Chapter 3: A Clinging Shadow

“Guan Qing, you said you wanted to break up.”

“My answer is—”

“I disagree.”

His eyes, fixed on Guan Qing, held a bestial intensity, a fierce vulnerability akin to a grand cat, belly exposed, suddenly kicked. It quickly unsheathed its claws in a show of bravado, yet its vast softness remained openly displayed.

“So, you’re not allowed to find anyone else.”

After speaking, he couldn’t even meet Guan Qing’s gaze, fleeing in disarray.

Guan Qing stared at the tabletop for a long time. With a soft ‘plink,’ a single drop of water landed. He fumbled to wipe it away, but more tears came, and only then did he realize he was crying.

It wasn’t entirely due to sadness, though.

‘The way Xie Xu spoke, it must mean he still feels something for me… something different from how he feels about others, right?’

Sometimes, a base thought would creep in: ‘How wonderful if I were just a dog in Xie Xu’s household.’

A dog is inherently humbler than its master. No one would lecture him for ‘climbing the social ladder’ or scold him fiercely for daring to aspire.

He could see Xie Xu day and night. Every day, he’d have nothing to do but accompany him, wait for him. He wouldn’t feel jealous if Xie Xu met, embraced, or kissed others.

He would never leave, either.

He would be a loyal dog. A little water and food would suffice, and sleeping on the carpet wouldn’t matter. He would be immensely, profoundly satisfied if Xie Xu simply hugged him and spoke to him for a while each day.

‘If Xie Xu knew of such a thought, he’d probably be startled.’

He could have been any role by Xie Xu’s side other than a lover, yet he had perversely chosen the most inappropriate, most unsuitable one.

‘So, Guan Qing…’

‘You deserve this.’

****

“Qingqing, when are you and Xie Xu planning to get married?”

Guan Qing’s mother, who had lived alone for many years before finally remarrying recently, was particularly fond of urging others to marry.

Guan Qing ambiguously replied, pressing the TV remote, “We don’t have any plans for that yet.”

His mother, however, smiled sweetly, a hint of playful teasing in her voice. “I know that child Xie Xu… it will definitely happen soon. You might be reluctant now, but don’t regret not marrying earlier after you’re wed.”

Seeing his mother so happy, Guan Qing finally found some psychological comfort. He changed the subject. “Are you still in Hawaii?… Oh, right, Uncle Xu is on a long vacation, so you can play longer. Me? I’m fine…”

Mother and son chatted for a while before Guan Qing’s mother suddenly shifted the topic. “By the way, I heard you changed your phone number? Xie Xu just asked me for it. Did you two have a fight?”

Guan Qing felt powerless. He stared at the television screen, then covered his eyes after a moment, murmuring, “Mom, I… I broke up with him.”

Guan Qing’s mother’s tone instantly turned serious. “How could you treat Xiao Xie like that? How heartbroken he must be!”

Guan Qing silently looked at Xie Xu on the television and said, “Mom, I don’t want to talk about this. I’m sorry.”

The two argued for a while, then Guan Qing hung up the phone. He saw a message from a familiar number:

[Guan Qing, I’m sorry. What I said earlier today was for my mom’s ears. I don’t want to meet anyone she introduces, so don’t mind it.]

‘Don’t mind it?’

‘…It should be ‘don’t take it seriously,’ right?’

Guan Qing typed a few words in his reply, then deleted them, eventually sending only two: [It’s fine.]

Xie Xu on the television was still radiant, perfectly at ease under the spotlight. The host teased him, “Xie Xu hasn’t been filming lately, has he? Busy falling in love?”

Xie Xu, who had just glanced at his phone while the camera wasn’t on him, had a less-than-pleasant expression. He casually gave a few perfunctory answers. The host didn’t mind, smiling as they continued:

“Hearing that Xie Xu is idle, some people can’t sit still… Now, please welcome our mysterious guest for today, a fervent fan of Xie Xu! Everyone, guess who—”

Before the host could finish, their words were drowned out by the enthusiastic shouts of the fans below: “Jiang Lu! Jiang Lu! Jiang Lu!”

The camera cut to the audience, where some held light boards with “Xie Xu” and “Jiang Lu” emblazoned on them. Even more conspicuously, some held heart-shaped light boards reading “Xie Jiang.”

Xie Xu frowned, almost losing control of his anger for a moment. His temper had been worsening lately. He had heard this variety show was quite reputable, and his manager, unable to bear his daily, decadent sorrow of drowning himself in alcohol, had dragged him here. Who knew they would pull such a stunt?

He had always known that some people shipped him and Jiang Lu, but most of those weren’t his true fans, and the commotion was never significant. Most of it was Jiang Lu’s unilateral hype. He considered himself a man with a family and had always tried to avoid such things. He had also never collaborated with Jiang Lu before.

Xie Xu’s face was grim, looking as though he might burst into curses at any second, scaring the director into quickly cutting all cameras to Jiang Lu.

Jiang Lu was a fair-skinned, tall young man, very thin, his body possessing the delicate, soft curves characteristic of an Omega. He had recently released a new drama, and his popularity was soaring, with waves of fan screams erupting.

Jiang Lu smiled and greeted everyone, then sat on the sofa beside Xie Xu. Xie Xu’s expression darkened further. The fans in the audience seemed to realize something, their screams subsiding into murmurs that rose and fell.

Xie Xu frowned because—Jiang Lu hadn’t fully controlled his pheromones, allowing his scent to leak out. Of course, only Xie Xu, being so close, could detect it.

Having lived with Betas for years, Xie Xu had long grown accustomed to constantly suppressing his pheromones and oppressive aura. He had thought it was an Alpha and Omega’s instinct, a social etiquette, to control these in public, but who knew…

Jiang Lu’s pheromone scent was floral. He didn’t know what kind of flower, but—Xie Xu exhaled deeply and said, “It’s cloying.”

He had always been blunt, disliking something meant he simply disliked it.

Moreover, he had once possessed Guan Qing… so how could he find anyone else’s scent pleasant?

The audience was bewildered.

Jiang Lu’s face paled for a moment. The host quickly tried to smooth things over, “Cloying? Is a leisurely life cloying? Hehehe, we all know, Film Emperor Xie is a workaholic, and once didn’t go home for three months because of work.”

Xie Xu shook his head. Jiang Lu interjected, his tone quite aggrieved, “Brother Xu is on vacation, not inviting anyone out to play?”

The fans, both in the audience and online, stirred with a slight commotion.

The host and Jiang Lu played along, teasing, “Oh my, it seems our Jiang Lu can’t wait, after all, he’s Film Emperor Xie’s fervent fan. Xie Xu, when do you plan to invite Jiang Lu out to play?”

The question left little room for evasion. First, it emphasized Jiang Lu’s fan status, and second, the request wasn’t excessive. If Xie Xu refused, he would appear cold and impolite.

Xie Xu thought for a moment, then said, “I will invite him to my wedding.”

Xie Xu was getting married? Before everyone could express their surprise, Jiang Lu blinked and quickly responded, “But I heard you’ve already broken up, so wouldn’t the wedding be a long time from now?” He coughed, then complained softly, “And, can I only attend your wedding as a guest?”

A collective gasp erupted.

The internet instantly exploded, with CP fans celebrating as if it were a major holiday.

His words were extremely ambiguous, and Xie Xu had never told anyone about the breakup. How did Jiang Lu even know?

Xie Xu wished the whole world wouldn’t know, so how could he have told anyone else?

Jiang Lu revealing it so directly was utterly out of line.

Xie Xu felt the anger he had suppressed instantly ignite. He wasn’t inherently a gentle person. He carefully chose his words and said:

“No, you won’t be attending my wedding as a guest.”

Jiang Lu looked at Xie Xu, his eyes shining with deep affection and expectation.

Xie Xu continued, “Because I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided not to invite you after all.”

The host was dumbfounded, quickly trying to change the subject, but saw Xie Xu stand up, the unique aura and oppressive presence of an Alpha exploding instantly. He slowly smiled and said:

“May I ask, who was it that spread rumors and told you I broke up? I think my beloved wouldn’t like you, so you still shouldn’t come.”

“You understand, right? A once-in-a-lifetime wedding is very important to both my beloved and me. I don’t want it to have any flaws.”

His tone was neither harsh nor sharp; it was even quite polite. After speaking, he nodded to the host and said, “Excuse me, I have another engagement, so I’ll take my leave now.”

As soon as he stepped off the stage, his manager rushed forward. “I’m sorry, Xie Xu, I didn’t expect them to be so reckless.”

His expression was flustered and anxious, yet devoid of any anger.

Xie Xu looked at him, enunciating each word. “I’m going to sue.”

The manager wiped his sweat and said, “Okay, I’ll help you contact—”

Xie Xu made a gesture to interrupt him. “I’m going to sue you, Jiang Lu, and this television station.”

“And, you’re fired. By the way, how long have you been colluding with Jiang Lu? Constantly leaking my personal information, collaborating with him to hype me up. How much money did you take from him?” He pinched his brow, shaking his head. “Forget it, I don’t care.”

The manager’s face turned ashen. His lips trembled as he said, “I—I was doing it for your own good! That Guan Qing isn’t even that great, yet you treat him like a treasure… Xie Xu, if you keep messing around with Guan Qing like that, you’ll sink into the ground eventually!”

Xie Xu looked at him with a strange expression. “You think Guan Qing is a burden to me? That Guan Qing isn’t good enough for me?”

The manager stubbornly retorted, “Isn’t it true? Look at your fans, how many of them bless you?!”

As if he had said something ridiculous, Xie Xu twitched his lips. “What use are other people’s blessings? It’s me, not them, who lives with Guan Qing. Also,” he clenched his hand then relaxed it, “it’s clearly me who isn’t good enough for him.”

He looked at his manager, feeling fortunate. “It’s a good thing there are more blind fools like you.”

Otherwise, if everyone discovered Guan Qing’s goodness… where would he stand a chance?

He wasn’t good at all.

Not considerate enough, not attentive enough, not gentle enough; he always made Guan Qing angry. He could give Guan Qing so very little, yet Guan Qing not only didn’t mind but gave him so much in return.

So much that he had to hold it with both hands, afraid of letting anything slip away.

He was like a miserly hoarder, guarding Guan Qing, guarding the treasures Guan Qing had given him. Even a glance from others made him incredibly uncomfortable. And despite having so much, he still felt it wasn’t enough.

He wanted all of Guan Qing.

Perhaps he was too insatiably greedy, and Guan Qing finally… grew tired of him.

Xie Xu no longer bothered with the manager. He walked to the side, opened his phone, and carefully typed, weighing each word: [I don’t know if you watched that variety show just now. What I said on the program wasn’t true; it was a desperate, helpless remark. Please don’t be angry.]

‘The talk about having a wedding was not true.’

‘Even though his venue had been chosen, relatives and officiant arranged, and invitations even written, signed intimately as ‘Xie Xu’ and ‘Guan Qing,’ pressed closely together.’

‘But he had no groom, and it was likely he never would.’

‘How could he dare to force Guan Qing?’

‘He always messed things up, every time he tried to hold on tight, he only pushed him further away.’

‘He feared Guan Qing drifting away, and even more, feared losing him forever.’

‘He was helpless.’

Xie Xu held his phone, wanting to send something more, but then discovered his number had been blacklisted by Guan Qing.

The situation he most feared had still come to pass.

In that instant, Xie Xu felt pain in every part of his body. He slowly bent over, clutching his clothes, his entire being shrinking into a ball, trembling as if unable to bear the agony.

‘Now he truly hates me, doesn’t he?’

‘Xie Xu, you truly are a greedy wretch. You brought this upon yourself.’

****

“No, you won’t be attending my wedding as a guest.”

Guan Qing watched Xie Xu, then saw Jiang Lu’s affectionate gaze, and turned off the television.

‘—They looked so well-matched.’

With trembling hands, he blacklisted Xie Xu, deleting Weibo, WeChat, news apps, and all other related software.

He was terrified.

Terrified of hearing Xie Xu personally declare, “Jiang Lu and I are together,” terrified of seeing their ambiguous news, terrified of seeing their wedding announcement.

The thought of Xie Xu having a child unrelated to him in the future, of him and Jiang Lu taking that child to amusement parks, to school, on picnics…

It drove him mad with jealousy.

‘Admit it, Guan Qing, you’re a selfish, cowardly fainthearted person.’

‘You don’t deserve such a wonderful Xie Xu.’