Chapter 20: Practice for What Is to Come

The Emperor had been frequenting the Empress’s Palace for nearly fifteen days now.

His visits were so persistent that Haeryeong’s initial belief—that the man would lose interest if he merely played along—was rendered utterly futile.

Haeryeong worried that, despite himself, he might develop an misplaced affection for the man.

Sharing a bed every single night only deepened that concern.

In the beginning, he had fallen into a deep sleep, exhausted by his fever.

But lately, even with his health recovered, he found himself falling into a profound slumber without even realizing what the man beside him was doing.

It seemed he had already grown accustomed to the arrangement.

Waking up in the morning to find himself still in the man’s arms, enveloped in the lingering scent of peach blossoms, no longer felt as strange as it once did.

Now that the fever had broken and the water warmers were no longer needed, they had grown even closer; Haeryeong would instinctively burrow into the man’s embrace to escape the dawn chill.

‘What on earth am I to do?’

Haeryeong feared that he might fall for him all over again.

He was terrified that he would end up pining for the man alone once more.

Thus, while he could do nothing about his actions while asleep, Haeryeong made a conscious effort to remain wary of the Emperor whenever he was awake.

Truthfully, he felt a chill every time the man smiled, so conscious effort was hardly necessary.

Still, is it not said that a person’s heart is as fickle as a reed?

Consequently, Haeryeong steeled his heart whenever the Emperor pretended to be tender.

He vowed that this time, he would not be foolishly led along.

“The magnolias are in full bloom.”

At the Emperor’s words, Haeryeong turned his head to see white and purple magnolias blooming side by side on the path to the Buyeong Pavilion.

The sight of the purple magnolias, seemingly pressed down by the branches of the larger white magnolias, felt like a reflection of his own plight, and he grew melancholy.

Though they managed to bloom even under such pressure, many were still just buds, perhaps because they blossomed later than the white variety.

It seemed that human life was not the only thing fraught with hardship.

“The white magnolias resemble the Empress.”

“Is that so?”

Hearing such a thing while thinking the white magnolias were being quite cruel by pressing down on the purple ones made Haeryeong feel bitter.

‘Then does that mean those small purple magnolias resemble the Consort?’

“And who do the purple magnolias resemble?”

“Why, do they not resemble me?”

Haeryeong covered his mouth and let out a small laugh.

‘Just what are you talking about?’

“Your Imperial Majesty is far larger than I, yet you say I am the white magnolia?”

“The size visible to the eye is not what matters.”

“Besides, look. Does that branch resting there not look exactly like the Empress cradled in my arms?”

‘Does it look that way to him because he spent so much time carrying me around when I was ill?’

Truthfully, it was difficult to agree, but if the Emperor saw it that way, then so be it.

“Now that I hear Your Majesty’s words, it does appear so.”

As he lowered his eyes and bowed his head in agreement, the Emperor approached and kissed him near his forehead.

Haeryeong, startled by the man’s recent habit of acting so unexpectedly, simply froze and blinked.

Then, the Emperor would let out a short chuckle and begin his usual teasing.

“Should you not be used to this by now?”

“I apologize…”

When Haeryeong fell silent in embarrassment, the man approached again with a sly smile.

He could feel the man’s breath against his cheek, causing his neck to shrink back instinctively.

‘Why does this man keep doing this?’

He felt nothing but fear.

“Being virtuous is nothing to apologize for.”

“I suppose I am still a stranger to you.”

“Things will improve once we spend the upcoming heat cycle together.”

The man’s lips drew close to the corner of Haeryeong’s eye.

Haeryeong squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best not to show his horror.

‘A heat cycle?’

‘Does he truly intend to spend this next cycle with me?’

He wanted to hide his true feelings, but this time, he felt like crying.

Just the thought of the heat cycles he had spent with the man made his heart fill with gloom, like dark clouds gathering.

“Is it not still too early for us to consummate…? I am only seventeen…”

At the sensation of the Emperor pulling back slightly, Haeryeong opened his eyes only to hear an indifferent reply.

“You constantly forget that your body has already passed its twentieth year.”

“Besides, my mother gave birth to me at seventeen. The late Empress also bore my elder brother, the Crown Prince, at nineteen. Therefore, age is no obstacle to spending the heat cycle.”

The man was right.

Early marriages and early childbirths were not uncommon among the Imperial family.

When Haeryeong could not find a rebuttal, the man asked with a loose smile.

“It seems the Empress truly dislikes the idea of sharing his body with me.”

Haeryeong hurriedly wetted his lips.

“It is not that…”

A thousand thoughts swirled in his mind in that short instant.

What was the correct answer?

In the end, Haeryeong decided to speak at least a portion of his true feelings.

“To be honest, I am afraid.”

The Emperor widened his eyes as if Haeryeong’s answer was unexpected.

“You said you are afraid?”

“Yes. It is a foreign experience to me, so I am fearful.”

The man nodded, though he looked as if he didn’t understand at all.

“Then I shall simply make it so you are no longer afraid.”

“Pardon…?”

“If we start with a kiss and get you accustomed to it, would that not solve it?”

‘How does the conversation jump to that again?’

As Haeryeong shrank back, the man wrapped an arm around his waist as if to block his retreat.

“Your Majesty… there are many eyes watching.”

‘Does he truly intend to kiss me here, of all places?’

True to the saying that a “perhaps” can catch a man, the Emperor seemed serious; he tightened his grip on Haeryeong and leaned his face in close.

“It is not as if we are copulating; what does it matter if there are eyes watching a simple kiss?”

“Copulating? To use such vulgar language… it will only bring shame upon Your Majesty’s digni—mmph.”

The man’s lips pressed against his, cutting off his words.

Haeryeong’s eyes went wide in shock, and when their gazes met, the man pulled away briefly to giggle.

“I shall show you what true vulgarity is during your heat cycle.”

Just what exactly did he plan to show him?

Haeryeong trembled, guessing at the hidden meaning behind the Emperor’s words.

Whatever it was, it certainly wouldn’t be anything good for him.

Perhaps misinterpreting Haeryeong’s trembling, the Emperor spoke in a soothing voice.

“It is not your first kiss, after all. Did I not personally feed you your medicine?”

‘Does he mean that revolting decoction?’

Recalling the taste made his brow furrow instinctively.

Furthermore, the memory of vomiting on the Emperor’s sleeping robe made the blood drain from his face.

“Your face is quite busy—clearing, clouding over, then turning deathly pale.”

A faint scent of peach blossoms drifted from the man as he let out a short chuckle.

Haeryeong clamped his mouth shut, feeling as though his stomach might turn.

Desperate to get away from the man who was drawing closer, he leaned his back away, causing the Emperor to narrow his eyes.

“Where do you keep trying to go?”

As the scent of peach blossoms grew stronger, Haeryeong felt the life drain further from his face.

When the Emperor’s lips were inches away, Haeryeong clasped his hands before his chest and squeezed his eyes shut.

Something damp lightly nipped at his lips before pulling away.

Before Haeryeong could feel relieved at the departure, something hot swept across the seam of his lips.

Haeryeong trembled, putting all his strength into his desperately clasped hands.

The Emperor, having finished tracing his teeth, whispered in a slightly deeper voice.

“You must open your mouth.”

“B-but… mmph…”

The man delved inside while he was still stumblingly trying to speak.

The hand that had been wrapped around his waist moved up to support his back firmly.

With his free hand, the Emperor cupped Haeryeong’s jaw.

Haeryeong tried to clench his jaw shut, but the pressure of the man’s grip was so strong it made his jaw joint ache, and a groan escaped him involuntarily.

The Emperor leisurely explored the interior of Haeryeong’s mouth.

Every time a wet, squelching sound escaped, the man patted Haeryeong’s back as if to soothe his flinching shoulders.

Haeryeong felt as if he were suffocating on the scent of peach blossoms.

By the end, his legs gave way because he had been holding his breath to avoid inhaling the man’s scent.

The Emperor, holding his swaying body firmly, laughed into Haeryeong’s mouth, the vibrations of his chuckle transferring directly.

“If you remain this stiff, we have a long way to go.”

At the Emperor’s whisper as he pulled his lips away, Haeryeong’s eyelids burned hot.

Shameful memories from the past resurfaced.

A sob escaped Haeryeong’s lips.

The Emperor hadn’t changed at all.

His heart was a mess, unsure whether to be relieved or aggrieved by that fact.

While he gasped for air, the Emperor eventually pulled away.

When he opened his eyes at the sensation of a finger brushing his closed lids, he saw the Emperor’s face blurred through his wet vision.

“Was it truly that frightening?”

As he blinked rapidly, his tears dried and his vision cleared.

The Emperor’s expression looked a mix of mischievous and troubled.

Haeryeong didn’t even want to try and gauge his emotions, so he simply lowered his eyes.

“I apologize.”

With a short laugh, the man moved the arm from his back down to his waist and began walking again.

Haeryeong walked with his eyes fixed only on the ground, struggling to move his trembling legs to keep up.

Perhaps due to the tension, his heartbeat grew louder.

His mouth felt parched as he endured the urge to break free from the man’s arm.

“Since your heat cycle is only a few days away, let us start putting in the effort from today.”

“Effort for what, Your Majesty?”

“Effort until the Empress is accustomed to me.”

“My body has not yet fully recovered.”

Realizing the Emperor’s gaze was sharpening, Haeryeong added hurriedly.

“It is not that I am unwilling…”

“Then what is it?”

“I have heard it is very painful and agonizing, so I am worried I might be found lacking in my service to Your Majesty… that is all. I beg for your understanding.”

The Emperor let out a scoff as if the idea were contemptible, then offered a sly smile.

“Painful? Intimacy during a heat cycle is not that difficult at all.”

“So, set aside your fears.”