Chapter 95: Seventeen Years of Certainty

Seventeen years.

That was how long he had been with Choi Han-geon.

Throughout those long years, Han-geon had always been a presence that stirred gentle ripples within his heart.

Each time that boy hurled his entire existence against the surface of his consciousness, Eun-gyeol merely watched the tiny, shimmering glints ripple outward.

It was beautiful.

Every time he looked, it was lovely, and it felt good.

That wasn’t to say Han-geon’s presence was small.

If anything, Eun-gyeol could readily admit it.

The only person who could truly unsettle his heart was Choi Han-geon.

So yes—he was the sole, absolute existence in his life.

Just as it had always been, it was something that needed to remain that way in the future as well.

It had all been almost absurdly convenient.

Life with Choi Han-geon as both his manager and bodyguard.

At times, Han-geon even took care of delicate details Eun-gyeol hadn’t known he needed.

Add to that a physical relationship that fit him perfectly, and the years he’d failed to keep that boy by his side felt like an unforgivable waste.

But that sentiment didn’t last long.

Once Choi Han-geon took on the role of team leader, he may have acted awkward and green in front of Eun-gyeol, but he was completely different when commanding the team.

He was agile and deft.

Naturally, Eun-gyeol liked him far more than any bodyguard he’d had before.

Much more than those idiots who overdid it, stirred unnecessary conflicts with fans, or failed to block dangers that were obvious even to Eun-gyeol’s eyes.

Watching Han-geon work as a bodyguard again after so long made Eun-gyeol feel energized about work itself.

Then a thug suddenly charged at them, and Choi Han-geon stepped in immediately.

Even with a knife-wielding man right in front of him, he flicked his head toward Eun-gyeol first, checking on him before anything else.

The moment Eun-gyeol saw those eyes filled entirely with concern, a heavy surge of emotion boiled up from the pit of his chest.

Even after subduing the man, Han-geon’s worry didn’t fade.

Seeing him fuss over Eun-gyeol without even realizing he himself was bleeding reignited the lust that had flared just moments ago.

In front of those trembling eyes, any talk of fear or danger vanished instantly.

So he dragged him into the van and touched him.

Mouthing protests while willingly yielding himself into Eun-gyeol’s hands.

Touching him.

Indulging in him.

Savoring him.

Han-geon’s face—flushing prettily, smiling and crying under his touch—was beautiful.

He wanted to keep looking.

He wanted to keep touching, licking, sucking endlessly.

Everything was perfect, right up until that clueless bastard Kim Geonho interrupted over the radio.

Why were there so many idiots like Yoo Junseong around, always ruining the mood.

He’d planned to brush it off as nothing more than a thrilling little incident, but then something strange happened.

–Hyung?

Han-geon hyung?

Suddenly, he was furious like a madman.

At Kim Geonho’s voice—casually calling him “hyung,” throwing away the proper, professional title he should have used.

Strangely enough, it felt like the part of him that regulated anger had broken lately.

He liked monopolizing Han-geon’s attention once it entered his domain.

Of course he did.

It was only natural.

But that boy kept expanding his territory, trying to distribute that attention to useless bastards around Eun-gyeol.

That was unbearably irritating.

So he lashed out more than necessary.

He grabbed the boy who had turned pale and was trembling, pounding into him like a madman and tormenting him.

He admitted it—he lost his reason watching Han-geon fall apart.

The contrast between the man who had stood neat and vigilant, protecting him flawlessly moments earlier, and the one now beneath him, sobbing and moaning, was enough to drive anyone insane.

Even while drowning in heat and pleasure, a faint question lingered in his mind.

No matter how much he denied it, he was confused.

Was there really a reason to be this angry?

Sure, he’d never liked the bastards circling around Han-geon.

But until now, his anger stemmed from them trying to steal Han-geon’s attention and the time he spent with him.

From their audacity to wedge themselves shamelessly between him and Han-geon.

But this time, Kim Geonho hadn’t crossed that line.

He’d been nothing more than a momentary interruption.

Whether he chatted over the radio or not, the Han-geon beneath him was entirely his.

And yet, he was furious.

Because Han-geon had slapped his hand away coldly afterward—
But answered Kim Geonho in a gentle voice.

Even after finishing the call, the warmth lingering on Han-geon’s face as he replayed that conversation was nothing like the expression he’d just aimed at Eun-gyeol.

So in the end, he snapped.

The moment he saw Han-geon getting angry and insisting Yoo Junseong and Kim Geonho were different, the words spilled out on their own.

That it was nice he didn’t get pregnant and was sturdy.

The instant he heard that, Choi Han-geon froze.

Despite normally hiding his emotions well, the shock was too great—he couldn’t even conceal the hurt on his face.

Still, he wrapped that wound in a brief silence.

And that was it.

After steadying himself, he suggested going outside.

He stormed ahead as if angry, but perhaps remembering the earlier attack, he came back and silently took position at Eun-gyeol’s side.

After that, it was as though nothing had happened.

They resumed filming.

Choi Han-geon stayed close, serious-faced, protecting him at all times.

He approached him between takes, taking meticulous care of him as usual.

That was all.

Nothing had changed.

He wasn’t the type to turn away over something like that.

In truth, Eun-gyeol knew better than anyone that it wasn’t just Han-geon’s body that was strong—his heart was too.

Choi Han-geon was that kind of person.

No matter how viciously attacked, he’d shake it off and continue to care for Eun-gyeol.

Someone who belonged to him alone.

And yet.

An unprecedented sense of unease wriggled inside him, sprouting roots.

No matter how much he tried to ignore it or trample it down during work, the seed named regret stubbornly pushed itself up within Eun-gyeol.

It was strange.

He didn’t need to say it that harshly.

Sure, it was true that Choi Han-geon didn’t get pregnant and was sturdy.

But more than anyone else, Eun-gyeol himself knew that wasn’t the only reason he slept with him.

Watching Han-geon silently drop him off and drive away, that uneasy feeling grew heavier.

Even after bathing, even after drinking wine, it only deepened instead of fading.

This deeply unpleasant sensation was unfamiliar to Eun-gyeol.

Choi Han-geon wouldn’t distance himself over something like this.

So it was fine.

He repeated it like a mantra, burying his face into the pillow.

He tossed and turned in the darkness for hours.

Come to think of it, had there been a night recently when he’d gone this long without sleep.

After tangling with Han-geon, holding his body—cooler than his own—it had always been astonishingly easy to fall asleep.

A night without Choi Han-geon, for the first time in a while, was absurdly long.

The sudden insomnia and the lukewarm emotions clinging like leeches, no matter how he tried to shake them off, were all irritating.

After hours of tossing and turning, Eun-gyeol was forced to acknowledge this unpleasant unease.

He should placate him.

That was the conclusion he reached.

As usual, he’d go find Choi Han-geon, eat a good meal together, and cling to him all day.

Then that guy would smile again as if nothing had happened.

Even while blushing and acting awkward whenever their bodies brushed, he’d eventually pat Eun-gyeol’s head and offer his lap as a pillow.

But that expectation was spectacularly wrong.

No matter how many times he called, Choi Han-geon didn’t answer.

Since becoming his manager, that had never happened before.

He’d always stayed alert to calls, answering quickly whether it was from the chief manager or Eun-gyeol himself.

And yet, he was unreachable.

Already sharpened from a sleepless night, Eun-gyeol’s nerves grew unbelievably sensitive at his absence.

By the time he came to his senses, he was already gripping the steering wheel, heading toward Choi Han-geon’s house.

He parked hastily and rushed inside, only to find an empty house devoid of him.

From somewhere inside, a phone rang loudly.

He’d left behind both his phone and his watch—where could he have gone.

Could it be that he was hurt by what was said yesterday, and had gone somewhere unknown to him…

“…..”

At that thought, his blood seemed to freeze.

Since Han-geon had left his phone behind, there was nowhere else to try calling.

Gritting his teeth, Eun-gyeol called Han-geon’s parents.

He pretended it was just a casual check-in, but the moment he heard their calm, cheerful voices, he knew.

Choi Han-geon hadn’t gone there.

After hanging up, he tried to settle his chaotic thoughts.

He called the chief manager too, only to be asked what was going on.

He hung up again.

Then another thought crossed his mind.

Han-geon loved exercising—maybe he’d gone out to work out.

Now that he thought about it, he’d seen him leave his phone behind and run to the nearby park before.

Yes, that had to be it…

What followed was something even he couldn’t understand.

If he already had the answer, he could’ve just waited calmly at Han-geon’s place.

He could’ve caught up on the sleep he’d missed.

And yet, like a madman, Eun-gyeol bolted outside and ran toward the park.

The last thread of his rationality was spent on hiding his face beneath a hat and mask.

Choi Han-geon wasn’t at the park.

The anxiety he’d barely managed to control up to that point exploded instantly.

Red-hot flames licked upward, scorching his insides.

The sound of his heart pounding wildly was unbearable, and he clutched his chest.

Just as he thought Han-geon might answer if he called again—

–Hello?

The moment he heard that voice, whatever had been barely holding together collapsed completely.

The raging inferno died down in an instant.

Before even considering the cause or justification of his emotions, Eun-gyeol dashed into the house.

And then he grabbed Choi Han-geon by the collar and rolled with him onto the bed.