Chapter 45: The Road Back to the Living

“…It doesn’t matter. No matter how much it is, I accepted that money to use for the shelter family anyway. Things turned out like this, so there’s no helping it, but at the very least, the people who can survive should survive.”

The pupils watching him trembled slightly.

Questions swirled inside Shinwoo’s neat eyes alongside crushing guilt.

Was it really alright to rely on him any further?

“No. I already feel guilty enough that you spent all those years suffering alone away from everyone. I can’t burden you any more than this. I appreciate the thought, though.”

“…I don’t have anywhere else to go anyway. And you know better than anyone that even if I take all this money and live comfortably alone somewhere, I’d never feel at peace.”

“No, still. I don’t know how or where you came from, but if you’ve got this much money, then leave this place immediately.”

“Go back to the upper districts. Rejoin the Center. Do whatever you want.”

“If it’s anyone else, maybe not, but you deserve that much.”

After seeing the fake bankbooks and stacks of checks inside the bag, Shinwoo hurriedly pushed him by the back.

Not knowing that someone with little time left to live had no use for such wealth, Shinwoo’s expression rapidly hardened with cold determination.

“I don’t want to. I’m not going back. I’m staying here.”

“…Han Jaeyoon, you saw it too. You saw what happened at dawn.”

“This place is hell. It’s not somewhere people can live!”

“You said everyone was managing. You said they were all together safely. You said we’d go together!”

“So why do you keep changing your words?”

“…That’s because I said those things assuming you didn’t have any other options!”

“With this kind of money, you could live comfortably anywhere, whether it’s the upper districts or somewhere else, so why do you insist on suffering on purpose?!”

A wave of sorrow suddenly welled up inside him.

“I-I’m staying here. I’m going with you. I’m staying beside everyone….”

“…Jaeyoon.”

“I said I don’t want to go back! I want to stay here!”

“Shouldn’t you at least respect that decision if that’s what I want?! Why are you doing this too…!”

“……”

He had dragged his aching body all the way here for one reason alone.

He wanted to remain beside the people he considered family.

At the very least, he wanted to face death in the place he chose, surrounded by the people he loved.

So who was Shinwoo to destroy that resolve so casually?

“…Don’t cry.”

“Hic… can’t I stay here? I don’t want to go back. I really don’t.”

“Just let me stay here….”

“Alright. I understand, so stop crying.”

“Jaeyoon, okay? You know I’m terrible at comforting people….”

The moment he threw himself into Shinwoo’s arms, that familiar grassy scent embraced him again.

Now he understood why the smell lingered on him.

Shinwoo had spent most of his time living up in the mountain village.

“…I’ll take you there. No, let’s go together.”

“……”

“So please stop crying already.”

Crunch—

“Whoa, careful of the branches there. It snowed all night, so the ground’s twice as slippery as usual.”

The moment they stepped into the forest dotted with scattered pine trees, a steep mountain trail blanketed in snow greeted them.

The outer layer of the frozen ground had melted under the sunlight, making every single step difficult.

Thankfully, Shinwoo was wearing proper mountain shoes and supported him the entire way.

If he had attempted to climb the mountain alone, he would have slipped and fallen countless times before making it halfway.

“…Can this even be called a path?”

“We don’t really have a choice if we want to avoid the looters. Give me your hand. Watch your footing.”

Pushing aside sharp brush and stepping over roots twisted like barbs, they finally stopped near an old well that marked the beginning of the mountain’s midpoint.

Snow crystals clung to the branches everywhere, shining like green jewels formed from the condensed energy of the forest itself.

Whenever the freezing winter wind blew through, the drifting white snowflakes resembled a painting.

After drinking from the well, he sat on a hard rock and rubbed his aching legs.

“But, Jaeyoon.”

“Hm? What?”

“What was that earlier?”

“…What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? You collapsed from pain earlier. You looked like you were dying.”

“……”

“…Are you seriously sick somewhere? Is that why you quit the Center?”

When it came to things like this, Shinwoo’s instincts were frighteningly sharp.

Unable to meet his gaze directly, he hesitated for a long moment before shaking his head.

No matter what happened, he did not want the shelter residents—especially Shinwoo—to know about his illness.

“…It’s nothing like that. I just haven’t been sleeping much lately, so my gastritis got worse.”

“Han Jaeyoon. If you’re going to lie, at least do it properly.”

“Or at least put in enough effort to fool the person listening.”

“How dare you make up such ridiculous nonsense with a straight face and expect me to believe it?”

“…It’s really nothing serious. I was under a lot of stress while working at the Center, so my stomach lining got pretty damaged.”

“And for a slightly damaged stomach, you need to take this much medicine?”

Shinwoo rummaged through the medicine packets inside the backpack and refused to stop interrogating him.

His pressure was so overwhelming that Jaeyoon eventually gave up trying to explain and simply sealed his lips shut again.

“…Forget it. Why am I even bothering to ask you anything?”

“…Shinwoo.”

“Honestly, I don’t want to force answers out of someone who clearly doesn’t want to talk.”

“……”

“But you have to tell me someday, alright? Promise?”

“…Yeah. I’ll tell you. I promise.”

Only after he reluctantly nodded did Shinwoo finally back off.

Then, squinting slightly, he immediately began teasing him instead.

“Seriously, other than getting a little taller, your personality hasn’t changed at all.”

“You still never listen to anyone, and you keep all your secrets locked away like nobody else is allowed to know them.”

“…Me? No I didn’t.”

“You absolutely did.”

“Don’t tell me you forgot?”

“In the summer, whenever you heard mosquitoes buzzing at night, you’d run straight to the director and sleep beside him.”

“And then I’d ask what you two talked about all night, and you’d refuse to tell me no matter what.”

“…Now that you mention it, I think that did happen….”

“You should’ve seen your face back then.”

“I wanted to smack you so badly, but you were always glued to the director, so I couldn’t even touch you.”

Sitting together atop the wide rock and chatting quietly gradually eased the lingering awkwardness between them.

Honestly, neither of them had changed much.

Shinwoo still squinted whenever he laughed.

And he still had the habit of smacking the shoulder of whoever sat beside him whenever he found something funny.

“Talking like this again after so long feels really strange.”

“Was it hard? Over there, I mean.”

“Looking at you now, it seems like you lost even more weight instead of gaining any.”

“…You know what people in the upper districts are like.”

“It wasn’t just difficult. I seriously thought I was going to die.”

“……”

“Hey, relax your face. I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty.”

He couldn’t even remember the last time he had talked this long with someone while showing his true self so openly.

“…By the way, about the money you brought.”

“Yeah?”

“I think it’d be better to keep it secret from the villagers for now.”

“Huh? Why?”

“To be honest, money itself is useless unless you leave the looters’ territory and reach another major city.”

“There’s supposed to be a large market opening in District 4-8 next month, so depending on the situation, I was thinking of taking some people there to gather supplies.”

“What do you think?”

“You mean hide it until then?”

“Yeah.”

“Everyone’s exhausted mentally and physically right now, so we don’t know what might happen.”

“I just want to prevent unnecessary conflict before it starts, so don’t misunderstand.”

He knew nothing about how life operated in the conflict zones after the looters appeared.

And unlike Shinwoo, he had no confidence in controlling a group of strangers.

Compared to himself, Shinwoo had spent all this time taking care of the villagers and making difficult decisions.

Anyone with common sense would know whose judgment made more sense.

After thinking for a while, he decided to follow Shinwoo’s lead.

“But isn’t District 4-8 really far from here? If we avoid the main roads and take mountain paths, it’ll take at least four days round trip.”

“It’s fine.”

“Thankfully, there are quite a few strong people in the village besides me.”

“And they’re all experienced climbing mountains too, so if we travel together, it won’t take as long as you think.”

Maintaining a pace sustainable for a long journey, they continued deeper into the forest.

Standing atop the paulownia roots marked with axe cuts, Shinwoo whistled softly using his fingers.

After confirming there was nobody nearby, he suddenly began digging into the dirt.

“W-What are you doing? Why are you digging all of a sudden?”

“…Hup—”

“Hey, Lee Shinwoo. What the hell are you doing?”

“Ah, found it. I found it.”

As though his hands did not feel the cold at all, Shinwoo continued digging through the deeply packed soil before finally pulling out a thick metal chain.

Srrrk—

“Come on. Time to head into the village.”

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