Chapter 59: The Leash

“You may go in after about five minutes.”

“Yes. Understood.”

I stood outside the recovery ward located on the left side of the medical center, speaking briefly with Kim Seokhwan’s secretary.

During the entire time I waited by the door, two healing-type Espers constantly moved in and out of the room without rest.

There was no way two high-ranking Espers would end up throwing punches for no reason.

And since nobody knew the exact details of what happened within the team, public curiosity still hadn’t died down even a month after the incident.

Proof of that was how openly people — including medical center staff and patients — kept glancing at me as I stood outside the recovery ward.

Creak—

“Excuse me.”

Unable to endure the stares boring holes into the side of my face any longer, I hurriedly opened the door and stepped inside.

The large room was filled with strange-looking machines blinking and humming endlessly.

“…You came quickly. Sit down.”

“Kim Seokhwan-ssi.”

Kim Seokhwan, who had been fastening the remaining buttons of his shirt while standing near the window, addressed me calmly.

A medical eyepatch covered his left eye.

According to what Park Suchang explained earlier, the wound still hadn’t fully healed, so he would have to wear the eyepatch for the foreseeable future.

Apparently sunlight was especially dangerous for the exposed injury as well, which was why the curtains remained shut throughout the day while he worked.

“I already know what you’re going to say, but standing there awkwardly isn’t helping anyone, so just sit.”

“…Yes.”

The soft leather sofa enveloped my shoulders as heavy silence settled between us.

On the way from the office to the recovery ward, I had repeatedly practiced apologizing the moment I saw his face.

But now that I was actually standing before him, the words refused to leave my mouth.

Even trying to force sound past my throat felt impossible, as though I had swallowed a giant stone.

“…I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For everything.

From beginning to end.”

“……”

“For deciding to run away.

For asking for your help.

For shamelessly coming here to apologize like this.

Everything.

I’m sorry for all of it.”

I lowered my head.

Tears slipped from my tightly shut eyes, dampening the tip of my nose before dripping onto the floor.

Stupid Han Jaeyoon.

What possessed someone like you to suddenly act out and get innocent people hurt?

You should’ve just endured it quietly.

If you had simply endured everything until the day you died, Kim Seokhwan and Kim Kyungwoon could’ve continued living normally at the center like they always had.

This was all because of you.

Because you were an idiot.

A complete fool.

“That’s enough. Why are you apologizing for this? The person who actually deserves an apology hasn’t even asked whether I’m alright.”

“…Even so, I’m still the cause of it.”

“Hey, Han Jaeyoon.”

“Yes.”

“…Don’t misunderstand.”

As I slowly opened my eyes, Kim Seokhwan’s visibly uncomfortable expression entered my vision.

Like me, who kept struggling to apologize, he repeatedly opened and closed his mouth several times before finally speaking.

“I’m the one who let you escape the center. Not you. I’m the one who made that decision fully aware it could create conflict with Kwon Yiyul because I was sick of seeing cracks form within the team.”

“…Then why would you do that? If you had just stayed out of it — no, if you’d never proposed it to me in the first place — none of this would’ve happened.”

“…So what? You expected me to just keep watching that?”

“…What?”

Kim Seokhwan, who had silently listened until now, suddenly undid several buttons of his shirt.

He loosened the tie constricting his neck and rubbed at his deeply furrowed brow before even running a hand through the carefully styled hair he usually maintained.

“You get cursed at, and you just accept it. You get hurt, and you just let it happen. And I’m supposed to sit there watching all of that? Besides, every time something involves you, that bastard Kwon Yiyul looks like he’s halfway out of his damn mind. You think I could just watch that with my eyes open?”

“That’s my own problem, so it’s not something you need to concern yourself with—”

“Yeah. Exactly.”

“……”

“And that’s exactly why it pisses me off.”

After wiping away the tears soaking both cheeks, the skin around my swollen eyes quickly reddened further.

Kim Seokhwan watched silently before pulling a handkerchief from inside his jacket and placing it on the table.

A silent order not to wipe my face with my sleeves like an idiot.

“You know, Han Jaeyoon… I hate disorder more than death itself. Order becomes discipline, and discipline becomes law. If laws — things meant to be upheld above all else — keep breaking down because of impurities like you, what do you think will happen to the center?”

“……”

“And let me make one thing absolutely clear, since you seem confused. I didn’t help you escape purely for your sake.”

“…Then why did you help me?”

“Who knows. Maybe I wanted to test something.”

Impurity.

The brief belief that he had sympathized with my situation shattered instantly.

Kim Seokhwan clicked his tongue with genuine exhaustion written across his face.

“At first, I thought removing Kwon Yiyul from your side would solve everything. I figured if you disappeared, that monster would go back to normal. Him acting like himself again would still be annoying, but you know it too, don’t you? Ever since you entered the center, Kwon Yiyul started acting strangely.”

“……”

“But I was wrong. The moment you disappeared, the bastard who usually just smirked and acted relaxed completely lost his mind.”

“……”

“I don’t know why, and honestly I don’t care enough to find out. But if we want to calm that monster down, we need another solution. Of course, since I did help you escape, I bear some moral responsibility. So injuries like this are naturally something I should accept.”

“…So what you’re trying to say to me is…”

The handkerchief Kim Seokhwan handed over carried no scent at all.

Nothing brushed against my nose except emptiness.

Colorless.

Odorless.

Just like the dry gaze he directed toward me.

“Han Jaeyoon, you need to stay beside Kwon Yiyul from now on.”

“……”

“Your existence irritates me, that’s true. But comparing Kwon Yiyul with you around versus without you around… having you there is better. It’s like temporarily putting a leash on a rabid dog that charges around without fear.”

“……”

“Though admittedly, that leash looks flimsy as hell.”

A leash.

And apparently, a weak one at that.

What a disgusting comparison.

My heart pounded violently against my ribs.

Of course, just as he said, I had already decided to stay beside Kwon Yiyul until the day I died.

For the safety of the shelter residents.

For everyone connected to me.

Even for the civilians who relied on Kwon Yiyul’s abilities.

For all of it.

But there was a clear difference between making that decision myself and having someone else force it onto me like unsolicited advice.

“…May I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Why are you so obsessed with Kwon Yiyul’s condition? Both now and before.”

Honestly—

It pissed me off.

“Even if you’re teammates, from what I’ve seen your relationship isn’t exactly smooth. So why go this far just to suppress him?”

“…You seriously have to ask?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I’m asking because I genuinely don’t know. I may have survived long enough by reading people’s moods that nobody’s ever called me tactless, but I still can’t understand what either of you are actually thinking.”

I felt ashamed for ever feeling guilty toward someone like him.

Ashamed for sincerely worrying about him even for a moment.

If this had happened back when I first entered the center, I probably wouldn’t have even managed to control my expression.

My face would’ve turned red from humiliation instantly.

No — I might’ve even stood up and grabbed Kim Seokhwan by the collar for saying something so awful directly to my face.

“Obviously for the safety of civilians.”

“That’s such a painfully predictable answer.”

“The closer something is to the correct answer, the more cliché it tends to sound. But what’s with you today? You’ve been treated like this countless times already, so why are you suddenly arguing back so much?”

“…Who knows.

I don’t understand myself either.”

Perhaps because pain flared from the wound, Kim Seokhwan suddenly grabbed his eyepatch and let out a short groan.

I watched him with detached eyes before preparing to stand.

“Wait.”

His hand tightened firmly around my wrist, insisting he wasn’t finished speaking yet.

I crushed the soft handkerchief in my palm before tossing it carelessly onto the table.

The moment I shook his hand off my wrist, that same dumbfounded expression I’d already seen three times today appeared yet again.

“You don’t need to worry about Kwon Yiyul. We already settled the contract verbally, and more importantly… I no longer feel like leaving the center anyway. Just as you said, there’s more benefit than loss in this relationship, so I’ll learn to read the room and keep him satisfied from now on.”

“…Hey, Han Jaeyoon.”

“It seems we’ve finished discussing everything. I have a mountain of work waiting this afternoon, so I’ll excuse myself now. Sorry for taking your time.”

That settled it.

Every question had been answered.

And whatever guilt I felt toward Kim Seokhwan had been completely washed away.

Kim Seokhwan called Kwon Yiyul a monster, but from the perspective of an ordinary person like me, the two of them weren’t all that different.

The pot calling the kettle black.

That was exactly what this felt like.

A twisted form of self-loathing.

And Kim Seokhwan’s hatred toward Kwon Yiyul seemed rooted far deeper than I originally thought.

“Ah, and if you need Guiding, feel free to call me anytime. Though with Choi Siram around, I’m not sure whether my turn will even come.”

Watching him pile up excuse after excuse while pretending otherwise felt almost laughable.

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