Chapter 25: Hidden Truths and Shifting Trust

This was sheer madness.

Guan Qing lay on the bed, unable to move even a single finger.

For three whole days, Xie Xu’s intentions remained a mystery. Each day offered only an hour or two for rest and food.

As a beta, he possessed neither the formidable stamina of an alpha nor the evolved constitution of an omega, capable of enduring prolonged periods.

Marking a beta was a difficult feat, and even then, such marks faded easily. Yet, even now, Xie Xu’s scent clung to him, accompanied by a tremor of spiritual subjugation.

Even a simple touch from Xie Xu now felt unbearable.

“Wifey,” Xie Xu murmured, helping him sit up and feeding him porridge. “My apologies for these past few days.”

As Xie Xu’s hand supported his back, a current jolted through Guan Qing, his cheeks flushing with heat.

Xie Xu’s own face reddened. Their gazes met for a moment before Xie Xu spoke, “Baby, don’t tempt me.”

Guan Qing, mortified, pushed his hand away. “I wasn’t.”

The tips of their touching fingers trembled.

…

Xie Xu’s eyes darkened, and his voice dropped. “Keep this up, and you won’t be able to take it.”

He rested a hand on Guan Qing’s nape, tracing the bite marks he’d left, then leaned closer, their breaths mingling.

Guan Qing found himself unable to move, realizing that Xie Xu’s mood now swayed his own.

For instance, at this very moment, Xie Xu desired him.

He, too… wanted to do nothing but be held by Xie Xu.

They shared a kiss, but just as things threatened to escalate, Xie Xu’s phone rang.

“Don’t answer it,” Guan Qing said, pressing down on Xie Xu’s hand, his eyes half-lidded as he watched him.

Physically, he was utterly exhausted, yet psychologically, Xie Xu had once again ignited something within him. He even felt his own voice grow unusually sticky and sweet.

Xie Xu exhaled deeply, glanced at his phone, and stood up. “Hello?”

He gestured towards the porridge on the table, indicating Guan Qing should eat. Guan Qing remained weak, but instinctively, he didn’t want Xie Xu to leave. He felt he had indeed changed considerably; at least, the old him would never have done this now—

He gripped Xie Xu’s outstretched index finger and licked it.

Xie Xu stiffened. His gaze, a mix of danger and helplessness, fixed on Guan Qing as he spoke into the phone, “What’s wrong? What is she up to now? Wait…”

Guan Qing’s lips traced a path up Xie Xu’s finger, then licked and nipped at his Adam’s apple.

The proximity to the microphone allowed Guan Qing to hear the voice on the other end. It was soft, clear, imbued with a hint of delicate charm, almost a playful whine. “Brother Xu? Why aren’t you paying attention? Also, you haven’t really answered your phone for the past three days, what have you been up to… Oh, Auntie didn’t say anything.”

Guan Qing froze.

The warmth drained from his body, and he released Xie Xu’s hand in a daze. For these three days, beyond their intimate moments, Xie Xu had spent most of his mealtimes in the bathroom, seemingly on the phone with someone. Guan Qing had initially assumed it was work-related.

‘Was it Jiang Lu?’ he wondered.

Xie Xu, oblivious to his shift, exited with his phone.

Guan Qing tried to reassure himself. Jiang Lu always spoke like that, regardless of who they were addressing. Then, another thought surfaced: the Xie and Jiang families shared such intricate, complicated ties that continued contact was only natural. It didn’t necessarily mean…

His phone suddenly rang. It was Professor Wang, asking where he had been for the past few days, noting his complete silence, and inquiring about the progress of his paper. Guan Qing struggled to focus, but he couldn’t. At the end of their conversation, he couldn’t help but ask:

“Professor,” he asked, “is an alpha’s rut period solely triggered by an omega?”

Then—

‘Which omega, then, had enticed Xie Xu into his rut?’

‘And what had transpired to cause Xie Xu to enter his rut so uncharacteristically?’

‘If that night… he hadn’t sought intimacy with Xie Xu, how had Xie Xu intended to resolve it?’

Recalling the rumors he’d seen three days prior, a torrent of thoughts flooded his mind, leaving Guan Qing utterly bewildered.

Xie Xu returned after his call, waving a hand before Guan Qing’s eyes. “Baby, what are you spacing out about?”

Noticing Xie Xu dressing as if to leave, Guan Qing frowned and asked, “Where are you going?”

“Something came up,” Xie Xu replied, beginning to knot his tie. He transformed from disheveled to impeccably handsome. Once finished, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Guan Qing’s forehead.

Guan Qing clutched his tie, meeting his gaze. “Can’t you stay?”

Xie Xu’s eyes registered confusion. “Sweetheart, why are you looking at me like that? Are you upset about something again?”

He then added, “I really can’t. It’s important.”

“And you can’t tell me what it is, can you?” Guan Qing felt a wave of weariness and averted his gaze.

“…Hm,” Xie Xu paused, then nodded. “I’ll tell you later.”

Just before leaving, Xie Xu suddenly turned back. “Are you going to finish your postgraduate studies?”

Light streamed through the window, illuminating dancing dust motes. Xie Xu’s face, half-lit and half-shadowed by the glow, held an expression of profound complexity.

Guan Qing watched him, then retorted, “What about you?”

The smile on Xie Xu’s lips faltered. “I have my reasons,” he said.

“Then neither can I.” Guan Qing lay back in bed, no longer watching him leave.

Two or three minutes passed before the sound of the door closing echoed through the room.

Xie Xu was gone.

****

Upon his arrival, he unexpectedly encountered Ye Zi.

“Hm? Guan Qing?” Ye Zi raised a brow and smiled. “Perfect timing, I actually needed to speak with you.”

“Ye Zi, long time no see.” Guan Qing walked over, and the two of them headed out side-by-side.

“Haven’t seen you back at the matchmaking agency lately. Busy with a new romance, perhaps?” Ye Zi teased.

“Not really, it’s half and half, mostly focused on my studies,” Guan Qing admitted, a little embarrassed.

Ye Zi first invited him to lunch, then asked, “That’s great. How are things going with Xie Xu?”

“…Very well,” Guan Qing replied, hesitating slightly.

Seeing Ye Zi brought back memories of their last meeting, and the words Ye Zi had spoken.

—’Your credibility with Xie Xu is already worthless.’

He, of course, didn’t believe Xie Xu didn’t love him.

‘But what exactly were Xie Xu’s feelings towards him? Did he love him, truly, as an equal partner?’

He didn’t know.

This time, Ye Zi chose a rather upscale Cantonese restaurant. Instead of a private room, they settled into a window-side booth. Noticing Guan Qing’s obvious distraction, Ye Zi ordered for him, then asked, “Why do you seem so unhappy?”

Guan Qing offered a strained smile.

“By the way, how’s that competition paper coming along?” Seeing his reluctance to elaborate, Ye Zi skillfully changed the subject.

They discussed the paper for a while until Ye Zi suddenly froze, his gaze fixed on something, silencing him. Guan Qing followed his line of sight—

Xie Xu and Jiang Lu were walking, chatting and laughing, into a private room, Jiang Lu’s arm linked through Xie Xu’s.

As an upscale restaurant, it protected its clients’ privacy exceptionally well. Neither of them was heavily disguised, wearing only sunglasses. Yet, from their figures and attire, Guan Qing recognized them almost instantly.

Guan Qing felt his heart clench.

He finished the entire meal in a daze, unsure of what he’d been thinking, only to finally blurt out a question:

“Ye Zi,” he asked, “do you think Xie Xu and I are inherently incompatible?”

He was deeply disheartened.

“There’s no such thing as being ‘suitable’ or ‘unsuitable’,” Ye Zi said, crossing his arms over his chest, his smile gentle. “Perfectly matched couples don’t exist in this world, but…”

“You two, however, are certainly not a healthy couple,” Ye Zi finished, giving him a profound look.

Guan Qing’s hand, holding his soup bowl, trembled. “Hm?”

“Do you think Xie Xu trusts you? Of course, he loves you; anyone can see that,” Ye Zi said, slowly taking a sip of tea, his tone casual. “But love can be so cheap, can’t it?”

“Don’t let those romantics brainwash you. Love isn’t some lofty ideal… you study psychology, you should know that, right?”

Phenylethylamine, dopamine, endorphins.

Intimacy, commitment, passion.

“Love without trust and commitment isn’t truly love at all.” Ye Zi gave him a small smile, then lowered his head, using his chopsticks to push a shrimp back and forth along the rim of his bowl. “Xie Xu rarely talks to you about the future, has a very strong possessive streak, and keeps many things hidden, doesn’t he?”

“He doesn’t trust you, and therefore… he cannot truly love you.”

Guan Qing’s hand trembled, failing to hold the soup bowl steady. The entire contents spilled over him. It was scorching hot, yet he felt nothing.

Simultaneously, the shrimp beneath Ye Zi’s chopsticks slipped from the bowl’s rim, falling into the soup and vanishing without a trace.

Ye Zi stood up, taking a tissue to wipe Guan Qing’s clothes. “How can you be so careless?”

Guan Qing stared blankly at him, silent.

Trust, commitment, security.

Xie Xu had indeed never explicitly discussed their future with him, neither in the past eight years nor since their reunion.

This shouldn’t be the case.

He felt as though he had glimpsed the root of their troubles, yet he was utterly powerless to address it. A wave of exhaustion surged from his feet, and he pressed his lips together.

He no longer believed he was unworthy of Xie Xu. However, Xie Xu consistently concealed things, harbored worries… and Guan Qing remained completely oblivious. Xie Xu had never even considered telling him.

He was at a loss for what to do.

‘So Xie Xu had never intended to rely on him after all.’

In that instant, he didn’t know what he was thinking, or perhaps it was his inner insecurity haunting him. He needed someone to confide in, someone to seek guidance from. And, just as he had countless times before, he immediately thought of Ye Zi. Like a frantic fly, Guan Qing desperately looked into Ye Zi’s eyes, “

“Then what… what should I do?”

****

Xie Xu genuinely disliked being around Jiang Lu; it was only out of necessity.

‘I need to finish this quickly and get back. Guan Qing is waiting for me at home.’

‘Was Guan Qing asleep, or perhaps watching a movie? Xie Xu had kept all the films and books he used to like, leaving them in their original places.’

The thought of Guan Qing was the only thing that gave him enough impetus to continue.

Finally, the meal concluded. As he and Jiang Lu walked out the door, he heard Jiang Lu let out a small “Oh!”—

Ye Zi and Guan Qing were standing very close, so much so that from this angle, it looked almost like an intimate whisper between lovers.

Ye Zi had his back to them, but Xie Xu knew he couldn’t be mistaken about the expression on Guan Qing’s face.

It was reliant, full of trust, and utterly unreserved.

It was an expression Guan Qing had never once shown to Xie Xu. His heart felt as if it had plunged into an icy abyss.

A chilling wave of dread and fury surged from his soles, engulfing him.

They appeared so intimate.

…His greatest fear had, after all, come to pass.

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