Chapter 90: Please Leave Me Alone

Therefore, he knew that whether there were other concubines or not, the best possible outcome would be to maintain a good relationship with the Emperor.

That is, as long as the Emperor’s heart did not flip as easily as one turns a palm.

If only there were a guarantee that he could live peacefully and die of old age.

But how could that be?

Haeryeong could not trust the Emperor.

In his previous life, the man had mistreated him for reasons no one knew.

And now, for reasons no one knew, he was distancing himself from the Noble Consort.

How could he live trusting that reed-like heart, not knowing what would happen next?

Must he live like that, trembling with anxiety dozens or hundreds of times a day?

A human heart was not that strong.

Furthermore, the patient Haeryeong of the past had already died by the Emperor’s sword, leaving only his current, immature, and trembling self.

And the Haeryeong that remained believed he could no longer live that way.

Haeryeong gazed at him calmly before letting his eyes drift toward the table.

How should he express his heart to him?

“Your servant is not ignorant of Your Majesty’s intentions.”

Haeryeong added a small sigh to the end of his words and looked at him again.

“It has been three years, Your Majesty.”

“It has been nearly three years since your servant became Your Majesty’s legal spouse.”

“Were you not the one who never even spared a glance for your servant during that time?”

“Even if you suddenly act so tenderly now, how could your servant possibly fathom the heart behind it?”

His mouth went bone-dry.

Haeryeong couldn’t even touch the water prepared for rinsing his mouth; he barely managed to moisten it by running his tongue along the parched membranes.

Once enough saliva returned to make his tongue move smoothly, Haeryeong spoke again.

“Just because you act tenderly with your words, does that make it true tenderness?”

“Just because we kiss and share our bodies, will affection that never existed suddenly spring forth? Your servant does not know.”

As he spoke, his eyes grew hot.

As he unraveled the layers of resentment he had built up one by one, his chest grew increasingly heavy.

“How should your servant think of Your Majesty, who refuses to share his semen even during the heat cycle?”

“How can your servant trust Your Majesty, who seeks out the Noble Consort the moment the heat cycle ends?”

The Emperor remained silent, staring intently only at Haeryeong.

Haeryeong squeezed his eyes shut, feeling ashamed for pouring out such grievances.

A sigh burst forth involuntarily.

Haeryeong opened his eyes and met the gaze of the Emperor, who was still looking at him with a somber expression.

“Your servant could also say he cherishes you dozens or hundreds of times with his mouth.”

“If Your Imperial Majesty wishes it, I can even tell you that I love you and adore you.”

“If you desire it, I can smile and pretend to know nothing, just as I did before.”

While his eyes were closed, his agitated heart seemed to find some peace, and a faint smile even appeared on his lips.

“However, Your Majesty, those hollow words are nothing.”

“Your servant has heard them and now knows. Words without a heart mean nothing. It is better not to hear them at all.”

Haeryeong moved his hands from the table and clasped them together over his thighs.

Only after gripping his interlaced fingers tight enough to make them tremble could he spit out the words he truly wanted to say.

“Your servant can no longer believe anything Your Majesty says.”

“No matter what you do, doubt is the first thing that arises. My blood runs dry from the anxiety that I might have made another mistake. It does not feel like I am truly living.”

Watching his clasped hands turn white, Haeryeong pleaded with the Emperor in a state of desperation.

“So please, leave your servant alone.”

“Do not toy with a person’s heart and test them for sport.”

“Your servant no longer wishes to bleed after being struck by a stone Your Majesty threw thoughtlessly. I beg you to understand.”

His heart began to pound louder and louder.

He feared the Emperor would explode in rage again.

However, even as time passed, there was no reaction.

When Haeryeong looked up in wonder, the man was simply sitting there as still as a carved stone.

His expression was unreadable.

With his eyes quietly closed, the Emperor appeared to be suppressing his anger.

What was he to do now?

The situation was too awkward to speak first, so he just watched for a reaction, until finally, after a long while, the Emperor opened his eyes with a sigh.

Under that piercing gaze, Haeryeong held his breath and bowed his head deep.

He huddled inward like a snail retreating into its shell.

Without a word of agreement or disagreement, the Emperor stood up and walked out of the inner chamber.

The sound of his retreating footsteps felt like they were slicing through Haeryeong’s chest.

****

Preparations for the Founding Festival were proceeding without a hitch.

Perhaps because the Empress was naturally meticulous, he heard that things were being handled quite well with the help of the Bureau of Food.

Gangcheon had not visited the Empress’s Palace since that last lunch.

Whenever the words the Empress had spoken that day flickered in his mind, an unpleasant feeling reared its head like a venomous snake.

Every time it poked at something in his chest, Gangcheon would endure the churning sensation by gripping the armrest of his throne.

He had already broken three armrests.

“Your Majesty.”

The moment he heard Manchul’s voice, Gangcheon knew what he was about to say.

Manchul was not a man lacking in intuition, but it seemed he could no longer remain silent.

“The repair of the damaged dragon throne is being delayed.”

He was telling him to just use it while it was broken.

Gangcheon clicked his tongue softly, and Manchul simply left it at that one sentence and retreated quietly.

Gangcheon tossed aside the report he couldn’t focus on and bolted from his seat.

As he strode out, hearing the sound of Manchul hurrying to follow, the eunuchs, startled by the Emperor’s sudden appearance, scrambled to maintain formation behind him.

The place Gangcheon headed was the pond where the Buyeong Pavilion stood.

He thought he might clear his mind, but it seemed he had miscalculated.

The moment he saw the clusters of irises near the pond, a face he had been trying to forget surfaced.

Gangcheon scowled in irritation and hurried to another location.

He stopped again in front of the magnolias, whose petals had now all fallen.

He recalled the way the Empress had looked up at him with a flat gaze when he asked if the flowers didn’t look like the two of them.

He remembered how his face had flushed red from the heat, and how he had urged the man on as he kept lagging two steps behind.

Lately, his thoughts were plagued by the Empress no matter where he went.

He had considered it a reasonably good memory, but since the other felt differently, he had nothing more to say or do.

Clicking his tongue and quickening his pace, he spotted the Noble Consort’s entourage ahead, likely out for a stroll.

Because of his small stature, which was barely different from the other court ladies, only the crown of Sirak’s head was visible amidst his “tail” of servants.

Gangcheon stopped in his tracks.

In the past, he would have hurried after him just to see his face one more time, but his legs stopped of their own accord.

Watching the Consort’s party return to his quarters from a distance, Gangcheon clicked his tongue once again.

Nothing was going the way he wanted.

There were only two spouses—the legal one and the concubine—so why were there so many things causing him a headache?

He had been unable to sleep peacefully lately due to various matters, and his sensitive temperament was beginning to boil over.

Furthermore, after learning about Sirak and the Minister of Rites, he had increased the surveillance on the Minister’s private residence.

It was infuriating how that old raccoon was so slippery that it was nearly impossible to dig up his secrets.

Even though he received reports that only the foster father, Jeong Yak-hong, frequented the Consort’s quarters, his intuition regarding the Minister of Rites was strangely poor.

The number of Black Shadows was not large enough to monitor all of his retainers and servants.

With less than a hundred men, even monitoring the palace was a tight operation.

He was merely subtly implying that they were being watched.

In reality, the Black Shadow Unit could not monitor every single inch of the Imperial Palace.

They only stayed constantly attached to three or four key figures, like the Empress or the Consort.

It was only because only Gangcheon and Seok-hwan knew the exact number of the Black Shadows that everyone else assumed they were always being watched and acted with caution.

Still, they rotated surveillance here and there, so they did manage to catch the gist of things.

In such a situation, he worried he was missing something.

Gangcheon was beginning to realize that he had been feeling restless lately.

‘Should I assign more of the palace staff to that side?’

But even now, he had pulled nearly ten men out, leaving the palace shorthanded.

Gangcheon, who inherently lacked trust in people, could not easily increase the size of the Black Shadow Unit, so he was burdened with many worries.

After watching for a while, Gangcheon remained in place even after the Consort’s party vanished, lost in thought.

[Seok-hwan. Send more Black Shadow members to the Minister of Rites’ house. Regardless of the time, follow anyone leaving or entering that house. Fill the gaps in the ranks as you see fit, but do not decrease the surveillance on the various ministries.]

[I shall reorganize the personnel and increase surveillance immediately.]

[Tell Seon and Hyo to see if they can infiltrate the homes of the Minister of Rites and the Vice-Chief of the Ministry of War. They must act independently, and tell them not to invite unnecessary suspicion by overreaching.]

[I shall instruct Seon and Hyo meticulously.]

He had separate instructions for those two, who had recently returned to the palace.

The fact that Sirak’s behavior had not changed at all even after being told he would not receive the Empress’s position was a splinter that nagged at him.

It was especially so because the reports coming from those monitoring the Consort’s Palace said his behavior was no different than usual.

The Sirak Gangcheon knew had many sides to him that were quite different from the image he presented.

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