Chapter 11: If He Refuses….

“Excuse me…”

It was Sayoung’s voice, who rarely initiated conversation, that stopped the caregiver on her way out of the hospital room to go home.

Thinking she might need something else, the caregiver turned back, and Sayoung spoke very cautiously.

“By any chance… has the person who hired you asked about me?”

The caregiver’s eyes flickered for a moment at the unexpected question.
She was momentarily worried about whether it was alright to answer honestly.

The caregiver would occasionally be asked by her employer how Sayoung was doing, if she was meeting anyone, or if anyone was visiting him.

She didn’t know the relationship between her employer and Sayoung, but depending on the circumstances, it could be taken unpleasantly.

While the caregiver hesitated to answer, Sayoung added in a gentle tone.

“If it’s difficult to answer, you don’t have to. You’ve worked hard today as well.”

Sayoung’s words instantly broke down the caregiver’s resolve.

The caregiver knew well who Sayoung, the person she was in charge of, was.
While she wouldn’t call herself a fan, she was someone who had quite enjoyed watching the dramas Sayoung had been in.

Words couldn’t express how surprised she had been when she first found out that the person she would be caring for was ‘that’ Yoon Sayoung.

The Sayoung she met in person was completely different from the image in the caregiver’s memory, and from the rumors she had heard.

He looked sadder than the lovingly smiling figure from the past, was quieter, and seemed unwell somehow.
He also didn’t seem neurotic as the rumors suggested, nor did he ever get irritated.

He was a man of few words, but when he had to speak, he always used a polite and gentle tone.
In every quiet action, consideration for others could be glimpsed.

For someone who had personally experienced the depths of human rudeness through her long career as a caregiver, it was enough time to form a good impression.

Outside, there was a lot of talk about Han Jaewoo and Yoon Sayoung’s divorce.

Most of it was harsh words directed at Sayoung, but in the caregiver’s eyes, Sayoung did not seem like a venomous person, or someone who would persistently torment her husband out of envy for his success and ultimately drive the family of such a devoted husband to ruin.

Perhaps that was why.
Even while thinking that no good would come from passing on the words, she had found herself speaking without realizing it.

“…He would sometimes ask about your condition, Mr. Sayoung, or if anyone had come to visit the room.”

“Ah…”

“It didn’t seem like he had any other intention, and he seemed worried about you, but…”

The employer, while asking the caregiver, hadn’t added any words like, ‘keep this a secret from Sayoung.’

Perhaps he had thought she would naturally keep it to herself out of discretion, but if it had been a crucial matter that absolutely must not be conveyed to Sayoung, he would have surely given a warning—the caregiver rationalized her actions thus.

Still, she couldn’t completely shake off the anxiety of what would happen if conveying the words became a big problem, so the caregiver spoke in a way that would sound as good as possible.

Sayoung, who had been nodding quietly while listening to the caregiver’s words, soon replied in a calm voice.

“Thank you. I’ll act as if I haven’t heard anything from you. Please don’t worry.”

Sayoung’s ability to immediately grasp what the other person was worried about and to alleviate that anxiety was difficult to view negatively, no matter how one twisted it.
The caregiver soon thanked Sayoung and left the hospital room.

No matter how well you know the depths of ten paths of water, you can’t know the depths of one person’s heart, but she found it hard to believe that such a person had treated Han Jaewoo so wickedly.
It wasn’t just because he spoke a few words prettily, but a sense she had about a person she had encountered up close.

Thinking that rumors about celebrities were truly unknowable, the caregiver hurried down the hospital corridor.

****

Sayoung stared blankly at his leg, which was healing steadily.
He had been worried that this injury might cause a setback in his plans, but it seemed that wouldn’t be the case, which was a relief.
His active participation in all the treatments had paid off.

The answer he had heard from the caregiver a moment ago lingered in his mind.

She seemed to be choosing her words carefully, lest Sayoung feel unpleasant thinking he was being watched, but it wouldn’t have mattered to Sayoung at all even if they had been openly monitoring him.
No, it would have been a problem if they hadn’t shown that much interest.

Whether it was suspicion or something else, the fact that Kim Yoojun was curious about his movements meant that he was at least still considering Sayoung’s request.
At the fact that his plan hadn’t gone awry, Sayoung secretly let out a sigh of relief.

But he couldn’t just be optimistic.
Sayoung recalled the question Yoojun had asked him before leaving the hospital room that day.

‘If I refuse… will you still get revenge on Han Jaewoo, Mr. Sayoung?’

Sayoung knew that he had to start coming up with an answer to this question himself.

Involving Kim Yoojun in this revenge drama was because it was the method with the highest probability of success and the one that could deal a proper blow to Han Jaewoo.

As Yoojun had said, Sayoung could have directly seduced Han Jaewoo and made him fall for him, or he could have won Yoojun’s sincere heart to get revenge on Jaewoo.
But even setting aside the reason that he didn’t want to deceive Yoojun, these two methods had a very low probability of success in Sayoung’s opinion.

As he had told Yoojun, how could he now win the heart of a man he had failed to win even after dedicating his entire life, and in this state, how could he possibly capture Yoojun’s heart?

No matter how many times he thought about it, approaching Yoojun by revealing everything was clearly the best choice.

But what if Kim Yoojun refused Sayoung’s proposal?
What if he simply dismissed Sayoung’s words as crazy talk, or even if he believed him, said he wouldn’t dip his feet in such muddy waters? What would be the next best plan?

If he were to proceed with the revenge, how should he do it? And if he were to give up on revenge, how should he let go of his feelings?

Leaving his mind to become hazy as if filled with fog, Sayoung picked up the cup of water he had placed on the bedside table and the two white pills next to it.

It was a medicine that stabilized an Omega’s pheromones and controlled the heat cycle from coming.
A medicine he had taken tirelessly even before he died.

After marrying Jaewoo, there was a time when he thought he would no longer have to take this medicine.
Sayoung’s pheromone control was stable enough that he didn’t usually need to take suppressants.

Besides, Jaewoo had seemed quite keen on having children before the marriage, so he thought the medicine would become unnecessary once they started their married life.

It wasn’t that he was in a hurry to have a child.
But if Jaewoo wanted it, having a child soon was also good.
Sayoung had pictured in his mind even before the marriage an ordinary and happy daily life with Jaewoo, himself, and a child who looked just like them.

But after they actually got married, Jaewoo made various excuses and was reluctant for Sayoung to get pregnant.

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand his feelings.
Jaewoo was rapidly building his career, receiving attention he had never received before after marrying Sayoung.
In such a situation, he probably didn’t want to add the burden of childcare.

Until then, Sayoung hadn’t taken suppressants.
As long as they used contraception properly, there was no problem in going through heat and rut.

The reason he started taking the medicine again was because of the memory of the day when Sayoung had an unexpected heat due to stress, around the time Jaewoo’s contempt for him was getting worse.

‘Wow, Yoon Sayoung… are you now going to try and do something to me by acting so vulgar?’

Those were the first words Jaewoo had uttered upon finding Sayoung, who had been groaning alone in the living room without even the lights on until he arrived, and they were still lodged in a corner of Sayoung’s heart like a nail.

Even in that state, how ‘vulgar’ he had felt, as his own body, which was getting wet between his legs in response to Jaewoo’s scent, was just as his words described.

Since then, Sayoung had been obsessively taking medicine even when it wasn’t necessary, suppressing his heat.

Struggling to prevent the memories, as vivid as if they had happened just yesterday, from sweeping over him, Sayoung tossed the two pills into his mouth.

Sayoung could still control his pheromones well, but he didn’t know how his body would react if he was stressed by the current situation.
He didn’t want to ruin things with an unnecessary variable at an important moment.

Swallowing the pills with water, Sayoung sorted out the thoughts that had unexpectedly appeared and disturbed his mind.
What he needed to do right now was to decide what to do if Yoojun didn’t help him.

A quiet walk at times like this would be a great help in organizing his thoughts.
Sayoung looked at his leg, still inconvenient for walking alone, with a regretful gaze.

And just then, someone knocked on the door.
Like a premonition, Sayoung’s heart began to pound.

****

Even after hearing the reply from inside, Yoojun stood there for a moment without entering and took a deep breath.

He had definitely come here to get out of this ridiculous game, but strangely, he felt as if he would fall into a swamp if he opened the door and took a step.

An instinctive warning that he had only felt in a few crisis situations in his life rang in his head.
Yoojun had no intention of making a choice that went against this warning, yet he didn’t know why all the senses in his body were running wild like this.

While Yoojun hesitated like this, there was no particular sign of movement from inside.

If Sayoung had made some effort to more actively draw Yoojun in, he felt he could have easily pulled himself out with the rebound, but Sayoung was still acting as if it didn’t matter one way or the other.

Yoojun let out a final breath and organized his thoughts.
He shouldn’t waver by giving meaning to trivial things.
There was no need for that when it was so obvious what was beneficial to him.

Yoojun disciplined himself thus and slowly opened the hospital room door.