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Join the ServerWeeks had passed since the day I’d coincidentally met Jung Hee-soo. My daily life with Han Jung-woo had remained utterly unchanged. I rarely left the house unless absolutely necessary, while he would depart early for work each morning and return by afternoon.
In that time, my belly had grown noticeably, making it clear to anyone’s eye that I was pregnant. They even said we would soon discover the baby’s gender.
Everything seemed to flow peacefully, yet I was far from it. The vague unease that had lingered within me sharpened into a chilling clarity after meeting Jung Hee-soo, growing terrifyingly in its intensity.
Lying down to sleep, I was often engulfed by a dark shadow. As I thrashed, struggling for air, Han Jung-woo, awakened by my distress, would take my hand.
“Are you alright?”
Only then, hearing his voice laced with concern, did I realize I had escaped the nightmare. Cradled in his arms, I wept silently.
To his query of what was wrong, I would offer the lie that it was nothing at all.
As these nights continued, Han Jung-woo’s complexion steadily worsened. I suggested we use separate rooms, arguing that I kept waking him, but he wouldn’t even pretend to listen.
Instead, he increased his remote work hours, striving to stay by my side to support me through my struggles. All the while, he remained oblivious to the torment that consumed me with each gentle gesture.
‘It’s alright, it won’t be much longer.’
Whenever such thoughts arose, I would remind myself that our time together was nearing its end. Though my heart ached with a suffocating grip, after a moment, I would find myself able to breathe again.
That was how I endured.
****
“I need to go home.”
Han Jung-woo, who had paused, startled by my abrupt declaration, soon asked, “Where?”
When I reiterated, “Home,” he naturally replied, “Isn’t this your home?”
“No, this is Han Jung-woo’s home.”
A considerable amount of time had passed since we started living together, yet I had never once considered this place my own.
Yoo Seo-jin’s home was where Yoo Hae-jung and my mother were, and where Yoo Ju-jin was always ready to pick a fight the moment he saw them. Strictly speaking, even that place wasn’t truly my home.
“When do you plan to go?”
“Now.”
Upon hearing the unexpected news of my outing, Han Jung-woo made no effort to hide his displeasure. Noticing his crooked eyebrow, I turned away, stating that I needed to get ready.
I had just finished showering, so all I needed to do was get dressed. The problem was that my belly had grown quite large, and none of the clothes I had brought with me fit anymore.
Until now, I had simply endured with loose t-shirts since I’d only been at home. However, I didn’t want to appear disheveled when visiting my mother after such a long time.
‘Perhaps I should have bought some clothes.’
As I was absorbed in my rather serious dilemma within the dressing room, he approached me and handed over a piece of clothing I hadn’t seen before.
“Wear this. It’s for Yoo Seo-jin.”
Since I hadn’t bought it, it seemed he had taken the liberty of purchasing it himself. Normally, I wouldn’t have accepted it, but with no other options, I took the garment he offered.
‘Maternity wear.’
Perhaps because of the loose fit, my swollen belly seemed even more prominent. As I stood before the mirror, making a final check of my appearance, he, who had been standing still, also began to change his clothes.
“Then I’ll go too.”
“…Where to?”
“Yoo Seo-jin’s house.”
Though I shot him a look that clearly asked why he would go, he silently continued dressing. Finishing his preparations, he picked up a car key and then gestured with his chin for me to follow him out.
“No, Han Jung-woo, why—”
“I had to pay my respects at some point.”
I couldn’t fathom why he insisted on visiting Yoo Seo-jin’s parents, given that our connection would end the moment the child was born. Besides, I knew he wouldn’t hear anything pleasant even if he went.
Moreover, if Yoo Hae-jung were to mistake Han Jung-woo’s visit for something positive, I alone would have to bear the brunt of the aftermath. In many ways, Han Jung-woo’s visit was detrimental to me.
“Why would Han Jung-woo pay his respects to my parents?”
“Well, naturally—”
“We’re nothing to each other, are we?”
His eyes, which had lost their words, trembled visibly. For a moment, I wondered if I had been too harsh, but I quickly steeled my resolve.
This shouldn’t have happened in the first place. We were only meant to be together until the child was born, yet by spending time with him, I had inadvertently let my heart sway.
‘I need to set things right again.’
Brushing past his frozen form, I descended directly to the first floor without a backward glance. Normally, I would have taken the car he had prepared, but at that moment, I didn’t even want to ask for that.
‘Would a taxi even come this far?’
Han Jung-woo’s house was quite a distance from the city center, making it difficult to hail a taxi. Still, I thought one would eventually arrive if I kept trying, so I had opened an app and was entering my destination when a hand suddenly reached out and took my phone.
“Get in. I’ll drive you.”
“I can go al—”
“I don’t want to force you.”
Cutting me off, he turned his body toward the garage. Having only seen his gentle side recently, I had momentarily forgotten. Forgotten what Han Jung-woo’s true nature was like.
Resisting him here would only prolong the argument, so I reluctantly followed him and quietly got into the car. As I fastened my seatbelt, he started the engine and drove off.
“Let’s talk.”
I knew this would happen. Trapped in the moving car, there was no escape from a conversation with him.
Even if I pretended to be asleep, feigning exhaustion, it was obvious he would shake me awake. I had no choice but to do as he wished.
“Why are you pushing me away?”
“…I haven’t.”
“Ha, you haven’t?”
He scoffed at my slightly delayed reply, then slammed his hand onto the steering wheel. My shoulders instinctively tensed as the car momentarily jolted, but it soon resumed its smooth, peaceful drive as if nothing had happened.
“Yoo Seo-jin, we were good together until recently, weren’t we?”
I conceded.
Living in the same house, spending time together, sharing meals, and even sleeping in the same bed—we were undeniably growing closer. To the extent that I had even entertained the insane thought that perhaps it would be alright to continue like this with Han Jung-woo.
“Just tell me why you’re doing this, alright?”
“There’s no reason—”
“Don’t lie.”
Cutting off my words, he pulled the moving car over to the shoulder. Only then did he turn to face me, his eyes brimming with a barely suppressed fury.
“Do you hate me?”
…
“From my perspective, it doesn’t seem that way. Do you still despise me, Yoo Seo-jin?”
“That’s—”
I tried to give the predetermined answer, but my words caught in my throat, unable to continue. As the silence stretched, he, unable to bear the frustration, gripped my shoulders and asked.
“Is it so terrible to even breathe in the same space as me?”
These were words Han Jung-woo had once directed at Yoo Seo-jin. That plea for Yoo Seo-jin to ‘get out of his sight’ had now transformed into an earnest entreaty for my attention.
“If it’s not, then say so!”
Unable to restrain himself, he raised his voice, then, seeing my shoulders flinch, quickly apologized. Only then could I truly see him.
I took in his gaunt cheeks, the sharp lines etched by dark circles beneath his eyes, and the sorrowful gaze brimming with torment.
“Please, can’t you just look at me?”
Han Jung-woo’s voice, as he rested his weakly bowed head against me, trembled terribly. It seemed he was just as anxious as I was.
Just as he had grown gaunt from not eating properly beside me during my morning sickness, it seemed these emotions had also infected him, and he was suffering alongside me. He had merely been feigning a smile, not wanting to show me his struggles. I had no idea he was this vulnerable.
I thought Han Jung-woo was fine.
“If you’re hurting, say you’re hurting. If you’re struggling, say you’re struggling. I’m not some ignorant fool, so won’t you tell me this time? So I can hold onto you, Yoo Seo-jin.”
Seon Woo-jung had said similar things. He had held me as I grieved, having lost everything, pleading for me to speak to him, to let him hold onto me.
But I was so accustomed to swallowing my anxieties alone that I had intended to do the same this time. I had failed to do so with Seon Woo-jung, letting him go, so it was unlikely I would be any different now.
“Han Jung-woo, I—”
He lifted his head and urgently pressed his lips against mine. As if he knew what I was about to say, he held me there until my choked words could be swallowed back down.
“I don’t want to lose you anymore, Yoo Seo-jin.”
The adventure continues! If you loved this chapter, Looking For My Child's Father is a must-read. Click here to start!
Read : Looking For My Child's Father
