Chapter 51: What you’re willing to trade?

A momentary silence passed.

During the time Sayoung chose his answer, Yoojun tried hard not to guess what kind of times he must have spent for an actor who was loved that much to be unable to acknowledge himself to this extent.

He didn’t want to recall the wounds Han Jaewoo gave Sayoung, the violence he inflicted, and Sayoung’s time having to endure all of that alone.

Eventually, Sayoung spoke to Yoojun, who was paradoxically captivated by those thoughts while trying to distance himself from them.

“The reason I am not loved by others is not because of my appearance but because of my true nature. Personality or temperament… or you could call it atmosphere….”

“…….”

“I know my appearance isn’t bad. And Seo Danwoo doesn’t need to have my personality. He already has a sufficiently charming and lovely personality. I just need to express that through acting.”

Looking at Sayoung kept making him angry.

Irritation surged.

Yoojun absolutely couldn’t find a way to resolve this anger.

“I am not Seo Danwoo, and I just need to express him through acting, so… wouldn’t it be unrelated to what I think of myself?”

Sayoung’s answer sounded correct at a glance.

If an actor is charming, there would certainly be advantageous aspects, but an actor’s charm doesn’t necessarily guarantee the character’s charm, and conversely, just because a character is loved doesn’t mean that love unconditionally extends to the actor.

But simultaneously, there was a slight fallacy in Sayoung’s words.

No matter how charming a character is, if the actor playing it is excessively unlikeable or unattractive, it inevitably diminishes the character’s merits.

Ultimately, Sayoung was viewing the situation arbitrarily, just as it was comfortable for him.

It was proof that his evaluation of himself was forcibly twisted and ruined by others.

Yoojun found that fact truly unbearably displeasing.

“Haa….”

But Yoojun didn’t bother grabbing Sayoung and telling him that wasn’t true, that he needed to know a bit more properly how he looked in others’ eyes.

There was no reason, no need, and he didn’t want to.

Anyway, he hated it.

“Shall I give you coffee…?”

Even in the midst of this, Sayoung was saying something truly nonchalant.

Yoojun, barely holding back the urge to shout, ‘Can you swallow coffee right now?’, looked at him with sharp eyes.

Sayoung continued speaking without agitation, like someone who took it for granted that he looked displeasingly at him.

“By the way, what brings you here….”

At Sayoung’s following question, Yoojun was speechless.

It wasn’t that he came without a reason, but every single one of those reasons was something he didn’t want to bring up to Sayoung in this mood, so he had nothing to say.

But he couldn’t hold out any longer.

There was exactly one thing Yoojun wanted to check even if he had to put down all his pride.

“Ah….”

A flustered groan escaped from Sayoung’s mouth, who had been calm all along.

Because Yoojun grabbed Sayoung’s wrist and pulled it without a word.

And Yoojun examined Sayoung’s hand caught by him, or more precisely, Sayoung’s back of the hand.

The scars left on Sayoung’s back of the hand, revealed clearly without a single bandage attached, came into his eyes again.

Sayoung reflexively tried to pull his hand away from Yoojun, but no matter how much force he applied, he couldn’t escape from Yoojun’s large grasp, which looked easily twice his size.

Yoojun’s gaze persistently swept over the back of Sayoung’s hand.

Sayoung felt embarrassment as if showing his naked body to him.

The scars on the back of his hand were symbols of the deepest, most painful, and weakest parts Sayoung possessed.

“Mr. Yoojun.”

Eventually, Sayoung, feeling extremely uncomfortable with this situation, called Yoojun’s name with a stiff voice.

Only then did Yoojun take his eyes off the back of the hand and look straight at Sayoung.

When their eyes met, his heart shrank without reason.

He felt as if he had sinned against him.

Involving Yoojun in something unrelated and forcefully clinging to him for help—strictly speaking, it wasn’t that he hadn’t done wrong to him.

Sayoung thought it was probably due to that.

That Yoojun’s eyes looking sharply at him, and himself shrinking in front of such Yoojun, were probably because of that reason.

“Let’s have a cup of coffee.”

Yoojun, releasing Sayoung’s hand after a brutal silence, said abruptly.

He felt relieved that there seemed to be no new wounds from the past few days including today, but he didn’t want to show it, so he purposely made his voice stiffer.

Whether fortunate or not, Sayoung answered obediently without expressing any particular doubt.

“Yes. Please wait a moment.”

Yoojun walked trudgingly to the sofa and sat down, feeling bitter at the sight of Sayoung walking straight to the kitchen.

At times like this, he wondered if Sayoung considered him like a ‘master’.

He seemed to think he shouldn’t refute or refuse anything just because Yoojun was helping him.

Even though that attitude was what annoyed Yoojun the most.

Watching Sayoung moving silently and brewing coffee, Yoojun suddenly became curious.

Then, how far could Sayoung accept Yoojun’s words?

What could he demand from him on the condition of helping with revenge?

He immediately realized it was a dangerous idea, but stopping the imagination was impossible.

He imagined himself making shameless and inhumane demands beyond unreasonable levels.

Yoojun could easily extort what he wanted, or even what he didn’t necessarily want, by using his desperation.

Even then, the image of Sayoung obeying him with downcast eyes was enough to heat up Yoojun’s breath.

This excitement was certainly not because Sayoung was special.

Yoojun thought it was just instinctive satisfaction coming from conquering someone and subordinating them to himself.

Simultaneously, recalling Sayoung who would accept all of that solely because of Han Jaewoo, whether for revenge or whatever motivation caused by Han Jaewoo, made the blood in his whole body feel like it was cooling down coldly.

Wondering what that bastard was.

Thinking what on earth that trash-like guy was for him to go this far.

Wondering just how desperately he loved that bastard for a person to reach this state.

He knew blaming the victim wasn’t right.

Nevertheless, when the subject became Sayoung, rational thinking was utterly impossible.

In Yoojun’s eyes, where heat and chill were dizzyingly entangled, Sayoung appeared, putting down a cup of coffee in front of Yoojun and sitting on the single sofa placed next to him holding another cup.

“I made it cold as you mentioned last time.”

“…….”

“If you prefer hot….”

“Mr. Yoon Sayoung.”

Whether the coffee was cold or hot wasn’t important at all.

Yoojun cut off Sayoung’s words and called him.

Sayoung looked at Yoojun while holding the steaming mug tightly with both hands.

Yoojun spoke up.

“You know I am an Alpha.”

“…Yes.”

It was an unexpected topic, but Sayoung answered first.

Yoojun lifted the cup placed in front of him, took a sip of coffee, and savored the aroma for a moment.

It wasn’t really because he wanted to feel the aroma, but to avoid getting excited more than necessary.

“When my rut comes, I have to sleep with an Omega.”

Only after hearing such explicit words did Sayoung look at Yoojun with a somewhat agitated expression.

Yoojun, feeling subtle satisfaction just by his composure breaking, put down the cup he was holding and continued.

“When there’s time to rest, I just take medicine and endure, but when busy with filming and such, sleeping with an Omega for a day is fast, convenient, and good for boosting condition.”

It wasn’t true.

As a Dominant Alpha, Yoojun had excellent ability to control himself.

Even if it became a bit exhausting when a rut came, enduring by taking medicine wasn’t hugely difficult for him.

If he took stabilizers in advance before the rut came, management was even easier.

Even if it were difficult to resolve with medicine, sleeping with any Omega simply to relieve desire didn’t fit Yoojun’s temperament.

Nevertheless, Yoojun spoke a lie now while looking straight into Sayoung’s eyes.

Purely because he was curious about his reaction.

“But if I… have to captivate Han Jaewoo’s heart more as per Mr. Sayoung’s plan… shouldn’t I be careful with my behavior for the time being? Since there’s nothing good about being caught on something or disappointing Han Jaewoo for no reason.”

“…….”

“What do you think?”

He knew it was unreasonable.

Anyone would hear it as unreasonable words.

Yoojun didn’t say this to deceive him plausibly either.

The problem lay in the fact that Sayoung didn’t get angry and refute even such bullshit.

Instead of getting angry at Yoojun asking ‘So what?’, Sayoung lowered his gaze slightly and then raised it again, asking.

“How… should I help you?”

At that answer, Yoojun clenched his fist unknowingly.

He is not a tactless person.

There’s no way he doesn’t know with what intention Yoojun is saying this.

Yet Sayoung was speaking as if he would grant everything no matter what Yoojun demanded.

Feeling heat of unknown origin, whether anger or excitement, Yoojun said.

“If I say it, will you grant everything, Mr. Yoon Sayoung?”

“…Tell me what you need. Since Mr. Yoojun is an important person for my revenge, if it’s something I can do for you, I’ll do anything.”

“Then will you even sleep with me every time during my rut, Mr. Yoon Sayoung?”

Yoojun asked, desperately pulling up his last remaining patience.

He felt he would be less angry if he rather got angry, but in a corner of his heart, he was imagining how it would be if he really had sexual relations with him.

Sayoung looked straight into Yoojun’s eyes without answering for a moment.

He seemed to want to find out if Yoojun was speaking sincerely.

Yoojun didn’t avoid his gaze, and Sayoung answered.

“If you are okay with me.”

“…….”

“If you are okay with a person like me, there is no reason I cannot help you.”

‘There is no reason I cannot help you.’

Those words became a strange resonance and lingered in Yoojun’s ears.