Chapter 3: The Day He Smiled

“By any chance, did Siheon’s mom, I mean, aunt, tell you not to cut your hair?
Did she say you shouldn’t?”

The child blinked as if thinking deeply, then slowly shook his head.
It seemed she had just neglected him, finding it bothersome to trim his hair on time.

“Siheon, your hair is longer than Noona’s.
This makes you look like a girl.
Our Siheon isn’t a girl.
Right?
Siheon has to go to school next year, what if his friends think he’s a girl?”

Could it be that he was suddenly worried?
Looking a bit sullen, Siheon raised a hand and started picking at the skin on his lips.
It was a bad habit that appeared whenever Siheon felt anxious.
Kangeun reached out and held Siheon’s hand tightly.

“You know, there’s a hair salon just a little way from here?
Should we go and ask them to cut our Siheon’s hair nicely?
Siheon is so handsome, he’ll look even cooler with a haircut.”

Kangeun smiled, watching Siheon who was moving his small mouth.
Siheon’s black eyes were fixed on Kangeun’s hand holding his, sparkling.

“Let’s go.”

Kangeun opened the kitchen drawer where her dad always kept money, took out a bill, and left the house with Siheon.
Miryeong wouldn’t call for her until dinnertime anyway.

At least she called for her sometimes; the only time Miryeong called for Siheon was when he did something wrong.

“Yoon Siheon!”

Miryeong, shouting with her eyes glaring fiercely, was scary even for Kangeun to see.

Kangeun hoped Siheon would get scolded less by Miryeong.
To do that, she thought it would be better for him to be clean.
If he cut his hair, it would be much easier to wash and dry, and he would look neater.

“Should we buy ice cream after the haircut?”
“…”
“Don’t tell me, you don’t know what ice cream is either?”
“…”
“Later, Siheon, you can pick your own ice cream.
Noona is going to get a Screw Bar.
A Screw Bar is, like, strawberry flavored…”

Explaining her favorite ice cream, Kangeun held Siheon’s hand and walked down the alleyway of the summer afternoon, bathed in a yellowish light.
She was unbearably happy to have a younger brother to take care of, to have someone who listened to her stories.

A short while later, on their way back after the haircut, Kangeun bought Siheon an ice cream.
After much thought, Siheon chose the same one as Kangeun.

“You look cool with a haircut.
Siheon, I think you’re really handsome.”
“…”
“Looking at you like this, anyone can tell you’re a boy.
Really.
You look brave.”
“…”

Kangeun held out her ice cream to Siheon, who was touching the ends of his shortened hair, clearly feeling awkward.

“Try it.
Go on.
Before it melts.”
“…”
“If it melts, it’ll all drip down.
Ah, I’m not scolding you for dripping.
We can wash the dirty clothes, and we can wash the sticky hands.
It’s just a waste for the delicious ice cream to disappear.”

At Kangeun’s words, a hesitant Siheon opened his small mouth.
Forgetting that her own ice cream was melting, Kangeun watched Siheon eat his very first ice cream.

“…”
“How is it?”
“…”
“It’s cold, right?
But it’s delicious, right?
Sour and sweet, right?
It’s exactly like Noona said, right?”

Siheon, who had been blinking his large eyes as if in shock, lifted his head and looked up at the much taller Kangeun.
And the moment their eyes met, Kangeun too couldn’t help but gasp, her large eyes wide open.

Siheon was smiling.
His face, with his eyes folded prettily, his deep dimples, and the ends of his thinned lips curling up softly, was so beautiful.
Seeing his smiling face for the first time, Kangeun soon burst into laughter as well.

“See!
It’s delicious, right?
It’s even more delicious if you eat it like this.
You try it too, Siheon.”

The two children’s steps were slow as they walked home, holding the sticks with their sticky hands and licking the ice cream by spinning it around.

On a summer evening with cicadas crying so loudly it hurt their ears, the lips of the two children, holding back smiles, were stained red.

And just like that, three years passed.
It was when the middle-schooler Kangeun, holding Siheon’s hand and carrying tofu and bean sprouts, was entering the gate of their house.

“Am I crazy?
To like a man who’s seven years older?”

Entering the house, Kangeun flinched at Miryeong’s voice coming from the big room.

“Hey, don’t even talk about it.
I’ve tried everything!
But he won’t even look at me.
Not even a stone Buddha would be like that.
That man, I wonder if he’s even got a proper d*ck.
Yeah!
I haven’t even seen it!”

Her voice, full of irritation, flowed unfiltered through the wide-open door.
She seemed to be painting her toenails while talking on the phone in front of the fan, as her straight toes and busy hands were visible.

Kangeun knew that Miryeong was trying to get on her father’s good side.
But Seongho gave Miryeong no room at all.
Perhaps annoyed by that, Miryeong began to bad-mouth Seongho in earnest.

“He barely comes home, saying he’s earning money.
When he does, he sleeps in the small room with his daughter.
He doesn’t even come near me, so what am I supposed to do.
I don’t know, he’s still at an age where he’s boiling over, so he must be releasing it somewhere.
But it doesn’t seem like he’s seeing another woman.
Maybe he jerks off to his dead wife’s picture?
How should I know?
I’m just grateful I get to live in the big room for free.”

A sneer was mixed in with her cackling laughter.
Kangeun pretended not to hear, pressed her lips together, and crossed the yard towards the kitchen.
Siheon also put down his bag to wash up and headed to the bathroom in the corner of the yard.
The well-equipped bathroom in front of the big room had long since become a space for Miryeong’s exclusive use.

“It’s already been three years.
Thanks to that idiot ahjussi, I’ve lived comfortably.
The daughter of this house is incredibly responsible.
I didn’t even realize time was passing while eating the meals she makes, you know?
Yeah.
I should start looking around now too.
I can’t live like this forever.
Where?
Well, isn’t that place too much of a backwater?
Really?
Tell me in detail.”

Kangeun tried to ignore Miryeong’s voice, which she could hear even if she stood still, and washed her hands.
Even though they lived together, Miryeong left all the housework to Kangeun and didn’t even clean her own room, but Kangeun didn’t want to think badly of her, as she was still Siheon’s mother and someone she lived with.

Of course, there were times when she got angry.
She disliked her a little when she spoke harshly to Siheon or got annoyed with him.
Every time, Kangeun would shield Siheon, who was listening to the harsh words with his gaze lowered, take him to their room away from Miryeong’s eyes, and try to cheer up the dejected Siheon.

“You were trying to help me, right?
Noona knows everything.
Thank you.”

“Don’t take what Imo said to heart.
She must have been upset about something.
But no matter how upset she is, she shouldn’t treat you like that, Siheon, um…
Anyway, Siheon-ah, you’re not useless.
Absolutely not.
You’re such a big help to Noona just by being here.
Really.”

“Wow, your handwriting is so neat and pretty, Siheon.
Out of all the elementary school students I’ve seen, your handwriting is the prettiest.”

“Should we put the test you got a perfect score on over here?
Good job.
You could have made a mistake, but you checked it carefully.
Siheon-ah, what do you want to eat for dinner?
Should I make you soy-sauce-braised eggs?”

Not long after Siheon came to Kangeun’s house, his gaze, which had only followed Miryeong, shifted to Kangeun.
At first, his black eyes had looked at her absently, but at some point, a persistence was added.
However, Kangeun didn’t find it unpleasant.

Kangeun liked how Siheon’s eyes, which only looked at her, would sparkle with joy at a single word of praise from her.

She liked having someone who held great affection for her, someone who followed her unconditionally.

So Kangeun too thought of Siheon as a younger brother and cared for him with all her heart.

It felt like she had gained another family member to fill the void left by her mother who passed away early and her father who was often away from home.

“Done…”

After washing the rice and bean sprouts, Kangeun headed to her room to change out of her school uniform.

Miryeong’s voice, now speaking quietly unlike before, could be faintly heard through the closed door.

It seemed she was a little excited, though Kangeun didn’t know who she was talking to or what about.

“Siheon-ah, today’s homework log…”

Stepping into the room, Kangeun saw Siheon, freshly washed, sitting with a book open at the dining table, and he looked up.

It was the table that Kangeun and Siheon used together as a desk.

“Are you already doing your homework?
Let’s see, is there anything Noona needs to help you with?”

“Ah…”

Siheon started to make a sound but stopped, glancing behind her.
It seemed he was checking the closed door of the big room across the yard.

“Imo is busy on the phone right now.
It’s okay.”

“…This.
I don’t really get it.”

“Are you sure you don’t get it?
You’re not pretending not to know when you actually do?”

“…It’s confusing.”

Knowing that Siheon liked studying with her, Kangeun played along even though she knew the truth.

There was no way a child who could solve much more difficult problems couldn’t solve his school homework.

Siheon was a truly smart kid.

Recently, Siheon had started talking, but only when he was alone with Kangeun.

Kangeun was incredibly happy and delighted by this change.

But because of Siheon’s strong insistence that he didn’t want to talk to anyone else, she kept it a secret from everyone.

The day Siheon first called out to her, Kangeun was so surprised that she hugged him and cried.

The image of him running to her shouting, “Noona!” and the way he had clung to her waist in a tight hug were still vivid in her mind.