Chapter 119: Before I Go Home

It had been exactly two weeks since Han-geon had begun staying closely by Eun-gyeol’s side.

In that time, the due date had crept steadily closer, until it was now right in front of him.

Today was the day he had promised to spend a day with his parents at the family home before the birth.

While Han-geon was caring for Eun-gyeol, both families’ parents had been constantly coming and going from the hospital, offering their support.

In the process, Han-geon reached an agreement with his parents that the delivery and postpartum recovery would take place at the family home, and his father immediately went to Han-geon’s goshiwon, vacated the room, packed up all his belongings, and returned.

Under his parents’ worry and insistence, the birth plan Han-geon had prepared in advance—things like the hospital and the home he would need to find afterward—had no choice but to be completely revised.

Even so, Han-geon did not yield when it came to caring for Eun-gyeol.

Everyone worried about Han-geon, who was devoting himself entirely to caregiving despite being full-term, but Han-geon insisted that he would stay by Eun-gyeol’s side until he gave birth and stubbornly endured without moving an inch from the hospital room.

The person who finally persuaded him was Eun-gyeol’s father.

“Han-geon, I’m so grateful that you’re doing this, but… I can’t even lift my head because I feel so sorry toward you.

Your due date is close now.

The doctor said that thanks to you, Eun-gyeol’s pheromone levels have completely stabilized.

So go to your parents’ place and rest for a few days before giving birth, okay?

Please, I’m begging you, Han-geon.”

For the past two weeks, Eun-gyeol’s father had repeatedly urged and pleaded with Han-geon to go rest at his parents’ home, saying he would take over Eun-gyeol’s care.

But Han-geon stubbornly held out, following the doctor’s advice, until Eun-gyeol’s pheromone levels stabilized.

He endured until the doctor, wearing a bright smile, said that Eun-gyeol was recovering successfully and that now all they had to do was wait for him to awaken from his long sleep.

At first, Han-geon had been unable to sleep, plagued by anxiety and delusions, but now his worries had eased considerably.

Han-geon sat in his chair and quietly looked down at Eun-gyeol’s pale face.

It was still small and thin.

But perhaps because the pheromones he had long lacked were finally replenished, he seemed far more at ease than before.

After moving diligently since morning and finishing the task of wiping Eun-gyeol down, Han-geon wiped away the beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

He took a glass of water that Eun-gyeol’s father quickly handed him, drained it, and then sat down beside him.

Suddenly, a strange feeling came over him.

This was probably the last time he would care for him like this.

The doctor said Eun-gyeol would open his eyes soon, so by the time he gave birth and returned, Eun-gyeol would likely have recovered enough to be discharged.

And after that…

“Han-geon, you’re tired, aren’t you.”

Eun-gyeol’s father hesitantly spoke up from beside him.

He still couldn’t quite bring himself to meet Han-geon’s eyes.

Han-geon smiled faintly and shook his head.

“…No.”

“How could you not be tired.

You must be exhausted.

Your body’s heavy, too.”

His heavy tone was filled with boundless guilt.

An awkward silence passed.

While Han-geon kept his gaze fixed on Eun-gyeol’s face without speaking, Eun-gyeol’s father slowly opened his mouth again.

“Han-geon… there’s something I want to say.”

“Yes, Uncle.”

“I know… that you kept moving around, avoiding Eun-gyeol.

But don’t do that anymore.

You’re about to have a baby now.

You shouldn’t suffer any more.

Live comfortably with your parents.”

“…..”

“…Once Eun-gyeol recovers, I’ll persuade him, and we’ll move.”

Not knowing how to respond, Han-geon could only bite down hard on his lip.

A dull ache spread through his chest.

If Eun-gyeol moved away from his family home to somewhere else, then another thread of the bond that had connected him and Eun-gyeol would be cut.

While he had been running away from him, Han-geon had snipped those threads one by one.

Changing his number, changing where he lived, as the stretches of time they were apart grew longer, the threads connecting him to Eun-gyeol snapped again and again.

Even the largest and strongest one went slack and broke the moment he pushed away Eun-gyeol as he knelt and begged, and turned his back on him.

What had once been too numerous to even cut away had now dwindled to only a few.

And yet, Han-geon knew.

No matter how hard he tried or struggled, there were some connections with Eun-gyeol that he could never sever completely.

Things like grapes, the families who had been intertwined since childhood, and the pheromones that bound them as individuals.

And one more thing.

Through this ordeal, Han-geon realized that within his heart existed a solid crystallization he had never noticed before.

Or perhaps it had always existed in a hidden, intimate place, and only now had it revealed itself.

He still did not clearly know what it was.

But as long as that crystal remained lodged in his heart, Han-geon was certain that his bond with Eun-gyeol would never be completely severed.

“Han-geon… I’m so… sorry to you.”

Breaking the long silence, Eun-gyeol’s father spoke again.

“I don’t even have the face to look at you, after you kept observing Eun-gyeol’s mom’s memorial every year.”

“It’s okay.

Uncle, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“…Han-geon.”

“No matter what happens between Eun-gyeol and me, my relationship with you, Uncle, who’s cherished me since I was little, won’t change.”

As he said this, Han-geon smiled.

In truth, both of them vaguely knew that they could never go back to the way things were as if nothing had happened, but neither said it out loud.

Stopping by quietly on Eun-gyeol’s mother’s memorial day without making plans in advance, smiling at the sight of his uncle greeting him warmly from beyond the chrysanthemums, and sharing drinks together…
That would probably be difficult from now on.

Really…

Did it really have to be that way?

He had long prepared himself calmly for parting with Eun-gyeol, believing that although it would be hard, he could somehow endure it.

That was before he reunited with him like this.

But now…

He was growing less and less confident.

There had been days when nothing else mattered and all he wanted, with his whole heart, was for Eun-gyeol to survive.

Now that he had barely passed through those days, the thought that he had to leave Eun-gyeol again left him deeply confused.

What were Eun-gyeol and he supposed to do now.

Were he and Eun-gyeol truly unable to be together forever.

Could he really say that Eun-gyeol, who had wrapped himself around him without a moment’s hesitation at the most dangerous moment, was the same person who had once tormented him so deeply.

“…Then I’ll be going, Uncle.”

Han-geon slowly rose to his feet.

“Alright.

Go and rest.

Sleep well.

And… Han-geon.”

“Yes.”

Eun-gyeol’s father, who had hesitated before speaking, swallowed his words again.

His trembling lips could not produce a sound for a while.

Only after a long time did a tightly constricted voice finally escape his throat.

“The delivery… go well… and later…”

His eyes, lowered toward the floor, were red and bloodshot.

“I really… have no right to ask this of you, but… even much later, just once… even just once…”

“…..”

“…could you show me… the baby… just once… even if it’s only a photo.”

In that instant, a hot lump surged up Han-geon’s throat.

Seeing him bow his head like a sinner even after forcing those words out, Han-geon could not bring himself to refuse.

“…Yes.

I will, Uncle.”

Nodding with difficulty, Han-geon turned away without lingering any longer.

If he stayed there any longer, it felt as though the emotions burning in his chest would burst out in a complete mess.

During the taxi ride home, Han-geon stared out the window with a tangled heart.

Eun-gyeol’s father’s voice echoed in his ears the entire way.

‘The baby… just once, could you show me.’

And alongside it, another voice that hurt as if it were melting his heart.

‘It’s your baby… and mine.

We’re supposed to raise them… together.’

‘I’ll give you and our baby everything I have…’

His hand moved to his belly on its own.

The baby, who had been energetically kicking his ribs earlier, now seemed to have the hiccups, twitching rhythmically.

As he stroked his belly, Han-geon let out a small sigh.

Before meeting Eun-gyeol… he had only known that Eun-gyeol disliked grapes.

Eun-gyeol had never once wanted a child in his entire life.

Han-geon thought he would simply be flustered and tell him to get rid of it.

But instead, Eun-gyeol begged him to let him take responsibility for the child together.

As he knelt and stroked Han-geon’s belly, there was no hatred, annoyance, or confusion in his touch.

Rather, he treated the baby inside him as something incredibly precious and didn’t know what to do with himself.

At the single word “father,” Cha Eun-gyeol froze completely, responding with sincere emotion to that term.

A grape was a being that carried such desperate longing.

To Eun-gyeol and his family.

‘Haa…’

With a long sigh, Han-geon leaned his head back against the seat.

The baby, who had stopped hiccuping at some point, began bouncing energetically inside him again.

Whenever he thought of Cha Eun-gyeol, his chest ached like this, yet the baby seemed delighted.

Maybe that really was what people meant when they said blood doesn’t lie.

He thought that, smiling weakly.

When the taxi arrived at his destination, Han-geon got out.

Just as he was about to head straight into the house where his mother was waiting, his steps came to a halt.

Strangely, his gaze drifted toward the gate of Eun-gyeol’s house right next door.

“…..”

He couldn’t tear his eyes away, as if magnetized.

After standing there for a long time, Han-geon slowly turned toward Eun-gyeol’s house instead of his own.

As if possessed, he walked up to Eun-gyeol’s front gate, hesitated briefly, and then sent a message to Eun-gyeol’s father.

He didn’t know why, but it suddenly felt like he had to do this.

[Uncle.

Is it okay if I go into Eun-gyeol’s room just once?]

The reply came immediately.

There was no need to ask permission, he was told, just go in comfortably.

He hesitated for a moment, but his hand did not falter as he entered the passcode.

Just as Eun-gyeol had once come and gone freely from Han-geon’s family home, Han-geon too had often treated Eun-gyeol’s house as his own.

Stepping boldly through the open door, Han-geon closed his eyes as a familiar scent rushed over him.

The smell of Eun-gyeol’s house.

It felt distant and hazy, like a long-buried memory.

Han-geon moved his feet and slowly headed toward Eun-gyeol’s room.

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