Chapter 88: The Trace that Refused to Disappear

“If that isn’t possible, is the baby in danger?”

He didn’t even understand why he’d asked that question himself.

The life he now had to live was one that had nothing to do with Cha Eun-gyeol.

If his existence had once been the reason for living, then now Han-geon had to prove—through Eun-gyeol’s absence—that he had reclaimed ownership of his own life.

And for that to happen, the child he’d made together with him could not be inside his body.

From now on, there was to be no trace of Cha Eun-gyeol left in his life.

Truly, it was a life he could never shoulder alone.

Nor should he.

That was why the question he’d impulsively thrown at the doctor was, in truth, meaningless.

The moment the pregnancy had been confirmed at the obstetrics clinic, he should have made his decision.

He should have clenched his teeth and turned his back on the trace Cha Eun-gyeol had left inside him.

He had come all this way having sworn that he would no longer place anyone else above himself.

Inside his head, a voice kept issuing orders to push forward with the original plan.

Didn’t you leave to stand on your own?

Make a cold, selfish choice—for yourself alone.

If you hesitate any longer, your life will be swallowed up by Cha Eun-gyeol again.

And yet, his feet refused to turn back toward the hospital.

Not because of Cha Eun-gyeol—but because of the tiny presence that had explosively proven its existence.

In the moment he’d heard the heartbeat filling his ears, Han-geon had been completely overwhelmed.

Overpowered by a life force so intense it was frightening.

He had fled with everything he had from the edge of death, only to arrive in the middle of a boundless sea.

A small boat carried his body, drifting aimlessly, with no idea which direction to head.

Unable to do this or that, he stood there like that for several minutes before finally starting to walk forward again.

He didn’t think he could make a decision right now.

He needed time—just a day or two—to think.

In any case, not now.

Not now…

He trudged along and got on a bus.

Judging by the address, the shop seemed to be located not far from Jinwoo’s place.

After getting off at the bus stop and walking a few minutes, he spotted a surf shop right away.

Jinwoo, who happened to be stepping out of the store in a wetsuit, greeted Han-geon cheerfully.

“Geon-ah!

I was just about to head out for a class.

Come join me at the side.”

With a surfboard tucked under his arm, Jinwoo smiled brightly and pointed toward the nearby beach.

Han-geon gave an awkward smile and curled his fingers into his palm.

“Ah, hyung… I’ll just help out on the side.”

“Why?

Worried you’ve forgotten how?

It’s fine—ride a few waves and you’ll get the hang of it right away.”

“It’s not that… I…”

Rejecting the offer was almost a reflex.

The doctor’s words—avoid intense movement—suddenly came back to him with vivid clarity.

Pressing his lips together, Han-geon muttered with an awkward, shallow smile.

“My body’s still… not in great shape.”

Jinwoo’s eyes widened.

“You’re still not feeling well?”

“Yes… kind of.”

“Ah, man.

I shouldn’t have told you to come out.

Geon-ah, want to just go back and rest?”

“No, no, it’s fine.

Then, hyung, I’ll watch the shop while you’re gone.”

“Really?

Hmm… then I’ll leave it to you.

Don’t overdo it, and if you want to go rest, just go in anytime!”

Jinwoo headed toward the beach with several students.

Once inside the shop, Han-geon carefully looked around.

The place wasn’t large, but it was colorfully decorated with surfboards, various gear, paintings, and lighting.

He went behind the counter and plopped down into the chair.

He stared blankly at the beach through the glass window.

Though the heat of summer had faded and the air had grown cooler, there were still plenty of people out surfing.

Beneath the dazzling sunlight, everyone was smiling so brightly it almost hurt to look at.

After watching them for a long while, Han-geon slowly slumped forward over the counter, folding his arms and resting his head on them.

He drifted in and out of shallow dozes while listening to the softly playing music, occasionally looking up to mind the shop.

Even as he tried to empty his head of thoughts that felt ready to burst, his hand kept unconsciously drifting toward his stomach.

Each time he gently rubbed it, he felt a strange, faintly ticklish sensation.

He squeezed his eyes shut, desperately turning away from a feeling that was far too hard to accept.

***

As soon as Jinwoo closed the shop, he dragged Han-geon off to a local pork belly restaurant.

Saying that since a rare guest had come, they had to eat something good.

The meat place, stylishly decorated to appeal to young tourists, was moderately crowded.

Since the peak summer vacation season had ended, Jinwoo said, this was about as busy as it got, smiling cheerfully.

The sizzling sound of meat grilling rang pleasantly in the air.

Just as Jinwoo had boasted, the food was excellent.

After ordering alcohol, Jinwoo popped open a bottle of soju and was about to pour a glass for Han-geon.

“Your body feeling better now?

If you’re okay, let’s have a drink—been a while.”

“…Ah, hyung.”

Han-geon called out hesitantly, forcing an awkward smile.

“I’ll just have soda… I think.”

“Still not feeling well?”

“…Yeah.

A bit…”

Things he’d thought nothing of just last week now made him hesitate.

Pregnancy came with far more restrictions than he’d expected.

Not just intense sports like surfing—even the single glass of soju in front of him felt somehow wrong.

His chest felt so tight it might burst.

Han-geon himself couldn’t understand why he was acting like this.

His reason kept coldly scolding and cornering him.

What’s wrong with you?

Don’t tell me you’re actually thinking of raising the child you made with Eun-gyeol?

But none of this was calculated.

It was purely instinctive behavior.

Even though he couldn’t understand himself, his mouth and body kept moving in unpredictable directions.

“…..”

Jinwoo said nothing.

After quietly studying Han-geon’s face across the table, he gently set his glass down.

The soft clink echoed faintly.

“Geon-ah.”

His voice, unlike the lively tone from before, was calm and subdued.

“You’re really not okay, are you?

This doesn’t seem like just an upset stomach…”

“…..”

“I’m honestly… worried about you.”

There was nothing but sincerity in his concerned voice.

In that moment, Han-geon’s chest tightened painfully.

He lowered his head and bit his lip hard.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jinwoo.

Even if Jinwoo said it was fine, Han-geon was planning to find his own place soon anyway—and if they lived together even for a few days in the meantime, Jinwoo would probably catch on.

He couldn’t hide it forever from someone who’d been this kind to him.

But saying the word pregnant out loud took far more courage than he’d imagined.

After wetting his lips several times, Han-geon let out a short sigh.

He was just about to speak—

“…Urgh.”

A sudden wave of nausea surged up violently.

Startled, Han-geon clapped a hand over his mouth and shot to his feet.

Leaving the stunned Jinwoo behind, he rushed toward the restroom.

Clutching the toilet, he threw up everything he’d eaten.

Once it was over, the nausea eased somewhat.

Tears welled up reflexively.

After rinsing his mouth at the sink, he was just about to step out when he saw Jinwoo opening the restroom door, his face full of alarm.

“Han-geon, what’s going on?

Why all of a sudden?

Is your stomach hurting?”

“It’s… not that…”

As he tried to speak, dizziness suddenly washed over him.

His vision spun, yellow and black dots scattering before his eyes.

As his body swayed, Jinwoo firmly grabbed him from the side.

“Geon-ah, seriously… what’s wrong with you?

Don’t tell me you’ve got some kind of illness?”

Han-geon managed to open his eyes.

As the dizziness slowly faded, he saw Jinwoo’s face up close.

His eyes, fixed on Han-geon in concern, were red-rimmed in a way that didn’t suit him at all.

“It’s fine.

Whatever it is, it’s fine…”

“…..”

“So just be honest with me, okay?”

Supported by Jinwoo, Han-geon returned to their seat.

In the end, he decided to tell the truth, his head bowed low.

Jinwoo was worrying himself sick, even suspecting illness—he didn’t want to burden him any further.

Han-geon slowly opened his mouth.

In a calm but trembling voice, he confessed: that a lot had happened, that his trait had shifted from beta to omega, and that he was currently pregnant.

All the while, his hands fidgeted with a napkin, the backs of them trembling faintly.

Even after he finished speaking, a long silence followed.

Han-geon couldn’t bring himself to lift his lowered head.

He was afraid to see Jinwoo’s face.

Like Han-geon himself just a few months ago, Jinwoo was a beta male who had probably never even imagined the word pregnancy applying to someone close to him.

They had also worked together for years on the same team, sweating and bleeding side by side.

The security team—made up entirely of beta men—had been rough and macho by nature.

Could someone who’d lived and worked in that environment really understand him?

Even Han-geon himself found the word unbearably unfamiliar and awkward—how much more so for Jinwoo?

“…Who’s the father?”

Han-geon reflexively looked up.

Confronted with Jinwoo’s flushed face, he couldn’t help but flinch.

Jinwoo’s voice trembled, heavy with anger.

Veins bulged harshly over his clenched fist.

“That bastard—no, that person.

Does he know you’re here like this?”

“…..”

“No, seriously, I never even dreamed you were suffering like this.

I saw you managing Cha Eun-gyeol, saw how hot you were on YouTube—I thought, damn, this guy really made it.

You liked him that much, and in the end you achieved your dream.

I was happy for you…”

Jinwoo trailed off.

Slowly, his gaze toward Han-geon filled with shock.

Staring as if he couldn’t believe it, he stammered on.

“…No, wait.

Hold on.”

“…..”

“That guy… isn’t he a dominant alpha?”

After holding his gaze for a moment, Han-geon dropped his head again, avoiding Jinwoo’s eyes.

The fist resting on his knee trembled faintly.