Chapter 38: The Sweet Allure of Hatred

“Thank you, Senior.”

“I don’t need help. I… I’m not in any difficulty.”

“I’m willing to embrace him, no matter what he becomes.”

The young man’s face before him was tender and unrefined, his eyes carrying a somber gloom ill-suited for his age. Though he should have been in the prime of his bright and cheerful youth, too much burden and suffering had forced him into a silent, sullen demeanor.

Yet, he seemed unwilling to surrender. Even with his entire body trampled into the mud, he struggled to lift his head, as if desperate to prove something.

No one knew, and no one truly cared. Guan Qing remained silent, yet it was a silence woven from a thousand angry words, ultimately converging into a clamorous stillness.

At that time, Guan Qing’s gaze was far from gentle. It was sharp and dark, like a blade.

But Ye Zi found that version of Guan Qing fatally alluring. It wasn’t a radiant beauty, but rather the dangerous, corrupt, and twisted essence hidden beneath his calm exterior that he found irresistible.

Such a Guan Qing made him uncontrollably drawn in. He wouldn’t approach Guan Qing directly, but he observed him every day—through the internet, through the eyes of others, through Xie Xu.

He watched to see how Guan Qing was doing, if he had been bullied again, or subjected to more unfair treatment. Whenever he caught sight of Guan Qing’s suppressed, shadowed eyes, a surge of excitement would ripple through him.

‘Go on, hate this world.’

‘Go on, despise this world.’

‘Go on… destroy this world.’

‘Go and do all the things I cannot.’

Every day, Ye Zi meticulously savored Guan Qing’s every reaction. He was like a gardener watching a flower slowly twist and wither, growing more delighted with each sign of decay in its roots.

The first time he saw Guan Qing, he was reminded of his own mother. That poor woman, whose husband had cheated, whose authority had been stripped away, had finally hanged herself on her eight-year-old son’s birthday, unable to bear it any longer.

Life had long since worn her down, leaving her pale and haggard. The husband she had loved for so long, the career she had built over so many years, had been ruined overnight. Yet, Ye Zi vaguely recalled that her initial expression had also been calm.

She simply tossed her phone to the floor and began to dress and groom herself, almost as if preparing for a date. Finally, she bent down, hugged Ye Zi, and whispered in his ear:

“Your mother is going to die, forced to her death. It’s not that Mommy wants to leave, it’s your father, and that slut… You are my son, Wang Xin’s son. Remember, you carry a blood feud, you carry my life on your shoulders.”

“Son, if you don’t avenge me, I… won’t rest in peace.”

His mother, wearing a red dress, smiled at Ye Zi one last time. Her eyes were dark and sharp, like a blade.

He had been precocious since childhood, and his father was consumed by drink and women. By the summer after he graduated high school, he had largely fulfilled his mother’s ‘behest.’ But then… it still wasn’t enough.

Something, too heavy and arduous, continued to weigh upon him. He had once believed revenge would be an end, but it turned out not to be. He was forced to carry that immense burden forward, unsure where the destination lay.

Then he met Guan Qing.

Sullen, sharp, full of hatred.

That aura was simply too sweet for him.

Under his deliberate guidance and instruction, the unfair treatment Guan Qing received in class grew increasingly severe, and Guan Qing, in turn, developed in the direction Ye Zi had anticipated. Until—

One day, quite suddenly, Guan Qing and Xie Xu began to appear together, and Guan Qing started to change.

He was like a plant that had lingered in a dark, damp place for too long, suddenly transplanted into sunlight. The sun wasn’t so strong as to burn him, but nourishment permeated his branches and leaves, causing him to gradually unfurl.

Ye Zi was furious.

He had initially thought that since Guan Qing had deviated from his initial expectations, he should no longer harbor any abnormal passion or attention toward him.

But in truth, Guan Qing’s allure had not faded; it had, in fact, intensified.

He was willing to call that feeling ‘love.’

That ridiculous thing he had once scorned.

Ye Zi tossed the envelope in his hand into the fireplace, then picked up a damp towel to wipe his hands. He gazed out at the dense fog blanketing the city and murmured,

“There’s a lot you still don’t know.”

“…And you never will.”

****

“The surveillance footage has been deleted.”

Xiao Zhang said, his face pale.

Guan Qing nodded, acknowledging his understanding. To take a letter without alerting anyone in such a short time, they clearly wouldn’t be careless enough to leave clues.

“I—”

Guan Qing covered his eyes, a hint of frustration in his voice.

Xie Xu had written that letter so earnestly; he must have had something important to say. Even if… he could ask Xie Xu himself later, some things, once missed, were simply missed. That included the feelings Xie Xu poured into each word as he wrote them—feelings Guan Qing would never know or touch.

Suddenly, Guan Qing’s phone vibrated. He picked it up to see a link sent by Xie Xu.

Clicking the link prompted a password entry. He typed in ‘Xie Xu’ in Pinyin, half-doubting, and it actually… worked.

Guan Qing: “…”

He had a host of questions for Xie Xu, but the reply came instantly: –Everything I wanted to say is inside. I’m very busy right now.–

The background sounded noisy, as if Xie Xu was at an airport. His voice was low and gentle, resonating in Guan Qing’s ear, making him think he wouldn’t reply again. Unexpectedly, after a moment, Xie Xu added: –That envelope was meant to fool others. It’s probably been taken by now, so don’t feel bad. I was in a hurry when I left and didn’t have time to write anything. Next time, if you like, I’ll write you a love letter every day.–

–…I love you.–

Xie Xu whispered, a hint of bashful laughter in his voice.

Guan Qing paused, then typed: “I love you too.”

Guan Qing was just about to start reading the contents when there was a knock at the door. Remembering the previous incident, Guan Qing nodded to Xiao Zhang, who immediately understood and went to open it.

To their surprise, no one was there, only a bouquet of flowers.

The bouquet was composed of wildflowers, even containing a few weeds, yet it had been meticulously wrapped, tied with an elegant ribbon, making for a beautiful arrangement that was both casual and dignified.

Guan Qing paused, then extended a hand to Xiao Zhang. “Thank you.”

Xiao Zhang looked troubled. “Madam— Pfft, Mr. Guan, these are of unknown origin. I shouldn’t give them to you. If you like them, I can put them in the vase by the door.”

But Guan Qing had a premonition. He shook his head, smiling. “It’s fine.”

That bouquet reminded him of something someone had told him a long time ago. It was on the small lawn at Z University, the sunlight soft but warm, a clear winter afternoon. That person simply sitting there was enough to give him a sense of peace—it was strange, like an instant camaraderie. Though they hadn’t known each other long, he trusted and even relied on that senior immensely.

That person had handed him a June daisy and smiled. “What’s the difference between a wildflower and a cultivated one? If I were to put this wildflower in a vase, nurture it carefully, water it, fertilize it…”

His words were clearly weighted with meaning.

For some reason, seeing that bouquet, this particular scene was the first thing that came to Guan Qing’s mind.

But his relationship with Ye Zi had long since changed. He wasn’t foolish; he had always harbored a vague feeling that Ye Zi wasn’t quite what he seemed.

Regarding Ye Zi, there was still so much Guan Qing didn’t know.

Guan Qing embraced the bouquet, gently touching the blooming June daisies. As he held the flowers, he realized the weight felt off. He tried to lift one of the daisies and found that a phone was tied to its stem.

Xiao Zhang’s eyes widened.

Guan Qing glanced at the ‘In Call’ indicator on the screen, then gestured ‘shhh’ to Xiao Zhang, took the phone, and said, “Hello?”

The other side was silent; not even a breath of wind could be heard.

Guan Qing waited quietly for a moment.

Still, no one spoke.

‘But they can’t continue like this anymore.’

‘Xie Xu is his bottom line.’

‘The power of psychological suggestion is immense.’

“I—”

“I understand what you mean,” Ye Zi said softly.

Ye Zi had always been unhurried and exceptionally poised. Wherever he appeared, he commanded attention, and he was more than capable of bearing every spotlight. He was arrogant, but his arrogance was subtle, never overtly displayed.

Now, however, Ye Zi’s voice had lost its usual calm composure. It was low and languid. “Let’s meet one more time. I won’t do anything.”

Guan Qing was about to reply when he heard Ye Zi add, “Also, you’re very important to me—I mean, I love you.”

His tone was as casual as if he were saying, ‘I went out this afternoon and bought a cabbage.’

Guan Qing held the phone, unsure what to say.

“Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”

Ye Zi chuckled. “Come on, give me a hug. I’m going to visit a patient later, is that okay?”

Guan Qing was silent for a while. Ye Zi said, “Scared? Don’t be so petty.”

“…Alright,” Guan Qing conceded. He had actually been planning to seek Ye Zi out anyway; he had just been pondering the best way to express himself. After all, today was—

“Mr. Guan!” As soon as the call ended, Xiao Zhang sprang from his chair. “No, absolutely not. That Ye Zi, he…”

Xiao Zhang finally realized his words were impolite. He pursed his lips. “Brother Xu explicitly said absolutely not. If you insist on going, I must send someone with you.”

Guan Qing said nothing.

‘Can you… trust me?’

Guan Qing’s hand, holding the phone, was slightly damp with sweat.

He warned himself not to be disappointed, regardless of the outcome. He shouldn’t expect an overnight success; he could take his time.

Even if Xie Xu didn’t believe him, even if Xie Xu was jealous or angry.

But when he clicked on the voice message, his hands were still trembling.

“Keep two bodyguards here. Ye Zi must leave before seven tonight,” Xie Xu’s voice sounded a little sullen as he rambled, “Don’t let him touch you… A hug? Fine, but it can’t be longer than three seconds. Time it on your phone; I’ll check and supervise.”

Guan Qing exhaled.

The dark clouds outside the window slowly dispersed, and his heart, too, lightened and floated with the changing weather, like a soft cloud.

All his previous worries seemed so ridiculous.

Truthfully, he didn’t want to do anything right now. He just wanted to hug Xie Xu, tease the jealous Xie Xu, and take a nap with his precious one.

Guan Qing shook his head, shedding the irrelevant thoughts.

Soon, a person dressed in a delivery rider’s uniform knocked on the door, looking a little curious about the overly luxurious hospital room. Guan Qing paid them and thanked them.

Then, Guan Qing sent a text message to the only number saved on the phone found in the bouquet, asking Ye Zi when he would arrive.

Ye Zi didn’t reply.

After a while, just as Guan Qing began to feel a little puzzled, a photo was sent to his phone.

Guan Qing froze, then opened it. The person in the photo… was his mother.

At first glance, the photo seemed ordinary. His mother was a little tanned, wearing a floral maxi dress, her hair gently pinned up, walking arm-in-arm with her husband on a street in Prague.

Then several more photos arrived, from various angles, following his mother’s journey forward.

Guan Qing broke out in a cold sweat.

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