Chapter 7: A Flower That Refuses to Wither

“Forget it. Why would you even go to a place full of old geezers. But more importantly, Choi Siram, why are you alone with Han Jaeyoon?”

“Hey, Park Suchang. Watch your mouth. We’re teammates, what’s wrong with being together?”

“Hyung, calm down first and take off your clothes.”

“Oh, Yoon, you’re awake. Are you feeling a bit better?”

I wish he hadn’t asked.

It would be even better if he just ignored me.

Kwon Iyul stood there with a bright expression, holding an armful of flowers that didn’t suit him at all as he greeted me.

Seeing a human weapon who could tear people apart so casually in the same frame as delicate flowers that looked like they would wilt at the slightest touch sent chills down my spine.

I pulled the blanket up to my shoulders and licked my dry lips.

“Here, Yoon. I brought this for you.”

“…Wh-why chrysanthemums… so many…”

“What the hell, hyung. You brought that for Han Jaeyoon. I was wondering why you were carrying something so out of place. Don’t do that again. You and flowers are the worst combination.”

“What are you saying, Suchang. If I could reach our Jaeyoon, I’d even become a pasque flower. Though, of course, what I’m holding now isn’t that.”

What Kwon Iyul handed me was none other than chrysanthemums.

Looking at his sly, flushed expression, I felt my insides burn once again.

Seriously, he’s consistently a bastard no matter how many times I see him.

“I went to the funeral of the center director’s father-in-law today. While I was there, I thought these would suit Yoon, so I asked for the whole bouquet. And this one is for Siram. There was a flower shop in front of the funeral hall. The colors were pretty, so I grabbed them without thinking.”

“Ahaha! Hyung, Han Jaeyoon gets chrysanthemums and Choi Siram gets roses. I mean, I’m something else, but you’re really something too.”

“Hmm, I just brought what I thought suited each of you. Suchang, you’re especially sarcastic today.”

“Oh, sure. Of course you are.”

Choi Siram looked down at the rose bouquet pushed toward him with an awkward expression.

Unlike my sickly chrysanthemums that looked like they would wilt any second, the roses in his arms were in full bloom, as if filled with passion.

“Uh…”

Since it was from Kwon Iyul, he couldn’t refuse. But accepting it happily felt awkward because of me.

Even more than the one actually being insulted, Choi Siram looked flustered, his face turning bright red.

My empty stomach twisted at the comparison between us once again, but I said nothing and simply buried my nose into the chrysanthemums, savoring their faint lingering scent.

Flowers aren’t at fault.

It’s humans who assign meanings to them.

I knew very well what it meant to offer flowers meant for the dead to the living, yet looking at the chrysanthemums, somehow so similar to me, made my heart feel heavy.

“Thank you.”

“…What?”

“Since it’s a gift, I should put them in a vase.”

“W-wait, Jaeyoon. That’s dangerous!”

How ridiculous.

Feeling pity and a sense of kinship toward something that couldn’t even speak, act, or express emotions properly.

Ignoring Choi Siram’s attempt to stop me, I got out of bed and looked around for a vase in the dorm.

At least a small water bottle would do.

“What are you doing, Yoon?”

“Can’t you see. I’m looking for a vase.”

“Why. It won’t last long anyway, just throw it away.”

“…Still, if I give it water and let it get some sunlight, maybe it’ll last a bit longer. That’s why.”

Perhaps my answer wasn’t what he expected, because Kwon Iyul approached me with a strange expression.

It was so eerie and unfamiliar that even after spending three years with him, I instinctively hesitated.

“Is that really all?”

“What other reason would there be. That’s all.”

“Ahaha, I see. Then keep it up. Though I don’t know how much longer it’ll last anyway.”

“…I see.”

Having lost interest, Kwon Iyul walked away toward Choi Siram, as always scratching at my insides with his words.

“…What a waste.”

As I reached up toward a shelf cluttered with junk, wondering if there was anything usable, the white petals that had barely been clinging on began to fall one by one as my movements grew rougher.

Looking down at the chrysanthemums with their yellowing tips, I thought to myself.

You must have once been a beautiful flower in full bloom, full of life.

How did you end up like this.

Perhaps I saw myself in this flower.

Like it, I too was slowly withering away in this barren environment without anyone’s care.

The only difference was that I still had time left.

Once my contract ended, I could leave the center and live doing what I wanted.

Yes.

That’s what I believed.

“…This spot looks good. It gets sunlight and isn’t too dry.”

Dragging my heavy body, I searched for a place to set the flowers.

There was an empty spot by the window next to the living room.

I filled a long bottle I found in storage with water and carefully placed the chrysanthemums inside so the petals wouldn’t get damaged.

To others, it might just be a trivial flower.

But to me, it meant something different.

I wanted it to somehow survive, even if just for a few more days, and see the light of the world a little longer.

Because it would be such a waste to fade now.

Because it would be too sad.

“…The weather’s nice.”

After thinking for a long time about where to place the vase, the sun had already risen high, pouring warm light through the large window.

Burying my nose in the chrysanthemums again, I thought of the most beautiful and precious words I knew.

There’s that saying, isn’t there.

If you place two plants under the same conditions and speak kind words to one and harsh words to the other, the one that hears kind words grows faster and more beautifully.

If that were true, then even if not for me, I wanted to say only good things to these chrysanthemums.

Even if they wither soon, at least while they’re alive.

“Jaeyoon, Jaeyoon, wait a second!”

“Choi Siram?”

“…Thank goodness. I’m not too late…”

After staring at the flowers Kwon Iyul had given me for a long time, it was already past lunch when I went to press the elevator button across the dorm for the annual guiding practical training test.

Suddenly, a breathless Choi Siram grabbed my shoulder.

As if afraid of getting hurt, he quickly stuck his hand between the closing elevator doors to stop them.

Startled, I hurriedly pressed the open button.

Without considering anything else, I raised my voice at him for being reckless.

“What are you doing. What if you got seriously hurt doing something like that!”

“I wanted to go with you. Even if our ranks are different, I heard we train on the same floor.”

“…Do you think that’s a valid excuse. Look at this. Your hand is injured.”

I grabbed his hand, where the skin had scraped off and a bit of blood was showing, and examined it.

No matter how awkward things were between us, I wasn’t heartless enough to ignore someone getting hurt.

With everyone busy preparing for training, I doubted the infirmary would be any help.

So I took out the yellow bandage I always carried and carefully covered the wound.

“…It’s my first time.”

“Excuse me?”

Leaning closer toward me, Choi Siram smiled brightly, his expression full of excitement.

Feeling pressured by his pure, almost foolish reaction, I stepped back toward the corner.

“It’s my first time. Seeing you express your emotions so directly.”

“…That’s not what matters right now.”

“It matters to me. You’re worried about me right now, aren’t you. You’re even getting angry because of it. Right. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Having grown up suppressing my emotions from a very young age, even I knew I rarely showed them.

Especially after starting work at the center, I suppressed my already blunt nature even more so as not to upset my teammates.

“…Yes, I am worried. We’re teammates, it’s only natural. So please calm down and step back a bit. It’s cramped here.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been spoiled since I was young, so I have a habit of clinging to others…”