Chapter 30: Playing the Part

When Haeryeong avoided his gaze without saying a word, the Emperor drew closer and buried his nose in the man’s trailing hair.

Haeryeong pulled his head back, burdened by the Emperor’s nostrils flaring enough to shift his hair, but the Emperor simply grabbed Haeryeong’s shoulders.

Every time the man moved, the scent of peonies filled Haeryeong’s nose.

The scent was so thick that the Emperor’s original fragrance was undetectable; it felt as though the Noble Consort had marked his territory, which was utterly unpleasant.

He had never wished to have it confirmed in such a manner that he did not belong to this man.

Still, it was a relief in a way.

He had been concerned that the relationship between the Emperor and the Consort had grown distant, but it seemed that was not the case.

In fact, he felt like clapping his hands at the news.

‘That is how it should be.’

The better the relationship between the two, the higher the chance Haeryeong could become a deposed Empress.

However, there was no guarantee the Emperor wouldn’t become obsessed again if their relationship became too good, which was a separate source of anxiety.

‘Is it truly impossible to have a single moment of peace?’

Haeryeong leaned his head against the man’s shoulder as he was pulled in and let out a long breath through his nose.

“Why do you sigh so?”

Haeryeong tilted his head to look up at him and slowly parted his lips.

“It is because I fear the arrival of the heat cycle.”

“Do you still fear it so much?”

Haeryeong stole a glance at the man’s face, which was full of amusement, before barely managing to part his parched lips.

The upper lip, which had been stuck to the lower, tore away with a stinging pain.

“…Yes.”

As if his lip had cracked, he licked the stinging spot with his tongue and tasted the metallic tang of blood.

Thump, thump. His heart, which had been calm, suddenly began to beat violently.

The Emperor leaned in and gently licked the blood-stained lower lip.

Realizing what the man wanted, Haeryeong obediently opened his mouth.

A strange glow flickered in the Emperor’s eyes as he took Haeryeong’s lips while keeping their gazes locked.

Haeryeong closed his eyes, wanting to escape that intense stare.

The moment the wet, slippery muscle delved inside, he squeezed his eyelids shut with all his might.

His brow furrowed involuntarily at the flower scent filling his nostrils.

When the man’s arm slid from his shoulder to wrap around his waist, a shiver ran down Haeryeong’s spine.

‘What is this unpleasant emotion rising weakly along my spine?’

Haeryeong opened his eyes briefly to scan the Emperor’s face during the kiss and quickly found the answer.

He hated him.

He hated this thick scent the man carried, and he hated the loathsome tongue rummaging through his mouth.

And more than anything else, he hated the man himself.

In this moment, Haeryeong sincerely thought that the man was disgusting.

The moment he acknowledged his true feelings, it felt as though the blood in his entire body turned cold.

As if sensing the body that had gone stiff as a board, the Emperor pulled his lips away and whispered Haeryeong’s name.

“Empress?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Haeryeong replied to his call with downcast eyes.

“Is the kiss still so difficult for you?”

“I am… deeply sorry.”

It was such an ordeal to face the chuckling man that Haeryeong could not lift his gaze.

He felt a violent hatred—one he hadn’t known was hidden within him—fill his chest and spread to his limbs.

Haeryeong thought he knew himself reasonably well.

He was not of a harsh enough character to truly hate someone, nor was he persistent enough to carry such a feeling for long.

Even when he opened his eyes again after falling to the Emperor’s sword, Haeryeong hadn’t even thought of hating him.

He had merely felt sorrowful and resentful that the man had not shared even a fragment of his heart.

And he had been nothing but terrified to recall that cold gaze.

Thus, he had agonized and agonized over whether he still harbored lingering attachments for the man.

He had no choice.

Having lived as an Eumin since childhood, he had been taught until he had calluses on his ears that he must serve the Yangin.

He was told that jealousy in an Eumin was a sin and that he must always live in harmony with other consorts and concubines.

So, even while the Noble Consort monopolized the Emperor’s heart and Haeryeong received not a shred of affection or even basic interest, he had lived without even thinking of resentment.

Living so foolishly, even when he ultimately lost his life to that cold blade, Haeryeong—educated as he was—had only felt fear and sadness.

He had felt as though it were his own sin that he had failed to win the man’s heart, and the thought had tormented him incessantly.

However, how could one seek affection from someone who hated you just for breathing?

What was he supposed to do with a man who only grew colder?

Haeryeong finally realized it now.

It was not his fault.

Everything was that man’s fault.

He hated him so much he could not bear it—this man who had been so cold all along and was now touching him out of mere curiosity.

‘I wish you would have just ignored me as you did before.’

‘Then I wouldn’t have to sit here in your arms, smelling of the Consort, chewing on these miserable emotions.’

‘If only he had even the smallest bit of genuine feeling for me, would it be this wretched?’

Haeryeong shook his head inwardly, squeezing his eyes shut.

‘How can you try to expect anything from him again like this?’

If the Emperor had even a shred of feeling for him, he wouldn’t have come to the Empress smelling so strongly of the Consort.

If he had any consideration at all, he wouldn’t have spent all his time with the Consort only to seek Haeryeong out at this late hour.

‘Haeryeong, you foolish thing.’

‘Do you still have expectations left for him after everything you’ve suffered?’

‘Let us not do this. Do not.’

‘What use is it to measure whether he was like this or that? What does it matter now?’

Haeryeong scolded himself behind his closed eyes.

‘Have you still not come to your senses after dying like that? You foolish person.’

Clenching his trembling fists as he wanted to beat his stifled chest, Haeryeong opened his eyes and looked up at him.

“Empress, what is the matter?”

The Emperor peered into Haeryeong’s face, his brow slightly furrowed.

As if he were actually worried.

Haeryeong stared blankly into those glistening eyes and then slowly shook his head.

He steeled his heart once more.

“If Your Majesty… does not find me repulsive…”

If the man was going to act that way, Haeryeong would do the same.

“Please teach me. What should I do?”

‘If you intend to deceive me with feigned tenderness, I shall do the same to you.’

He made that vow.

With a faint smile, Haeryeong looked up and placed a hand on the man’s chest.

The Emperor stared down at the hand for a moment before his eyes curved into a smile.

“To have you act this way so suddenly… it is both bewildering and pleasing. My heart is quite complicated.”

Haeryeong widened his eyes as if he didn’t understand the meaning and asked:

“Did Your Majesty not say so yourself? That I fell in love with you at first sight.”

“Ah, yes, I did say that.”

Haeryeong blinked rapidly and looked up at him.

“Is it strange for me to act this way toward the husband I fell for at first sight? Was I… unable to express my feelings well to Your Majesty in the past?”

When he lightly furrowed his brow, the Emperor’s face drew closer.

He lightly pressed his lips near the corner of Haeryeong’s eye, and the breath from his whisper tickled the hair covering Haeryeong’s ear.

“How could that be? My Haeryeong has been lovely all along.”

He was playing along.

The Emperor was dancing to the rhythm Haeryeong had set.

‘I see, this is how I must do it.’

Haeryeong lowered his eyes as if shy and burrowed into the man’s embrace.

“Please do not look unfavorably upon my fears. Since Your Majesty is so tender, I shall also put forth my best efforts.”

Haeryeong lifted his head and closed his eyes gently.

With the hand on the man’s chest, he lightly tugged at the sleeping tunic.

He slightly parted his lips and fluttered them as if begging for a kiss.

“Therefore, Your Majesty, please share your vast affection with me. Though my body is lacking, please cherish me.”

The man leaned down over Haeryeong’s lips and whispered.

“I shall gladly do so.”

When their lips touched, Haeryeong let out a hot breath and tilted his head back.

He willingly sucked on the tongue that entered his parted mouth.

The moment their lips separated briefly, Haeryeong slowly opened his eyes.

He lowered the gaze that had been looking up and blushed shyly toward him.

Haeryeong began arranging the pieces on the chessboard he had once flipped over.

Carefully placing each piece back in its proper position, he never took his eyes off the Emperor.

‘This time, I will surely stand on the same starting line as him.’

He made that firm resolution.

The next day, the moment he opened his eyes, he received a kiss that felt like it would melt him.

The Emperor had spent the entire night holding Haeryeong and kissing him before finally falling asleep late, only to seek out Haeryeong’s lips the second he woke up.

Haeryeong lay obediently in his arms, parting his lips and releasing his own scent.

By the time the scent he had been releasing since yesterday had sufficiently layered over the man, the tray for the early morning meal was brought in.

Haeryeong first cleansed his mouth with the cool water-kimchi broth before beginning to eat.

Thanks to the tangy broth, saliva began to flow in his mouth—which had been cloying from the kissing—and he finally felt an appetite.

Just as he was about to take a bite, the Emperor placed a piece of seasoned seaweed on his spoon.

“Today, simply choose a horse at the stables and return. Your scent has grown even thicker than yesterday.”

“Leave the hawk training to Su-yong.”

“I shall do so.”

When Haeryeong nodded obediently, the Emperor placed a slice of radish on his empty spoon and continued.

“Once your heat cycle begins, I shall come to you immediately.”

“I shall be waiting.”

The Emperor smiled, seemingly satisfied with Haeryeong’s answer.

However, the man did not touch the porridge before him; instead, he kept moving side dishes onto Haeryeong’s spoon.

“Are you not going to eat, Your Majesty?”

“The thing I want to eat is something else entirely.”