Chapter 25: A Heart That Remembers.

“Will you not allow it?”

Wondering if the bird was still shy, he slowly extended his hand and felt the soft, short feathers near its neck.

He had worried it might peck him, but perhaps because it had been raised by humans, Changcheon did not attack and simply continued to tilt its head.

“Changah.”

Haeryeong whispered the hawk’s name several times.

“Changah.”

After calling it three or four times in a row, the hawk finally let out a short cry, “Ppi-i.”

At the clear sound, Haeryeong smiled brightly and gently caressed the hawk’s face.

It felt as though the worries piled in his heart were melting away at the touch of the warm, soft feathers.

****

After a few more rounds of training for “calling for food,” Haeryeong returned to the palace with Changcheon.

As if the Emperor had given instructions beforehand, a new perch had been set up by the window in the bedchamber.

Haeryeong placed Changcheon on the perch and left the window open, worrying the bird might feel stifled.

Perhaps because the new environment was unfamiliar, Changcheon looked around for a long while before eventually blinking its eyes and starting to doze off.

After watching the bird for some time, Haeryeong cautiously called for Iryeon.

“Bring me brushes and ink. I must make a sichimi.”

Haeryeong laid out the materials Myeong-un had given him and slowly began to grind the ink.

The reason he dismissed Iryeon’s offer to do it for him and chose to do it himself was that it was a task he had always enjoyed.

He liked the scratching sound of the ink stick against the stone as he carefully added water from the dropper, and the subtle scent of ink that spread as it was ground.

Perhaps because it had been so long, he felt more at peace than usual.

Then, suddenly, he thought of his mother back in Yeonseo.

Since they were currently in a time when they still exchanged correspondence, he wondered if he should inquire after her health for the first time in a while.

“Iryeon-ah. Since I have ground the ink, I am thinking of sending a letter…”

“Are you perhaps sending it to Yeonseo?”

Haeryeong nodded and asked her tentatively.

“Would it be alright to send one?”

Iryeon nodded at the question, which was loaded with hidden meanings.

“Why would it not be? If you write the letter, I shall deliver it to the Gong-yeok-seo to have a postal horse dispatched.”

Haeryeong hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“Bring me paper. I must write to my mother.”

Once the ink was fully ground, Haeryeong wrote Changcheon’s name and his own on a small piece of shell.

He also recorded today’s date, the day he brought the hawk home.

Since hawks used for hunting were kept for a year at most before being released back into the mountains, he did this for fear of forgetting the day he would have to let it go.

Haeryeong waited for the ink to dry and then used silk thread to firmly bind together white swan feathers, a bell, and the inscribed shell.

When he tied the sichimi to the base of Changcheon’s tail feathers, the bell jingled every time the hawk moved.

It was a busy sound, enough to make him worry it might disturb the bird’s hearing.

Fortunately, Changcheon did not seem to mind the jingling and simply raised a foot to scratch the back of its head.

After watching the hawk for a while, Haeryeong returned to the desk, picked up a fine brush, and fell into thought.

What should he write?

Since it was a letter being sent to another country, it would be inspected beforehand, making it difficult to write anything of great substance.

Even so, if possible, he wanted to give a warning of sorts for the sake of the future.

The Emperor would eventually pick a fight regarding the tribute from Yeonseo.

In Haeryeong’s memory, after the harvest next autumn, a problem would arise where poisonous herbs were mixed into the Ok-ro tea sent from Yeonseo.

Looking very similar to tea leaves, it was a toxic herb that, if consumed long-term, caused nerve paralysis or, in severe cases, death by brain swelling.

Upon being informed of the poisonous herbs found during inspection, the Emperor had flown into a rage, claiming Yeonseo was plotting an assassination.

‘If they wanted to assassinate him, they would have sent an assassin; why would they put in leaves that only take effect after years of consumption?’

‘Especially when they knew full well that anything arriving at the Imperial Palace would be inspected before the Emperor consumed it.’

Everyone knew the Emperor had orchestrated it.

Haeryeong was no exception.

Though no one spoke it aloud due to a lack of evidence, every person in the palace guessed it was the Emperor’s scheme to intimidate the Empress.

To stop the Emperor from declaring war on Yeonseo, Haeryeong had spent days and nights prostrate before the Great Hall, begging.

He had fasted for days on the bone-chilling stone floor, pleading for mercy.

The Emperor only relented just before Haeryeong collapsed, and Haeryeong had suffered for days from a severe cold and body aches.

It was an incident that occurred at the beginning of winter, just as the first snow began to fall.

Because of that event, he had been forced to sever ties with his homeland, and two years later, he met his death at the Emperor’s sword.

Retracing these memories, Haeryeong leaned his brush against the inkstone and massaged his cold hands.

His hands were stiff and trembling from the terrifying memories.

No matter how much he rubbed them or blew hot breath onto them, they would not warm up.

‘What should I do? How can I possibly explain this to Mother?’

While he agonized, he ended up unable to write even a single line.

How could he explain?

How could he write in a letter that anyone might read, “Please beware of the Emperor’s schemes”?

‘Would it not be better to just leave things as they are and wait to be deposed before that time comes?’

‘But how can I ensure it isn’t too late?’

Though much time remained, the fact that he was currently unable to do anything filled him with worry that no clever solution would appear when the time came.

Haeryeong clasped his trembling hands tightly and rested his forehead against them.

‘Would it be enough to just give him everything he wants?’

‘If he grows bored quickly, I would be grateful, but what if he doesn’t?’

‘Or should I try to use the “pillow talk” strategy to make a request?’

‘For some unknown reason, the Emperor seems to want to spend the heat cycle with me.’

Haeryeong panted with short, quick breaths, his head still lowered.

‘Can I endure it?’

His heart ached with pressure at the thought of the pain and humiliation he would suffer during the heat cycle.

Consequently, his breathing grew even more ragged.

“Is anyone there?”

Haeryeong stood up, clutching his chest, and searched for whoever was waiting outside the door.

“Yes, Your Highness. Mok is here.”

“Go to the Bureau of Medicine and bring me a Cheongsimhwan.”

Startled, Mok pushed open the sliding doors and hurried toward Haeryeong, seeing his face turned deathly pale.

“Your Highness, what is the matter? Shall I fetch the Imperial Physician?”

Haeryeong steadied himself against the table and shook his head at her.

“My heart is merely racing too fast; just bring the medicine. I will be fine once I rest a little.”

Mok shouted toward the outside.

“Jongseon! Go to the Bureau of Medicine and get a Cheongsimhwan. Inform the Head Court Lady on your way!”

“Yes! I shall be back quickly! Your Highness, please hold on for just a moment!”

Jongseon, having peeked inside, ran off with her hair ribbons fluttering.

Mok helped Haeryeong sit back down and wiped away the cold sweat that had broken out.

“Your Highness, are you alright? Shall we go to the bed?”

Haeryeong shook his head slightly.

The Emperor would be arriving for dinner before long.

His priority was to calm his heart before then, which was why he had ordered the medicine; he was in no position to lie down and rest comfortably.

Closing his dizzy eyes, Haeryeong tapped his stifled chest with his fist.

His heart was pounding painfully, as if trying to break through his ribs and burst out.

As if to tell him never to forget this agony.

By the time the Emperor visited his quarters in the evening, the medicine had seemingly taken effect, as the pain in his chest had significantly subsided.

Though he thought his complexion had improved, the Emperor immediately began to feign concern for Haeryeong’s condition.

“I heard you were unwell; are you alright now?”

“Yes. My heart suddenly began to race, so I took a Cheongsimhwan, and it has settled.”

Assuming the man had received a report from the Black Shadow Unit, Haeryeong quietly confirmed the truth with a nod.

He judged that since he was already in the palm of the man’s hand, it was better to speak the truth than to try and hide it with a lie.

Fortunately, that judgment seemed to be correct.

The Emperor wore a mild and tender expression as he wrapped an arm around Haeryeong’s shoulder.

“It is a grave concern that you are so fragile. You look as though you might blow away with the slightest breeze.”

“…I am sorry.”

His face flushed at the embarrassing words.

‘It would take more than just a slight breeze to blow this body away…’

While he had that thought, the Emperor lightly patted Haeryeong’s shoulder.

“But tell me, what caused your heart to race so suddenly?”

Haeryeong lowered his eyes in the man’s embrace and answered cautiously.

“I was trying to write a letter to my mother… and I suppose I was overcome with longing for her.”

“Oh dear. You are still so young; what am I to do with you?”

The Emperor chuckled, seemingly not disliking Haeryeong’s excuse, and tightened his hold.

As he was pulled close, the man’s soft, laughing breath scattered over Haeryeong’s long hair, tickling it.

“Later, when the time is right, I shall send word to the Grand Lady of the State to invite her for a visit. You can send your letter with the invitation.”

“Your Majesty’s grace is as vast as the sea. However, I do not wish for such a thing.”

The Emperor pulled back from Haeryeong with a look of bewilderment.

“Why do you not wish for it? If you miss her, you should see her.”

“No. Since I have entered into this marriage, I am already a person of Yeoran. Therefore, delivering a letter is enough.”

The Emperor did not press further and simply nodded.

However, he did not forget to add one last comment.

“If that is what the Empress wishes, then so be it. But if you change your mind, do not hesitate to speak up.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. Your grace is boundless.”

The Emperor released Haeryeong and approached Changcheon, who was perched by the window.

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