Chapter 75: If Time Were Turned Back

Haeryeong appeared as if he might collapse at any moment, his face entirely bloodless as he panted for air.

He quickly licked his dry lips and rested his forehead against the shoulder of the leaning Gangcheon.

“I am deeply sorry.”

This wasn’t exactly the answer he had wanted.

Gangcheon laughed quietly as he pulled Haeryeong into an embrace.

Despite his mild appearance, the man’s stubbornness was tougher than a bull’s tendon.

He babbled so well just to protect a dead man’s neck, yet he never once let slip his own true inner feelings.

‘It is because you are so foolish that you have been out of favor until now.’

Instead of voicing that rebuke, Gangcheon patted Haeryeong’s back and whispered in his ear.

“Very well, how would the Empress like me to handle this?”

As he began to soothe him, Haeryeong let out a sigh mixed with a sob.

With his gasping breath heavy with moisture, he spoke in a slightly lowered voice.

“Please, lower your rage just a little.”

“Show the officials a heart as vast as the sea, Your Majesty.”

“Is it not the way of the world that ruling by force is a burden to both the one leading and the ones being led?”

“Give the officials a chance to be loyal to Your Majesty of their own accord.”

Gangcheon let out a smirk at his textbook logic.

There was no way things would work out so smoothly.

“Since the Empress says so, I shall give it more thought.”

Haeryeong raised his head in surprise as the man whispered in a voice full of amusement.

Gangcheon giggled and cupped Haeryeong’s face.

When he pressed his tongue against those dry, rough lips, Haeryeong obediently opened them.

He couldn’t stop the stifled laughter while pushing his tongue inside.

Holding the trembling shoulders, he explored the hot interior of the mouth and looked into Haeryeong’s half-closed eyes.

As if sensing the gaze, Haeryeong tilted his eyes upward, his long lashes quivering.

His clear eyes were difficult to read, appearing only infinitely gentle and soft.

Three years of being left alone after the state marriage.

Surely that was enough time for spite to take root.

Yet, why was this creature so pure?

Gangcheon pulled Haeryeong into his arms, a long smile spreading across his face.

When he pulled his lips away and buried his face in the man’s neck, he caught a fresh, crisp scent of wood.

He inhaled deeply, held it for a moment, and then let out a heavy sigh.

Gangcheon hugged Haeryeong’s body tighter and let out one lament after another.

The Empress would undoubtedly become his weakness.

He knew he should only cherish him to a moderate degree, yet he couldn’t help but laugh even at this stubborn display.

It was a grave matter.

Gangcheon let out a soft laugh, tracing his hand down the back of Haeryeong, who simply remained in his embrace without hugging him back.

“Will you not even say thank you?”

“I am overwhelmed with gratitude for Your Majesty’s generous decision.”

“Then, embrace me tightly for once.”

Only then did Haeryeong raise his arms to wrap them around Gangcheon’s torso.

The sensation of the palms slowly rubbing across his back was ticklish.

It wasn’t just the skin; it felt as though it were touching somewhere deep inside his body.

“What do you intend to do once you have made me a wise ruler?”

The sound of Haeryeong parting his lips to answer reached his ear with a wet clarity.

Gangcheon quietly closed his eyes at the shiver-inducing sensation.

“Your Majesty, if you could turn back time, what would you do?”

“If you closed your eyes after being struck by someone’s sword, only to wake up and find time had returned to the past, what would you do?”

Gangcheon let out a soft laugh at the sudden, cryptic question without overthinking it.

“If I returned, I would find the one destined to kill me and kill them first.”

Haeryeong replied with a small laugh.

“I expected you to say as much.”

That laugh somehow felt like a patronizing click of the tongue.

Gangcheon pulled his body away and glared at him with narrowed eyes.

Haeryeong, who had been laughing, caught Gangcheon’s gaze, bit his inner lip, and studied the man’s mood.

“And what would the Empress do in such a case?”

Haeryeong cast his eyes down at an angle.

“I do not know.”

“If I could run away, that would be the first thing I would do.”

“And if it were someone you could not escape from?”

“What would be best? Perhaps I would plead for my life.”

“Or if it were someone who hated me, I thought I could remove the cause of that hatred so they would no longer feel that way.”

“Would that really be enough?”

Haeryeong let out a small sigh at Gangcheon’s incredulous tone.

“At first, I thought I would simply hate them.”

“If you encountered your killer again, would they not be a sworn enemy?”

“Yet, if time has already returned, does it not mean that person has done nothing yet?”

“If so, are they my enemy or not? Your servant finds that the most difficult question.”

“Even if it is something that hasn’t happened to them yet, it is something that already happened to me.”

“In that case, they are no different from an enemy.”

“Regardless of the reason why that person did it?”

“If the situation changes and my attitude also changes, might that person’s grudge not disappear?”

“And if it doesn’t change even then, what will you do?”

He had thought the man was merely gentle, but he seemed a bit lacking as well.

If things could change that easily, how could they be called an enemy?

Humans do not change so easily.

Haeryeong lowered his eyes as if deep in thought.

Then, after a moment, he spoke words that were truly frustrating to hear.

“They say even a school dog can recite poetry after three years.”

“Since we are humans, if I were to stick by them and try to change them for three years, would they not become at least a little different?”

Gangcheon clicked his tongue.

“The Empress is far too optimistic.”

“You would truly have the heart to stick by such a person for all those years to reform them?”

“Even the Buddha himself could not manage that.”

Haeryeong’s eyes narrowed petulantly.

He shot the man a brief side-glance and then sharply turned his head away.

“It is not as if your servant is always so understanding.”

“It is just a thought I had now.”

“If it can be changed, would it not be best for both to live and for things to shift?”

“They say that if you live only calling something hateful, everything starts to look hateful.”

“But if you live thinking something isn’t hateful even if it is, might there not come a day when it becomes beautiful?”

As they spoke, Gangcheon felt a strange sensation.

It sounded as if the Empress were describing someone he himself had called hateful until they actually became so.

“So, who is this person?”

He asked, wondering if the man was talking about him, but Haeryeong merely curved his narrowed eyes into a quiet smile.

Haeryeong shook his head slowly at the Emperor’s question.

“Who could such a person be to me?”

“I was merely thinking about what would happen if such a thing occurred.”

The Emperor certainly had extraordinary intuition.

Had he realized it was himself from just this much conversation?

Avoiding the Emperor’s suspicious gaze, Haeryeong brushed back the hair that had fallen over his shoulder.

“Have I looked only hateful to you because I kept calling myself hateful?”

Haeryeong let out a small laugh at his words.

As he quietly closed his eyes, the image of the Dohwa-gak Pavilion from the first year of their marriage surfaced, and he shook his head.

In the beginning, it was the opposite.

The more he stole glances at the masculine man, the more his heart had fluttered in infatuation.

But now that he had returned after being struck by his sword, how did he feel?

He hated him, disliked him, and feared him.

Though that fear still resurfaced from time to time, it was also an undeniable reality that he had grown accustomed to the man while sharing their bodies.

Even as he thought “I hate him, I hate him,” his heart would still easily flutter.

He was simply troubled, unable to tell if it was excitement or sorrow, fear or joy.

Thus, Haeryeong decided to set his feelings aside.

Was his life not one that could never escape the Imperial Palace anyway?

Whatever whim it was, the Emperor was sticking by him constantly, so would it not be better to try and guide him?

He had thought so during their long conversation, but the Emperor’s words were right.

Would a person truly change so easily?

Would his cruel nature really vanish just like that?

It was not a problem that could be solved simply by Haeryeong settling his own accounts of gratitude and resentment.

Haeryeong let out a quiet sigh and lifted his eyes to look at the Emperor.

Despite the look of petty annoyance on his face, something markedly different from before was visible in his eyes.

He wondered what it could be.

He was curious, but he didn’t expect much.

He didn’t trust him, either.

Even if that something truly was a growing affection or some similar emotion directed at him.

He pondered this and that in his own way, but no solution presented itself.

The fact that the Emperor’s reactions had changed so much from the past was also a problem that plagued Haeryeong.

When he saw a more flexible reaction, he felt he could guide the man through persuasion, but the moment he saw those sapphire eyes turn cold, that intention would vanish instantly.

It was truly a series of insurmountable obstacles.

And with the tallest mountain of all standing right before his eyes, how could his chest not feel heavy?

“You must be returning now, Your Majesty.”

Though he kept thinking “I hate him, I hate him,” the recent Emperor seemed a bit less hateful.

Hearing that he had rushed over because he was worried about Haeryeong standing there made him feel slightly grateful.

He had feared the man would be angry when they spoke of the Minister, yet he had accepted it with a smirk, causing those fears to vanish as if they had never existed.

“You have heard the answer you wanted, so you are telling me to get lost, is that it?”

‘I suppose he is still a bit hateful.’

Haeryeong suppressed the urge to glare and instead stroked the man’s face with his hand.

“Must you not attend to your duties quickly so that we may share dinner together?”

“Your servant shall be waiting for the moment Your Majesty returns.”

“Please return quickly.”

As he whispered softly, the Emperor narrowed his eyes, which had been raised mockingly.

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