Chapter 47: Irreversible

“Seriously though, Jaeyoon, what crime did you commit? Why do you keep your head down like that? I was trying to admire your handsome face for the first time in ages.”

The shelter residents sat gathered around a small table, all eyes fixed squarely on him.

But after collapsing into sleep from accumulated exhaustion, he woke up half-conscious and completely disoriented.

His swollen eyelids made it hard to see properly.

And on top of that, the sheer fact that so many people were focused on him felt unbearably awkward.

Especially after he had sobbed like a child while clinging to someone barely half his size.

Too embarrassed to lift his head, he sat there quietly while his ears burned red.

One of the younger shelter residents, who had been closely observing those flushed ears, wandered over with a teasing grin.

“Hyung, hyung. What was the upper district like? Was it fun?”

“Were the buildings really super tall like on TV? Were there lots of people?”

“You little brat.”

“What fun? I worked myself to death every single day without rest.”

“Shouldn’t you all be off running around together somewhere? Why’re you all acting like this today?”

“Please understand.”

“They’re just excited to see him again after so long.”

It was loud.

The noise never stopped.

As though the lonely nights spent crying alone in bed had been erased from memory, he slowly filled the seven-year gap by answering every single question the shelter residents threw at him.

Thankfully, nobody treated him awkwardly.

Their circumstances were far worse now than before, yet after finally reuniting with the warmth he had longed for so desperately, he found himself wanting to lean on them again and again like a child.

Slide—

“……”

“……”

“…Uh, Ahyoung?”

And among everyone present, there was one especially dangerous individual he needed to keep an eye on.

Song Ahyoung.

Unlike in the past, she no longer clung stubbornly to his side or grabbed his clothes refusing to let go.

Instead, she simply sat beside him at the edge of the bed, staring at his face for a while before looking away.

Then repeating it.

Over and over.

At first he wondered whether it was some new game children played these days.

But every time he asked, Ahyoung only responded with a mysterious smile instead of giving a real answer.

Which somehow made it even more burdensome.

After all, he still carried unresolved guilt toward her.

Every time their eyes met, he unconsciously straightened his posture.

Flick—

“…Hey, Ahyoung. Are you still mad at oppa? Is that why you’re acting like this?”

“Mmm, nope.”

“Huh? You’re not?”

Holding her flushed cheeks with both hands, Ahyoung twisted shyly before staring at him again.

Then she burst into soft laughter.

Thankfully she wasn’t angry.

But because he still couldn’t understand what exactly her behavior meant, the confusion only deepened.

Unable to do anything else, he awkwardly smiled back at her innocent grin.

“Oppa.”

“Yeah?”

“O-ppaaa.”

“Yeah.”

“Jaeyoon oppa!”

It seemed as though she simply wanted to confirm over and over that he truly existed in front of her.

Even after he answered, she kept calling him repeatedly.

For some reason, that alone nearly brought him to tears.

He quietly rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

“Jaeyoon, come here for a second.”

“Ah, okay.”

Just as he was enjoying the warmth of reunion, Shinwoo approached while helping distribute food to the children.

The fact that he specifically called him outside meant it was probably something difficult to discuss in front of everyone.

What could it be?

Carefully setting Ahyoung down onto the makeshift bed, he rose and followed Shinwoo outside.

“What, Shinwoo oppa?”

“You just got him back and you’re already stealing Jaeyoon oppa away!”

“Oh really?”

“And who was it saying I was their favorite oppa?”

“And since when does Jaeyoon belong to you? Did you lease him or something?”

“Oppa, were you always this clingy?”

“Love changes, you know.”

“Besides, I only ever cared about Jaeyoon oppa anyway.”

“…Wow. Listen to her.”

“So all the sweet things you used to say to me were fake?”

“Oh, those?”

“I only said them because they sounded nice.”

“Why are you being so childish about it?”

Kids these days were really something else.

Just like Woo Suyeon from the hospital, and now Song Ahyoung too.

Their speaking skills could rival professional debaters.

When Ahyoung sharply turned her head away, even Shinwoo—who started it as a joke—looked genuinely offended and deliberately slammed the door shut behind him loud enough for everyone to hear.

Bang—

Startled by the sudden noise, Jaeyoon flinched instinctively.

Only then did Shinwoo realize and awkwardly scratch the back of his head.

“…Sorry. Did I scare you?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I was just thinking you two seem really close.”

“Don’t even start.”

“What close? That brat lives to get on my nerves every time she sees me.”

“Just let it go. They’re still kids.”

Stepping across worn wooden planks, they walked outside the building.

The sky had already darkened.

Unlike District 1’s relief zone where towering buildings blocked the view, the skies over the conflict region were perfectly clear.

The Milky Way stretched magnificently overhead.

“Here.”

“Thanks. I was actually starting to get cold.”

Without explaining where he found it, Shinwoo handed him a warm mug of coffee.

Pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders, he slowly thawed his frozen fingertips.

“But why did you suddenly call me out here?”

“Something difficult to talk about inside?”

“…You could say that.”

“Or maybe not.”

“?”

It almost sounded like dozens of dead leaves tumbling across the ground.

“…Do you want to visit the director’s grave?”

“It’s nearby.”

Sitting on the cold dirt where the chill seeped directly upward, Shinwoo spoke carefully.

“To be honest, calling it a grave is probably generous.”

“But the others are buried there too.”

“You should at least come say hello.”

“They’d all be happy to see you.”

“……”

“…If you don’t want to, you can go later.”

The hand gripping the blanket turned pale white.

From childhood onward, the director had taken in wandering children from the streets and raised them into proper human beings.

To everyone in the lower village, she was a true benefactor.

She was the one who taught them to share even half a bean with a hungry neighbor despite starving themselves.

She was the one who taught them to understand suffering and extend a hand first.

“Do whatever feels comfortable for you, Jaeyoon.”

“No one’s forcing you.”

At first, he had mocked her idealistic beliefs.

How could someone barely surviving tell others to give away half of what little they had to complete strangers?

It sounded ridiculous.

But after losing Yoon Heeseong—someone who had been family to him—and falling into despair, she was the one who reached out to him warmly.

And because of that, he changed.

To him, she became something sacred.

Not a false prophet forcing meaningless faith onto others.

But a genuine saint who poured endless affection even upon the insignificant.

“Honestly, I struggled a lot deciding whether to tell you.”

“You especially adored the director more than the others.”

“And I knew this would hurt you.”

“You already came back exhausted and broken, so it felt like adding yet another burden onto your shoulders.”

“……”

“…Sigh. Sorry.”

“I really wanted to only tell you good things.”

“But none of this is going the way I want.”

A dark heaviness lingered over Shinwoo’s face as he rubbed his dry eyes.

Though he pretended otherwise, Jaeyoon knew Shinwoo was barely enduring all this through sheer willpower alone.

How could anyone possibly imagine the pain of watching the people you spent over a decade beside die right before your eyes?

And despite all that chaos, Shinwoo still carried every body up this mountain himself and buried them properly.

All while carrying the fear and anxiety of everyone depending on him.

“…Was she in a lot of pain?”

“The director, I mean.”

“Mm. Honestly… hard to say.”

“You know what kind of person she was.”

“Yeah.”

“We probably knew her best.”

“She passed peacefully.”

“At least, that’s how it looked to me.”

“Ah. But before she closed her eyes, she said one last thing.”

“What did she say?”

“She said this world was f*cking rotten.”

“Like squeezing bean sprouts out of a beggar’s asshole.”

“And asked why people kept destroying the lives of those who already had nothing.”

Despite the heaviness of the conversation, Jaeyoon suddenly burst into laughter.

Even at the moment of death, those words were so perfectly like her that he forgot his grief entirely and laughed through tears.

“…That really does sound exactly like her.”

“Right?”

“I was shocked too.”

The atmosphere, which had nearly become unbearably heavy, shifted instantly.

Staring at the burning firewood before them, Jaeyoon quietly whispered toward Shinwoo, who was forcing his tired eyes to stay open.

“…Thank you.”

“Hm?”

“It just… felt like nobody had ever properly thanked you.”

“So….”

The face of his old friend, now marked clearly by time, felt strangely poetic.

Sometimes pitiful.

Sometimes comforting.

Sometimes dependable.

Perhaps this was exactly how the others saw Shinwoo too.

“What’s with you all of a sudden?”

“That’s embarrassing.”

“Wow.”

“So you get embarrassed now too?”

“Ugh. Gross.”

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