Chapter 57: Mistaking Favor for Love

“What are the charges against the High General?”

“It is reported to be disobedience to the Imperial command.”

‘So he intends to find a pretext to strike.’

Sirak slumped into a nearby chair, pressing his fingertips against his throbbing forehead.

“Send someone to my father. I am worried whether he is safe.”

“Yes, Your Grace. I shall send a quick-footed servant at once. Please do not worry yourself too much.”

Court Lady Han brought him warm medicinal tea, urging him to calm himself.

Sirak wrapped his bloodless hands around the teacup.

As he lifted the cup to drink, his reflection was cast clearly upon the dark surface of the liquid.

A figure with a complexion made haggard by a headache seemed to stare back at him from within the cup.

Detecting a sense of reproach in those eyes, Sirak let out a heavy sigh.

‘Indeed, why am I lingering here like this?’

About the time it takes to share a meal later, Court Lady Han returned.

She wore a look of apology, explaining that the servant sent to the Ministry of War had returned without meeting his foster father.

Lately, strangely enough, nothing was going according to his will.

Since when had it been this way?

Was it since the time the Empress fell ill?

Was it also then that the Emperor began to take an interest in him?

Even if the Empress had done nothing, Sirak felt as though every change was originating from that man.

While Sirak fell into a silent brooding without responding to Court Lady Han, another court lady entered to deliver a report.

“Your Grace. I am told His Imperial Majesty returned to the palace a moment ago and headed for the Great Hall.”

Sirak bit his lip hard.

He had intended to go and meet him the moment the Emperor returned.

‘Is going to the Great Hall truly the right choice?’

He lacked confidence, feeling as though something was constantly changing in places he did not know.

‘Will I only end up making matters worse?’

However, he could not simply wait forever.

Had it not already been over ten days since he last saw the Emperor’s face?

Even if he clung to the man every day to receive his Yang-in energy, his heat cycle barely came once every few months; if things continued like this, he would never be able to conceive.

“I shall go to the Great Hall. Lead the way.”

Even if the Emperor grew angry over this, he had no choice.

He had to drag the man to his bed, even if it meant clinging to him and weeping about his loneliness.

Sirak’s ultimate goal was to produce an Imperial heir, but that was not the immediate problem.

His priority was to seduce the Emperor into looking at him again by any means necessary.

Once they spent a night together, the man would surely stop his visits to the Empress.

He had to make it so.

Clenching his fists, Sirak followed Court Lady Han and hurried toward the Great Hall.

Upon reaching the Great Hall and announcing his arrival, no command was immediately issued by the Emperor to let him in.

Sirak stood before the Emperor’s private sanctum, where he was reportedly receiving assistance with changing his robes, and glared at the Head Court Lady of the Bedchamber.

“Announce me again.”

The Head Court Lady of the Bedchamber let out a silent sigh at Sirak’s demanding tone.

“Noble Consort. The laws of the Imperial Palace are strict; it is my duty to inform you that you must not frequent the private sanctum without His Majesty’s prior consent.”

Sirak’s eyes sharpened as they slanted upward.

“I have come because I have urgent words for His Majesty. If the Emperor questions the breach of protocol, I shall offer my apologies then. It is not your place to tell me what I may or may not do.”

“Please return to the Consort’s Palace. I shall inform His Majesty that you paid a visit.”

Sirak barely swallowed his surging rage and spoke to her in a coaxing manner.

“Did I not say I have an urgent matter to discuss? It is critical, so please, deliver the message to His Majesty one more time. If His Majesty commands me to return, I shall do so without lingering.”

‘To think I have to plead like this to a mere court lady.’

Within his long sleeves, Sirak clenched his fists, which were trembling with shame.

‘Once I regain the Emperor’s favor, I shall have that woman’s tongue cut out first.’

He made that vow.

While they went back and forth, it seemed the Emperor had finished changing.

The Chief Eunuch emerged and bowed to Sirak.

“His Majesty has granted you a moment of his time. Noble Consort, please enter.”

‘See that?’ Sirak thought, casting a side-glance at the bowing Head Court Lady of the Bedchamber as a smile graced his lips.

Upon entering, he saw the Emperor sitting in a chair, lost in thought.

Sirak approached him and bent his knees in a formal bow.

“I humble myself before your noble presence.”

There was no reaction from the Emperor, who usually would have reached out a hand immediately.

Left standing with his knees bent without permission to rise, his legs soon began to shake and his neck grew stiff.

Only after Sirak’s breathing grew heavy did the Emperor lift his head and offer his usual warm smile.

“I was lost in thought and unintentionally left the Consort standing. Rise and come here.”

“Your grace is boundless.”

As Sirak approached, the Emperor extended his hand as usual.

The moment Sirak placed his hand upon it, the man yanked him forward into his embrace.

“It has been quite a while since we faced each other like this. Tell me, how have you been?”

Sirak gently pushed against the man as he kissed his cheek, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

“Since Your Majesty has not sought me out, your servant is withering away.”

When he grumbled with a pampered air, the Emperor laughed heartily and patted Sirak.

“I have been busy attending to state affairs. Were you very lonely?”

At the tender voice, tears fell rapidly as if his heart had been overwhelmed.

The Emperor made sympathetic sounds as he allowed Sirak to rest his face against his shoulder.

“Oh dear, oh dear. Were you that lonely?”

“Without Your Majesty here to see me to sleep every night, your servant could not find rest. How could you be so heartless?”

Sirak sobbed, clutching the dragon robe the man wore.

The Emperor laughed softly and rested his cheek against Sirak’s forehead.

“It was because the Empress’s condition had not yet fully improved.”

Sirak lifted his head and met the Emperor’s gaze with tear-filled eyes.

“Is the Empress’s illness truly that grave? I heard he was out practicing his horsemanship every day…”

“I am told his illness stems from his Eumin energy being too powerful, so I must stay by his side for a while to neutralize it. Therefore, Consort, do not be so lonely. Is my heart not always with you? Hmm?”

Sirak already knew the supposed cause of the Empress’s illness.

However, if he was well enough to move about, surely the energy had been sufficiently neutralized?

Despite this, the Emperor was making excuses to Sirak while refusing to leave the Empress’s side.

Sirak embraced the Emperor’s shoulders, his eyes still glistening.

“But Your Majesty, I am afraid. I fear that Your Majesty will forget my existence, and I cannot sleep at night for the dread of it.”

Sirak rubbed his face against the Emperor’s neck, his tears falling steadily.

“Will you truly not come to see this Consort anymore?”

The Emperor smiled tenderly and wiped away the tears streaming down Sirak’s cheeks.

In his usual smile and his usual voice, the Emperor whispered.

“Did I not say I would send word once you were studying hard? Why act like such a child, Sirak-ah?”

Sirak’s eyes went wide.

No matter how much he scanned the Emperor with his violently trembling pupils, nothing changed.

The Emperor, who had always acted as if he would grant Sirak’s every wish, was still smiling just as he always had.

“Your servant is also putting in effort.”

“That is not what Sang-hyo tells me.”

Whispering in an affectionate tone, the Emperor gently rubbed Sirak’s cheek.

“Did you not say you wanted to be the Empress?”

Sirak swallowed hard and shook his head.

“It was not that I wanted to be the Empress. I only wanted to be someone closer to Your Majesty. How can you not understand my heart?”

The man let out a soft laugh.

The Emperor’s eyes narrowed into thin crescents.

“Of course I know. How could I not know your heart? However, the weather today is truly not good. Therefore, return to your quarters. I may be too busy to visit for a while, but I promise I shall come to see you soon.”

“Be a good boy,” he added, and Sirak forgot his weeping as he stared at the Emperor’s face for a long time.

Seeing the unchanging expression, he realized he had been underestimating the Emperor.

Because of the tender voice that whispered whenever he held him, Sirak had truly believed the man loved him.

Even though he had never once heard the word “love,” the man’s gaze and touch had said as much, so Sirak had been confident, taking it for granted.

But he was wrong.

The Emperor had simply been playing with a cherished toy.

Perhaps there was some attachment, as he took care of it and kept it close.

But that was different from love, was it not?

Whatever that emotion was, it was not what Sirak desired.

Gangcheon soothed the hardening expression on Sirak’s face once more before rising from his seat.

Even if he wanted to deal with him further, he had to go at once to interrogate the detained Minister of Public Works and the High General.

A report had already come through Seok-hwan that the Office of the Inspector General had seized both sets of ledgers, so he did not wish to delay any further.

“We are quite busy today. You should return now.”

Even after being dismissed so firmly, Sirak struggled to move his feet before finally offering his farewell.

“Please, come to see your servant once this matter is settled, Your Majesty. I shall be waiting.”

“Of course, I shall.”

Gangcheon asked Sirak, who was about to withdraw, as if in passing.

“By the way, did you say your hometown was Hanseong?”

Sirak bowed his head with a look of confusion as he answered.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I was born and raised in Hanseong. But… why do you ask?”

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