Chapter 105: The Way He Tries

The Emperor cupped Haeryeong’s hands, rubbing them as if to melt the chill away, and even blew his warm breath over them.

He stole a sidelong glance, as if gauging Haeryeong’s reaction.

“Your servant is slow-witted and has caused Your Majesty concern.”

“If the ceremonial vestments were too much, you should have at least shown a sign. You endured it all like a fool.”

Upon sensing that the strength had left the man’s grumbling voice, Haeryeong’s eyes sharpened with a subtle edge.

“Has my foolishness not already been proven over the last three years? It is hardly news.”

When he replied indifferently, the Emperor let out a small laugh and pressed his lips to Haeryeong’s palm.

Haeryeong curled his fingertips at the soft, supple sensation that touched him briefly before pulling away.

“Please, let me go. Must we not hurry with the preparations?”

The Emperor laughed, his expression looking a bit more human than before.

“If I told you to stay and rest, you would only be disappointed, would you not?”

Haeryeong smiled in response and shot him a playful, narrow-eyed look.

“Since Your Majesty already knows, it makes it much easier for me to answer. Please, let me go.”

The Emperor toyed with the back of Haeryeong’s hand with his fingers as if deep in thought, and eventually took the hand away from his own cheek to begin kneading it.

After a short wait, he finally seemed to reach a conclusion and let out a deep, heavy sigh.

“Choose the lightest possible robes for the banquet. And promise me that you will tell me at once if your body feels overstrained.”

At the sound of that low, quiet whisper, Haeryeong felt a strange heat rise in the corners of his eyes.

As Haeryeong quietly lowered his gaze, the man drew even closer.

“Empress.”

When Haeryeong lifted his head, the Emperor raised the hand he had been kneading and pressed his lips against the man’s fingernails.

Perhaps his hands were indeed cold, for the spot his lips touched felt as though it were burning.

After lingering over the curled fingertips with his lips, the Emperor looked up at Haeryeong.

He still wore that same confident smile.

“If you give me your word, I shall try to settle my own heart as well.”

Haeryeong instinctively moved off the man’s lap and retreated.

He had a feeling the Emperor was about to pull a stunt to get a kiss.

Sure enough, the Emperor, who had kissed his way up to the back of the hand, leaned over the retreating Haeryeong until the Empress was nearly lying flat.

“Will you give me your promise?”

At a distance where their lips almost touched, he released his scent.

Haeryeong puffed out his cheeks for a moment at the man’s use of that dangerous fragrance to pressure him.

‘Must he truly be like this? Why can this man never just let me win once?’

On second thought, however, it seemed that if he was the one to act, it might end more simply.

Haeryeong lifted his upper body, pressed a quick kiss to the Emperor’s lips, and escaped his embrace entirely.

After successfully pulling his hand away and stepping down from the bed, he saw the salt-and-pepper hair of the prostrate Imperial Physician Gong.

“Your… your servant shall take his leave now…”

Haeryeong looked pityingly at the man who must have been waiting for the exact moment he could announce his departure, and gave a nod.

“You have worked hard. You may go.”

As the physician backed out of the room, Haeryeong realized his ceremonial robes had been removed and looked down at himself.

‘No wonder it felt so easy to stand up.’

Behind him, the Emperor grumbled petulantly.

“You are so kind to everyone else, yet you are heartless only to me.”

Haeryeong’s face blankly reflected his disbelief at hearing such words from the person who had been the most heartless to him in the world.

However, before turning to face the Emperor, he smoothed his expression as usual and replied.

“If we are to speak of true heartlessness, your servant knows it better than anyone. Your Majesty speaks of it in jest, but I know it to a point where such jokes cannot even be uttered. Therefore, I ask you to withdraw the claim that my attitude is heartless.”

Haeryeong bent his knees and waited for the Emperor’s response.

The man stared at him in silence.

After a considerable amount of time, he flopped back onto the bed and waved his hand.

“We have done wrong again. Rise.”

Watching the waving fingertips, Haeryeong stood with an expressionless face.

Then, after receiving his permission in a leisurely manner, he exited the bedroom.

He didn’t know what the sigh following him meant, but for some reason, a small laugh escaped him.

The moment Haeryeong entered the inner chamber prepared for his grooming, the court ladies of the Great Hall moved with haste.

Apparently, he had been unconscious for nearly half an hour, so the already tight schedule had become twice as strained.

Even though Haeryeong just stood still to aid their movements, he felt as if he were losing his breath.

Six court ladies were busy moving back and forth around him.

Regrettably, the only garment the court ladies of the Empress’s Palace had prepared in advance was the red ceremonial robe the Emperor had previously demanded, so he could not choose anything lighter.

In the end, he had to don the voluminous silk robes.

Once the attire was set, the court ladies on both sides set to work, frantically braiding strands of his side hair.

Haeryeong offered his arm to a court lady busy tidying his long sleeves and asked Head Court Lady Hwang, who was supervising nearby.

He kept his head perfectly still so as not to interfere with the braiding.

“Has His Majesty finished his preparations?”

“Since no word has come, I believe he is still preparing.”

Haeryeong let out a light sigh.

“It seems we shall be late; would it not be best to send word to Dohwa-gak in advance?”

“I believe the Black Shadow Unit has already sent word, but I shall send someone as well. Do not worry yourself too much, Your Highness.”

Hearing her soft voice made him think once more that many things had changed.

It surely had to do with the fact that the Emperor’s attitude toward him had significantly softened.

‘Then why could it not have been like this in my previous life?’

‘It is too drastic a change to be blamed solely on my own lack of effort to win the Emperor’s attention.’

Haeryeong briefly thought of the Noble Consort’s face.

‘Was it him after all? Was he the one who blocked the Emperor from coming to me?’

It was only a suspicion, but considering the Emperor was more prone to affection than he let on, it seemed plausible.

Since the Consort had known the Emperor before Haeryeong, he must have been aware of the man’s nature.

Therefore, the possibility was high that he had coaxed the Emperor into never looking at the newly arrived Empress.

He had only vaguely suspected it before, but looking at the current situation, it didn’t seem far-fetched.

Haeryeong guessed that the beginning of this change was the severe fever he suffered upon his return.

Started by the unwanted contact required to purify his Eumin energy, had that not become the center of this shift?

In his previous life, there had been no such situation for seven entire years, so the Emperor would have had no reason to develop an interest.

On top of that, the Consort had been stuck to his side, blinding him, so there was no gap for anyone else to enter.

But with time reversed and a connection established, had something not begun to grow in the Emperor’s heart?

Of course, he would never truly know the answer to this question that he could ask no one.

And even if he did know, it was difficult for anything to change now.

The most important problem lay not with the Consort or the Emperor, but with himself.

‘What am I to do with the wounds I carry alone? What am I to do with this resentment and sorrow that only I know of?’

That was the most difficult question of all.

‘Is continuing to push the Emperor away the right answer? Or, since I am the only one who knows, is it better to just swallow it all and move on?’

He agonized over it constantly, yet no answer came easily.

How could a wounded heart heal so simply?

How could resentment and sorrow, layered for years, vanish so easily?

The Haeryeong of the past had certainly harbored some clumsy expectations and feelings of love for him.

Yet, before those feelings could even take root, was it not only neglect that was piled on top of them?

It was the same now, even while the Emperor was mimicking tenderness.

‘How can I deal with emotions that have been rotting for years now that it’s too late?’

Haeryeong let out a quiet sigh.

The court ladies braiding his hair paused for a moment, and one of them asked cautiously.

“Your Highness, is the styling uncomfortable for you?”

“No. I was merely lost in a brief thought. We have no time, so simply finish the preparations quickly.”

He lowered his body for the ladies who were gathering the braids to join them with the high-tied hair and coil it up.

Haeryeong sat on the chair that was naturally placed beneath his thighs, intending to resume his interrupted thoughts, but then gave up.

‘There is nothing I can do anyway, is there?’

‘Did the Emperor not boast that he had no intention of letting me down from the Empress’s throne?’

Haeryeong let out a short sigh, reflecting on the fact that he could neither ultimately reject the man nor distance himself from him.

‘Must I bear an Imperial heir and live by relying on the Emperor’s fickle favor?’

‘If so, what becomes of the heart of the Lee Haeryeong who died in the previous life?’

It was a question far too difficult to answer.

When the preparations were complete and they arrived late at the banquet hall at Dohwa-gak, everyone was already gathered and waiting for the Imperial couple.

As they entered May, the peach blossoms around Dohwa-gak were in full bloom, exuding a sweet fragrance.

The weather had turned hot exceptionally fast this year, and the peach blossoms had bloomed early, just as they had in the first year of his marriage.

In his previous life, he hadn’t attended the Founding Festival that year, so he had no memory of how it had been.

Unlike the times he had stolen glimpses of the man in secret, this time the Emperor tenderly supported Haeryeong’s arm.

Stealing a look up at the man walking beside him, the Emperor, dressed in his red dragon robe, slightly arched an eyebrow.

“As I thought, red suits you remarkably well. You are beautiful.”

The Emperor uttered a compliment, something he never usually did.

Haeryeong felt a surge of embarrassment for no reason.

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