Chapter 26: Five More Minutes

The conversation was dragging on longer and longer.

At Doyoon’s gesture, Seha finally removed his shoes and stepped inside the apartment.

And there, by the entrance, he noticed another pair of shoes much smaller than Doyoon’s.

“Someone’s here?”

“Yeah.”

“Who?”

If shoes reflected personality, then their owner must’ve been someone neat.

Not a single loose thread stuck out.

They were polished just enough to feel expensive without looking flashy.

That smaller pair lined neatly beside Doyoon’s shoes was more than enough to distract Seha from the questions he originally came here to ask.

The moment Seha noticed Haesu’s shoes, Doyoon bit the inside of his cheek.

After confirming Haesu had fallen asleep, he had become so rushed and distracted that hiding them never even crossed his mind.

So instead, he answered as casually as possible.

He only hoped Seha wouldn’t notice anything strange.

“If you’re coming in to talk, then keep your voice down.”

“……”

“He’s asleep. He barely managed to fall asleep at all, so I don’t want him waking up.”

The explanation lacked context, but it carried more sincerity than anything else Doyoon had said so far.

Whoever Doyoon meant by “he,” Seha simply nodded first.

Rather than suspicious, he looked more like someone unexpectedly witnessing a side of Doyoon he hadn’t seen before.

“Got yourself a boyfriend?”

That was the first thing Seha asked after sitting on the sofa.

Pretending not to hear him, Doyoon rummaged through the refrigerator instead.

He grabbed something Seha would probably like and returned to the living room table.

Then he deliberately redirected the conversation toward the reason Seha had actually come here.

“Jiwoo and Haesu met. I’m not lying. It really was coincidence. Haesu and I were eating breakfast together when it happened.”

“Why were you with Choi Haesu that early in the morning?”

“Just because you stopped doesn’t mean I need to change too. I’ve always seen him often.”

Because you stopped.

Because you left him alone.

Anger rose and fell unpredictably inside Doyoon now.

He wasn’t someone who openly lost his temper often, which only made controlling it harder.

Several times he had to forcibly swallow the irritation threatening to explode.

Especially because he couldn’t risk Haesu waking up from raised voices.

“…Right. You always were like that. Honestly, Jiwoo and I argued a little since yesterday.”

“……”

“Because you were with him. So yeah, I came here out of anger. Sorry. Feels like I keep dragging you into conversations like this.”

At moments like these, Seha resembled the version of himself from before all this hatred existed.

And that made it hurt even more.

Because once again, Doyoon was reminded that the person who destroyed Haesu’s happiness never truly intended to do so either.

Half of the anger Doyoon felt toward Seha was mixed with pity.

Pity, frustration, disappointment at how Seha refused to even try understanding anything.

Kwon Seha remained foolishly unaware of the weight of the sins he continued piling onto himself.

“I told Haesu something. That we probably wouldn’t see each other again after this.”

“…What?”

“I said it intentionally too. That person can’t keep living like this forever.”

The emotions crashing through Doyoon all carried different names.

Rage.

Something even uglier than rage.

Pity.

A numbness so overwhelming it made him want to stop thinking altogether.

The very first thing Doyoon imagined was Haesu sitting there hearing those words.

What kind of expression had he made?

Surely it looked like his world was collapsing.

Just like the day he first looked into Kwon Seha’s eyes again after an entire year only to realize Seha remembered nothing about him.

The longer Doyoon sat here facing Seha, the more he felt his sanity slipping away.

Logically, he understood why Seha said those things to Haesu.

Emotionally, he didn’t.

Crazy bastard.

f*cking asshole.

The curses he refused to say aloud rose all the way to his throat anyway.

“I told him to live well. That enough time had passed already. I meant it sincerely.”

“……”

“I wanted the version of me that only he remembers to become a dead person now.”

The most painful thing about this moment was realizing Doyoon partly agreed with him.

For years now, Doyoon himself had said similar things to Haesu countless times.

Deep down, he had always hoped for the same thing.

The realization made him disgusted with himself for blaming Seha alone while secretly wishing for the exact same outcome.

Haesu.

What would actually make you happy again?

If Doyoon could give up his own share of happiness and hand it over, he genuinely would.

But the problem was that what Haesu wanted and what Doyoon wanted were fundamentally different things.

“I absolutely don’t love him anymore. My body rejects him.”

“……”

“I understand everything you’ve done for him. I’m grateful for it too. Shameless as this sounds… please keep taking care of him from now on.”

Doyoon had spent five years beside Haesu doing exactly that.

Nothing about it had been easy.

At times it felt almost impossible.

And now Seha, after finally trying to clean things up right before his wedding, was asking for far too much.

With unfocused eyes, Doyoon glanced toward the master bedroom.

He wanted this conversation to end already.

After Seha left and silence settled over the apartment again, Doyoon remained sitting on the sofa for a long time.

The same sofa Haesu had occupied earlier.

Since arriving here, Haesu had curled his legs up and quietly followed Doyoon’s every movement with his eyes.

Doyoon had thought that was cute.

At some point, cherishing Haesu had become the most natural thing in the world to him.

Several times he felt like a man possessed, wanting to reach out and kiss him without thinking.

But he barely restrained himself.

Because to Haesu, Doyoon was not that kind of person.

And Doyoon himself had never once confessed honestly either.

Pushing away unnecessary faces and thoughts, he stopped in front of the bedroom door.

Then quietly stepped inside.

Haesu was still asleep, breathing evenly beneath the blankets.

Even the sound of that breathing felt lovable enough to make Doyoon want to cry.

Walking closer, he sat beside the bed instead of using the chair this time.

Sleep softened Haesu’s features even more than usual.

Pale. Smooth. Soft-looking.

The moment thoughts of touching him surfaced, Doyoon realized he was already stroking Haesu’s face unconsciously.

“Haesu.”

No response came.

Even though he knew there wouldn’t be one, he still waited anyway.

Staring at those closed eyelids without the slightest movement, he quietly spoke again.

“Choi Haesu.”

The moment he said the full name he had secretly wanted to call for so long, a shiver ran straight down his spine.

His fingertips tingled.

And the sensation swelling inside him felt impossible to release unless he moved somehow.

It was excitement.

Without question, excitement.

“Haesu…”

Each time he spoke the name, his heartbeat grew louder.

Bigger too.

So huge it almost felt unbearable, like his heart might burst out through his mouth if this continued.

He sat beside the sleeping man for a very long time without getting up once.

Like someone whose only talent in life was repeating Choi Haesu’s name endlessly.

It felt like someone was stroking his face over and over again.

The touch was gentle, but unhesitating.

Struggling against heavy eyelids that refused to lift properly, Haesu tried forcing his eyes open.

Maybe it was because morning had already arrived.

Or maybe because sleep still clung stubbornly to him.

Either way, his eyes wouldn’t open.

“You’re awake?”

“…Why are you touching a sleeping person’s face?”

There was only one person who would do something like this.

Every morning, whenever someone kept squishing and poking at his face, it was always Kwon Seha.

Because Haesu loved sleeping in, Seha had developed all kinds of creative methods to wake him up over the years.

Still, at least today Seha hadn’t tried putting meat directly under his nose.

That alone was a relief.

Seha had always been playful.

Whenever he got tired of waiting for Haesu to wake naturally, he usually went into the kitchen first instead.

Eventually he stopped trying to cook together with him and simply made sure food was ready the moment Haesu got out of bed.

And whenever all else failed, Seha’s final strategy was always waving food beneath Haesu’s nose until he woke up.

It was Haesu’s least favorite method.

And unfortunately, the most effective one.

Whenever that happened, Haesu would always frown deeply before reluctantly opening his mouth.

Soon afterward, Seha’s laughter would follow while Haesu chewed the meat shoved between his lips.

Compared to that, today counted as surprisingly gentle.

The hand touching his face felt slightly different than usual, but still, there was only one person Haesu could imagine doing this to him.

His stubbornly closed eyes felt frustrating, yet he silently hoped Seha would give up first.

“I’ll come out after you finish making breakfast…”

“……”

“I mean it. Just five more minutes. This time I’m not lying.”

Seha never believed Haesu’s sleepy whining.

He was simply the type who always gave in anyway.

Five more minutes. Five more minutes.

If Seha waited through those words about twelve times, an entire hour would pass before he finally lost patience and physically carried Haesu out into the living room himself.

But I really mean it today.

Did he get angry?

As far as Haesu remembered, this was the first time he’d asked for “five more minutes” since regaining consciousness today, yet the silence from the other person felt strangely unusual.

He could clearly feel Seha’s breathing brushing across his face, but Seha still said nothing.

“Five minutes. Promise.”

“……”

“And because I feel bad, I won’t get mad if you kiss me before leaving…”

Usually, this was enough to negotiate successfully.

Whenever Haesu reached this point, Seha would finally pretend to lose and grant him a little extra time in bed.

In his own way, it was Haesu apologizing for making Seha prepare breakfast alone again.

And among all the things Seha loved most about him, this spoiled morning clinginess ranked near the top.