Chapter 84: The Unspoken Truth

The vibration echoing through the car felt as if it were mocking me, a foolish soul lost in a dream far beyond my station.

Perhaps it would be better to simply ask. To demand when he started contacting Jung Hee-soo, and why he had kept it hidden from me.

‘By what right could I even ask?’

The question, which had risen to the very tip of my tongue, swiftly sank back down. I had known all along, hadn’t I? Known that fate was predetermined, and that I was utterly powerless to defy it.

Though the call ended swiftly, its lingering shadow persisted. The overwhelming warmth that had filled my heart just moments prior now turned chillingly cold.

I simply felt like a fool for ever considering remaining by his side. To have melted under his capricious kindness, to have almost rescinded my resolve to leave, made me feel utterly idiotic.

“Yoo Seo-jin?”

When the silence stretched, he finally called out my name. Swiftly composing my expression, I dismissed the matter, assuring him it was nothing significant.

He appeared to have a multitude of questions for me, yet his focus remained fixed on the road, compelled by the necessity of driving.

The conversation, abruptly severed, never resumed, even as we reached home. Though Han Jung-woo’s gaze occasionally drifted to me, I kept my eyes tightly shut, feigning sleep.

As moments passed, the car gradually decelerated. Soon, it came to a complete stop, and he unfastened his seatbelt before stepping out.

A moment later, the passenger door swung open, and he reached in, intending to lift me, still feigning sleep, and carry me.

“I… I can walk.”

Pretending to have just woken, I gently pushed him away as he drew near. He paused, then recoiled slightly, his gaze fixed on my now-clear eyes.

As I exited the car, he closed the door for me. He then followed, walking alongside me as I headed towards the house.

“Let’s walk together.”

He naturally took my hand, offering a charming smile. Yet, I made no effort to conceal my discomfort, gently pushing his hand away.

“…Why are you suddenly like this?”

Noticing the sudden shift in my demeanor, he inquired. When I attempted to walk away without a word, he caught my arm, compelling me to stop.

“I’m tired. Let’s talk later.”

“When is ‘later’?”

He pressed for a precise time. However, I had no desire to engage in further conversation, so I offered no reply.

When I averted my gaze, he let out a hollow, humorless laugh. Then, he finally released my arm.

“What was it you were trying to say earlier?”

I had almost uttered something foolish, something about wanting to remain here forever, completely forgetting that one eventually awakens from a dream.

“…It was nothing at all.”

“A lie.”

A surge of anger welled within me at his swift rebuttal. Yet, I quickly suppressed it, turning to leave without a single word.

He did not follow me. As I glanced back before opening the front door, he remained standing exactly where I had left him.

Without a word, without him even asking when I would return, I stepped inside. The door closed, and he vanished from my sight.

****

From the following day, the numerous baby items he had impulsively purchased at the department store began arriving, one after another.

Though he was likely filling the room in the hope that I would stay, I found myself watching the steadily accumulating items, and in turn, began counting the days until my departure.

My extended vacation meant I was still bound to his presence all day, yet our conversations had undeniably dwindled.

Even as I sensed the growing chill between us, he continued to treat me as he always had: with unwavering kindness and warmth.

Each time I met his eyes, which struggled to conceal a burgeoning anxiety, my resolve wavered. Yet, I would instantly recall Jung Hee-soo’s name, the one I had seen that day.

Reflecting on their relationship, still nascent but destined to deepen, I tried to systematically disentangle the feelings I had given to him.

It was far from easy, however.

“Shall we go to the beach?”

He asked this while we sat facing each other during our meal. I, who had been idly counting grains of rice in my bowl with my chopsticks, simply shook my head. I had no desire to go anywhere at all.

“Then perhaps somewhere nearby—”

“I want to rest.”

Swallowing his truncated words, he resumed his meal. In the heavy silence, I rose from the table first, leaving my rice bowl barely half-empty.

“Why aren’t you eating more…?”

“I’ve lost my appetite. Han Jung-woo, please take your time.”

Feigning concern for him, I left him at the dining table and ascended to the second floor alone. As I reached for the doorknob to open the closed door, my vision suddenly blurred.

Believing dust had entered my eyes, I wiped them, only to find moisture. It appeared I had been crying without even realizing it.

“Ah…”

Once unleashed, the tears streamed down, uncontrollably. As I stood by the door, attempting to compose my tear-streaked face, I sensed a presence behind me.

He had, it seemed, finished his meal and followed me up to the second floor.

“Yoo Seo-jin?”

Seeing me in tears, he rushed to my side. He pulled me into his embrace, gently patting my trembling back, utterly unaware of the reason for my sorrow.

Perhaps his comforting presence unleashed a torrent of sorrow I hadn’t even recognized within myself, for I leaned into him, sobbing uncontrollably.

“D-don’t cry. It’s all my fault.”

Without understanding the cause of my tears, he apologized, claiming it was all his fault. This large man, simply because I was crying, stood trembling visibly.

****

After a considerable time, I finally calmed, retreating to hide beneath the blankets. While a degree of embarrassment lingered, my overriding desire was to avoid any conversation, particularly the inevitable question of why I had wept.

Meanwhile, he returned from the kitchen with warm milk, chuckling softly at the sight of the rounded lump beneath the blankets. From within its confines, I squeezed my eyes shut, determined to continue feigning sleep.

“Worn out from crying, are we? Already asleep.”

Han Jung-woo, muttering a monologue that was clearly audible, set the mug down on the bedside table and then climbed onto the bed.

Lying beside me, he gently placed a hand on the blanket. Then, he began to slowly pat it, as if lulling a child to sleep.

“Yoo Seo-jin, you won’t hear this, being asleep, but I’m just going to talk to myself for a bit.”

It felt as though my pretense of sleep had been exposed, yet I brazenly maintained it. He ceased his gentle patting, then pulled me closer, blanket and all, and let out a profound sigh.

“Until recently, it felt as though I was living a blissful dream, but lately, I’ve been consumed by anxiety. I fear you’ll simply leave me, Yoo Seo-jin, that you’ll walk away without a backward glance… Time relentlessly ticks on, yet I still haven’t discovered a way to keep you. I don’t want to let you go, but mere feelings aren’t enough, are they?”

His faintly trembling voice soon became utterly choked. Was he crying, I wondered, holding his breath as he leaned against me? I yearned to look, yet simultaneously dreaded it.

‘I don’t want to weaken.’

I squeezed my eyes even tighter, desperately wishing I could simply fall asleep. I longed for his voice to become utterly inaudible, for my heart to remain unshaken.

“I love you.”

“……”

“Yoo Seo-jin, I love you very much.”

My heart shattered at his heartfelt confession. I hated him for whispering such profound love to me, only to secretly exchange messages with Jung Hee-soo behind my back. Yet, despite that, I still found him utterly endearing.

Even if I yearned to sort out my feelings, I found myself utterly incapable. Had I possessed the strength to decisively sever ties, I would have already left him without a second glance.

But I was such a foolish person; even knowing I was destined for pain, I still desperately wanted to cling to him.

I longed to tell him to love only me, to remain by my side forever. This was my genuine desire.

When I threw off the blanket that enveloped me, a startled Han Jung-woo recoiled. Thankfully, he hadn’t cried, or at least his face appeared composed, though his eyes were a little red.

“I’ll ask just one thing, so please tell me honestly.”

“What is it?”

Without even knowing what I intended to ask, he nodded, agreeing to hear me out. Gazing into his eyes, which seemed to reflect only me, I finally voiced the question I had swallowed countless times.

“You know Jung Hee-soo, don’t you?”

“…Who is that?”

His expression remained composed, yet the slight hesitation in his reply betrayed the truth. He knew Jung Hee-soo, and still he was lying to me.

“Are you truly unaware?”

Despite everything, I, foolish as I was, tried to give him another chance. If he would just admit now that he knew Jung Hee-soo, we could continue the conversation from there.

Perhaps their connection, which began with a chance encounter, had progressed to exchanging contact information. But it couldn’t be a deep relationship yet, so it could still be stopped.

If his whispered declaration of love was sincere, if he was confident it wouldn’t change in the future, then I wanted to stay by his side, no matter how difficult.

So please—

“I do not know anyone named Jung Hee-soo.”

My hopes crumbled to dust.

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