Chapter 89: A Fragile Closeness

Haeryeong, with his eyes closed, rolled his pupils again and felt a sharp prick of guilt.

So he buried his face in the chest of the man holding him.

He only intended to hide his face for a moment so the Emperor could not see it.

Yet it was quite strange.

Just as the man’s scent felt a little stronger, sleep began to pull at him.

Although it was the Emperor who said he was weary, for some reason, it was always Haeryeong who fell into slumber first.

Following the man’s slow, rhythmic patting, Haeryeong moved toward the swamp of sleep without even realizing it.

And in a single instant, he was submerged up to the crown of his head.

****

He must have slept comfortably throughout the night.

When morning came, the Emperor’s face looked much better than it had the night before.

He had brushed it off, thinking the man was truly just exhausted.

Watching the Emperor visit for several days straight and sleep by his side, Haeryeong felt a truly peculiar sensation.

The man had threatened and intimidated him as if he were about to do something terrible, yet it turned out to be nothing but empty words.

Quite differently from just a short while ago, the recent Emperor acted soft, as if all his teeth had fallen out.

He even seemed a bit drained of energy, which subtly made Haeryeong worry about him.

What a truly bizarre individual.

While his evaluation of the Emperor hadn’t improved much, he felt less terrified lately.

No, perhaps the fear had been fading little by little since before.

Otherwise, how could he have boldly told the Emperor to just go back?

Thinking about it now, he wondered if his audacity had grown far too large.

If one watched closely, the Emperor acted quite gently toward those he had given his heart to.

The Noble Consort was one, but it was also apparent in how he treated the Chief Eunuch who accompanied him.

Even when the Chief Eunuch subtly spoke the plain truth to him, the Emperor only smirked and sent him a light glare before letting it pass.

While it was clear the Chief Eunuch knew his place and handled the Emperor skillfully, it was also clear the Emperor was surprisingly soft on him.

The members of the Black Shadow Unit were the same.

Aside from showing their loyalty, one could tell by Han Su-yong’s attitude that they treated the Emperor with quite a bit of familiarity.

Indeed, the Consort was the same.

Looking around, the one who found the Emperor most difficult among his inner circle was Haeryeong.

But was it because he kept seeing such things around him?

Lately, a strange feeling was growing within him.

“Word has arrived from Yeonseo.”

The Emperor, who had been taking his lunch at the Consort’s Palace for the past few days, appeared and spoke the moment he saw Haeryeong’s face.

When Haeryeong’s eyes went wide in surprise, the man teased him with a smirk.

“Will you not ask what news it is?”

“Could it be… news that my mother is coming?”

He hadn’t dared to hope, but if the man came personally to deliver it, he believed it must be welcome news.

His face, flushed with excitement, filled with heat from the expectation.

The Emperor lightly rubbed the burning cheek with the back of his hand and shook his head.

“Regrettably, I heard the Grand Lady of the State cannot come.”

“Instead, it seems she intends to send one of your siblings in her stead.”

“Has the envoy already arrived?”

“Only the express courier arrived first. The envoy will come soon, guiding the party from Yeonseo.”

The Emperor pulled a small, palm-sized folded letter from his sleeve and waved it before Haeryeong’s eyes.

“It is a letter sent by the Grand Lady.”

Looking at his mischievous smile, Haeryeong knew he was about to demand something again.

Haeryeong steadied his pounding heart and approached the Emperor, looking up at him.

“Is it truly a letter Mother sent to me?”

The Emperor wore a strange expression as he looked down at Haeryeong, who had his hands clasped before his chest.

The teasing look that had filled his face a moment ago was gone, replaced by slightly knit brows that made him look displeased with something.

Worried that he had sparked the man’s pettiness, Haeryeong scanned his face with piteous eyes.

He was so restless that he couldn’t even voice his plea for the letter, fearing a rejection, and simply shifted his body anxiously.

The Emperor looked down at Haeryeong with that same odd expression before holding out the letter as if to hand it over.

‘Is he just giving it to me?’

When Haeryeong hesitated to reach out at the unexpected gesture, the corner of the Emperor’s mouth quirked.

“Give me a kiss. I abandoned my duties and rushed here just to deliver this letter.”

“Even a dog gets praised for bringing back a branch. Why are you so stingy with your praise for me?”

Haeryeong looked at the Emperor, who seemed incapable of reflecting on his past actions, with a troubled gaze.

He had clearly stated he disliked this side of the man.

How could a human being fail so utterly to look back at the past?

Haeryeong let out a shallow sigh.

“What use is it for Your Majesty to receive a reward that is not sincere? Is a reward not only joyful when it stems from the giver’s heart?”

The Emperor clicked his tongue.

Haeryeong instinctively flinched at the sound and bowed his head deeply.

“Your servant was presumptuous. Please show mercy for my insolence.”

This was why feeling close to the Emperor was not good.

The primary problem was his own mouth, which kept thoughtlessly throwing righteous theories at the man.

The Emperor let out a long sigh over Haeryeong’s forehead and held out the letter.

“The Empress is quite skilled at silencing a person.”

Haeryeong wore an aggrieved look at the backhanded compliment.

As he stood with his head bowed dejectedly, the Emperor waved the letter in front of him again.

“Will you not take it?”

“I am too ashamed…”

The Emperor clicked his tongue and forced the letter into Haeryeong’s hand.

“Do not say things you do not mean.”

“I am… sorry.”

As a human, Haeryeong did not feel at ease after speaking poorly to another.

It was even more so because the target was the Emperor.

He usually didn’t speak so stiffly to others, yet such words flowed out easily when it came to the Emperor.

In a way, his previous claims of fear seemed like total nonsense now.

While Haeryeong only fumbled with the letter in his hand, the Emperor took his jaw and tilted it up.

Their lips met briefly and parted.

For some reason, their gaze lingered until the Emperor took a step back.

“Let us share lunch. Even if you do not praise me for the good news, surely you will not kick me out without a meal.”

Haeryeong swallowed a sigh and signaled Iryeon, who was standing nearby.

Having already been in the middle of preparations, Iryeon returned almost immediately after stepping out.

“I shall bring it in at once, Your Highness.”

“Do so.”

The Emperor remained silent while the meal was being set, then dismissed all the court ladies and eunuchs once the table was full.

“I wish to dine simply with the Empress, so all of you, withdraw.”

Once everyone was gone, the Emperor let out a sigh before even picking up his spoon.

Watching the Emperor, who was staring down with a bored look, Haeryeong spoke cautiously.

“You have been sighing quite often lately.”

“Are you telling me to just eat because you find the sight of me unpleasant?”

Haeryeong unconsciously puffed out his lips.

“Your servant was merely worried that Your Majesty might have some troubling matter on your mind.”

The Emperor set down the spoon he had been using for his soup and let out another loud sigh.

“Is life itself not just a mass of worries?”

Hearing such a thing from the man who seemed to have the fewest worries in the world felt novel.

Haeryeong blinked slowly and leaned toward him.

“Is Your Majesty… perhaps unwell?”

The Emperor narrowed his eyes and openly clicked his tongue in a scolding manner.

“The thing that makes me the most uneasy lately is you.”

“What is the use of me trying so hard to close the distance between us? You only say things that ruin the mood.”

He was a man for whom concern felt completely wasted.

To snap at a person who was asking with good intentions.

Haeryeong followed suit and set down his utensils.

“I am terrified to say this… but I feel we are already too close.”

In an instant, the Emperor slammed his hand onto an empty spot on the table.

At the loud thud, Haeryeong’s shoulders jolted and he squeezed his eyes shut.

After a moment, he heard a long, heavy exhale, as if the man were trying to settle his huffing breath.

When Haeryeong cautiously opened his eyes, he saw the Emperor biting his lip, seemingly suppressing his anger.

Sensing Haeryeong’s gaze, he clicked his tongue once more.

“I am putting in quite an effort to understand you, believe it or not.”

“I do not know how it looks to you, but I am trying very hard in my own way.”

Haeryeong was not unaware of that fact.

Seeing the man visit constantly even after being told to stay away, it seemed he indeed had some thought about what to do with this relationship.

The problem was Haeryeong.

The issue was that he could not trust the man’s heart.

While he could never forget being killed by him in his previous life, it wasn’t impossible to try and forget.

If he lived by matching the man who acted tenderly when in a good mood, perhaps he could avoid the same wretched fate.

But what if the Emperor’s heart changed again?

His heart could return to the Consort, or a new person could emerge.

It was natural for a King or Emperor to have many concubines.

Even his father in Yeonseo had three other concubines besides Haeryeong’s mother, the Queen, so it wasn’t a strange concept.

To continue the lineage, the more Imperial heirs, the better.

Until the moment he died at the man’s hands, Haeryeong had considered that to be the natural order.

Even then, he hadn’t thought the Consort’s existence was the problem.

The problem was the Emperor’s attitude, openly discriminating between the Consort and himself.

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