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Chapter 117: A Reckoning of Desire

After that day, he boldly abandoned the bedroom Seo-woo had claimed for herself. Instead, he began to roam through every corner of the house. Whatever room it was, once the child had fallen asleep, he would lead me out, pressing his body against mine in the study, the guest room, or even the kitchen.

“Hnngh.”

He settled me onto the island counter, then burrowed his head beneath my clothes. There, he once again licked at my chest, which he had tormented relentlessly throughout the previous night.

As I clutched at the fabric that bulged over my chest, he bared his teeth, gently gnawing at the prominent peak. The intense sensation made my hips buck uncontrollably.

“You like it here, don’t you, Hyung?”

“Hnngh.”

“What a shame. Milk even came out here once before.”

Regretfully, he withdrew his head from my clothes. This time, he sank his teeth deeply into my neck, which was already flushed with heat.

He gnawed gently, just enough to leave faint teeth marks, before pursing his lips and sucking strongly, repeating the motion over and over again.

“That’s in plain sight, you know.”

“So what? You hardly ever go out anyway, Hyung.”

Even without venturing outside, I encountered at least five different people here daily, ranging from Seo-woo’s sitter to the ladies who managed the household chores. The weather was too warm for a turtleneck, yet he persistently tried to leave marks in easily visible places.

It was as if he was desperate, unable to openly declare me as his property to others.

“Can’t we just go somewhere else? Anywhere but here?”

“Why not? We’ve never done it in our kitchen before, have we?”

It felt less like intimacy and more like some bizarre conquest. No matter how many times I insisted we shouldn’t do this where we ate, he simply ignored me.

Producing a condom he’d brought in advance, he spread my struggling legs wide apart. My lower body, completely exposed, was already slick and damp.

His condom-sheathed erection rubbed against my quivering opening. My plea to wait just a moment longer went utterly ignored as he forcefully pushed himself into my already yielding depths, a condition born from his relentless daily intrusions.

“Hnngh.”

“Seriously, even after all this time, why are you still so tight?”

He bit his lower lip, a look of satisfaction on his face, as he began to thrust his hips. As I swayed uncontrollably, the thought that I would be eating a meal here tomorrow, as if nothing had transpired, made my vision blur.

‘This is truly exhausting.’

Given his relentless daily advances, I had often wondered if I wouldn’t eventually succumb to illness. Sure enough, the very next day, I found myself sick.

The dining table against my back had felt unusually cold, and remaining in that position for so long had clearly brought on the body aches.

“I’m so sorry.”

He knelt before me as I lay in bed. I wanted to tell him such an extreme apology wasn’t necessary, but my throat was so swollen that I couldn’t utter a sound.

“I was so consumed by my own desires, I didn’t even realize you were struggling, Hyung.”

His precise self-reflection prompted me to regard him with an expression that plainly said, ‘Well, it’s a relief you finally understand.’ With his head bowed low, he apologized once more.

I considered letting him wallow in his self-reproach a little longer. However, it seemed he might dig a hole all the way to the Earth’s inner core at this rate, so I gently stroked his head, signaling him to stop.

“Your company—”

“Don’t speak. Your throat must be aching.”

No sooner had I opened my mouth than a fit of coughing seized me. He gently patted my heaving back, then brought a glass of water to my lips. Only after I had moistened my parched throat with the lukewarm liquid did the coughing finally subside.

“I took the day off. You’re ill, Hyung; how could I possibly focus on work?”

Though my coughing prevented me from completing the question, he instinctively understood and provided an answer. His excuses for taking leave were truly diverse.

“Daddy, are you very sick?”

The door creaked open slightly, and Seo-woo, peeking from beyond, called out to me. Although it wasn’t a cold, I wanted to err on the side of caution, so I prevented her from entering the room.

“Seo-woo wants to see Daddy—”

The child, who had been whimpering, finally erupted into loud sobs. I desperately wanted to reassure her that I was alright, but I knew a cough would escape the moment I parted my lips.

Stepping in for my ailing self, he approached Seo-woo, gently wiping her tear-streaked cheeks as he spoke.

“Daddy needs to rest properly to get better.”

“Hnngh, sniffle.”

“Just be patient a little longer. If Seo-woo falls ill too, both Daddies’ hearts will ache even more.”

He carried the sniffling child out of the room. Only after the door had clicked shut did I finally unleash the torrent of coughs I had been holding back.

Though the coughing eventually subsided, my ragged breaths remained harsh and wheezing. I straightened my hunched body and closed my eyes. My body was utterly exhausted, yet, strangely, sleep refused to claim me.

‘I really need to build up my stamina.’

Once I had fully recovered, I resolved to resume exercising. During my acting career, daily gym visits were a firm routine, but after transitioning into a civilian life, I had let myself go completely.

It was a blessing that I possessed a body type resistant to weight gain. Had that not been the case, I would surely be plump and rolling across the floor by now.

‘If only we had engaged in s*x in moderation from the very beginning.’

The simmering anger that had begun to rise quickly subsided. Indeed, what was the use of getting angry now? It was all in the past.

Though it had been overwhelming enough to send me to bed, I had to admit, I hadn’t truly disliked it. Perhaps simply reducing the frequency would suffice.

‘I need to set a firm boundary: twice a week, and absolutely no more.’

As I sought a reasonable compromise, he returned. I opened my eyes and gazed intently at him. He offered the answer I desired, informing me that Seo-woo was asleep.

“I think I’ll contact your mother and ask her to look after Seo-woo for a few days.”

“Why—”

“Don’t speak.”

Thanks to his immediate offer of water, my cough did not erupt again. He gently patted my wheezing back as he continued speaking.

“It seems to me that if we’re in the same house, Seo-woo will constantly want to come to you, Hyung.”

Considering his words, it did seem more sensible to leave Seo-woo with her maternal grandparents, at least until I had fully recovered.

As I nodded in agreement, he picked up his phone and rose, stating he would make a quick call.

‘Wait.’

A sudden urgency seized me, and I reached out, clutching at his clothes. He paused, turning to face me. “What is it?” he inquired.

I hesitated, grappling with how to articulate my thoughts. However, he, ever perceptive, seemed to grasp something and offered a soft smile.

“I’ll tell them you’re simply sick with a cold, Hyung.”

He patted me reassuringly, as if to banish any lingering worries. Later, while he was away at Seo-woo’s maternal grandparents’ house with her, the medication I had taken earlier slowly began to take effect, and I drifted into a profound sleep.

****

‘He’s asleep.’

Having returned after leaving Seo-woo at her maternal grandparents’ house, he checked on the sleeping Yoo Joon-hee.

Yoo Joon-hee’s wheezing breaths were rougher than before. His face, and indeed his entire body, was drenched in a cold sweat.

Shedding his outdoor clothes, he went to the bathroom and returned with a basin of lukewarm water and a towel.

He gently wiped Yoo Joon-hee’s face with the damp cloth. Then, the moment he lifted Yoo Joon-hee’s clothes to clean his body, he couldn’t help but freeze.

‘I’m no better than an animal.’

The skin beneath Yoo Joon-hee’s clothes was covered entirely with the marks he had left. He had bitten and sucked with such fervor that finding an unblemished patch of skin was nearly impossible.

It was no wonder Yoo Joon-hee couldn’t endure such intensity and had fallen ill. Letting out a deep sigh, he began to wipe Yoo Joon-hee’s body, his self-reflection reigniting.

He removed Yoo Joon-hee’s sweat-drenched clothes, dressed him in fresh ones, and then gently laid him on crisp, new sheets.

Perhaps it was merely his imagination, but Yoo Joon-hee’s breathing seemed noticeably smoother than before. The stark pallor of his face also appeared to have given way to a healthier flush.

‘I need to rest for a bit.’

Unable to bring himself to lie beside Yoo Joon-hee, he settled onto the floor, letting out a weary sigh. He wasn’t physically tired, but a heavy weight pressed on his heart. After all, Yoo Joon-hee’s illness was, undeniably, largely his own fault.

‘I must exercise more restraint from now on.’

He now understood that daily encounters were simply too much. Therefore, he decided to reduce the frequency to around three times a week. Anything less seemed challenging, but it was a matter to be negotiated once Yoo Joon-hee had fully recovered.

‘If it truly comes down to it, I can always take care of myself.’

While marital intimacy was undoubtedly an important aspect of their relationship, he felt utterly pathetic for entertaining such thoughts while Yoo Joon-hee lay ill beside him.

He let out a profound sigh, then propped one knee up and sharply bumped his forehead against it.

‘I’m not some green kid who just had his first experience.’

After five years of living together, one would expect him to have settled down by now. Yet, whenever he was with Yoo Joon-hee, he felt like a raw, inexperienced youth who had just shed his virginity.

He couldn’t recall being this extreme even during their very first time. Or perhaps he was? Given that his only memory was acting like a rutting dog whenever he saw Yoo Joon-hee, it seemed this behavior had always been his norm.

Far from diminishing with each passing day, his desires only intensified. What if Yoo Joon-hee grew tired of this side of him? He had once read that excessive sexual activity could even be grounds for divorce.

‘Absolutely not.’

He recoiled, swiftly dismissing even the mere possibility. If losing Yoo Joon-hee was a risk, even for such a reason, he would endure castration if it meant holding back.

What was mere lust compared to that? He was an adult, not some impulsive child. He was an adult fully capable of controlling his own desires.

‘I’ll prove it.’

Forget three times a week. From this day forward, he firmly resolved not to lay a single finger on Yoo Joon-hee until Yoo Joon-hee himself initiated it.

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