Chapter 30: The Beginning of Ruin

A voice shattered the silence.

It was Park Suchang.

The moment I saw his face, my head began throbbing as though it would split apart.

It felt like he had done something to me during the incident two days ago, yet I couldn’t remember exactly what.

All I could vaguely assume was that it had something to do with the large bruise around my neck or the gunshot wound in my shoulder.

“What is it, Park Suchang-ssi?”

“What do you mean what? If an Esper is looking for a Guide, what else could it possibly be besides Guiding?”

Carefully clutching my aching shoulder, I slowly sat up and noticed the other team members entering behind Park Suchang.

They looked utterly exhausted after being dragged back and forth between press conferences, the National Security Bureau, and endless questioning until the terrorist situation had finally calmed down.

“Excuse me, but my physical condition isn’t exactly normal right now, so guiding all of you at once is a bit….”

“I know.”

“…Pardon?”

“I know it’ll strain you. But what choice do we have? Choi Siram’s still like that in his hospital room, so we can’t exactly go get Guiding from him.”

Apparently, none of them noticed that I myself was hospitalized.

I swallowed back the urge to say it aloud.

Whatever had happened two days ago, I had already given up expecting anything from these people anymore.

Humans are creatures of forgetfulness.

But at the same time, humans are also creatures who repeat patterns and eventually find answers within them.

And finally, after everything the team had shown me until now, I found my answer.

“Well….”

“Yoon-ah, do we seriously need to care about every little thing like that? You’re a Guide, and we’re your paired Espers. Then you should just do your job and Guide us. Why are you acting like you want free money without working for it?”

“…Yes. You’re right.”

Just give up.

Let them live among themselves.

I didn’t have much time left at the Center anyway.

So I should simply pretend not to care and give them everything they wanted.

“Still, could you at least come one at a time? This room is too small for so many people. I can barely breathe. I hope you can at least show me that much consideration.”

Once I made up my mind, dealing with the team became surprisingly easy.

There was no need to argue with Park Suchang.

No need to react sharply to every word Kwon Yiyul said.

What an incredibly comfortable way to live.

I almost regretted not behaving like this sooner.

My composure had finally stabilized properly.

Perhaps it was natural.

After all, expectations only exist when affection for the other person exists too.

“Then, who would like to receive Guiding first? Decide the order and let me know.”

And ominous beginnings always arrive unexpectedly.

“Is it finished?”

“Yes. We’re done.”

After finishing with Kim Seokhwan, the last person in line, all the strength drained from my body at once.

Trying to guide four people while already in poor condition had apparently been too much.

As I staggered while gripping the bed for support, Kim Seokhwan—who still hadn’t left the room—quickly approached and grabbed my shoulder.

Smack—!

“…Sorry.”

Without realizing it, I slapped away the hand gripping my shoulder too roughly.

My body, already tense from unfamiliar intrusion, instinctively recoiled into a defensive posture.

Maybe it was my imagination, but Kim Seokhwan briefly looked startled as he stared down at the rejected hand.

If part of me found satisfaction in that expression, did that make me cruel?

“…Did you need something else? The others are probably waiting outside. Shouldn’t you go?”

“Them? Waiting for me?”

“…Pardon?”

“If it’s those idiots, they’ve probably already gone to Choi Siram. Don’t worry about them. Siram’s condition improved enough that he’s getting discharged today, actually. More importantly… I heard you visited Su-gyeom-hyung before?”

After confirming once more that nobody remained outside the room, Kim Seokhwan quietly repeated what he had heard from Kim Su-gyeom.

“Yes. You gave me the number for that purpose. I visited him before, and he explained everything necessary for the transfer request. Thank you again for helping me.”

“…No, it’s fine. That’s good then. There’s still time before the transfer application period ends, so prepare slowly without overworking yourself.”

“By the way… Team Leader Kim Su-gyeom said that approval from the other team members is required for the transfer request. Should we arrange a separate meeting about that?”

According to Kim Su-gyeom, contracts between Espers and Guides were directly connected to life itself.

Therefore, consent had to be obtained from each party involved, and transfers were only approved if every team member agreed unanimously.

Since they already had Choi Siram to replace me, I assumed they would accept without much hesitation.

But strangely enough, Kim Seokhwan shook his head immediately without even a second of consideration.

“There’s no need for that. I’ll handle the issue myself, so you just focus on packing your things and preparing to leave.”

“…Really? I can really leave the Center without any additional complications?”

I was genuinely shocked.

I had worried that Park Suchang or Kwon Yiyul might refuse the transfer approval simply to make my life miserable.

But thanks to Kim Seokhwan’s influence, it seemed I could leave the team without complicated procedures.

The formless hope inside me slowly began taking shape.

The peaceful days I would spend again with the people at the shelter were finally approaching.

Unable to even hide the smile tugging at my lips, I quietly wiped away the tears gathering in my eyes.

“Thank you. Thank you so much, Kim Seokhwan-ssi.”

“You look really happy.”

“I just feel relieved… and happy too. Honestly, my emotions are kind of complicated right now.”

Once I left the Center, I planned to use all the money I had saved to buy necessities for the people at the shelter.

I would also remodel the damaged outer walls of both the main building and annex to block the freezing drafts that came every winter.

Of course, one extra person wouldn’t dramatically improve our lives.

But even that would still be something.

In fact, after I began sending money regularly to the shelter, I heard conditions had already improved enough that people no longer had to sleep directly on the floor or beg on the streets as often as before.

“…Don’t relax too much yet. I’m pulling you out unofficially, so there are still procedures left before you fully leave the district jurisdiction.”

“Yes. I’ll keep that in mind.”

After Kim Seokhwan left the room and the tension faded, the fatigue temporarily suppressed by my excitement began gnawing at me again.

Ever since I regained consciousness two days ago, a strange heaviness had been pressing against my chest.

But I assumed it would naturally disappear after a few days, so I ignored it.

Now that I thought about it, I probably should have asked my doctor for an examination the moment the symptoms first appeared.

After spending nearly thirty minutes guiding each Esper, the stiffness and exhaustion in my body felt even worse.

“I guess it won’t hurt if I sleep first and leave later….”

Pulling the thick blue blanket up to my shoulders, I adjusted the pillow and lay down on my side.

Feeling as though something heavy pressed tightly against my chest, I swallowed a painkiller from the drawer beside me and tried to sleep.

Until the sedative mixed into the medicine gradually pulled me under, I quietly organized all the things I wanted to do after leaving the Center.

“Ah….”

I woke up around six hours later.

Outside the window, cold darkness had already settled.

It was close to midnight, a time when nearly all sounds and signs of life had disappeared.

The mucus clogging my throat split apart as ragged breaths escaped my lips.

A vicious pain squeezed my chest and dragged my clouded mind awake.

It wasn’t simply pain or difficulty breathing.

It felt as though someone was gripping both my lungs and shredding them apart piece by piece.

The agony intensified steadily until it became impossible to endure rationally.

Crash—!

“…W-What… what is this….”

While writhing in pain, I failed to notice there was nowhere left to retreat and tumbled straight off the bed.

Belatedly, I grabbed onto the small bedside table and tried to force my legs upright, but once my balance collapsed, my lower body refused to obey my mind.

Even stretching my hand toward the pager became impossible as every movement worsened the pain in my chest.

Instinctively, I only managed to turn my head slightly and grab my phone among the items scattered across the floor.

“Hah, ngh… ugh….”

My vision refused to focus.

Everything looked cloudy, as though I had submerged my eyes underwater and pulled them back out.

Grinding my teeth, I barely managed to move my fingers through the contact list.

‘What was the direct number for the medical center help desk again….’

“Ah….”

The strength slipped from my hand, and my second finger accidentally held down speed dial number one.

Suddenly, three unfamiliar characters appeared across the screen.

As far as I remembered, I hadn’t saved any speed dial contacts.

So then what call was connecting right now, and who exactly was answering?

Click—

The prolonged ringing abruptly stopped.

A familiar voice echoed through the speaker.

— Hello?

I didn’t care who it was anymore.

I just wanted someone—anyone—to end this pain.

Whether by knocking me unconscious or severing all sensation in my body, I desperately wanted escape from the agony that felt like knives stabbing through my brain.

Cold sweat streamed down my temples, while my dry cracked lips parted enough for the metallic taste of blood to spread across my tongue.

— ……

If I followed my true feelings, I would have screamed and begged for help.

I would have exposed every bit of weakness I had in hopes of earning sympathy.

But I couldn’t do it.

Even though the words “save me” swelled so violently inside my throat that they threatened to suffocate me, I couldn’t force them out.

Because the person who answered the phone was Kwon Yiyul.

— What? Who is this?