Chapter 105: A Rusted Trap Around the Heart

A fist clenched over his chest trembled violently.

He was gripping so hard his knuckles had turned white.

He slammed the floor again and again with his fist.

A desperate scream poured down over it, and surging tears soaked into the floor.

“Being a beta is nice.

You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant.”

Eun-gyeol remembered Choi Han-geon’s expression when he heard those words with painful clarity.

How could he ever forget a face that had branded itself onto his mind like a tattoo.

Han-geon had forgotten to hide his emotions and had simply stared at Eun-gyeol in a daze.

His gaze trembled faintly.

He could neither cry nor smile, only stand there blankly, staring.

He had always been good at pretending he was fine, but those words alone had shattered him cruelly.

Choi Han-geon had collapsed in a way that hurt far too deeply.

“You said it was good that I was a beta who couldn’t get pregnant… but now I’m an omega.”

That was what he had said during their last meeting.

With his fist clenched tight, with no expression at all, he had spoken calmly.

What kind of feelings had Choi Han-geon been carrying when he said that.

While bearing a child that Eun-gyeol had forced into him, what state of mind had he been in when he spoke those words.

Eun-gyeol dared not, and could not, fully comprehend it.

He never would.

The words Eun-gyeol had once thrown out carelessly in the past returned intact as a cold trap.

A miserably rusted lump of iron coiled around his heart in an instant and tightened.

Merciless blades dug in, and vivid blood splattered wildly, filling his vision.

Even if his chest were truly torn to shreds, it could not have hurt this much.

With tears dripping down, a beastlike groan leaked out.

Why had he said something like that to Han-geon.

Why.

Why.

Why……

“Ugh… hk… hha… f*ck.”

He felt like ripping his tongue out.

How many times in his life had he spat out words like that at Choi Han-geon.

There were far too many to ever count.

The weight of the years they had spent together came crashing down on Eun-gyeol all at once.

Back when Han-geon’s affection had felt natural and unquestioned, those days had seemed sweet and wistful.

Now they felt monstrously long and unbearably heavy.

Seventeen years meant wielding Han-geon’s love as both weapon and shield.

It was time spent freely swinging his heart around and hurting him.

He would have done anything.

If only he could meet Choi Han-geon again.

If only he could return to three days ago, to the moment they met in front of that gate.

No.

If only he could go back a month, to the moment he faced Han-geon as he trembled in fear while confessing that he had manifested as an omega……

That day, before panicking over the fear of being abandoned, Eun-gyeol should have truly thought about Han-geon’s feelings.

Instead of interrogating him about why he had tried to handle everything alone, instead of getting angry, he should have considered how lonely, frightened, and hurt Han-geon must have been.

Before babbling about taking responsibility, he should have apologized first.

He should never have done that one thing.

He should never have forced himself on Han-geon while he trembled and begged him to stop.

The day he last saw Han-geon was no different.

Before Han-geon cried and begged him to look at him, Eun-gyeol should have first said he was sorry to someone who must have suffered so much.

Instead of clinging and begging that he could not live without him, he should have knelt at Han-geon’s feet and pleaded for forgiveness through tears.

He should have apologized a hundred times.

A thousand times.

Until Han-geon’s heart finally turned back.

Only now did he feel like he understood what he should have done.

Only now did he vaguely understand what kind of feelings had driven Han-geon to demand an apology……

But now, every chance to seek forgiveness had vanished.

Before time that had already flowed past, Eun-gyeol was utterly powerless.

What must it have been like for Choi Han-geon to face the pregnancy alone.

He must have been terrified.

He must have despaired.

Eun-gyeol had been drunk on the sweetness of Han-geon’s consideration, ignorant of his pain.

Even now, Han-geon must resent him enough to want him dead.

While Eun-gyeol lay snug and comfortable like a fetus in a womb, feeding on Han-geon’s love, Choi Han-geon had been alone, carrying Eun-gyeol’s child inside himself and sharing his own nutrients.

Not only Eun-gyeol, but even the child he had forced into existence had been exploiting him, feeding on him like parasites.

Without even realizing it, Eun-gyeol had driven Choi Han-geon to abandon everything and leave.

He had chased him all the way to that distant sea.

So far that even Han-geon’s parents no longer knew how he was doing.

Where might he be now.

He must be suffering terribly.

With the imprint in place, enduring without an alpha’s pheromones would be excruciating……

At one point, Han-geon had been completely broken and ruined by pheromones.

Yet in the end, he had thrown off every shackle and left alone.

Pheromones.

Imprints.

Love.

Family.

Friends.

He abandoned everything he had protected his entire life.

Even so, Eun-gyeol could not deny it.

The suffocating fear pressing down on him alongside his overwhelming guilt.

What did Choi Han-geon think of the child Eun-gyeol had made.

Did he find it unbearable.

Sickening.

Did he think something disgusting that resembled Cha Eun-gyeol was clinging to him.

If… he erased it.

If he erased the last remaining link between them from this world.

If, in the end, Choi Han-geon and Cha Eun-gyeol became perfectly complete strangers with no point of contact at all……

A scream burst out on its own.

He shouted, striking the floor and smashing household items at random.

Anxiety he could no longer suppress turned into desperate, savage destruction.

What filled his throat was not anger.

It was fear.

Fear for Han-geon, who had left alone.

Fear that Han-geon might erase their child.

Revulsion at himself for being endlessly selfish.

“Haah… haah… hhk……”

The truth that nothing he did would change anything descended on Eun-gyeol like a death sentence.

After searching the entire country for a week, he had barely found him, only to return once more to the starting point.

No matter how much he cried like a child, threw tantrums, or broke things, Choi Han-geon would not come back.

He had abandoned someone as selfish as Eun-gyeol and left without hesitation.

At that moment, strength drained slowly from his arms and legs.

Thud.

The sound of his tall body collapsing was hollow and pitiful.

Now, only one person remained in this place.

The one who had brought all of this upon himself.

He clutched the worn belongings Han-geon had left behind and sat there, dazed.

***

“Taekwon!

Instructor!

Thank you very much!”

Small children lined up neatly, shouting in spirited voices.

Han-geon beamed and waved both hands.

Tiny palms took turns slapping against his in high fives.

After greeting each parent one by one, Han-geon was about to climb back into the driver’s seat.

“Instructor, instructor, this.”

A little girl came trotting back toward him.

When Han-geon turned from opening the door, she smiled brightly and pulled two lollipops from her pocket.

She unwrapped one and popped it into her own mouth.

She handed the other to Han-geon.

A refreshing smile curved his lips.

“Jiye, is this for your instructor?”

“Yes.

Instructor… but I have a secret.”

She placed the candy on his large palm, then twisted shyly from side to side with a bashful smile.

She beckoned him closer.

When he leaned down, she whispered something in a tiny voice.

Her mother approached and smiled awkwardly.

“Oh dear.

Instructor, you should get to your car now.

Come on, let’s go.”

“Haha.

It’s okay.

Thank you, Jiye.

Go safely, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes!

Goodbye!”

Despite her brave whisper, Jiye turned away without looking back once her mother came close and scampered off.

Her mother hurried after her.

Han-geon carefully tucked the candy into his inner pocket and got into the driver’s seat.

I like you, Instructor.

I hope I can do taekwondo with you for a long, long time.

Jiye’s whispered voice lingered in his ears.

As he drove toward the taekwondo gym, a gentle smile remained on Han-geon’s face.

It was probably thanks to that sweet little child’s thoughtfulness.

As days passed, the children he taught grew cuter and cuter to him.

He had never disliked children, but carrying one made the feeling stronger.

His gaze naturally followed them.

His heart naturally went to them.

The pickup route was finished for the day.

All that remained was to return to the gym, return the vehicle, tidy up briefly, and finish before the adult class began.

After parking in the building’s lot, Han-geon took the elevator and pressed the button for the fourth floor.

In the past, he would have taken the stairs for exercise.

These days, his body felt heavier, and he chose not to overdo it.

“Oh, Han-geon.

Good work today.

Clean up and head home.”

“Yes, Director.”

It had been just over a month since he started working as a taekwondo instructor.

While drifting from place to place doing short-term work, he had seen a posting seeking a substitute instructor for two months.

From application to interview to acceptance, everything had flowed smoothly.

Since then, he had settled in steadily.

Teaching taekwondo for the first time was genuinely fun.

Unlike his work as a bodyguard, which demanded constant vigilance and harsh physical strain, teaching children softened his heart.

It could be hectic at times, but being part-time kept it manageable.

More than anything, being surrounded by chattering children cleared his mind.

It was not anything as lofty as prenatal education.

It simply felt good.

He liked imagining what the child growing inside him might be like someday.

“Director, I’ll head out first.

I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Oh!

Sure, Han-geon.

Good work.”

After tidying up briskly, Han-geon bowed politely.

The director, old enough to be his father, nodded with a satisfied smile.

Han-geon grabbed his outerwear from the locker room, greeted the instructor arriving for the adult class, and hurried into the elevator.

Today, there was somewhere he needed to stop by before going home.