Chapter 11: A Wish Born from Ruin

“…Even if this was my fault, I got hurt instead of Choi Siram. Doesn’t that settle it?”

“What?”

“…If I did something wrong, I’ll accept the punishment. I won’t deny that I acted recklessly either, so if there’s punishment for that, I’ll accept it. But I took responsibility for this situation and did everything I could to protect Choi Siram. So please refrain from insulting me any further.”

I forced strength into my trembling jaw and continued speaking.

Clenching my teeth, I endured even the tearing pain in my flesh, driven by the single determination not to lose to them this time.

“What the hell is this. Hey, Han Jaeyoon. Do you want to die by my hands this time? Maybe that’ll knock some sense into you.”

“Park Suchang, stop it. Choi Siram’s condition isn’t even stable yet. What are you doing, acting like children.”

“He keeps pissing me off.”

“Suchang.”

“Come to think of it, Seokhwan hyung is really a saint. No matter what happens, he still takes care of Han Jaeyoon just because he’s a teammate. I feel like throwing up just looking at him.”

Kim Seokhwan stepped in and stopped Park Suchang, who was glaring at me as if he was about to strike.

As his sturdy frame moved forward, I was instantly hidden from the others’ view.

“Yeah, Seokhwan’s right.”

I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and steadied myself behind him.

Then, someone who hadn’t shown himself until now slowly approached.

Kwon Iyul.

In his hand, he was gripping the collar of a man whose face was so battered it was barely recognizable.

Looking closely, the man was none other than the high-ranking center official who had explained the test earlier.

The name tag read Kim Hojun.

His body trembled violently as if electrocuted, foam bubbling out of his mouth.

“Choi Siram’s condition isn’t stable yet, and Jaeyoon is badly injured too. Let’s all stop here.”

“…Hyung, even so, letting this go just like that—!”

“Suchang.”

Park Suchang, still unable to calm down as if he held a grudge against me, began openly defying Kwon Iyul as well.

Kwon Iyul’s expression turned cold.

He threw the staff member aside and grabbed Suchang’s shoulders tightly.

“Does it look like I’m asking for your permission?”

“……”

“What should I do. It seems our Suchang has lost his touch lately. Talking back to me like this.”

“…Kwon Iyul, you stop too.”

“Ah, Seokhwan, my dear. What did I do. Our little chicks don’t even recognize their team leader and are running wild, so I just gave them a little warning.”

“Your ‘warnings’ are never little.”

“Hmm, is that so?”

After whispering something into Suchang’s ear, Kwon Iyul picked up a chair and walked straight toward me.

Seeing him suddenly raise his arm, I shut my eyes tightly, bracing myself for the inevitable blow.

Instead, he simply patted my head and smiled.

“Good job, Yoon.”

“…What do you mean by that.”

“…Why does everyone doubt what I say these days. I’m just praising you.”

“……”

“You protected Siram and handled everything. Our Yoon has really grown up. You deserve praise. So, Yoon.”

I grew wary of Kwon Iyul’s sudden friendliness.

Every single time, without exception, whenever he acted like this, what followed was always cruel.

“If something like this happens again, you’ll protect Siram, right?”

“……”

“Siram is quite weak, after all. And he’s slower than others sometimes. But you’re pretty sturdy.”

…Of course.

This one hurt more than usual.

As expected, nothing ever changed.

His voice, whispering sweetly into my ear, sent chills down my spine.

Calling it protection sounded nice, but what he really meant was simple.

If this happens again, you’ll be the one to get hurt instead of him.

I never expected him to worry about me.

But how could he say something like that to someone who had just barely survived?

I couldn’t understand it.

No.

I refused to understand it.

“Having you around really reassures me, Yoon. Right, everyone?”

“……”

“Well then, enough of this. Yoon, a center official will come soon, so go to the hospital with them. Suchang, Suchan, and Seokhwan, take care of Siram. I have dinner plans tonight.”

Leaving Kim Seokhwan, Park Suchang, and Park Suchan by Choi Siram’s side, Kwon Iyul sent them all out.

Choi Siram looked like he wanted to say something, but this time, I avoided his gaze first.

No matter what I said, nothing would get better.

“Ha… haha.”

I suddenly wondered.

If I died, would they finally look at me?

Would they treat me like a human then?

Or would they not even care?

If they didn’t…

Then I wished for something else.

I hoped they would suffer.

Whether it was because of my absence or Choi Siram’s, I wanted them to feel unbearable grief.

Even while living their normal lives, I wanted something to weigh down their hearts, making them break into tears.

I wanted them to feel an emptiness no Esper could ever fill.

To collapse from exhaustion after crying, unable to desire anything ever again.

To carry nothing but sorrow, rotting slowly because of it.

“Ahaha… ahahahaha…”

Ironically, as a mere B-rank guide, I wished more than anyone else in this world for the downfall of my paired Espers.

Clink—

“From now on, you’ll need to keep coming regularly for dressing changes and antibiotics. The wound is deeper than it looks, so even if it seems healed on the outside, we can’t rule out infection.”

“How long will it take before I can return to normal daily activities?”

“Well, recovery varies from person to person, so I can’t say for sure. But in your case, since you’re quite thin and guiding drains your stamina, you should be careful for at least another two weeks.”

The doctor spoke while dabbing the stitched wound with alcohol-soaked cotton.

It had already been two weeks since the accident.

I had been going back and forth to the center’s emergency room for treatment.

After the wound was stitched, I had to be careful not to let water or contaminants get in, so my arm was in a cast.

With my right arm restricted, daily life had become inconvenient.

I just wanted it to heal quickly.

“Have you experienced dizziness or rashes while taking the medication? If so, we might need to change it due to a possible allergic reaction.”

“No, nothing like that. But I’ve lost my appetite. Could that be a side effect?”

“No, loss of appetite isn’t likely a side effect.”

“…I see.”

Lately, I could barely eat.

Everything tasted like chewing dry gravel.

Even though I knew I needed to eat more, I could barely manage a few bites.

Instead of gaining weight, I kept losing it.

The doctor had suggested prescribing appetite stimulants, but I declined.

Shaking my head, I bowed slightly and prepared to leave.

“If anything feels wrong, don’t endure it. Come back immediately, alright?”

“Yes. Thank you for today.”

“Get plenty of rest, eat well, and I’ll see you next week.”

Late autumn had passed, and winter had arrived.

The temperature had dropped noticeably, and snowfall became more frequent.

The center, located in the special zone, had particularly distinct seasons.

Even after three years, I still struggled with the cold.

I pulled my coat tighter around me.

“At 2 PM today, the pride of the center and the nation—members of Attack Team 3—were seen at a charity event hosted by the council, donating 10 billion won.”

Dragging my slippers, I stepped out of the emergency room.

Employees stood staring at a large TV screen, as if mesmerized.

I turned slightly to see what they were watching.

Familiar, unwelcome faces were lined up in front of a press conference stage.