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Join the ServerThe room he was staying in, 1001, was at the very end of the corridor. Perhaps from the tension, I clasped my slightly cramping stomach and walked slowly.
Upon reaching the door, I found myself unable to enter immediately. Clutching the card key, I steadied my breath, consciously schooling my expression into one of calm indifference.
‘I’ll just say what needs to be said and then leave.’
My bags were already packed, ready for my departure at any moment. All I needed to do was tell him it was over, return, and then leave.
When he eventually returned, he could begin anew in a place devoid of my presence. Perhaps Jung Hee-soo would swiftly claim that vacant spot.
I pressed the card key against the door lock, and with a soft ‘ddi-rik,’ the mechanism disengaged. Turning the doorknob, a narrow gap slowly appeared.
“Han Jung-woo…?”
The interior was shrouded in darkness, the lights having been turned off. As soon as I pushed the door fully open and stepped inside, I fumbled along the wall for the light switch.
With a sudden ‘bban-jjak,’ the lights flickered on, revealing a spacious living room.
“What is all this…”
Alcohol bottles littered the floor everywhere, not just around the sofa. There was a truly diverse array of drinks: beer, soju, and even wine.
I nudged aside some scattered trash with my foot, searching for him amidst the chaotic mess.
My initial search led me to the bedroom, but only a crumpled duvet lay there; no one was present. Not a trace of warmth could be felt.
‘Where could he have gone?’
The sofa only held spilled wine, with no sign of him. There was nowhere else he could possibly be. Just as I considered calling him, the distinct sound of running water reached my ears from somewhere.
‘No way…’
Following the sound, I found myself in front of the bathroom inside the room. Upon opening the door, I saw him sprawled beneath a cascade of water, like a waterfall.
He was leaning against the wall, still fully clothed, fast asleep. His face was deathly pale, as if he were already gone.
“Han Jung-woo!”
Startled, I rushed to his side. I embraced his limp body, only to find him as cold as ice. Quickly, I turned off the shower and pressed my ear to his soaking wet chest.
Fortunately, he was still breathing.
“Come to your senses.”
Even after gently slapping his cheeks, he remained unresponsive. Leaving him here would only cause his body temperature to drop further, yet I lacked the strength to move him.
I considered contacting the assistant who was waiting for me downstairs. However, my phone’s contact list contained only Han Jung-woo’s number.
In my shock, my mind was too muddled to even consider going to find help myself.
As I simply held him, anxiously wasting time, a wet hand lightly touched my cheek. I lowered my gaze to find him, somehow awakened, smiling up at me.
“Is this a dream…?”
His eyes, slightly unfocused, whispered the words to himself. It seemed he genuinely believed he was still dreaming.
“Why are you like this?”
“I was just trying to wash…”
“Without even taking off your clothes?”
He glanced down at his clothes, completely soaked and clinging to his skin, and let out a small sigh. Clearly, he hadn’t considered that detail.
It must have been the alcohol clouding his judgment. The pungent smell of liquor that wafted from him with every word was enough to make me frown.
“Weren’t you someone who disliked alcohol?”
“Yes, I dislike it.”
“Then why would someone like you—”
“Because Hyung was always drunk.”
(Silence.)
“I… I hate seeing Hyung drunk…”
His voice trailed off as he stumbled to his feet. Belatedly collecting myself, I supported his unsteady form and led him out of the bathroom.
After laying him on the bed, I turned to survey the floor, which was still a complete mess. The duvet, too, was becoming steadily damp as his wet clothes continued to soak into it.
“Change your clothes.”
I shook him awake just as he was about to drift back to sleep. He groaned, fumbling to remove his clothes, but the water-logged fabric clung stubbornly to his skin, making it difficult.
“Move your hands.”
I pushed his errant hands away and unbuttoned his shirt for him. I had hoped he would manage the rest himself, but he remained utterly still.
Wondering if he had fallen asleep again, I saw him watching me intently, his lips pressed together. When I met his gaze, questioning if I needed to undress him further, he let out a soft chuckle and took my hand.
“This is a dream, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s a dream.”
In his current state, any meaningful conversation today was entirely out of the question. Reluctantly, I decided to postpone our talk and prioritize getting him to sleep. I couldn’t continue to waste time here.
“I often dream of Hyung.”
He kept using the honorific ‘Hyung’. When sober, he would offer various excuses about pride or other matters to avoid it, but now, intoxicated, it seemed perfectly acceptable to him.
“Perhaps because I so desperately wished to see Hyung, he often appears in my dreams.”
So, was that why he appeared again today? He chuckled, muttering to himself. Witnessing that strangely sorrowful smile, I found myself unable to speak, utterly speechless.
“I wanted to see you again. Even if Hyung despises me, I still wanted to meet you once more.”
‘Was he referring to the time I left without a word?’ Jae-hyun had mentioned that Han Jung-woo struggled considerably after I departed, but I hadn’t believed it then. I simply dismissed it as a fleeting whim.
If our ties had been severed back then, the pain would have faded by now, and I would be on the cusp of a new beginning. Then, I wouldn’t have to face such a difficult farewell.
“Hyung, please look at me.”
As he wished, I lifted my gaze to meet his eyes. He slowly sat up, cupping my cheeks with both hands. His cool touch sent a slight shiver down my shoulders.
“Hyung, please, just look at me.”
“I am looking at you.”
Even though I was already looking, he continued to plead for my attention. Unsure how else he wanted me to look, I simply stared blankly. It was then that he finally seemed satisfied, offering a strained smile before pulling me into a hug.
“I like you.”
(Silence.)
“I truly, truly like you.”
His heartfelt confession made my heart pound, yet it was equally devastating. I had come to tell him goodbye, but he still desperately wanted to hold onto me.
He was drunk, mistaking all of this for a dream, yet he still pleaded to grasp at a mirage like me. It was both pitiful and endearing, and for that, I resented him.
“Han Jung-woo.”
As I gently patted his trembling back, he slowly pulled away. His nose was flushed red, and his eyes were watery, as if he had been crying. Seeing such an uncharacteristic display, a faint laugh escaped me.
“Let’s end things here.”
I had intended to tell him once he sobered up and regained his senses. However, I knew I wouldn’t be able to be so resolute unless it was now. I preferred to speak of our farewell while he still believed this was a dream, then vanish like a mirage.
Just as he said, the time we spent together had merely been a happy dream. A dream where I knew I would eventually return to reality. It was simply time to wake up.
“End what?”
“Han Jung-woo and I, we are not meant to be.”
“Why are Hyung and I not meant to be?”
“You might not know this, Han Jung-woo, but—”
Despite steeling myself, my throat constricted as I prepared to speak the truth. I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them again, consciously resetting my expression to one of calm indifference before continuing.
“Your destined partner, Han Jung-woo, is not me, but Jung Hee-soo.”
(Silence.)
“You will come to love Jung Hee-soo.”
I spoke the words, and I was wounded by them myself. Yet, I painstakingly hid my pain. After all, it was a predetermined fate, and I had simply failed to defy it.
“So, let’s just end things between us and—”
“Why? Because Jung Hee-soo and I are destined?”
He finished my sentence for me, a twisted smile playing on his lips. As I tried to avoid his now cold gaze, he stepped closer and gripped my arm. It didn’t hurt, but I found myself unable to pull away.
“Let me reiterate: Jung Hee-soo and I are nothing to each other. Nor will we ever be.”
“But that’s—”
“That damn destiny! Stop talking about destiny!”
He roared, his voice echoing. I flinched, my shoulders hunching in surprise, as he spat out a low curse. His face beginning to contort, he finally dropped his gaze and released my arm.
“Let’s stop now.”
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