Chapter 5: The Expectations I Couldn’t Give Up!

Yoojun remained seated, lost in thought.
His face showed he was contemplating whether he needed to pay any mind to the words of someone who was clearly insane.

Even while reading the doubt in Yoojun’s expression, Sayoung didn’t add any further words, simply waiting quietly for him to finish his thoughts.
Since this was a method with a slim chance of success from the start, there was no reason to feel anxious now.

It didn’t matter if Yoojun simply thought Sayoung was crazy, or if he thought he was lying.
In a way, just leaving a distinct impression on him was a significant gain.

Meeting him in person, it seemed that if he had approached him normally, Yoojun would have been wary of him as Han Jaewoo’s former spouse, and they likely wouldn’t have been able to have a proper conversation.

And, though he hadn’t told Yoojun, there was another reason why Sayoung had confessed everything so honestly.

Recalling the one reason he hadn’t yet revealed to him, Sayoung waited for Yoojun to speak.

After a long while, Yoojun, who had been leaning against the chair, straightened up and spoke.

“Just who are you getting revenge on, and how?”

His voice was cold and aloof.
Sayoung imagined him using that same voice to sharply reject Han Jaewoo’s advances and build a wall, and the corners of his mouth lifted.

To Yoojun, it must have been a rather suspicious smile, but imagining Han Jaewoo, who always held his head high with arrogance in front of him, looking nervous and restless in front of this man, it was hard to suppress his laughter.

It was ambiguous whether he was mocking Han Jaewoo, or himself for pathetically clinging to such a man until the very end.
Either way, it held no great meaning.

In the meantime, Yoojun continued to speak, watching Sayoung’s every move.

“And why you need my help for that revenge.”

“……”

“As for whether I’ll accept your proposal or not, I’ll check for myself in a week and then decide.”

For a moment, Sayoung’s hand, which had been gripping the blanket, tightened.
This was a much more positive reaction than he had expected.
It meant that even if he didn’t believe him now, he would give him one chance to prove it.

“Yes. Alright.”

Sayoung nodded and replied.
Now that he had already twisted his life’s path, he couldn’t be sure if things would unfold exactly as they had before he died, but for now, this was enough.

If past events didn’t repeat themselves, all of Sayoung’s plans would become futile anyway, so besides making a fool of himself, there would be no other major blow.

Yoojun watched Sayoung, who answered so readily, for a moment longer, then stood up and said.

“Then, don’t go anywhere and stay here until I come back. It’ll be more convenient for you too, to avoid the media’s attention.”

“Yes, I will.”

For someone who had just spouted such crazy talk so nonchalantly, his attitude was overly submissive and quiet.
Yoojun still found Sayoung’s demeanor grating.

Just as he had felt when he first entered the hospital room, even as they made eye contact and conversed like this, he seemed somehow hazy, as if he weren’t a person of this world.

Yoojun didn’t like it.
It was similar to an instinctive repulsion, but Yoojun couldn’t pinpoint whether it was because of this person’s peculiar presence, or because he was someone connected to Han Jaewoo.

“I’ll be leaving now.”

“Yes. Go safely.”

A simple farewell was returned to Yoojun’s short one.
Even after asking for help, he seemed as if it didn’t much matter to him whether Yoojun believed him or not.
He was an unpleasant person.

Yoojun hastily left the hospital room as if trying to shake off a murky atmosphere.
And just before the door closed, he unconsciously turned his head and saw Sayoung through the crack.

He had already averted his gaze from Yoojun and was staring blankly out the window.
Before the somehow sorrowful air could reach Yoojun, the hospital room door closed.
That was all.

****

“What did he say?”

As soon as Yoojun got in the car, Jeongmin, who was in the driver’s seat, glanced back and asked.
It was obvious he had been waiting anxiously the whole time in the car.

Jeongmin’s eyes, who had found this situation suspicious from the start, were still tinged with doubt.

Yoojun didn’t answer right away and was lost in thought for a moment.
His mind was a tangled mess of complex thoughts that he couldn’t seem to sort out.
Only the image of Yoon Sayoung’s eyes and face as he looked at him came to mind clearly.

A face too calm for someone talking about revenge.
Eyes that were incongruously serene while spouting nonsensical, crazy talk.

A quiet voice that had nonchalantly conveyed words like, ‘I have already experienced death once.’
Only those things.

At Yoojun’s unusual silence, Jeongmin frowned as if to say, ‘I knew it.’
No matter how much he mulled it over, the fact that it was Yoon Sayoung who had ‘coincidentally’ passed by that spot and ‘coincidentally’ saved Yoojun was extremely unsettling.

Those who didn’t know the situation might think Jeongmin was overreacting, but he had his own clear reasons.

Although they were divorced now, Han Jaewoo and Yoon Sayoung’s love story had once been sensational enough to shake the entire nation.

Even after their marriage, everyone knew how much Han Jaewoo cherished his spouse.
That was why most people thought the responsibility for their divorce lay solely with Yoon Sayoung.

If he were to say that Han Jaewoo, who loved his spouse so dearly, had been hitting on Yoojun even before the divorce, not many people would readily believe Jeongmin.

But Jeongmin, who was always by Yoojun’s side, knew.
Han Jaewoo was by no means the great ‘romantic’ people said he was.
He might have been in the past, but at least not recently.

‘Because of this, I was already trying to prevent Yoojun from getting involved with Han Jaewoo in any way, but he ended up getting entangled with his ex-husband, Yoon Sa-young.’

After a long silence, Yoojun finally spoke.

“Let’s just wait and see for now. But keep an eye on who comes and goes.”

“…Yes, I will. Are we going home?”

“Yeah.”

Yoojun answered briefly and leaned back deeply against the seat, looking out the window.
To no avail, despite his efforts to push it away, Sayoung’s ghost-like face came to his mind again.

It was obviously going to be nonsense.
He would have been more inclined to believe it if he had suddenly claimed to have received divine possession and gained the ability to see the future.
‘He died, then suddenly came back to life and returned to the past? Did that even make sense?’

‘He was clearly crazy.’
‘Or he really did hit his head hard.’
In a week, no scandal like the one Yoon Sayoung mentioned would occur, and the moments Yoojun was spending mulling over his words would obviously be a waste of time.
He was sure of it.

“……”

But even as he thought that, why did Sayoung’s expression as he spoke of revenge keep nagging at him like a thorn in his eye?
Was it because he had heard something so absurd that it had piqued his cheap curiosity?

A person who hadn’t shown his face for years says the first thing he wants to do in his revived life is get revenge.

‘Then what on earth had he experienced in the ‘life before he died’ that he spoke of?’
‘What kind of life had he lived to reach death, and then be revived to dream of revenge?’

Even while thinking there was no need to care about a world of delusion that didn’t exist, Yoojun couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“Revenge…”

“Sorry? What did you say?”

Jeongmin, who had heard his unconscious muttering, asked, looking at Yoojun through the rearview mirror.

“It’s nothing, never mind.”

Yoojun replied, shaking his head.
He felt a pang of regret, thinking he should have pried a little more and listened to more of that crazy talk.

He should have listened to how much more concretely that delusion was formed in his mind, before it was all revealed to be crazy nonsense.

Beyond the scenery outside the car window, which was flashing by faster and faster, he recalled Sayoung standing next to Han Jaewoo, looking at him with a face that seemed on the verge of tears.

‘Was the reason he was so bothered by his nonsense perhaps because the memory of him from that time remained in a corner of Yoojun’s mind?’

Quickly erasing the memory that was disturbing his thoughts, Yoojun closed his eyes.
In a week, his words would be proven false anyway, and after that, he wouldn’t get involved with Sayoung again.

Yoojun was certain of it.

****

Yoon Sayoung thought he had already given up on many things.

No matter how hard he tried, no matter how well he did, he truly thought that it had been a long time since he had let go of futile expectations in order to remain by the side of Han Jaewoo, who rarely gave him his true heart.

‘So, did you think I would eventually come to truly love you someday?’

But the moment he heard those words from Jaewoo.
The very moment he faced a gaze colder than the biting winter wind and a voice devoid of any warmth.

Sayoung realized.
From the beginning until now, Sayoung had still not been able to completely let go of any expectations.