Chapter 219: Longing

In truth, Lin Yu knew in her heart that the outburst she had directed at Luo Shaotian earlier had been somewhat unfair.

No matter what, this guy had once nearly lost his life trying to save her.

But…

Damn it, things like menstruation were unreasonable to begin with!

Even if this body was a magical girl constructed from higher-dimensional spiritual energy, even if this so-called “monthly cycle” was merely spiritual energy overflowing…

The feeling of weakness, as though all strength had been drained away, and the loss of emotional control—those sensations were completely real.

Right now, she truly felt like a little girl throwing a tantrum, unable to stop herself from wanting to complain, wanting to vent.

“Phew… ha… ah…”

Holding the mug, Lin Yu gulped down the second cup of steaming brown sugar ginger tea.

She felt the chill that had been coiled inside her lower abdomen finally disperse a little, and her rationality gradually regained control.

She lifted the blanket and got out of bed.

Wearing those fluffy slippers, arms wrapped around herself against the lingering cold, she swayed slightly as she walked out of the bedroom.

“Careful not to catch a chill.”

Almost the instant she stepped out of the doorway, a jacket still carrying body heat was draped over her shoulders.

Luo Shaotian had been guarding the door the whole time.

This man who was usually as cold as iron now seemed to have eyes that could hold only this fragile, wavering figure.

Lin Yu subconsciously grabbed the collar of the jacket.

It was Luo Shaotian’s clothes.

They still carried that faint smell of tobacco from his body.

That familiar scent made the refusal she had been about to say circle around on the tip of her tongue before she ultimately swallowed it back down.

After all… this body of hers right now really was annoyingly delicate.

In the living room, the artificial-intelligence rabbit named Xiao Bai was lying on the table browsing on the computer.

Hearing the movement, it raised its ruby-like eyes and glanced at the two of them.

Then, with remarkable tact, it picked up the computer and dashed into a corner, leaving the main stage to these two awkward humans.

“Huh?”

Luo Shaotian froze for a moment, apparently not expecting her to speak first.

“Talk… talk about what?”

“Talk from the heart.”

“About me… and about you.”

Lin Yu walked to the dining table and pulled out a chair to sit down.

She curled slightly into herself, her whole body wrapped inside Luo Shaotian’s oversized jacket, making her look especially small.

Her arms folded on the tabletop, and the soft fullness of her well-developed chest pressed lightly against her elbows, squeezing out a graceful curve.

“I know you’ve been holding a pile of questions in your stomach that you want to ask me.”

She lowered her gaze, her voice as light as drifting smoke.

“Just so happens I’m a bit bored right now… and a bit lost.”

“Two emotionally deprived people sitting together to talk… maybe we can make up for each other’s deficiencies?”

Luo Shaotian fell silent for a moment, then nodded and pulled out the chair across from her.

The two sat across the table from each other.

The distance wasn’t far, yet it felt as if two different worlds separated them.

“I do… have many questions.”

Luo Shaotian looked at her.

His gaze lingered on that pale little face for a long time before he finally asked the most direct question.

“But right now, what I’m most curious about is… how did you end up like this?”

He wasn’t referring only to the transformation.

There was also this… embarrassing “biological cycle.”

Lin Yu gave a bitter smile.

Sure enough, this topic was unavoidable.

She stretched out a hand and irritably rubbed her aching shoulder.

Lowering her head, her voice sounded delicate and helpless.

“You think I wanted this? I rarely transform after work.”

“Did you know? There are rumors in the company that this transformation comes with a price.”

“The longer you maintain this state, the blurrier your original self-perception becomes. You might even… gradually become more and more like a woman.”

“I used to be scared to death of that. I was terrified that one morning I’d wake up and find my little buddy really gone…”

At that point, she tugged the corner of her mouth in self-mockery.

“But these past few days, I didn’t have a choice.”

“The last time we went on that mission together, that damned Blood Bodhi… I accidentally fell for its trick and got poisoned by Natto.”

She lifted her head and looked at Luo Shaotian, a trace of envy in her eyes.

“You’re different from me physically. You’re an ordinary human, so that toxin didn’t do much to you.”

“But I have spiritual-energy circuits in my body. That thing latched onto me like a parasite on bone.”

“It blocks my transformation and leaves me in unbearable pain.”

“Even Old Mei, the company expert, couldn’t do anything about it. He even directly issued me a workplace injury certification and advised me to take the money and leave—graduate with glory and a few million in compensation.”

“But… I’m not ready to graduate yet.”

Lin Yu’s voice lowered.

“Even though the insurance payout is a few million, I’m still young. I feel like I can keep going.”

“So I had no choice but to treat a dead horse as if it were alive. I went to beg my younger sister’s mentor—the foreign PhD who does biological research.”

She took out the delicate metal medicine container and pushed it across the table.

“Here… this thing.”

“It can suppress the toxin and allow me to maintain a stable transformed state.”

“But the price is… it causes severe spiritual-energy overflow.”

“In other words… what you saw. A physiological reaction similar to menstruation.”

Lin Yu grabbed her smooth hair, her fingers digging irritably into the strands as she let out a despairing groan.

“Damn it… what a cursed fate!”

“I’m a grown man… and now I actually have to experience this kind of cramping and bleeding women go through…”

Luo Shaotian stared at the small medicine container on the table.

His brows knitted tightly into a deep furrow.

After a long while, he finally asked in a low voice,

“Why?”

Why?

“Huh?”

“Why take this kind of medicine?”

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Luo Shaotian raised his head, his eyes filled with confusion and pain.

“Didn’t you say… that if you didn’t take it and just chose to graduate, you could get several million in compensation?”

“Several million, A-Yu. That’s not a small amount.”

“In Xinhai City, that money would be enough for you to buy a house and live comfortably.”

“If it’s this painful, if it’s this dangerous… why insist on holding on instead of retiring?”

“Save a little, and it’ll last a lifetime, won’t it?”

“Heh…”

Hearing the words “save a little,” Lin Yu narrowed her eyes and stared at Luo Shaotian for a moment.

Then suddenly, she laughed.

“Hey, Shaotian.”

“You might not understand me… but actually, I’m a very greedy person.”

She stretched out a finger and unconsciously traced circles on the tabletop.

“When I was a kid, if other kids had toys, I wanted them too.”

“When I got a little older and saw others wearing brand-name sneakers, I wanted a pair as well.”

“After entering society, when I saw people my age going in and out of luxury clubs, living in huge penthouses, driving fancy cars… I wanted that life too.”

“To put it simply, I don’t want to be a nobody. I don’t want to be some replaceable screw in a machine!”

“I’m sick of carefully calculating every expense, of splitting orders with people just to save a few yuan on coupons!”

“I want money! Lots and lots of money!”

“I want to live in the best houses, eat at the most expensive restaurants, and enjoy the most beautiful—cough—anyway, I just want to stand above others!”

“I want to be rich. I want to be a capitalist. I want to be the kind of petty bourgeois who can point fingers and give orders to others!”

Her emotions became agitated, her chest rising and falling intensely.

“To achieve that goal, a mere few million isn’t enough! In this cannibalistic city, that amount wouldn’t even make a sound!”

“And now, for this goal, I’ve already sold my body. I’ve already put on this humiliating skirt. I’ve already become a damned magical girl…”

“I’ve already… touched the threshold that could let me jump social classes!”

“And now you want me to give it up?”

“Take that so-called retirement money and go back to that rented apartment where I can only eat instant noodles three times a day?”

“Go back to that life where I have to bow and scrape to my boss and smile apologetically at the landlord—living like a dog?!”

Lin Yu’s lips trembled violently.

On that doll-like, delicate face appeared a deep hatred for her own past.

“That kind of pathetic life where you can see the end at a glance…”

“I don’t want it! Absolutely not! I’d rather die than live like that!!!”

…

After listening to Lin Yu’s words, Luo Shaotian fell silent.

He didn’t refute her.

Nor did he frown and lecture her like he usually would.

After a long time, he simply nodded calmly.

“Understandable.”

“There’s no right or wrong. Only choices.”

So it was understandable.

“Heh… looks like you know how to talk.”

Lin Yu chuckled softly.

She leaned forward slightly, bringing her face a little closer.

Her delicate face still carried the faint redness from crying earlier, making her look particularly pitiful and moving under the light.

Because of that movement, the collar of her already loose pajama top slipped downward slightly, revealing a stretch of snow-white neck and a deep, suggestive hollow that invited wandering thoughts.

Luo Shaotian felt his throat tighten.

He quickly turned his gaze away in an extremely unnatural manner and stared at a chipped corner of the table instead.

“Hey, don’t play dead.”

Lin Yu didn’t notice his reaction—or perhaps she simply didn’t have the energy to care right now.

Her fingers lightly toyed with the empty mug.

Her neatly trimmed nails, a healthy pink color, tapped gently against the white ceramic surface.

“Ding… ding…”

A crisp sound echoed softly.

“Now… it’s my turn to ask you.”

She stared at Luo Shaotian with a hint of scrutiny in her eyes.

“You suddenly ran over here today… what exactly were you planning to do?”

“I remember… I don’t think I ever invited you.”

“I wanted to come see you.”

Luo Shaotian answered directly, without the slightest hesitation.

“See me? Why? For what? What are you up to?”

Lin Yu raised an eyebrow.

“To check if I starved to death?”

“Because we’re friends.”

Luo Shaotian looked back at her again, his gaze open and sincere.

“Friends worrying about each other… isn’t that only natural?”

“Worry…?”

Lin Yu repeated the word thoughtfully, her brows knitting slightly.

“Oh… so you’re worried about me?”

“Yes. I’m worried about you.”

Luo Shaotian answered very seriously.

But for some reason, when those words left his mouth, his heartbeat… suddenly sped up.

The feeling was like the first time he lied to a girl he liked as a child, saying he was “just passing by.”

“Hmm…”

Lin Yu didn’t respond immediately.

She tilted her head and stared at the man in front of her with those heterochromatic eyes for a while.

Then suddenly, she spoke.

“So… is it Lin Yu you’re worried about…”

“…or Lulu?”