Chapter 12: The Silent Pursuit

The underground parking lot, Xie Xu walked silently in the lead, while Guan Qing followed behind with his head down.

An awkward silence prevailed, yet it was a familiar atmosphere to him. He remembered the time when he had confessed his feelings to Xie Xu, who had not reciprocated. At that moment, he thought their story had ended, but the next morning, Xie Xu was waiting for him at the dormitory to go to a public elective course together.

For several days, the air between them was heavy, much like it had been before. They would stick together for classes, meals, and study sessions, but barely spoke.

Guan Qing was familiar with this feeling, trailing behind Xie Xu and observing the lines of his neck and back. Sometimes, they were slick with sweat, other times, they were clean and fresh from a shower, emitting a faint, enticing scent.

There were times when Guan Qing felt a stir of excitement, but he was uncertain of Xie Xu’s thoughts. He wondered if he found it disgusting to be pursued by someone he didn’t reciprocate.

Guan Qing believed that Xie Xu, with his pride, would be unable to bear being fantasized about by someone he didn’t love. The cold, distant look in his eyes was reminiscent of that time, and Guan Qing felt a pang of sadness.

However, he didn’t mind. He was content just to follow Xie Xu, never expecting to stand by his side openly.

One day, they encountered each other at the bathhouse, each carrying a basin. They avoided each other’s gaze, and Guan Qing awkwardly mentioned forgetting his shower gel.

Before he could turn away, Xie Xu grabbed his hand and said, ‘I’ll lend you mine. Go ahead.’

Guan Qing reluctantly followed, feeling embarrassed. But he was also feeling something else, a certain thrill, being so close to Xie Xu, smelling his sweat and pheromones, hearing his breath and the sound of his zipper.

Guan Qing realized he was infatuated with every aspect of Xie Xu. He wanted to see him every day, smell his scent, hear his breathing, and be embraced by him.

As he was washing, Xie Xu’s water stopped, and Guan Qing felt a hand on his shoulder. He trembled, and Xie Xu turned him around, exclaiming, ‘You’re rubbing your neck raw!’

Guan Qing, with tears welling up, could barely look at Xie Xu. He turned off the shower, and the bathhouse fell silent. He tried to leave, but Xie Xu stopped him.

‘Let me go,’ Guan Qing pleaded, but Xie Xu refused, offering to help instead. Guan Qing was taken aback, and as Xie Xu’s hands roamed, he felt a surge of desire and despair, knowing that their friendship was now ruined.

Guan Qing cried, thinking that he would forever be known as the ‘creep who fantasized about Xie Xu.’ He imagined Xie Xu’s mocking eyes and the laughter of his friends, and it all seemed hopeless.

However, when he opened his eyes, he found Xie Xu’s gaze tender, and before he could react, Xie Xu kissed him.

Guan Qing was stunned, but Xie Xu continued, whispering, ‘Baby, close your eyes.’

After what felt like an eternity, they parted, both breathless. ‘You… have nothing to say?’ Guan Qing asked, but Xie Xu only smiled, ‘I do, baby, I’m hard, you’ll take responsibility for that.’

Guan Qing’s heart fluttered, but before he could respond, Xie Xu added, ‘And for me. I love you.’

Suddenly, Xie Xu halted, and Guan Qing, lost in thought, almost bumped into him. He was feeling dizzy from the alcohol and the stuffy air in the parking garage.

‘Why are you here?’ Xie Xu’s voice was cold and tense. ‘I thought Guan Qing might have had too much to drink, so I came to pick him up,’ Ye Zi replied, his shirt unbuttoned, revealing a hint of his masculine charm.

He approached them, but Xie Xu blocked his path, stating, ‘It’s none of your concern.’ ‘You’re just making it more obvious,’ Ye Zi retorted, offering his hand to Guan Qing, ‘Let’s go, I’ll take you home.’

Guan Qing looked at Ye Zi, unsure of what to believe. He thought of the evidence, the contract, and the doubt that had been growing in his heart. He wondered if Ye Zi was the kind, generous elder he had known, or something else entirely.

They had maintained a surface-level peace, but Guan Qing had noticed the signs, the late-night chats, the subtle flirting, and the overwhelming affection. He was confused, and he looked at Ye Zi, seeking answers.

‘You don’t trust me?’ Ye Zi asked, and Guan Qing wanted to shake his head, but Xie Xu scoffed, ‘You’re a psychologist, not an actor.’

The tension between them was palpable, and Guan Qing felt a headache coming on. ‘I’m going home,’ he said, and both Xie Xu and Ye Zi objected, concerned for his safety.

They went to a cafe, and Ye Zi demanded an explanation. Xie Xu admitted to a misunderstanding, involving a foreign boy who had mistaken Ye Zi for someone else due to a series of coincidences.

The revelation left them all in silence, and Ye Zi stood up, saying he had other matters to attend to. He apologized for not being able to help with Guan Qing’s work, and Guan Qing, feeling guilty, nodded.

The three of them left the cafe, each lost in their thoughts, the events of the day weighing heavily on their minds.

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