Chapter 22: Beloved Qing’s Private Kitchen

Guan Qing barely made it, registering for the postgraduate entrance exam just before the deadline. Now, only revision lay ahead.

He had been out of school for a full four years; picking up those subjects again was no easy feat. Yet, given the circumstances, effort was his only recourse.

Guan Qing enrolled in supplementary classes for political thought and English, regularly audited the professor’s lectures, and revised his paper for a competition. His days were consumed by his studies.

Only when Xie Xu’s call came through did Guan Qing briefly emerge from that fervent state.

It had to be said, focusing intently on something truly fostered growth. Guan Qing even found himself somewhat enamored with this routine.

He genuinely did only two things each day: study and breathe. He would study until midnight, then fall asleep instantly, only to wake the next day for classes or reading.

Xie Xu, in a sense, had become his ‘phone pet,’ with them only occasionally chatting or sharing amusing anecdotes from their lives.

Guan Qing found this arrangement quite satisfactory.

Xie Xu remained important to him, but he no longer thought of him the moment he opened a book. He didn’t fret daily about Xie Xu’s whereabouts, his companions, or whether he was smiling at someone else.

Was it that he loved Xie Xu less? Guan Qing didn’t think so.

****

When S City welcomed its first autumn rain, Xie Xu called him, inviting him out for dinner.

“My dearest Mr. Guan, I fully support your dedication to studies, but don’t forget your husband— er, your loyal customer!” Xie Xu exclaimed. “Where is my darling, Boss Guan?”

Xie Xu had let something slip, quickly trying to cover his tracks.

Guan Qing then realized it had been almost a month since he last saw Xie Xu.

Xie Xu’s new film had begun shooting. It was reportedly a low-budget production, entirely filmed within S City. His daily schedule felt more like going to an office, with no need to live on set. After filming, he could even stroll through the night market near his home.

Guan Qing readily agreed to have dinner with him that evening.

Guan Qing’s classes were held in a bustling downtown area. As he emerged from the building, he spotted an SUV parked in the middle of the road.

A man, his face completely obscured by sunglasses, a mask, and a hat, wore a long trench coat. This attire alone was enough to draw attention, but what was even more astounding was that he held up a whiteboard, much like someone picking up an arrival at the airport.

The board read ‘Guan Qing’ with a red heart drawn beside it.

A traffic officer, arms crossed, stood beside the car, which had a parking ticket affixed to its windshield.

Guan Qing: “…………’Was he dreaming, or had Xie Xu gone mad?”

The dense crowd parted for him like the Red Sea, many people pulling out their phones to take photos. A young girl timidly approached.

“Excuse me, are you Xie Xu?” she asked.

The man stared straight ahead, raising the sign higher as if afraid others wouldn’t see it. He grumbled in a muffled voice, “No, is Xie Xu that stupid?”

‘So you know it too,’ Guan Qing thought.

The girl produced a pen and paper. “Oh, then please sign this for me.”

“…” Xie Xu took the pen and paper, signed it, then handed it back with an impatient look. “Go on, go on. I told you I’m not him.”

The girl walked away, perfectly content.

Xie Xu craned his neck, using his height advantage, and immediately spotted the hesitant Guan Qing. He tossed the whiteboard into the car window, then excitedly waved his arm high in the air.

Had it not been utterly foolish, he might have even jumped for joy.

Guan Qing swore that in that instant, almost a thousand people followed Xie Xu’s gaze and turned towards him. The scene was terrifying.

Guan Qing pulled his scarf higher to cover his chin, hands in his pockets, and squeezed through the crowd like a thief to reach Xie Xu’s side. “Don’t make a scene, let’s just—”

He looked into Xie Xu’s eyes, a sudden premonition washing over him.

Indeed, the next second, Xie Xu suddenly lifted him, spun him around once in the air, then pulled down his mask. He kissed Guan Qing on the cheek, laughing, and said, “Darling… I missed you so much.”

Guan Qing: “…”

The crowd: “!!!”

Whistles and cheers erupted from all around. Everyone could see they were a gay couple, but they offered them equal blessings, something unheard of a few years prior.

Guan Qing’s face was beet red. Like an ostrich, he buried his entire face in his scarf and fell silent. It seemed Xie Xu hadn’t been there long, as his fervent fans were only just arriving on the scene.

From a distance, a group of girls in support outfits were rushing towards them en masse.

Xie Xu and Guan Qing quickly got into the car, taking a shortcut to escape the scene.

Guan Qing dared not look at his phone, wondering what chaos had unfolded on Weibo. Xie Xu was already a notoriously carefree celebrity, often seen eating skewers in shorts or directly engaging in online spats with haters.

These antics had long been criticized by anti-fans, but he maintained an attitude of ‘this is who I am, mind your own business’ and never changed. However, this was probably his first time trending for showing affection.

‘Xie Xu’s Spin,’ ‘Who is Guan Qing,’ and ‘Xie Xu Guan Qing’ remained on the trending list for several days. Of course, at this moment, the two of them were unaware.

Xie Xu drove, taking shortcuts. One moment they were in the bustling city, the next in remote mountains, then passing by a market vendor shouting, ‘Buy a catty, get two spring onions free,’ or a blind singer performing a lonely tune on the street.

All the myriad facets of life flowed past the car window.

Xie Xu whistled, in high spirits. He didn’t even look at the road, instead constantly smiling at Guan Qing, using only his peripheral vision to glance ahead.

Guan Qing admonished him several times before he reluctantly gave up.

“Xie Xu, you’ve lost weight,” Guan Qing observed during a long red light, looking at Xie Xu. His heart ached for him. Since August, every time he saw Xie Xu, he seemed a little thinner than before.

Xie Xu didn’t turn his head, responding solemnly, “I miss you so much I can’t eat.”

Then he added, “Boss Guan, you’ve lost some hair.”

Guan Qing felt an urge to hit him.

He gritted his teeth. “It’s for the postgraduate exam.”

Xie Xu shook his head, looking wronged. “You should say, ‘Every time I think of Xie Xu, I lose a strand of hair.'”

“Then I’d be bald by now,” Guan Qing retorted without thinking.

Xie Xu was silent for a long moment.

Guan Qing felt a little shy after his own remark. He secretly turned to look at Xie Xu, only to find Xie Xu… flushed from his neck to his earlobes. He was staring straight ahead, whistling to create a false impression of ‘I am very calm, not charmed at all.’

Listening closely, the tune he was whistling was actually ‘Today You’re Going to Marry Me.’

Uh…

Now, even Guan Qing felt a little overwhelmed.

Two grown men, collectively over fifty, both blushing fiercely, looked like two middle schoolers who had just confessed their feelings. Sitting next to each other, they wanted to say something, but felt too shy.

****

Finally, they arrived at their destination: a private kitchen.

Guan Qing nearly stumbled out of the car, barely managing to compose himself. As he stepped out, he looked up at the restaurant’s name.

It was called… ‘Beloved Qing’s Private Kitchen’.

It sounded a little rustic, but Guan Qing’s heart instantly raced.

He slowly turned his head and asked Xie Xu, “You opened this?”

Xie Xu nodded, his face still red. “It just opened last week. We’re closed today, just for the two of us.”

The interior space was not large, seemingly following a ‘one table per day’ model. It was brightly lit, and indeed, no one else was there. Xie Xu led Guan Qing to a table, then retrieved an apron from a shelf on the side and put it on.

Guan Qing felt his mouth go dry. “Are you…?”

Xie Xu, wearing the apron, bowed to him like a gentle, polite butler. “Mr. Guan, I apologize for throwing away the meal you wanted to eat last time. As compensation this time, I hope you can accept this.”

He quickly brought over tea and pastries. “Please wait a moment.”

The radio in the corner crackled, playing popular songs from their student days. The television was on, showing ‘Home with Kids’ from many years ago, its lively chatter filling the air with a sense of domestic warmth. Outside, the rain began to fall, soft tendrils gently striking the glass French windows, gradually blurring the view and separating the interior from the outside world.

Guan Qing felt as if he had stepped into a dream world—warm, bright, filled with everything he loved. Most importantly, it had Xie Xu.

Guan Qing watched Xie Xu’s coming and going silhouette, his eyes welling up.

Dish after dish was served. Guan Qing waited for Xie Xu, not touching his chopsticks. Finally, all the dishes were laid out. Xie Xu wiped his brow with the hem of his apron, then pulled it off, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it behind him.

He then sat down opposite Guan Qing. His eyes were bright, yet somewhat shy. “Uh, I tried my best to learn from Chris this past month, but I might not have much talent. Please don’t mind it.”

It was a spread of all Guan Qing’s favorite Cantonese dishes. Although each dish might not have been as refined as those from a reputable Cantonese restaurant, the effort put into them was evident.

Guan Qing picked up a shrimp dumpling, put it in his mouth, and suddenly burst into tears.

Xie Xu panicked, quickly leaning over to gently pat his back. “What’s wrong? Is it not tasty, or are you choking— You, you mustn’t cry. If it’s bad, just spit it out.”

Most people know that when a child cries, you shouldn’t coddle them, as it only makes them cry harder. Guan Qing was like this. He hadn’t felt much initially, but with Xie Xu comforting him so gently, he suddenly felt both embarrassed and unable to stop.

“No…” he said, covering his mouth and sobbing.

“No what?” Xie Xu was genuinely worried, unsure what was wrong with Guan Qing.

Guan Qing, however, said with red eyes, “No, it’s not bad. It’s delicious.”

It was the best meal he had ever eaten in his life.

“It’s just, you’re too good, I—” ‘I can’t take it.’

‘If this continues, I’ll love you even more, to the point of no return. No, I’m already past the point of no return.’

Xie Xu poured him a glass of warm water, gently patting Guan Qing’s back as he listened to him ramble.

“How did you know I wanted to eat your handmade meal?”

“Qingqing,” Xie Xu looked at him tenderly, “Do you know? After we broke up, I realized I used to be so self-righteous, always believing I had given you the best.”

A car, a house, all his savings, and all his love—he thought giving everything he could was enough. But two people in love was far more than just that.

‘I wanted an egg, but you gave me a cake. Of course, a cake is better than an egg, but… I just wanted an egg.’

He had been trapped in his own self-righteous, blind love, indulging in complacent self-satisfaction. He even believed that Guan Qing must have felt the same way, that it was good enough. He hadn’t seen the deepening cracks beneath the calm surface.

Guan Qing’s decisive breakup had completely awakened him.

In hindsight, some things were clearly obvious if he had only bothered to look closely.

Guan Qing’s favorite psychology books, the lingering gaze Guan Qing gave him every time he left for filming, Guan Qing staying in the house they had saved up for together when he moved from Z City, unwilling to leave…

And Guan Qing’s deleted Weibo posts, the malicious comments Guan Qing’s account had browsed through, one by one. If only he had paid attention, everything would have been clear.

But he had been blind for so long, missing so much. He had even almost… missed Guan Qing entirely. Thankfully, there was still a chance.

The music from the radio suddenly faded, and after a moment of silence, a voice poured out.

“Guan Qing, the following song, I want to sing it for you. Oh, and I’ll tell you in advance, I’ll be saying this next sentence many times in the future. Please don’t cry, my heart aches when you do.”

“…I love you.”

Guan Qing’s tears, which he had just managed to stop, began to fall again.

Xie Xu raised his hand, lowered his head, and kissed away the tears from Guan Qing’s eyes, saying helplessly, “I told you my heart would ache.”

He spoke alongside his own voice from the radio, whispering into Guan Qing’s ear:

“Darling…

“I love you.”

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