem to have romantic feelings for Gideon, and the same went for Gideon.

It was closer to pity than love.

I’d just keep it as a possibility.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen people fall for each other after comforting one another—you never know with people.

“Rudan!”

Anyway, the person in question was right in front of me now, and I could probe all I wanted.

“It’s carrot soup!”

“……What soup?”

No, wait.

“It’s shepherd’s pie.”

Why do these two seem to not get along?

I’d thought “hideout” meant that rotting stone castle we’d stayed in before, but when I opened my eyes, I was in a cottage.

It was modest but seemed plenty enough for three or four people to live in.

I’d taken the only bed, so El and Gideon had to sleep on the floor with blankets.

I wondered why they didn’t just use magic to make more beds, but after watching them for a while, I think I figured out the reason.

“For soup, those carrot chunks are way too big.”

“Hnngh…….”

The two seemed to have developed some strange rivalry.

Gideon could make decent food even without magic, so I understood that, but I had no idea what had gotten into El to make him persist despite his poor knife skills.

They were both presenting their dishes as if seeking approval, so I took a spoonful of each to taste—and today’s verdict was a draw.

Both failed.

The pie used lamb, which made my stomach churn, and the soup didn’t even look like proper food, so it was disqualified.

“I told you not to use lamb.

See?

I was right.”

El, who had been losing consistently, provoked Gideon triumphantly.

Gideon raised one eyebrow as if he wasn’t worth engaging and turned his back.

And I began my move.

“Ugh…….”

Gideon, returning after clearing the dishes, found me struggling at just the right moment.

This wasn’t even acting—the pain was real, and he must have seen the cold sweat on my forehead.

Sure enough, Gideon turned pale at my groan and rushed over.

“Are you alright?”

“Ah…… yeah, just a little dizzy.”

I buried my face in his shoulder as he drew close, and I could feel his reaction through the contact.

His body went rigid from just this much touch.

What was interesting was:

‘He’s getting turned on?’

Well, I knew that getting an erection in certain situations wasn’t something you could control.

But getting aroused when a patient is showing weakness and pain?

Unless he was the host of some parasite that got hard at the slightest contact with a sexual target, that meant he had something different in his standards for arousal.

‘Love?’

There was no way it was such a soft emotion.

If Gideon truly loved Rudan, he should have noticed something was wrong when the weak, polite person he knew started cursing and speaking harshly.

This guy—his outward behavior was the opposite, but in essence, he was no better than Killian.

A pervert.

If anything, he might be worse because he believed himself to be good-natured.

After a moment, I lifted my forehead and adjusted my posture.

Gideon spoke with a worried expression.

“Shouldn’t we call a doctor after all?”

“I’m fine.”

When I refused firmly while staring at his flushed neck, Gideon didn’t press further and obediently nodded.

Well…… if he was going to be a pervert either way, an obedient pervert was more useful.

“I don’t see your necklace.

Did you throw it away?”

“No, it’s just that the gift from Lord Rudan is precious, so I didn’t want it to wear out…….”

“Wear it.

When it gets worn down enough to look unsightly, I’ll get you a new one.”

Talking about the future was the strongest shackle to bind emotions.

“Yes.”

He answered simply, smiling happily.

He’d be in the palm of my hand for a while.

Good enough to serve as insurance.

***

“Can Killian not find this place?”

As I asked while lying sideways, Gideon, who was feeding me frozen grapes, answered.

“No.

He knows I’m here.”

“……And he’s just letting it be?”

“Yes, as long as I don’t lie to him, he’s generally generous.”

Generally—meaning when he’s not in the mood, generosity doesn’t matter.

It seemed.

“I didn’t want to make the same mistake, so I took the liberty of informing him.

I apologize.”

“No, you did well.”

Gideon had reported to Killian on the day of the ball that my condition wasn’t good and he would care for me at his nearby residence.

Killian, being in an unusually good mood, had agreed without much protest.

“He said he’d seen something quite entertaining at the ball for the first time in a while.”

His taste was certainly unique.

“Oh, and he also mentioned he regretted not being able to dance with Lord Rudan…….”

You really didn’t need to pass that along.

Before my displeasure could show, El, who had been intensely focused on peeling fruit, suddenly popped his head up.

“I wanted to dance with Rudan too!”

“Oh, is that so.”

“Our outfits matched, so it would have been great!”

“Hmm.”

What would have been great?

I’d just have looked like an uncle playing with his little nephew.

“Don’t be disappointed.

I can’t dance anyway.”

“Then I’ll…….”

“I can teach you!”

Their voices overlapped.

I didn’t particularly want to learn, but considering their heights, their positions as teachers were obvious.

Well, whatever.

“If I feel like it.”

I answered while ruffling El’s hair, and the boy beamed happily.

He started chattering excitedly about all the things he’d do once Rudan got better—dancing, playing the piano, strolling through the market—none of which I’d ever promised.

“Do you know how to play the piano?”

“We’ll learn together from the beginning.”

“I’m more of a listener than a performer.”

“Huh?

No way!

We have to play duets together!”

When had he planned that far ahead?

I didn’t answer, not wanting to get dragged into a tiring argument with a child over something I’d rather not do.

“We also need to go to the academy…… Rudan, did you know?

They say there’s a huge fountain inside the academy!”

Gideon, who had been silent with a disapproving face, suddenly cut in.

“The academy?

Are you planning to go to the academy?”

At that moment, for some reason, sparks flew between El and Gideon.

“Yes.

Sometime soon.”

“Have you received permission from Lord Killian?”

“Not yet.

But he didn’t seem like he’d stop me if I wanted to go.”

“…….”

Looking far from pleased, Gideon grumbled before speaking in a slightly lowered voice.

“You must bring an escort.

At least four—no, six would be better.”

“Wouldn’t that be too cumbersome?

I was just going to look around briefly.”

“Then I’ll accompany you as your escort.”

“Are you going to neglect your knight order duties even more?”

“That’s…….”

Gideon had already been neglecting his work for days, using the excuse of caring for me while I was bedridden at his residence.

He was usually so well-regarded that everyone understood, but he himself knew that dragging this out any longer would be bad.

“It’s dangerous.

As you know, an Absorption-type wizard is an easy target for Emission-type wizards, since they can’t use magic on their own.”

“Come on.”

Unlike the heavy Gideon, El mocked him lightly and clung to my arm.

“Everyone knows Killian is keeping Rudan.

What fool would try to kidnap him out of greed?

That would be disqualifying as a wizard.”

He smiled and asked for my agreement—clearly provoking Gideon on purpose.

“And we don’t need an escort.

I’ll stay glued to Rudan’s side and never leave him.”

“You…….”

Gideon, who usually ignored whatever El said, seemed about to explode and raised his voice—but when his eyes met mine, he deflated as if doused with water.

Instead, he grabbed both my arms with his large, strong hands, trapping me.

Being held by brute force like this, unable to move, and forced to meet his gaze at such close range was hardly pleasant.

“Rudan, you must remember my words.”

He certainly had a talent for being ignored.

“I’ll handle it myself.

Now let go of my arms.”

Looks like I’d have to take only the kid.

Startled, Gideon released my arms and fidgeted like a scolded large-breed dog—but the sight didn’t stir any emotion in me.

Unfortunately.

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