Chapter 32: A Door that wouldn’t open again.

His words were a lie. If Han Jaewoo had truly been worried about him, he should have visited when he was in the hospital, not come to his house now.

No, even if he had, he wouldn’t have been genuinely worried about Sayoung.
He was simply trying to maintain his image as a “caring man who, despite being divorced, still cares for and cares for Sayoung.”

And now a gift, of all things. Burying one’s head in the sand couldn’t be this shameless.
So Sayoung pondered.
‘Is there a need to play along with his tune when his intentions are so transparent?’

“…Please tell him I am fine, so don’t worry.”

Sayoung answered while still not opening the door.

Eunseong became even more flustered and now thrust the box he brought, the so-called ‘gift’, right in front of the screen. His desperate appearance was both pitiful and unpleasant.

He, too, must know that Han Jaewoo did not send him with good intentions.
A person without tact could never work as Han Jaewoo’s manager.

Gazing blankly at the person before him who was trying to drag Sayoung out somehow despite knowing that, Sayoung opened his mouth.

“Eunseong.”

“…Yes.”

“What did Han Jaewoo say?”

Eunseong hesitated at Sayoung’s unusual question. From his perspective, it must be quite bewildering.

Because the Yoon Sayoung in his memory would have run out barefoot to accept it if it was a gift from Han Jaewoo.

He probably couldn’t have even imagined being turned away at the door by Sayoung despite putting Jaewoo’s name forward.

“You didn’t really come to give a gift.”

“Th… That is….”

“If you have something to say, I wish you would say it quickly and just leave. I am not feeling well.”
The words of refusal flowed out naturally enough to surprise himself.

It might have been possible because Han Jaewoo didn’t come in person, but for anyone who knew how devoted the previous Sayoung was even to Eunseong, it was sufficiently surprising.
Let alone Choi Eunseong himself.

“I, well… Uh….”

“Were there no words Han Jaewoo told you to convey to me?”

Eunseong, who received repeated requests from Sayoung while surprised and flustered, eventually opened his mouth with a resigned expression.

“…He told you to watch your behavior.”

“…….”
“Not to shame the actor’s face when it hasn’t been long since the divorce… and not to approach just any man and cause a ruckus….”

Strength went into Sayoung’s hand gripping the crutch.
Eunseong stepped back from the entrance with an expression of having given up everything, glanced at the screen, and continued.

“To conduct yourself well… the actor told me to convey that.”

Sayoung bit his lip. Intense memories he could never forget rushed in like rough waves.

Whenever Sayoung met someone or was active outside, Jaewoo got angry saying his actions were chipping away at his image. Sayoung honestly couldn’t understand.

He just said okay because he didn’t want to get on his nerves, because he didn’t want him to get angry.

‘Okay. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.’
As if he could be loved if he was careful like that and acted quietly as Han Jaewoo wanted.

Sayoung lived for a long time trapping himself in words like that and being oppressed. His blood, which had initially cooled, began to boil next.

Because of that, Sayoung had died. Thanks to dying and coming back to life, he barely escaped Han Jaewoo. And yet, he couldn’t understand why he still had to hear such words from him.

“…Choi Eunseong.” So Sayoung opened his mouth.

He stopped always being silent and just accepting things, and spoke up.
If it were before, he would have said okay, that he would do so, and asked Eunseong to put in a good word for him with Jaewoo, but now Sayoung had no reason to do so, nor did any hope remain that the relationship with Jaewoo would improve with those words.

“Eunseong, you also know that those words are unjust.”

Eunseong made an expression he had never seen before.

“Han Jaewoo has no right to say such things to me. Isn’t that so?”

“I, I was just… I….”

“Yes. Eunseong-ssi is that person’s manager. I know you are just doing as you are told. But that… does not become an excuse for coming to me and conveying such words.”

Han Jaewoo was always Choi Eunseong’s entire excuse. Eunseong thought he could hide all his name and actions if he just had that name.

But Yoon Sayoung said. “Please leave.”

” …….”

“Go and tell Han Jaewoo what he wants to hear. Since whatever I say or do here will be meaningless anyway.”

Sayoung turned off the screen right after finishing his words. Eunseong stood there blankly for a long while.

****

Sayoung lay on the bed as if collapsing with a short groan. His injured leg throbbed with pain.

It seemed he had unconsciously put strength into his leg and not properly supported himself on the crutch while standing in front of the entrance.

“…….”

‘How long had I been lying here groaning in pain?’

Sayoung suddenly raised his hand, covered his face with his arm, and burst into laughter.

As he chewed over what had just happened, laughter came out unwittingly.
It seemed he was doing well.

After resolving on revenge, Sayoung always doubted if he was doing things properly.
Although his desire for revenge was unwavering, navigating a vast ocean without any indicators was difficult.

But today, this very moment.
Sayoung obtained evidence to think that he had taken the first step of revenge well, albeit very small and trivial, for the first time since turning back time.

Choi Eunseong’s visit, and Han Jaewoo’s words conveyed through him, were exactly that.

On the day of the divorce, Han Jaewoo had a relieved face without a shred of regret. He was a person who even told Sayoung to live well as if giving alms with such a face.

Such a person now went so far as to send a manager to give him a petty warning. It must mean that Sayoung approaching Yoojun got on his nerves unbearably.

It could never be pleasant to have confirmed how much the person he once loved with his entire life cared about someone else.

But Sayoung didn’t have Han Jaewoo’s love anyway. He had never held his heart. He had come back too many days to be hurt anew by that fact.

‘What face did he make upon seeing the photo taken with Kim Yoojun?’

‘What did he think?’

‘Was his pride hurt?’

‘Was it unbearable because someone he didn’t even view as a threat the size of a bug suddenly appeared by Kim Yoojun’s side?’

‘So he hurriedly sent a person with a knife in their mouth like this.’

It was funny that he was still convinced he could have an extremely large influence on Sayoung, but it was dumbfounding that the one who instilled such confidence in him was none other than Yoon Sayoung himself.

Sayoung, having stopped laughing before he knew it, lowered the arm covering his eyes and looked at the ceiling.

‘There will be worse things in the future.’

‘He will see me with Yoojun even more.’

‘If he is already like this, how does he intend to endure it in the future?’

Imagining the moment Jaewoo hears the news that Sayoung has taken the role of ‘Seo Danwoo’, Sayoung slowly raised his body.

To make that thrilling moment a reality, he had to win the role no matter what. He had to prepare for the audition desperately.

Being in a situation that was incredibly disadvantageous for casting already, he had to show ability that surpassed everything to gain even a tiny possibility.

Sayoung grabbed the audition script placed on the bedside table.

For the one life that died miserably, Sayoung would get his hands on this role no matter what happened.

****

“What did you say he said?”

Stopping while getting into the car, Jaewoo looked back at Eunseong and asked.

Eunseong struggled to avoid his gaze and hesitated, saying

“That is….”

When Eunseong, who had gone to meet Sayoung, returned to the set, the commercial shoot was reaching its end.

Because the shoot continued to the end without a break, he couldn’t hear the story immediately.
Jaewoo was hearing how Sayoung was from Eunseong only now that the shoot was over.

“Speak properly.”
Jaewoo urged Eunseong with a stiff voice and got into the car first.

Eunseong closed the door with a face like a person being dragged to a slaughterhouse and got into the driver’s seat himself. Then, without fastening his seatbelt, he twisted his body diagonally to look back at Jaewoo and opened his mouth.

“First… I couldn’t see Sayoung-ssi’s face.”

“She didn’t even open the door? Him?”

“Yes. I just talked from outside the entrance and came back.”

“…Even though you told him I sent you?”

Eunseong wanted to protest inwardly, asking what reason he would have to go meet that person if not for his order, but he didn’t do the foolish act of uttering those words and making the day tiring.
Instead, Eunseong started to honestly tell what happened today.

“Yes. Even though I said that… he wouldn’t let me in.”

“…….”

“Still, since there were words you told me to convey… I just said them in front of the door and came back.”

Among the countless words Jaewoo ordered him to convey to Sayoung, there were words Eunseong didn’t necessarily have to convey.

Words he could have just swallowed if Eunseong took a little risk. Words that were useless other than hurting Sayoung. Words that would have caused no problem even if he didn’t go out of his way to convey them to Sayoung.
But Eunseong never shouldered those words himself.

Eunseong was Han Jaewoo’s person, and it was natural for him to receive his instructions.
If the matter was found out and he offended Jaewoo’s mood, the one in trouble would be himself.

One wrong move and he could lose the position that paid a lot, and if that happened, Sayoung had no power to help him.
So Eunseong had never done anything for Sayoung of his own will.

Spitting out all those harsh words to the end against a person who wouldn’t even open the door was for the same reason.

“Yes. Eunseong you are that person’s manager. I know you are just doing as you are told. But that… does not become an excuse for coming to me and conveying such words.”

Sayoung’s last words hovered buzzing in his head.

He didn’t want to recall things like what kind of expression Sayoung might have had while listening to his words beyond the firmly closed door.

After all, the one who said those words was Han Jaewoo, not himself.