Chapter 27: The Horse and the Knight

“Teacher, Xie Xu cheated. He bullied that child.”

“Sorry, Xie Xu, I never considered you a friend.”

“What if we grew up together? You actually believed it.”

“…”

Countless voices, some childish, some deep, flooded his mind, vying for attention. Eventually, all the clamor faded, and a single sentence slowly emerged, becoming clear:

“Look at that boy. How about we make a bet? I bet… he’ll drop out.”

The young man possessed a striking handsomeness, with a pair of captivating ‘peach blossom’ eyes that gave him a benevolent appearance. His smile was gentle and harmless, yet only upon closer inspection could one discern a hint of arrogance and disdain.

‘Refuse him. What good would a bet like that do you?’

He desperately wanted to say something, beads of sweat forming on his brow, yet no words would come. He sensed that something irreversible was about to happen, a feeling akin to watching mountains crumble, a despairing powerlessness that slowly spread through his heart, coiling tightly around him.

At just eighteen years old, he had been arrogant, conceited, and intensely radical. He had merely put on a facade of kindness, of open-hearted generosity, and the person he loved most had believed it.

That belief had lasted for many years.

“What’s wrong? Are you scared?” The young man before him eyed him askance.

All the years of dissatisfaction and anger ignited within him at that moment. His chest tightened; he wanted to stop it but couldn’t, hearing his eighteen-year-old self say:

“…Fine.”

His vision blurred, and the arrogantly smiling young man vanished.

“Why do you always stick your nose where it doesn’t belong?”

Then, the boy gradually grew taller, his features transforming from the tenderness of youth to the gentle refinement of a young man. He slumped into Xie Xu’s arms, his face pale, yet he managed a weak smile:

“I love you.”

Xie Xu jolted awake.

****

Guan Qing’s entire body ached. He had fainted under Xie Xu’s terrifying pressure, his mind unable to bear the mental overload. Consequently, he’d had countless forgotten nightmares, each one featuring Xie Xu, the man he loved to his very bones, yet who appeared so vividly in his darkest dreams.

He didn’t want this, but he couldn’t control it. It was an instinctive reverence for an Alpha, etched into a Beta’s genes.

Such fear had gradually faded over generations as human civilization advanced, but it had never truly disappeared.

When he awoke, Xie Xu was holding his hand, asleep in a chair beside him. After enduring rounds of nightmares, merely seeing Xie Xu so close triggered a conditioned reflex of fear. His body stiffened, and he subtly shifted away.

Unexpectedly, that slight movement woke Xie Xu.

Both men’s expressions were blank as they stared at each other for a long moment. Xie Xu’s eyes reddened. Guan Qing averted his gaze and withdrew his hand.

His legs still felt weak, but he didn’t want to stay. He stood up, put on his coat, and headed for the door. “Sorry, I’ll just—”

He walked too quickly, failing to notice the step at the entrance. His foot missed, and he stumbled, nearly falling.

Xie Xu wrapped his arms tightly around Guan Qing’s waist from behind, repeating in a low voice, over and over again, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

“…Don’t be like this.” Guan Qing was silent for a moment before speaking. “We both need to calm down.”

Xie Xu took a deep breath, trying to smile, and asked playfully, “Does this mean we’re breaking up?”

Guan Qing offered no reply.

“No way, right?” He feigned nonchalance, shrugging his shoulders, but in the ensuing silence, the corners of his mouth slowly drooped.

Finally, his voice hoarse and trembling, he said, “Guan Qing, I beg you. I… I know I’m a bastard. I don’t deserve you—”

He looked down at the floor, not daring to reach out and embrace Guan Qing again. Despite being a man over six feet tall, he stood there awkwardly, like a primary schooler being scolded by a teacher, his eyes red as he fought back tears.

But no one was there to comfort him, and there wouldn’t be in the future.

“Don’t break up. Just see me once a week, that’s enough. No, a month, or a year—whatever works for you.”

He forced a smile. “If you… if you really like Ye Zi, that’s fine too. I don’t care. I… I can—”

“You can do what?” Guan Qing finally turned around, asking calmly.

Hearing him, Xie Xu didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. His nose stung, and he said, “As long as you’re still mine, I can… wait for you, wait for you to like me again. Waiting for a long time is fine too.”

‘Just give me a reason to hope.’

“It doesn’t matter who I like?”

“…Mm.” Xie Xu clenched his fists.

“Then it doesn’t matter if I like you either?”

“Mm.” Xie Xu sadly closed his eyes, answering instinctively.

“Idiot.” Guan Qing sighed in exasperation. He pulled Xie Xu by the collar and kissed him.

Afterward, he stared blankly at Guan Qing, his eyes red.

Seeing Xie Xu like this, his heart ached.

His Xie Xu was so timid, despite having so much, he was like a child, constantly worried about being cast out.

Xie Xu had done such a despicable thing; he wasn’t without anger. The lingering aftereffects were still at play; when he kissed Xie Xu, he had to consciously stop himself from retreating or trembling too obviously.

But this was his person, and he was meant to pamper him. If he didn’t, who else would?

“I love you,” Xie Xu said, tears streaming down his face. This feeling of having something lost and then found again was something he hadn’t dared to dream of, yet it had become reality.

Then he remembered something else, burying his head low, almost mortified. “But I… hurt you before.”

“Do you really want me to say it?” Guan Qing looked at him helplessly.

“Say… I love you, I don’t care, what does it matter if I give you my life?” He spoke calmly and stubbornly, just as he had many years ago when he declared he would drop out at the freshman registration desk:

“I’m willing.”

Xie Xu’s pupils constricted.

The overly fervent emotion surging in his heart instantly overwhelmed him, threatening to burn him to ashes.

He had never realized love could reach such an intensity before this moment.

“Can’t you… not be so good?” Xie Xu’s lips trembled; he seemed to want to smile, but it twisted into a tearful expression. He didn’t want Guan Qing to see him in such a disheveled state, so he leaned down and hugged Guan Qing, burying his head in the crook of his neck, murmuring, “Can you be a little dumber, a little uglier, a little lazier, and… like me a little less?”

Things that were too perfect were always hard to keep intact.

He held such a precious treasure in his arms, needing to watch over it every day to ensure it wasn’t harmed or, worse, snatched away by others.

He wished Guan Qing wasn’t so good, wasn’t coveted or liked by others. That way, Guan Qing could… belong to him forever.

This thought was too selfish, and Xie Xu dared not voice it.

“I don’t know,” Guan Qing said softly, stroking his hair, “where your insecurity truly comes from.

“I promised you, I won’t leave. Besides… I’m not even that good.”

Xie Xu shook his head, picked him up, and placed him on the bed, saying in a muffled voice:

“You are so good.”

“Is it because of Ye Zi?” Guan Qing thought for a moment and asked.

Xie Xu suddenly stiffened.

Ever since Ye Zi returned, Xie Xu had shown many unusual behaviors. Whenever he had contact with Ye Zi, Xie Xu would become… irritable, prone to anger, and intensely jealous.

“You can discuss anything with me, and if you’re unhappy, you can tell me. If you don’t like him, I simply won’t spend time alone with him in the future.”

He stroked Xie Xu’s hair, speaking in a low voice. “A boyfriend should have some privileges.”

He hoped Xie Xu would tell him the reason, but judging by Xie Xu’s expression, he seemed to have no such intention.

A profound sense of disappointment welled up in Guan Qing’s heart.

He struggled to control himself, not letting his expression betray his thoughts.

“…Mm.”

Xie Xu responded softly.

Feeling uneasy, he lifted his head, leaned close to Guan Qing, and met his gaze. “Don’t spend time alone with him. Don’t believe anything he says, it’s all lies.”

“You make it sound like Ye Zi is a witch,” Guan Qing found it amusing.

“He is.” Xie Xu said very seriously.

“Then what am I, Snow White?” Guan Qing teased him.

Unexpectedly, Xie Xu shook his head and said, “A knight.”

This answer surprised Guan Qing. He asked, “Then what are you?”

“Guess.” Xie Xu narrowed his eyes, and before Guan Qing could speak, he kissed him.

Xie Xu was incredibly gentle at this moment. He lowered his eyes, soft and harmless, looking at Guan Qing, like a large dog circling at one’s feet. This Xie Xu seemed completely different from the Xie Xu consumed by extreme emotions, leaving Guan Qing utterly bewildered.

After eight years together, he still hadn’t fully understood Xie Xu.

Or perhaps… Xie Xu had never truly let down his guard with him. The Xie Xu in front of him had always been gentle and harmless, at most a little childish, sometimes immature in his thoughts, and straightforward. But the Xie Xu from yesterday, he had never seen before.

Had Xie Xu changed, or had Xie Xu been acting all along in front of him? He didn’t know.

Guan Qing felt a little disheartened.

“Baby, focus,” Xie Xu complained, biting his lip.

Xie Xu’s tongue plunged deep, conquering and ravaging, his hands equally restless.

After the kiss, Guan Qing was on the verge of tears.

“Who taught you that? How could you—”

His vision was hazy with tears; he hadn’t expected a mere kiss to leave him utterly undone.

Xie Xu chuckled softly, then took Guan Qing’s Adam’s apple into his mouth and asked, “Did you guess?”

Guan Qing hadn’t fully recovered, still immersed in the electric tingle. “Guess what?”

“Ye Zi is the witch, you’re the knight, what am I?” Xie Xu bit Guan Qing’s nape.

“Ugh—” Guan Qing’s toes curled tightly. After a long pause, he finally said, “Are you… the Little Prince?”

“Wrong, time for a penalty.”

Xie Xu used his teeth to unbutton Guan Qing’s first shirt button.

He lifted Guan Qing, letting him straddle his lap. Guan Qing looked down at him, his lips swollen and red from the fierce kiss, his eyes shimmering with moisture. “A big dog?”

“Incorrect,” Xie Xu lowered his head to unbutton the second button, chuckling softly. “Only four or five buttons left, baby. Keep trying.”

“Princess?” “Little Red Riding Hood?” “Big Bad Wolf?”…

Xie Xu shook his head at each guess. Guan Qing, with his hands resting on Xie Xu’s shoulders, said dejectedly, “I give up, I—”

“Baby’s gotten dull,” Xie Xu said with a roguish smile, holding Guan Qing’s waist and looking up to meet his eyes. “You’re the knight, so of course, I’m the…”

“Horse.”

Guan Qing, sitting on him, instantly flushed crimson.

“Shall we ride, Sir Knight?” Xie Xu bit his collarbone, his words heavy with innuendo.

“Can we not ride?” Guan Qing asked helplessly.

“No, the horse disagrees.”

📚 Also on NHV Novels

Wait, Let Me Explain! It’s Really Not What You Think!

FantasyHarem

Read Now →
Not interested