Chapter 57: A Beginning not an Ending.

Just then, the waiters were seen approaching from a distance with food.

Yoojun signaled with his eyes to Sayoung, who still looked bewildered, and said.

“The food is here. So let’s not think about other things today and congratulate what you have achieved, Ms. Sayoung. Since it’s a good start.”

Only then noticing the waiters approaching, Sayoung wiped the wetness remaining on his cheek once more, nodded, and opened his mouth.

“Yes… yes. Thank you. I really… will work hard….”

“…….”

“I will really work hard so that my acting won’t become a burden to the work and to Mr. Yoojun… so you won’t regret choosing me.”

And right at that moment, Yoojun realized what he really wanted to see, even taking the trouble to deliver this news himself.

It wasn’t simply that he wanted to see him happy.

It wasn’t like that.

Yoojun wanted to see Sayoung ‘trying to live’.

Not Yoon Sayoung who is like a ghost circling the same place with lingering resentment, but him living, taking revenge, and living the days after calmly.

Not revenge without meaning or winner, but he wanted him to take revenge as a start of life.

When the waiters began placing the food with simple explanations, the two stopped talking for a moment.

Sayoung stared blankly into the air as if dreaming, but Yoojun was looking at such Sayoung very clearly.

Since meeting Sayoung, it was the first time he saw such dramatic and diverse reactions like today.

He didn’t even need to hurt him to get his emotions.

A feeling of fullness incomparable to when he barely saw his expression crumble for a very short moment by purposely speaking harshly and digging into his wounds rushed in.

It felt as if this was everything he had wanted all along.

Yoojun held cold water in his mouth to calm his mind a little.

It seemed some part of his reason was sounding a loud warning alarm, but because he liked seeing Sayoung’s face smiling very faintly, Yoojun decided to ignore that warning alarm just for today.

****

“Thank you so much for today, Mr. Yoojun.”

Sayoung said.

Just as when going to eat, Yoojun drove Sayoung home in his car when coming back.

He didn’t just drop him off in front of the house but got off together and walked to Sayoung’s front door.

Yoojun suddenly thought that they looked like lovers returning from a date right now.

Considering he was a person who lived with the principle that he would rather practice acting one more time during that time than date, it was a very awkward expression.

“Thanks for what.”

Since it was obvious Sayoung wasn’t thinking about dating or anything at all, Yoojun, embarrassed by imagining strange things alone, retorted in a grumpy voice for no reason.

Sayoung continued speaking regardless of Yoojun’s reaction.

“Really. It would have been enough if you just informed me by phone, but you even bought me dinner… I know you cared.”

“Hmm. Hmph.”

Knowing he looked childish and pathetic, Yoojun cleared his throat repeatedly, forcibly suppressing the corners of his mouth that kept trying to go up.

Well, it wasn’t really because he wanted to care about Sayoung but just because he was curious about the reaction.

It really was.

Anyway, since Sayoung interpreted his intention favorably and said so, he didn’t feel bad.

“Thanks to you, for a very long time….”

“…….”

“…I think I spent a joyful time after a really long time. Thank you very much.”

Yoojun couldn’t guess how much time was contained in the word ‘long time’ Sayoung said.

Were there joyful moments during the long marriage?

If there were, how many?

How many days were there that he could recall, smile, and gain strength from even in difficult situations?

“Ms. Sayoung.”

Saying a pitiful and desolate name, Yoojun took a step closer to Sayoung.

The distance narrowed, but it felt insufficient to Yoojun.

Sayoung answered ordinarily ‘Yes’ with an attitude not conscious of that distance at all.

“Prepare well.”

“…….”

“The filming is really not far away now, so prepare properly.”

“Yes. I will. I’ll really prepare hard.”

Sayoung nodded and answered with an actively positive attitude for a change.

Although Sayoung used to answer obediently without arguing to any of Yoojun’s demands, today’s answer definitely had a different color.

However, apart from that, Yoojun knew Sayoung’s answer wasn’t an answer made after properly understanding his words.

Yoojun added.

“I’m not saying to practice acting hard.”

“…Pardon?”

“No, of course you should, practice acting too. But that’s not it….”

The more he continued speaking, the more Yoojun’s voice trembled.

It didn’t tremble when he grumbled and treated him curtly, but when he tried to speak calmly, his heart kept beating rather.

“I mean eat well and sleep well.”

Before long, Yoojun’s voice, fitting well with the dark and cold night air, settled between the two.

Sayoung stopped moving and looked into Yoojun’s eyes.

Because of the height difference, Yoojun had no choice but to look down at Sayoung, and due to the shadow on his face, he couldn’t examine the expression in detail, but at least he could feel that the face wasn’t cold toward him.

Yoojun continued.

“Acting requires physical strength. Good acting naturally comes from good condition. If one can do good acting enduring with mental strength, even better acting is possible when the physical condition is good.”

“Ah….”

“So manage your body a bit. Eat well, sleep well, exercise, and gain some weight.”

It is true that the character Seo Danwoo has an appearance that must look pitiful and fragile, but Yoon Sayoung right now was excessive.

Whether due to his natural atmosphere or thanks to his face or proportions, fortunately he didn’t look unsightly or shabby, but still, it would not be easy to endure on set being this thin.

Although movie filming conditions were definitely better than dramas, filming continuing in the middle of winter couldn’t be easy.

Only then did Sayoung nod.

“I understood what you mean. I will. I’ll manage well so it won’t interfere with filming.”

Sayoung grasped Yoojun’s intention well and answered.

But Yoojun felt somewhat uneasy about that answer.

It was largely because Yoojun himself misunderstood the intention of his own words rather than Sayoung’s words being problematic.

Actually, Yoojun was ignoring the fact that he was worried about Sayoung’s body itself more than acting.

Yoojun, trying hard to ignore the suspicion he felt, brought up a slightly more difficult topic this time.

“Now it’s really the start.”

“Yes.”

Although he didn’t express exactly what was starting, Sayoung understood the meaning precisely and answered.

A tragic atmosphere wrapped around the two as if they were going to a battlefield.

Because it’s an important story.

Because it would be troublesome if someone heard.

Although he knows no one is around, still, there’s no harm in being careful.

So Yoojun took one step closer to Sayoung and continued speaking in a low voice as if whispering.

“Really… won’t you regret it?”

If Yoojun were in the same situation as Sayoung, he would have carried out revenge similarly.

Yoojun had a temperament where he couldn’t live just taking it, and he was a person who was only satisfied when he paid back more than he received.

But it wouldn’t have been this kind of revenge.

Sayoung’s plan was a method with high risk of eating away at himself throughout the revenge process, and a way questionable whether it could be purely refreshing even if it succeeds.

So Yoojun asked Sayoung before the full-scale war began.

Really, won’t you regret it.

From the position of Yoojun who has to seduce Han Jaewoo to help Sayoung, he was worried whether each of his actions would actually become arrows aimed at Sayoung.

He could have passed it off saying it’s none of his business since it’s something Sayoung volunteered and requested, and actually tried to do so.

Nevertheless, his heart couldn’t become light at all.

The more time passed, and the more he got to know Sayoung, the more it became so.

So Yoojun wanted to get confirmation from him for the last time.

Whether this matter really won’t ruin Sayoung completely.

Whether he is really ready to endure all of this.

“Mr. Yoojun.”

Yoojun expected he would think a little more and answer carefully, but Sayoung opened his mouth immediately.

“I… already live in regret every day.”

The moment he heard that answer, his breath was choked.

Yoojun couldn’t guess even a single fragment of what it was like to live in regret.

“So it’s okay.”

He couldn’t understand what was okay.

Does it mean since it’s a life already riddled with regret, it will be okay even if one more regret is added?

Or does it mean it’s okay because the heart is already full of regret and despair so there’s no room for other regrets to intervene?

Neither is okay in the end.

Nothing is okay.

Why on earth does Sayoung keep saying it’s okay?

“…Understood. Then go in.”

However, Yoojun couldn’t ask everything he was curious about until the end.

Even if he heard the answer, there was nothing he could do, so what meaning would it have.

The best Yoojun could do for Sayoung right now was just to participate in his plan quietly without arguing anymore.