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Join the ServerThe labyrinthine passages of the underground palace were illuminated by luminous moss clinging to the damp stone walls.
As Ye Xingchen’s fingertips formed a Qimen Dunjia hand seal, a faint green glow pulsed between his fingers, a necessary beacon, for without its guidance, any ordinary person would undoubtedly lose their way in this intricate maze.
He couldn’t help but recall the dread of being led astray by ‘Deplorable Maps’ in his previous life—the terrifying moment it navigated him to a cliff’s edge, or that ‘shortcut’ river path only passable by motorcycles.
If this underground palace were left to such shoddy navigation software, it would undoubtedly lead people straight into a Gate of Doom, effectively offering them up as sacrifices.
The Scenic Gate and the Obstructing Gate, both considered minor ill-omened gates, would still be manageable.
However, if the path led to the Death Gate, Injury Gate, or Terror Gate—three truly ominous directions—
Ye Xingchen, with his formidable strength, would naturally remain unharmed.
Yet, for Su Liyue and Mu Wanqing, who were currently chatting and laughing behind him, the outcome would be far less certain; the slightest misstep could lead to significant trouble for them.
The Open Gate, Life Gate, Rest Gate, and Harmony Gate are considered the four most auspicious among Qimen Dunjia’s nine gates.
“The Life Gate… this way,” Ye Xingchen murmured, his fingertip lightly tapping the symbol for the Life Gate.
A flicker of spiritual light then pointed towards the passage on the right.
Guided by the Qimen Dunjia formation manifested in his palm, Ye Xingchen naturally opted for the path of the Life Gate.
The Life Gate, governing vitality, life force, and great fortune, was the most suitable path for treasure hunting and secret exploration.
As for the Harmony Gate, though it resides in the center of the nine palaces and embodies the essence of both life and death, it remains uniquely unaffected by the rotation of the other eight gates.
It stands as a special entity within the divination array, akin to an emperor firmly seated in the central palace.
The sound of Su Liyue and Mu Wanqing’s laughter drifted from behind him, prompting Ye Xingchen to shake his head and chuckle softly.
If that girl, Mu Wanqing, were to realize she had almost been led by that deplorable… *cough*, by the Qimen Dunjia, straight into the Terror Gate, he wondered if she would still be able to laugh so happily.
While protecting them with his cultivation was certainly within his capabilities, encountering something truly ominous and terrifying them would be far from ideal.
After all, the Terror Gate is an Yin gate, frequently associated with horrifying and bizarre entities.
Anything encountered in that direction either possesses a monstrous appearance capable of shattering one’s courage or boasts a voice as deafening as a thunderclap over the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau.
Ye Xingchen couldn’t help but recall an experience from his previous life when he had mistakenly entered the Terror Gate, encountering a singing bronze figurine whose voice was so thunderous it could stun the bats clinging to the tomb ceiling.
Even more outlandish, it could perform the Hu Xuan dance, its bronze eyes rolling wildly as it spun, making it look exactly like a drunken dancer from the Western Regions.
Should they encounter the ‘Heavenly Hero Star Illuminating the Soaring Serpent’ formation again, it would truly be a scene ripped straight from a horror film.
The last time he encountered this configuration, a ghost that loved telling bad jokes unexpectedly appeared, clinging to people and refusing to dissipate until they had listened to its newly composed routines.
Over five hundred years had passed, yet even now, recalling that ghost’s terrible jokes still made his temples throb.
At that time, the entity floated mid-air, speaking in a chilling tone: “A penguin stripped off all its feathers and said to a polar bear, ‘I’m so cold!'”
As it spoke, the ghost suddenly spun in a circle, pausing for a dramatic breath before continuing.
“The polar bear, mimicking the penguin, also stripped off all its fur and said to the penguin, ‘It truly is so cold!'”
At that moment, his mouth twitched, and he inwardly complained furiously: ‘You two stripped all your fur off—of course you’d be cold!’
The most infuriating part was that the ghost then asked with an expectant look, “It’s so funny, why aren’t you laughing?”
Ye Xingchen’s hand, gripping his sword, was trembling.
‘Where in the heavens was the punchline?!’ he fumed inwardly, until the ghost, frustrated by his lack of comprehension, finally prompted him:
“Fool! Penguins live in the South Pole, polar bears live in the North Pole—how could they have met?”
Ye Xingchen nearly fainted from exasperation on the spot.
If the Yaochi Saintess hadn’t been laughing so hard beside him, he feared he would have gained another ghostly companion on that journey.
Reflecting on it then, he concluded that these ghosts of the cultivation world must have secluded themselves in dark places for too long, their minds no longer sharp.
After all, polar bears and penguins could clearly meet in Earth’s aquariums!
Though whether they’d pluck each other’s fur was another matter entirely.
He only learned later, thanks to the Yaochi Saintess’s explanation, that the ghosts of the cultivation world, having resided in ancient tombs for centuries, were comparable to shut-ins who rarely ventured outdoors, their geographical knowledge still rooted in ancient times.
Nowadays, any penguin working at an aquarium could easily give them a biology lesson.
The most infuriating part was that the Yaochi Saintess had laughed at him for not understanding the joke, even insisting that the ghost possessed a natural talent for comedy.
If she hadn’t stopped him, Ye Xingchen truly would have dragged it to an aquarium on Earth to properly ‘get’ its sense of humor.
The adventure continues! If you loved this chapter, Not Me, The Fans is a must-read. Click here to start!
Read : Not Me, The Fans
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