Chapter 45: Someone still remembered His Name.

“H-Hello….”

When Sayoung bowed his head slightly to greet him, Doyul smiled brightly.

Information about Doyul came to Sayoung’s mind one by one.

He remembered that Doyul was a young rookie actor in his early 20s who had taken on many cute supporting roles.

With a face mixed with expectation and excitement, Doyul opened his mouth.

“By any chance… do you know who I am?”

“…….”

“I’m sorry for asking such a question. I know it’s rude, but I was just so curious… if you might know me….”

Sayoung was somewhat confused by his question.

It was because it was difficult to grasp the intention.

Meeting someone who acted like they knew him in this way after so long made the situation feel extremely unfamiliar.

Sayoung had lived an extremely isolated life from the outside world starting about two years before his death.

Perhaps interpreting Sayoung’s hesitation as a negative, Doyul quickly lowered the corners of his eyes and said.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to answer. I asked a useless question. The thing is, I actually….”

Even amidst his confusion, Sayoung hurriedly answered to stop him from blaming himself.

“Of course I know. Mr. Doyul.”

“Ah….”

“I enjoyed watching your drama.”

It wasn’t empty words.

He clearly remembered thinking that even though he was a supporting actor, he was a friend who acted quite skillfully despite his young age.

At that moment, Doyul’s face turned bright red.

The change was so clearly visible that Sayoung was taken aback.

Doyul, perhaps also noticing his own rapid change, stammered and blurted out words.

“Ah, I-I’m sorry. It’s not that, I just… well, I….”

“……?”

“Actually, I’m a fan of actor Yoon Sayoung… so I’m so nervous right now….”

Sayoung opened his eyes wide.

He couldn’t quite understand what he was hearing right now.

He definitely heard Doyul say he was a fan, but he couldn’t understand why that word was attached next to his name.

Sayoung asked back with a blank face.

“…Pardon?”

“Ah… I k-know this isn’t an appropriate place to say this… but I watched Senior Sayoung’s acting since I was young… and fell for it… and wanted to become an actor… I’m sorry. I’m rambling too much, aren’t I?”

Doyul looked like he was about to break into a cold sweat.

Seeing him struggling like a child, Sayoung wondered if he should comfort him.

However, Sayoung himself was quite flustered right now, so words or actions didn’t come easily.

Sayoung belonged to the category of those who debuted at a young age.

Although he didn’t know Doyul’s exact age, it didn’t seem like it had been long since he passed 20, so it was plausible.

But the question of why it was him, leaving aside other prominent actors, didn’t disappear.

However, he couldn’t just leave the young friend, who looked like he would burst into tears at Sayoung’s silence, alone.

Sayoung consciously clenched and unclenched his fist, trying to shake off the tension.

Then he smiled at Doyul and answered.

“Thank you, Mr. Doyul. To say you’re a fan… that’s praise more than I deserve.”

“I made you uncomfortable, didn’t I? I’m sorry….”

“No! I wasn’t uncomfortable. It’s just… I was a little surprised because it’s been a long time since I heard such words.”

Sayoung spoke honestly without hiding his feelings.

Anyway, there was no point in hiding his situation that everyone in the world already knew.

When Sayoung answered, Doyul, looking a bit relieved, continued to speak steadfastly despite his hesitation.

“No matter what anyone says, I’m… so happy that Senior is starting acting again. Honestly, when I saw Senior in the waiting room, I was so happy I almost screamed. You don’t know how much I hoped to see you act again.”

“…….”

“And there are probably still many people like me. No, there are many. Really.”

Sayoung had forgotten for a long time that there were people called fans for him too.

Once, he had fans boasting a scale not envious of idol fandoms, but he hadn’t thought at all that there would be anyone left who liked him until now.

For too long, Sayoung had lived trapped in the frame of himself who wasn’t loved by anyone, didn’t deserve to be loved, and thus couldn’t even obtain his husband’s affection.

Until the moment he died.

But now, for someone to claim to be his fan.

To Sayoung, it felt like a shock much more unfamiliar than coming back to life after death.

Sayoung unknowingly bowed his head slightly and answered with a blushing face.

“…Thank you. Those words… mean a lot to me.”

Emotions that couldn’t be expressed in such short words stormed through him, but unable to bring them all out, Sayoung clumsily spat out that one sentence.

He was worried Doyul might consider it an indifferent answer, but Doyul had an ecstatic face as if he had received a divine revelation.

“Well, then I’ll stop bothering you now! By any chance… if you happen to need anything, please find me anytime!”

“…Yes, I will. Thank you for your concern.”

With Sayoung’s final greeting, Doyul turned away reluctantly.

If this wasn’t an audition venue, he would have pushed a bit more to somehow get his number; he felt regretful to the point of going crazy.

Still, since it seems he is starting acting again in earnest, there will be opportunities in the future, right?

Doyul diligently returned to his seat while recalling hopeful thoughts.

Several gazes followed such Doyul.

It was clear envy coming from having the initiative taken away.

Though Sayoung was completely unaware of it.

Sayoung was adept at noticing negative energy directed at him, but conversely, it was safe to say he had absolutely no sense for noticing favor.

This was also a part Han Jaewoo had ruined.

While sitting down at his seat quite far away, Sayoung saw Doyul smiling broadly upon making eye contact with him, hurriedly bowed his head, and turned his gaze to the audition script in his hand.

Seeing the script packed with notes, only then did he realize where he was right now.

Simultaneously, the fact that Han Jaewoo would be in the space where he would stand in front of a camera and act for the first time in years pricked his fingertips, becoming a sharp sense of reality again.

Does he know that I participated in this audition? Did he come on purpose knowing it?

Sayoung shook his head.

That couldn’t be.

If he knew, he would have definitely tried to block his participation in the audition when they met last time.

There was no way he would have left it alone, knowing the risk that Sayoung might intrude on the movie he would make together with Yoojun.

If he had found out even after that day, he would have taken some measures.

Seeing that there was no response until now, it was clear that Jaewoo didn’t know Sayoung was here.

Once his thoughts reached that point, his tense heart slowly subsided.

It was true that the sudden encounter was flustering, but since he found out in advance that Han Jaewoo was there, there was no need to be particularly agitated.

Anyway, if he participated in this movie, he would have to act in front of Han Jaewoo from beginning to end.

It wasn’t bad to consider it as experiencing it in advance.

Then, Sayoung rather became curious about Han Jaewoo’s reaction when he would face him soon.

He had a temperament that extremely disliked things not going his way.

But to think Yoon Sayoung, of all people, was intruding into a work with Yoojun, of all things.

Recalling how flustered and furious Han Jaewoo would be when he found out that fact, his tension eased, and he even started looking forward to it.

If possible, it seemed better if he didn’t know until the moment Sayoung stood in front of him.

Before dying, when he stood in front of Jaewoo, he was busy shrinking, trembling in fear that he might offend his feelings.

Since the body remembering was a more terrible shackle than thought, honestly, Sayoung couldn’t be certain if he could act with such a refreshing feeling as now when he really stood in front of him.

Beneath the anticipation, a faint fear rose simultaneously.

It was directed at himself rather than Han Jaewoo.

Am I really ready?

Do I really possess the ability to take revenge on Han Jaewoo?

Can I, who had made a mess of everything before dying, really do things properly just because I experienced death once?

As anxiety rushed in, Sayoung closed his eyes.

And he recalled the asphalt of that night.

The cold aura freezing his body and the red blood wetting the ground.

The glistening white snow.

Han Jaewoo’s voice despising him and endless regrets.

While Sayoung chewed over and over on the pain that felt like it was slicing his flesh, the voice of a staff member announcing the start of the audition was heard from afar.

Sayoung opened his eyes.

He couldn’t be certain of the result.

But one life ending without having tried anything was enough.

Whether he was ready or not, qualified or not, such things were not important.

Sayoung would surely, no matter what, inflict pain on Han Jaewoo, and this audition would become the proper first step he finally faced.

****

“We will begin the audition!”

With the loudly ringing voice, the bustling space became quiet in an instant.

In front, there was a low platform raised like a stage, and opposite it, Director Jung Myeong-cheol sat in the center, with an official to his right, and Yoojun and Jaewoo sitting in order to his left.

Yoojun glanced at Director Jung, who was flipping through the applicants’ documents.

He was curious about the intention behind not stopping Jaewoo from coming even while knowing Sayoung participated in the audition.

Of course, there was a high possibility that the director simply didn’t mean much by it.

Director Jung was also famous as a director who valued acting ability the most, rather than an actor’s secondary background.

Anyway, there were only two types Sayoung could target: a director type who tries to use any issue for promoting the work, and a director type who doesn’t care at all about the backstory of actors.

Director Jung belonged to the latter, and perhaps Sayoung made such a plan knowing the director’s tendency.