Chapter 99: The Beginning of Doubt

The Emperor let out a dry cough as if only just noticing the Noble Consort’s presence.

“Is the Consort unharmed?”

Sirak, still supported by Court Lady Han, bowed his waist.

“Yes, Your Majesty. Your servant is unharmed.”

“You must be more careful with your conduct. How could you be so reckless as to involve so many people?”

Haeryeong stared back and forth between the Emperor and Sirak in shock.

Sirak was equally startled, looking up at the Emperor with wide eyes after straightening his back.

Resentment slowly clouded the Consort’s gaze.

Watching his eyes, Haeryeong let out an involuntary sigh.

He too must have looked like that once.

When the Emperor had rushed to find him in the past, accusing him of hurting Sirak, he must have worn that exact same look.

He felt a constriction in his throat as if his very breath had stopped.

Even if the Emperor had spoken those words out of concern for him, Haeryeong felt not a shred of gratitude.

How could a man be like this?

One moment he treated Sirak as his most precious treasure, and the next, he turned on him so easily.

Unable to bear looking at the Emperor any longer, Haeryeong turned away and approached the Consort.

Blood from a torn fingernail was beginning to stain the sleeves Sirak held demurely before his chest.

Haeryeong gently stroked the back of the man’s clasped hands.

“The Consort should return to his palace. I shall summon the Imperial Physician immediately, so seek treatment first.”

“Your grace is boundless.”

After seeing the Consort off, Haeryeong ordered Iryeon to send a court lady to the Bureau of Medicine.

He turned back only after watching Iryeon call a nearby maid to give the instructions.

The Emperor was staring intently at Haeryeong with his mouth firmly shut.

Haeryeong met his gaze steadily before finally parting his lips.

“You were rash, Your Majesty.”

The Emperor’s brow pulsed with irritation as if he were about to snap.

However, the answer that came after a moment of silence was unexpectedly calm.

“Indeed. We were rash.”

Haeryeong clamped his mouth shut, having nothing more to say.

His surprise was great, as he hadn’t expected the man to admit his fault so readily.

Yet, his chest felt heavy.

Strangely, he even felt a surge of anger.

But what could he say to the man who had acted out of concern for him?

Haeryeong simply exhaled a small sigh and bowed toward the Emperor.

“Please grant me permission to withdraw first.”

The Emperor stalled for a long time without a word before finally responding bluntly.

“I would rather you just speak your mind.”

When Haeryeong lifted his head, he saw the Emperor scowling with a look of pure petulance.

“What would you have me say?”

“The Empress surely knows that better than I, do you not?”

“Your servant has nothing to say.”

The Emperor let out a hollow laugh and clicked his tongue loudly.

“Your eyes are far more honest than your tongue. I say this because your eyes are full of words while your mouth remains tightly shut. Does the Empress wish to see my heart burn with frustration?”

Haeryeong looked at the Emperor calmly and replied.

“For what purpose would your servant burn Your Majesty’s heart? What am I to you that you would even feel such frustration?”

The Emperor’s eyes flashed with indignation as he bit his lip.

Haeryeong felt as though he were performing a precarious tightrope walk.

Though he neither wanted this nor did it on purpose, it felt as if the Emperor kept placing him on a thick rope and commanding him to perform.

Suddenly, he realized through the Emperor’s eyes that he was looking at the man with resentment.

His own reflection in those eyes—which were shimmering with rage—looked incredibly small and sorrowful.

Steadying his breath for a moment, Haeryeong bowed to the Emperor.

“Please go and soothe the Consort. It is not as if he fell on purpose, yet Your Majesty was too harsh on a man who was already flustered. Would anyone not feel aggrieved after being rebuked in such a manner?”

After all, was he not the one who had enjoyed the Emperor’s absolute favor?

Haeryeong did not know when that favor had vanished, but the void left behind must be massive for the man.

If Lee Haeryeong had lived with an empty heart from a lack of affection, then Jeong Sirak would now be falling asleep clutching a heart that had suddenly turned hollow.

How could he be so cruel to such a person?

Haeryeong thought he knew well enough how cold the Emperor could be, but it seemed he hadn’t known the half of it.

Every time he discovered a new facet of the Emperor’s frigidity, Haeryeong felt his world crumbling, regardless of whether that coldness was directed at him or someone else.

Haeryeong continued softly, as if coaxing the silent Emperor.

“The Consort was injured in his confusion. Go and ensure he has no other hurts, and comfort his startled heart.”

The Emperor listened in silence before asking in a low voice.

“Is the Empress truly unbothered by me going to him?”

Haeryeong let out a hollow laugh despite himself.

“Is that not the very nature of my life? Just as you did when you first took the Consort, and just as you did when you frequented his quarters, simply go in silence. Your Majesty’s inquiry is utterly futile to your servant.”

The Emperor knit his brows slightly and fell silent.

Without another word, he turned quietly and departed.

Haeryeong bowed his waist to see him off.

Once the sound of the Emperor’s footsteps vanished, he looked up to find that even the “tail” of eunuchs that usually lingered at the edge of his vision was gone.

Haeryeong exhaled a steady sigh and gave Iryeon a command.

“You remain here to bestow the prize upon the winner of the swinging contest and then return. I shall head back now.”

Iryeon struggled to hide her confused expression.

Since Haeryeong had not yet told her that his memory was intact, his conversation with the Emperor must have been bewildering to her.

Last time, he had intended to tell her while they shared tea, but the Emperor’s sudden banquet had prevented him from doing so.

He knew he had to find another time to tell her, but he didn’t want to today.

He simply felt like returning to his quarters and shutting himself away.

Unable to find the source of his suffocating frustration, Haeryeong began to walk toward the Empress’s Palace.

****

Meanwhile, Sirak was returning to the Consort’s Palace, supported by Court Lady Han and another maid.

The Emperor’s cold gaze and his irritable voice kept echoing in his mind.

[Sirak-ah. Did I not tell you that you are the only one for me? Hmm?]

The Emperor had always whispered such things while holding him, as Sirak pretended to tremble with anxiety.

Every time the man came to see him in the gisaeng house after the Empress had been brought in, and every time Sirak begged to be made Empress after becoming the Noble Consort, he had always soothed him with those words.

Even with an Empress present, the Emperor had never entered the other’s quarters and only came to him, so Sirak had never doubted the man’s heart.

He had felt secure, believing the Emperor loved him, or at least cherished him dearly.

He had lived without ever dreaming the Emperor’s affection could turn away so quickly.

Sirak shivered, feeling a profound sense of betrayal.

How could he do this to him?

Especially after all those murmurs about bestowing every precious thing in the world upon him.

The image of the Emperor worrying only for the Empress while ignoring Sirak’s own fall was vivid.

The man’s voice, as he spoke so harshly to him, also rang clearly in his ears.

He hadn’t fallen on purpose.

He hadn’t even asked the Empress to catch him.

Though nothing major happened because the Empress had caught him, Sirak was deeply hurt by the Emperor’s attitude.

Whether he himself loved the Emperor or not was no longer relevant.

Regardless of his own feelings, the man was supposed to love and cherish him.

Had he not endured his own revulsion just to cater to the Emperor’s whims for that very purpose?

He had never even considered that he could not control another person’s heart as he did his own.

Under any circumstances, the Emperor was supposed to cherish him.

He was supposed to love him.

How could he treat him with such neglect?

Especially after Sirak had given everything—his pride and his dignity—to flatter him?

Biting his lip, Sirak had just returned to the Consort’s Palace and was receiving treatment from the physician when the Emperor appeared without a sound.

When Sirak failed to offer his respects, a look of distress crossed the man’s face.

“My Consort’s heart must be deeply wounded.”

Sirak looked at him with cold eyes as he approached with his tender whispers, then turned away.

The Emperor dismissed the physician who had finished the treatment and sat down beside him.

He stealthily pulled Sirak into an embrace.

Goosebumps rose along his skin at the touch of the hand patting his shoulder.

“There were many eyes watching, so I had no choice. Do not be so disheartened. I did not treat you that way because I hate you.”

Sirak pushed against his chest.

Remaining slightly distanced, he stared at the man’s face as he arched an eyebrow in a silent question.

In the past, he would have been completely fooled, but perhaps it was because he now harbored suspicion.

The Emperor’s expression looked markedly different than before.

Perhaps it was just his own paranoia.

Perhaps the difference was only a matter of his own mood.

In reality, the Emperor looked not a bit different from before.

His tender smile was the same, and his softly whispering tone was identical.

The eyes looking at him quietly also appeared deep and clear.

But Sirak could not believe a word he said.

Something was slithering within him, feeding his growing doubt.

Was the Emperor being sincere with him?

Could the way he treated the Empress be his true self?

Looking into the Emperor’s eyes, which stared back without a hint of hesitation, Sirak felt confused.

Even if his sincerity didn’t actually change Sirak’s own heart.

“The Empress must have been quite startled as well; why have you come to me?”

“He told me to come to you, saying you must have been quite shocked.”

The Emperor laughed, remarking on how decent the Empress’s character was.

But for some reason, the moment Sirak heard those words, tears burst from his eyes.

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