Chapter 33: A Confession Under the City Lights

The evening was running later than anticipated. Had I merely changed clothes and left, there would have been no reason for such a delay, but I found myself primped and pampered by an overly enthusiastic staff. Consequently, I ended up looking far too extravagant for a simple dinner. Anyone would have assumed I was heading out on a date.

‘This is taking too long,’ I thought.

Even though rush hour was over, the traffic remained relentlessly congested. I wondered how many minutes we had been at a standstill, nervously fidgeting with my phone.

“The traffic is absolutely horrendous,” my manager muttered to himself, tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. The road had become an impenetrable parking lot, making me wonder if it would be faster to simply get out and walk.

While we hadn’t set a specific meeting time, Seon Woo-jung had already arrived at the restaurant over thirty minutes ago. As I nervously bounced my leg, the manager glanced back at me and inquired.

“Did you text Seon Woo-jung that we’re running late?”

“Yes, I did, but…”

Seon Woo-jung had assured me it was fine, yet I couldn’t help but fret over the delay. I desperately hoped the traffic would clear, resolving that I would treat him to dinner no matter what.

As if my clumsy prayers had been answered, the cars slowly began to move, eventually leading to a wide-open road. Thanks to this, we arrived at the restaurant sooner than expected.

“Joon-hee, do well!”

“Oppa! Good luck!”

Before I could close the door, my manager and coordinator chorused, as if they had rehearsed it. I wasn’t entirely sure what they expected me to “do well,” but I accepted their enthusiastic cheers regardless.

‘I’m so late,’ I thought.

Upon entering the restaurant and stating Seon Woo-jung’s name, a staff member led the way toward the private rooms. As I followed them down a long, deep corridor, a peculiar sense of nervousness began to settle over me.

It was just dinner with a close junior colleague, after all.

‘It’s because I’m so overdressed,’ I mused. My reflection in the window, showcasing the city’s night view, confirmed that I was indeed excessively adorned. There wasn’t a single part of me, from head to toe, that hadn’t been meticulously styled.

Feeling self-conscious, I considered wiping off my lip gloss. However, I noticed the staff member had already stopped, waiting for me at the door.

“You may go in now.”

“Ah, yes.”

Stepping through the door the staff member held open, my eyes immediately met Seon Woo-jung’s, who seemed to have been watching the entrance the entire time. He rose abruptly and strode purposefully towards me.

“Sunbaenim.”

Seon Woo-jung looked completely different from when I had last seen him on set. It was only upon seeing his clearly meticulous appearance that I understood what he meant by saying he’d stopped by home first.

He was already striking, but seeing him so meticulously styled from head to toe made a distinct difference. Even so, his face remained, undeniably, the most luminous feature.

“I’m so sorry. The traffic was terrible…”

“It’s fine. I only just arrived myself.”

Seon Woo-jung was clearly lying, perhaps to alleviate any burden on me. He had been waiting for over an hour.

Guilt rendered me speechless. As I struggled to meet his gaze, he leaned closer and whispered softly.

“You look so beautiful tonight.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Sunbaenim, I mean. You’re always beautiful, but you’re even more so today.”

Seeing my wide, surprised eyes at his sudden compliment, he offered a gentle smile. Then, suggesting we sit, he took my hand.

He seated me first, then settled into the chair opposite. With our eye levels now aligned, I could see his face more clearly than before.

‘Who is he calling beautiful?’ I wondered, a wry thought crossing my mind.

“Sunbaenim, is there anything you’d like to eat?”

“Not particularly…”

“Then, may I order for us? I come here often, so I know the menu well.”

His casual mention of frequent visits bothered me slightly, though I couldn’t pinpoint why. After I nodded, Seon Woo-jung immediately called a staff member over.

Watching him order with such familiarity, the vague sense of unease within me sharpened. This place, I distinctly recalled, was renowned as a private spot for dates.

“You must be very hungry, right?”

Seon Woo-jung asked, smiling sweetly after placing the order. Upon seeing his brazen face, I nearly blurted out something impulsive, but fortunately, I managed to restrain myself.

‘Why should I care?’ I thought. ‘What exactly is my relationship with Seon Woo-jung?’

“The food will be out shortly. Last time I came, I didn’t have to wait very long.”

True to Seon Woo-jung’s word, the dishes arrived quickly. The table was laden with food that looked truly delicious, just as he’d said, yet an odd lack of appetite had settled over me.

Despite this, since I was here for dinner, I forced myself to eat a little, though I could barely taste anything. My mind was too preoccupied with how utterly familiar Seon Woo-jung seemed with this place.

I wanted to ask, yet I didn’t. What right did I have to meddle in Seon Woo-jung’s private life? Even if, hypothetically, he frequented this place with a different companion every time, what business was it of mine?

‘Just stop thinking about it,’ I told myself.

“Seon Woo-jung.”

My resolution shattered as my lips moved before I could stop them. Seon Woo-jung, who had just been about to eat a bite-sized piece of steak, paused and looked at me.

“You said you came here often, right?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

Seon Woo-jung completely stopped eating, his full attention on me. His guileless, smiling face made me question if my suspicions were truly valid, yet I disliked the idea of continuing dinner with this lingering unease even more.

“Who… did you come with?”

“My mother.”

The answer to my carefully posed question completely eradicated my suspicions. I was momentarily flustered by the unexpected mention of ‘mother,’ but a burst of laughter soon escaped me.

I felt incredibly foolish.

“I’m sorry, I just had a funny thought—”

As I tried to suppress my laughter and salvage the awkward atmosphere, a deep shadow fell over me. I hadn’t even heard him move, yet Seon Woo-jung was suddenly standing right before me.

When I looked up, his deep eyes held only my reflection. The proximity was such that I could even clearly discern the faint trembling of his eyelashes.

Slowly, Seon Woo-jung knelt on one knee, placing a hand on my thigh. As my gaze followed his lowered eye level, he parted his tightly sealed lips.

“I like you, Sunbaenim.”

It was a confession I had anticipated, yet hearing it directly made my heart pound erratically. Seeing my wavering, uncertain gaze, Seon Woo-jung continued speaking without pause.

“Sunbaenim, you said we should pretend nothing happened, but the truth is, I don’t want to. That kiss that day—it might have been a mistake for you, but it wasn’t for me. I’ve wanted to do that with you continuously. So, even though I knew it was cowardly, I kissed you. I couldn’t help myself.”

Seon Woo-jung had been pretending all this time, acting as if nothing was amiss. In truth, it was something I could have realized with just a little thought. He couldn’t possibly have been okay.

How many wounds had he quietly endured because of my insensitivity?

“I know. I know you don’t feel the same way about me, Sunbaenim. I know all of it, but it doesn’t matter. I like you too much. I truly like you a great deal. I’m so confident I can do well. I’m confident I can be a kinder partner than anyone else, so…”

His feelings, pouring out like a storm, were far more intense than I had ever anticipated. So much so that they made me hesitate, even though my answer was already decided.

“Can’t you… accept me?”

His voice, trembling as much as his shoulders, was filled with profound anxiety. The fear that I wouldn’t accept him, the fear that this could be the end of everything between us.

‘Still, I can’t,’ I concluded.

Seon Woo-jung was currently an actor at the peak of his popularity. Becoming his lover would mean facing innumerable consequences.

From malicious comments to potentially even direct threats, his fans would never forgive anyone who dared to “touch” their beloved actor.

After this drama concluded, I could finally break free from being a perpetual supporting actor and soar into lead roles. This was an opportunity hard-won, and I couldn’t possibly throw it all away for a mere scandal.

I had far too much to lose right now.

“…I’m sorry.”

****

Following my cautious refusal, we fell into a profound silence.

The cooled meat lay untouched, less than half-eaten. Just as before, the table was laden with food, yet neither Seon Woo-jung nor I made any move to touch it.

I deliberately avoided looking at Seon Woo-jung. I pretended to be captivated by the nightscape outside the window, maintaining that facade. He, in turn, did not press me to speak.

“Shall we go?”

The moment Seon Woo-jung spoke, we both rose from our seats simultaneously. Though I insisted I could go home alone, he gently but firmly held my arm, determined to drive me back.

I couldn’t bring myself to say that I didn’t want to be with him due to the awkwardness. I feared that if I refused even his offer to drive me home, Seon Woo-jung might truly break down and cry.

“The bill…”

“It’s already been taken care of.”

The cashier smiled sweetly, looking at Seon Woo-jung. I had intended to pay tonight, but it seemed he had anticipated this and settled the bill in advance.

“Thank you.”

“It was nothing.”

“Next time—”

I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. How our relationship would unfold after tonight was something even I couldn’t predict, making it impossible to promise a “next time.”

We would inevitably continue to meet until the drama filming concluded, whether we liked it or not, but this would likely be our last private dinner together.

With our conversation completely severed, we walked to the parking lot and got into Seon Woo-jung’s car. I fixed my gaze out the window, deliberately ignoring the occasional glances I felt directed my way.

“We’ve arrived.”

With no traffic, the drive to my house was quick. I unbuckled my seatbelt, preparing to exit the car, when my wrist was suddenly grasped. I turned to look and saw Seon Woo-jung struggling to smooth his contorted expression.

“I’m sorry about today.”

He quietly added, “For putting you in a difficult spot,” but I bit back my urge to tell him it wasn’t that. A heavy silence settled between us, and I gently twisted my hand. The warmth of his touch easily receded.

“I’ll see you at the next shoot.”

Seon Woo-jung didn’t try to hold me back any longer.