Chapter 49: Frost Beneath the Morning Sky

“…You think so too, don’t you, sir?”

Before Lee Shinwoo could turn to look at me, I quickly wiped away the tears rolling down my cheeks first.

Apparently finished checking the graves, he picked up the water supplies and the snack bundle Grandma Dosan had packed earlier, smiling brightly.

“Is it really that good? You must’ve eaten all kinds of delicious things in the Upper District, so why are you scarfing it down like that?”

“…It’s just been so long since I had it. It’s good enough to make me cry, okay?”

“Haha, fair enough. You used to live and die for potatoes back then.”

The potato was perfectly cooked through, soft and fluffy, and I dipped each bite into precious sugar before taking a huge mouthful.

It reminded me of when we were kids. Whenever I ran errands for the director, Shinwoo and I would sometimes sit together like this, eating potatoes and sweet potatoes side by side.

As we shared the potatoes, something suddenly came to mind.

“Oh, right.”

“?”

“Shinwoo, you mentioned before that there’s going to be a huge market opening in District 4-8 next month.”

“Yeah, I did. While you were asleep, I talked it over with the others too. They all seemed to agree.”

“…There aren’t any other problems? If everyone leaves here, won’t it be dangerous?”

“We do have some food stockpiled, but at this rate we won’t survive until spring. It’s either starve to death here or risk our lives to get supplies. If you asked a hundred people, all hundred would choose to risk it.”

Shinwoo added jokingly that there was no point letting the money I brought sit unused anyway.

The boys I’d seen earlier, and even the people busily inspecting the village facilities, didn’t look old at all.

At most, they were barely adults.

Just young men.

“Everyone wants to survive this winter somehow.”

Even if circumstances left them no choice, I couldn’t shake the feeling that children my age—or even younger—were being pushed toward danger.

Maybe I was unconsciously seeing myself in them.

“I know exactly what you’re thinking right now, but don’t worry too much. One of the elders here knows the mountains really well, so we’ve managed to get by safely this whole time.”

“…That’s good to hear, but still…”

“Seriously, Han Jaeyoon. Nobody beats you when it comes to worrying yourself sick over pointless things.”

Shinwoo tossed the remaining corn kernels into his mouth and said we should get moving.

For a second, I almost got offended at the “pointless worrying” comment, but I quickly regained my composure and focused on finishing the food in front of me.

I’d promised to return before lunch, and imagining Song Ahyoung waiting endlessly for me made it impossible to sit comfortably any longer.

Besides, I wasn’t working as a Guide anymore.

I had plenty of time left now.

The village wasn’t far away either, so I could visit whenever I had the chance.

Tap— tap—

“…I’ll come visit often from now on, sir.”

As we gathered our belongings and headed back toward the village path, I quietly said goodbye.

The graves of the sleeping souls seemed to see us off like a stage after the curtains had fallen.

The weight of my steps moving forward felt much lighter than when I had walked toward the graves.

“We should hurry back. Just imagining Song Ahyoung nagging me again for bringing you back late is already giving me a headache.”

“What’s wrong with Ahyoung? She’s adorable. And what’s with calling her ‘that thing’? She’s not an object.”

“Oh? Easy for you to say when it’s not your problem. So you two teamed up against me now? Both of you are ganging up to bully me?”

Maybe it was just my imagination, but Shinwoo seemed to walk even faster than before.

I pushed lightly against his back and hummed cheerfully under my breath.

Rustle—

“…Ah.”

It was early dawn.

The moment I barely opened my eyes, the cold air filling the old room pierced my skin. Drafts had blown in all night.

A faint warmth lingered thanks to the bonfire burning in the corner, but it wasn’t nearly enough to heat a room housing more than ten people together.

Blue dawn light stretched across the faces of the children sleeping huddled together to escape the cold that seeped into their bones.

Suddenly jolted awake by pain, I clutched my churning stomach and rushed toward the communal bathroom.

“Ugh… blegh… ngh…”

Tears welled up on their own.

My completely twisted stomach kept convulsing violently, tormenting me.

When I licked my dry, cracked lips from exhaustion, I tasted blood.

The metallic taste lingered on my tongue as I slowly forced my tightly shut eyes open.

“Ha…”

I spat out the saliva gathered in my mouth, rinsed away the sourness, and lifted my head.

In the bathroom mirror reflected the face of a man who looked far more haggard than before, yet strangely peaceful at the same time.

It had already been a month since I left the Center and returned to the shelter family.

During that entire month, my condition neither improved nor worsened.

No… considering the constant nausea despite chewing my food carefully to help digestion, maybe my stomach had actually gotten worse.

“They’re going to worry again…”

But even so, it was okay.

The hygiene, the living conditions, my body—everything was incomparably harsher than before.

Still, I had people beside me.

That alone was enough for me to endure the countless waves of torment crashing over me every day.

“What excuse should I make this time?”

Until the dizziness making the whole world spin finally settled, I leaned against the cold cement wall and stared out the tiny window.

The distant cries of orioles echoed softly like the melody of a quiet rondo.

“Jaeyoon oppa!”

And just as that pointless thought crossed my mind, a sharp voice shattered the silence.

“You’re here again? Does your stomach hurt again?”

I immediately pulled the child running toward me into my arms and breathed in the clean scent of sunlight clinging to her.

She’d barely managed to bathe with warmed water the night before, and perhaps tickled by the way I held her, she burst into laughter and scrunched her shoulders.

I couldn’t lift her properly because of my condition, but I held her small, delicate hand instead.

As expected, her innocent smile greeted me warmly.

“If you’re feeling that bad, you should ask Shinwoo oppa to buy medicine for you. He and the others are heading to the market today.”

At Song Ahyoung’s worried words, I remembered something I’d briefly forgotten.

The market.

Right.

Today was finally the long-awaited day of departure.

“Oppa, Shinwoo oppa told me to come find you. Shouldn’t we go now?”

“Ah, sorry. I was completely out of it for a second.”

“No, it’s okay. If we go now, it’s fine. Everyone’s busy eating anyway, so they won’t care. They all eat like pigs.”

“You shouldn’t call adults pigs. Come on, hold my hand and let’s get out of here.”

After roughly smoothing down the mess of hair at the back of my head with water from tossing around all night, I matched my pace with Song Ahyoung as she held onto my hand.

The moment we stepped through the open doorway, the crisp morning air unique to early dawn pierced my lungs along with the frost settled atop the dry weeds.

“…Oh.”

I noticed Song Ahyoung’s fingertips had turned red from the cold.

I hurriedly searched my coat pocket for a pair of mittens and slipped them onto both her hands.

The oversized adult gloves looked awkward on her tiny hands, but it was still better than letting her freeze.

As expected, Song Ahyoung happily declared her hands weren’t cold anymore and even insisted on warming my hands instead with her newly warmed ones.

“Jaeyoon-ah!”

“Slow down. You’re going to trip.”

In the distance, I saw Lee Shinwoo greeting me warmly alongside the others preparing to leave for the market.

Over the past month, because my condition had prevented me from helping with work, my reputation within the village had deteriorated considerably.

Whether in the Upper District or here, people treated burdensome freeloaders the same way.

Besides, not everyone from the shelter actually knew me.

Opinions among the villagers were sharply divided between those who protected me and those who wanted me thrown out.

At least, that had been the case until exactly one week ago, before Shinwoo abruptly announced to the villagers that he would go to the District 4-8 market.

“You’re here, hyung.”

“Yeah, hi. Everyone gathered early.”

Shinwoo explained to the villagers in detail that he planned to use my retirement payout to buy supplies at the market.

It was good that clarifying the source of the money stopped people from treating me like dead weight.

But afterward, the villagers’ sudden excessive kindness toward me made me deeply uncomfortable instead.

Even though I tried convincing myself they were only acting this way because times were hard, I had heard it clearly with my own ears.

“Thank you so much. If it weren’t for you, hyung, we all would’ve starved to death here.”

“…No, it’s nothing. I didn’t really have anywhere else to use the money anyway.”

I remembered the voices whispering that it would be better if someone like me, dragging out a dying life while constantly sick, would just die already.

The murmurs urging my death.

‘Why are we even keeping someone like that around? He’s just another mouth to feed. Someone who can’t even work is only wasting food.’

‘Does he even realize his existence itself is a burden? Everyone’s struggling just to survive, and they’re breaking their backs accommodating him. Seriously, he’s shameless.’

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