Chapter 16: The Weight of a Collar

The dim dawn light forcibly dragged me from a heavy slumber.

Struggling to prop myself up, I found my mind as muddled as it had been yesterday.

Perhaps it was due to the sheer number of recent hardships, but each awakening brought with it a slight blurring of my past memories.

In my mind, I seemed to recall only the lord’s schemes, the lady’s cruel punishments, and the young miss’s relentless mockery.

These were the three things I wished least to remember, yet they now occupied a vast space within my thoughts.

My broken body reminded me of my status as a mere pawn, unable to escape the lord’s clutches.

My aching wounds made me understand the venom of those in power, who would never bestow mercy upon me.

And the collar fastened around my neck whispered that kindness shown to a viper would only invite its lethal fangs.

“Oh, how I wish for just a little more rest…”

I murmured to myself, able only to voice this small desire under such circumstances.

Yet, this sound, audible only to me, held no weight.

Rather than a wish, perhaps it was merely a pipe dream.

I could not rest.

“Today is the day the Young Miss prepares to depart for Moon Isle. I must meet with the other maids and ensure all her luggage is packed…”

Rising, washing, dressing.

What had once been simple and effortless now felt incredibly burdensome. This was not only due to the changes in my body, but also because I seemed to be constantly suffering new injuries.

The bandages on my back, arms, and legs were changed daily.

Even as old wounds began to scab over, new ones invariably appeared to cover them.

Because of this, I already knew I would be the last maid to arrive at the meeting point today.

When I finally reached the gathering place, breathless and exhausted, the accompanying Head Maid, Bena, regarded me with a stern expression.

Her gaze was like a sharp cane; a mere glance felt as painful as a strike.

‘I’m doomed…’

“Lilian! Do you know how long everyone has been waiting for you?”

She did not permit me to join the ranks. Instead, she approached me with a grim face, her back ramrod straight, looking down at me.

I had never seen Bena from this perspective before.

When she was still the housekeeper, she would always stand slightly bowed beside me, humble and gentle, like a kind and intelligent woman.

Perhaps it was because I was much shorter now, or perhaps because she could finally stand tall, but I realized she was surprisingly imposing, so tall that she seemed almost to crush me.

“I apologize, Head Maid.”

Perhaps having uttered ‘I apologize’ too many times, the words spilled out almost reflexively.

Of course, I knew that even if I explained my predicament, she would likely not care.

“What good is apologizing to me? Your dawdling has made everyone stand here for ages! If we don’t manage to pack the Young Miss’s luggage in time, you’ll be the one to bear the consequences!”

Bena commanded imperiously, her eyes filled with undisguised disdain.

For some reason, as I looked at her, I inexplicably felt she resembled a fierce female teacher I had encountered in my childhood.

It seemed similar people existed everywhere.

“Get to the very end of the line!”

“Yes…”

I hung my head and made my way to the back of the queue.

As I passed the other maids, I could distinctly feel their strange gazes and hear their hushed whispers.

“Goodness? Is this maid new? She offended Sister Bena on her very first day. Tsk tsk, she’s definitely in for some bad luck later.”

“She looks even younger than me. Why are her maid’s clothes similar to Aisha’s? Could she also have caught the Lord’s eye?”

“Who knows? Maybe she looks young but is cunning.”

“Hey, hey, did you notice that thing around her neck? It looks like a collar!”

“It does! Why would she wear something like that?”

“Someone must have requested it… the Lord’s peculiar tastes?”

“Not the Lord, I heard the Young Miss put it on her.”

“That collar’s design… it looks similar to one the Young Miss used to have on a female hunting dog.”

“Wow—really? That’s too… Ugh! I definitely couldn’t handle that.”

“Ha, of course you couldn’t. Her face is naturally alluring, you see.”

“Speaking of which, the name Lilian also seems to…”

“Oh dear…”

These undisguised whispers pierced my ears like needles, leaving me no escape.

I kept my head down, desperately avoiding their gazes, unable to summon even a sliver of courage to face them.

Even so, my mind still conjured visions of those twisted eyes, emitting a scarlet glare.

When I reached my designated spot, I didn’t know what expression I wore, but the cold sweat trickling down my cheeks told me it was certainly not a pleasant one.

By some coincidence, the maid beside me happened to be Aisha.

She, unlike the others, did not openly discuss me. She merely swept her eyes over me a few times, her face impassive.

“Quiet! Listen to me!”

Bena, the Head Maid, clapped her hands, her voice resounding.

“Today, your task as maids is to organize and pack all the Young Miss’s belongings and transport them to the carriage.”

“The luggage will be carried by carriage from here to ‘Windward Port,’ and from there, directly to Moon Isle.”

“Once we reach the port, only I and a few of the Young Miss’s personal maids will continue the journey. For the rest of you, your duties will conclude there.”

“If there are no questions, I shall begin assigning tasks!”

The maids generally had no questions, as Head Maid Bena was accustomed to having the final say.

Soon, the tasks were distributed.

Initially, these involved organizing the Young Miss’s dresses and jewelry. This was clearly light work, assigned by Bena to a few maids who seemed to be on good terms with her.

The next task was preparing meals, which was allocated based on experience.

The work was progressively assigned, but as time passed, the easier tasks were quickly taken, leaving the remaining duties concentrated on several undesirable chores that no one wished to perform.

By the time it was my turn, I was left with the worst category.

“Aisha, Lilian, you two will be responsible for all heavy-duty cleaning throughout this journey.”

Heavy-duty cleaning?

My expression faltered, and a tightness gripped my chest.

Having worked in the manor for so many years, I knew exactly what that implied.

Ordinary cleaning mostly involved tidying rooms, mopping floors, and wiping windows. While tiresome, it was still manageable.

However, the addition of ‘heavy-duty’ invariably pointed to arduous laundry tasks and the cleaning of waste.

These jobs were typically relegated to the ostracized maids.

Was I being ostracized the moment I arrived?

Why?

‘Why me again…’

“Why are you still spacing out?”

A harsh voice pulled me back from the brink of drowning in my misery.

Snapping back to reality, I saw Aisha, who had previously ignored me, now staring intently.

The gaze from her golden, wheat-colored eyes burned as intensely as her hair.

I inexplicably felt reluctant to meet her gaze, for I couldn’t tell if it was my imagination, but Aisha seemed… very angry when she looked at me.

She… why was she so angry?

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