Chapter 1: It Started With Him

Go Kangeun never had a girlhood.

That sparkling time of crying and laughing over small things, she never had it.

When Kangeun was seven, her mother closed her eyes for the last time.

The death of her beloved mother didn’t quite register with the young Kangeun.

She simply fiddled with her favorite doll next to her collapsed father.

[Kangeun-ah, you can never… never see Mom again.]
[Why?]

Instead of her father, who burst into tears, unable to answer the innocent question, other people explained her mother’s death to the young Kangeun.

She had a vague understanding of what it meant to die.

But she couldn’t comprehend her father Seongho’s words that she would never see the mother she saw every day.

That’s how distant the concept of death felt to a seven-year-old child, so Kangeun didn’t cry at her mother’s passing.

Kangeun began to cry out loud from the second day of the funeral.

[Dad, sob, Daddyyy….]

Her father, the most wonderful firefighter in the world, had been Kangeun’s pride.

But seeing that same father, with a scraggly beard and bloodshot eyes, tearing at his hair and wailing, was strange and frightening.

However, Seongho didn’t soothe his crying daughter.

He just held Kangeun tightly and cried even louder than she did, not wiping her tears or tidying her disheveled hair.

Her father had changed.

The father who had once been so big he could lift Kangeun high up and play airplane with her began to act more like a child than Kangeun herself.

Far from taking care of Kangeun, he would wake up several times during the night and just crawl around the room, crying.

He didn’t even think to wipe away the drool and snot that ran down his face as he wailed.

[Hyoseon… sob, Hyoseon-ah….]

The love of the man who cried his wife’s name every night until he fell asleep had lost its way.

Thirsty for an affection that would never return, the man kept alcohol by his side instead of his wife.

The man who was like a great tree shriveled and withered day by day after losing his love.

[Dad, don’t cry. Kangeun is right here.]

Every night, Kangeun would stroke her father’s bristly beard as he slept drunk, brush his dry,

parched cheeks, then move the liquor bottles rolling beside him and lie down in their place.

She would cover her father, who had cried himself to sleep, with a blanket.

Then she would quietly slip into her father’s arms and sing the lullaby her mother used to sing her.
It was a song for her father, and also a song for her still-young self.

Time passed as her small hands patted and soothed her crying father.

By the time she came to understand the meaning of death, she had already grown accustomed to her mother’s absence.

Kangeun’s childhood ended just like that.

****

“You must be Kangeun?”

Kangeun, who was washing her indoor shoes with her bobbed hair tied back tightly, put down the toothbrush she was holding.

It was the first morning after summer vacation.

It was the day the twelve-year-old Kangeun met Miryeong, the woman who followed Seongho in after he returned from a week at a construction site.

“Oh my, you’re so pretty, aren’t you?”

“Kangeun, you should say hello. She’ll be staying with us from today.”

The woman’s name was Miryeong.

Kangeun bowed politely.

“Hello.”

“Yes, hello. Were you washing your shoes? Our Kangeun is so responsible, isn’t she?”

The woman seemed to have a habit of speaking with a nasal tone at the end of her sentences.

“No matter how responsible you are, you’re still young. Kangeun-ah! You must have been so scared being all alone when your dad wasn’t here!”

“Uh… I’m okay.”

“Oh my, what do you mean okay? The world is such a scary place! This is really too much of you! Leaving such a pretty daughter all alone?”

Kangeun found the woman’s fussy tone and intonation fascinating.

Her expressions were also rich, blinking her deeply creased eyelids and scrunching her nose, and the way she clapped her hands and stomped her feet made her seem like an actress from TV.

“That’s why I’m asking you.”

“Well, Kangeun will be hitting puberty soon. What do you know about girls to raise a daughter alone? She’ll start her period soon, her chest will start to develop. Then you’ll have to get her underwear, there’s so much to teach her, you think there’s only one or two things to do? What can you do when you’re always away from home to earn money.”

“Right. That’s why I said I wouldn’t charge you rent. Just take good care of our Kangeun.”

“Trust me. You just focus on bringing home the money.”

Seongho, who had been a firefighter, quit his job after his wife’s death and lived soaked in alcohol.

He wasted away his time, crying while clutching his wife’s photo.

Then, from last year, when a somewhat grown-up Kangeun began to prepare Seongho’s meals, he belatedly came to his senses and started wandering from one construction site to another across the country to earn money.

So Kangeun was always alone.

That’s why she was a little excited about Miryeong’s arrival.

Her memories of her mother, who had passed away when she was young, had long since faded, and she was simply thrilled to have someone else in the house.

“It’s a bit much to be called ‘Mom’ by a twelve-year-old when I’m only twenty-eight. So just call me

‘Unni’. Okay?”

“…Yes.”

“Oh, but then the family tree gets a little weird, doesn’t it? Honey, what should we do?”

The woman, who was laughing heartily, seemed to bear no ill will.

Kangeun looked down at the red enamel sandals Miryeong was wearing.

They looked just like her.

The cheap sandals were shoddy if you looked closely, but to the young Kangeun’s eyes, they just looked shiny and pretty.

“What do you mean, what should we do? Even if I died and came back to life, you and I would never be tied by a family tree. Kangeun’s only mother is our Hyoseon. You and I will never share a bed either. I don’t see you as a woman.”

“There you go again. You never know what might happen….”

“I made myself clear. I brought you here because you, with nowhere else to go, said you’d be a good aunt to our Kangeun. If you’re going to say strange things to the kid, get out.”

“Aish, alright, alright. Kangeun-ah, then call me ‘Imo’. Let’s get along, okay?”

Overwhelmed by Seongho’s fierce demeanor, Miryeong pulled Kangeun’s arm and hugged her.

And from that day on, Miryeong began to stay in the small room of the yellow-gated house where Kangeun lived.

Seongho, after spending the weekend with Kangeun, went back down to the provinces to work again.

Miryeong, who said she met Seongho while working at a dabang¹ near the construction site, claimed she couldn’t do anything besides make coffee.

Nothing changed in Kangeun’s day.

She would wake up in the morning, make a simple meal, do her homework and chores, and when the time came, she would wash the rice and set it to cook again.

But every day of sitting across from someone to eat a meal was new, and that alone was satisfying.
She didn’t wish for anything more.

“Kangeun-ah, is this all there is for side dishes?”

“…Yes.”

“Gosh, how can a person live on just fried eggs and kimchi scraps every day? Don’t you feel like your mouth smells of chicken?”

“I’m fine with it…”

“No. Nutritionally, eggs every day is a bit much. How about trying a meat dish? Not necessarily beef… but pork! It’ll be as easy as a fried egg since you just have to grill it. Huh?”

Even after a few days, there wasn’t much conversation with Miryeong other than awkwardly smiling at her complaints about the unchanging side dishes, but that was a relief.

Kangeun, who had spent much of her time alone, found it incredibly difficult to carry on long conversations with others.

Then one day, Miryeong, who would usually come into Kangeun’s big room after waking up and watch TV or flip through magazines all day, left the house early in the morning.

“Don’t wait for me, eat lunch first. Got it?”

Miryeong returned late in the afternoon.

But she wasn’t alone.

Behind Miryeong, who appeared with a large suitcase and a couple of bags, a small child peeked out.

“Say hello. This is Siheon. Yoon Siheon.”

While Miryeong introduced the child, Kangeun’s gaze, blinking in confusion, was fixed on him.

“He’s going to live with us starting today. He’s five years younger than you, Kangeun, so you have to get along. Alright?”

“…He’s seven years old?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“No, it’s just…”

To the young Kangeun, the girl with thick, long hair tied back messily looked incredibly small.
Never mind seven, the child was so petite it seemed they could barely be five.

The child was beautiful like a doll.

The jet-black hair and snow-white skin reminded her of a princess from a fairy tale book.

The same went for the stubbornly closed red lips.

A round forehead, dark and pretty eyebrows, inner double eyelids that were only revealed when the eyes closed, large and long eyes, a small yet high nose—they were all gathered exquisitely on the tiny face with the dainty lips.

While Kangeun was observing the child, the child was also watching Kangeun with a gaze mixed with caution and curiosity.

While the two children couldn’t take their eyes off each other, Miryeong lifted a small bag and stepped up onto the wooden floor.

“I’ll put Siheon’s things here, okay? And Auntie will move your things to the small room, Kangeun.”

“What?”

“From today, Auntie will be staying in the big room. You were scared staying in the big room alone, right? Auntie will decorate the small room prettily. It’ll be nice and not scary if you and Siheon sleep together in that room, right? Oh my gosh! That sounds like so much fun!”

Kangeun briefly glanced back at Miryeong, who was bustling about putting Siheon’s things in the small room and unpacking her own in the big room, then extended a hand toward Siheon, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off her.

“I’m Go Kangeun. You can call me Unnie.”

“…”

“Your name is Siyeon, right? Siyeon-ah, have you had lunch?”

“…”

“Should Unni make you a fried egg?”

It was when Kangeun, feeling puzzled by the child’s silent stare, just blinked her eyes.

“He can’t speak.”

Kangeun’s eyes widened as she turned to the voice coming from behind her.